Lost without You: A Single Dad Small Town Romance (Annapolis Harbor Book 2)

by Lea Coll

  “It doesn’t have to be messy or complicated. Not if you take things one day at a time. Tell him how you’re feeling. Don’t bottle it up or pretend he doesn’t matter when he does,” Hadley said.

  “It’s so hard.”

  “If you’ve never done any of those things then it will be hard, but each day it will get easier,” Hadley said.

  “I hope so. Right now, I’m all over the place. I try not to think about him, but it’s impossible when he’s calling every night, showing up at work. Then we’re spending all day together tomorrow.” He was everywhere as if his plan was to overwhelm my defenses. Anticipation thrummed through my veins at the idea he was pursuing me.

  “What are you doing with him tomorrow?” Dylan asked.

  “He has a surprise planned for the day with Declan. Then we’re going out at night. I have no idea what to wear.”

  “That’s it. Friday champagne conference night in my closet,” Dylan said.

  “You’re right. Dylan’s closet. She has better clothes, shoes, and—”

  “Style. That’s what you were trying to say.” Dylan smiled widely.

  Hadley nodded. “Right. Style.”

  “Sound good?” Dylan asked me.

  I was happy, content, and excited for tomorrow. “Sure. I can use all the help I can get.”

  I hadn’t been to Dylan’s new house since she moved in when it was filled with boxes. Once we moved out after law school to separate homes, we didn’t hang out as much until she approached me about the firm.

  It was within walking distance on one of the more secluded side streets. The ones with window flower pots, wrought-iron railings, and fountains in the rear gardens. I always wondered why she needed a roommate in law school when it was clear she came from money. Maybe deep down she was as lonely as me.

  I lifted the heavy knocker, rapping twice on the wooden door.

  “Come in,” Dylan’s voice called from inside.

  I pushed the door open, stepping inside.

  “We’re upstairs,” Dylan said.

  Hadley giggled. “In her closet.”

  “Sounds like you got started without me.” If the champagne was already flowing, I wasn’t sure how good Dylan’s style advice was going to be.

  I headed up the narrow wooden stairs to the room where light spilled out into the hallway. “Oh wow. When you said closet, I thought you meant—”

  “An actual closet?” Hadley asked from her perch on the white velvet settee in the middle of the room. Her brow raised at me, she held a glass of bubbly in her hand, her legs crossed at the ankles.

  Her hair piled high in a messy bun, Dylan stood in front of a full-length mirror holding a black dress up to her body. “It’s my third bedroom. Who needs three bedrooms when only one person lives here? The closets in these homes are ridiculously small.”

  “I’m not sure closets were a necessity in the 1800s,” I said.

  Dylan pointed at me in the mirror. “True.” She threw the dress onto another chair, then plopped onto a soft-looking ottoman. “Now tell me all the details about tomorrow so we can dress you properly.”

  I folded my arms across my chest. “That’s the problem. He won’t tell me anything. During the day he said to wear comfortable shoes and at night, a dress.”

  “Okay. You’re on your own with the comfortable shoes. I’m not sure I have any, but I can handle the dress.” Dylan popped up to rifle through the rack of dresses.

  “You don’t have sneakers?” Hadley asked.

  “She doesn’t. I lived with her all through law school,” I said, sitting on the ottoman Dylan vacated.

  “Why would I ever wear sneakers when I could wear all of these?” She gestured at the wall-to-wall white shelves, showcasing her heels and purse collection.

  “This is my dream closet.” Hadley spread her arms wide, her champagne sloshing over the rim of her glass. “Whoops.”

  “I think you mean dream room.” It was amazing, wood floors covered with fluffy rugs I wanted to sink my toes into.

  “She has a lingerie armoire. Can you imagine?”

  I followed Hadley’s pointed finger to the tall piece of furniture with narrow drawers. “No. I can’t.”

  “Focus, ladies. We need to make Avery drop-dead gorgeous for her very important date tomorrow. Not that you’re not gorgeous already.” She waved her hand at me.

  “Are you guys drunk?” I asked them.

  Hadley giggled. “We didn’t eat dinner, so yeah, probably.”

  “Let me pour you a glass. I’m sorry. I’m a terrible host,” Dylan said.

  “It’s okay.”

  She studied me from head to toe before considering me. “Dark hair, pale skin, I think red or blue, what do you think, Hadley?”

  “So, I have no sense of style but I think she’d look amazing in blue with her eyes.”

  “You want him to see you, admire the dress, then tear it off you.”

  I raised my brow, my skin suddenly warm. He was picking me up at my place. We could do whatever we wanted. I didn’t have a roommate. Declan would be at Ian’s.

  Dylan held up two dresses, both blue. “Which one?”

  “That one,” Hadley said, pointing at the sapphire sleeveless dress, mermaid style, snakeskin shimmery pattern with bright beading on the shoulders.

  It was exquisite.

  Dylan smiled. “Perfect. Try it on.”

  “Here?”

  “You can go across the hall to the bathroom if you want. Yell if you need help zipping.”

  I took the hanger from her outstretched hand as Hadley asked Dylan where she’d worn the dress before.

  I’d never worn such a beautiful dress. It looked like it belonged on a red carpet. I worried it might be too much, but I wanted to look amazing. I undressed, stepped slowly into the dress, shimmying it over my hips. I let out a sigh of relief when I was able to pull it on. I could barely twist to pull up the zipper.

  I lifted the skirt of the dress, heading back to the closet. Both women turned to look at me, their mouths dropping open.

  Dylan ran behind me to zip the dress. She turned me to face the mirror. It looked amazing on me, fitting tightly to my curves, bringing out the blue in my eyes. I smoothed my hands over the shimmery dress, wondering what Griffin would think of it.

  “Wow. I have no words,” Hadley said.

  “It’s perfect,” Dylan said from behind me.

  “It is. What if he’s not taking me somewhere fancy?”

  Dylan placed her hands on her hips. “If not, he’ll change his plans once he sees you.”

  “Yeah, he’ll probably want to stay in,” Hadley quipped.

  Dylan eyed me critically in the mirror. “This looks better on you than it ever did on me.”

  The other two talked about restaurants around town it would be appropriate for, but I turned first one way then the other to see the full effect of me in this dress. I closed my eyes, imagining what Griffin would think when he saw me in this dress. I hoped his eyes would darken with lust, his fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me into his body to feel his hardening erection. What would it be like to be with a man who wouldn’t allow me to take control? He’d challenge me every step of the way. I opened my eyes, not wanting to wait until tomorrow to see him.

  Dylan grabbed a pair of midnight-colored pumps. “Try these shoes.”

  The shoes gave me needed inches, making me look curvier. I took one last look at myself in the mirror barely recognizing myself. “This is perfect. Thank you.”

  “Do you need help getting it off?” Dylan asked.

  “Sure.”

  She slid the zipper down as I stepped out. “If you don’t have him wrapped around your finger, you will after he sees you in this dress.”

  “You think?” I looked at Hadley for confirmation.

  “You’re gorgeous.”

  “Thank you.”

  Dylan hung the dress on the door. “Whenever you need us for a wardrobe upgrade, we’re here.”

/>   “Or advice,” Hadley said.

  For the first time, I felt like I belonged. “Let me get dressed real quick. I’ll be right back.”

  When I was dressed again, I hung the dress on the back of the door to the closet before accepting a glass of champagne, settling onto the ottoman, my bare feet sinking into the soft rug.

  “I know why that dress looks so amazing on you. It’s not just the color or the fit. You’re usually sweet, almost innocent looking. The contrast with that dress is striking,” Dylan said.

  I placed a hand on my chest. “You think I look innocent?”

  “Definitely,” Hadley said.

  I shifted uncomfortably. “I don’t feel innocent. I’m the one who’s usually the bad guy in relationships. I never catch feelings.”

  Dylan furrowed her brows. “So, what, you’ve never been in love?”

  “No. Why? Have you?” We were still young. I couldn’t be the only one who’d never been in love.

  “I haven’t,” Dylan said carefully.

  “So you’re saying you’re catching feelings for Griffin?” Hadley asked, leaning toward me.

  I bit my lip. “Yeah. I think so. I look forward to his calls. I want to see him.”

  “Why do you seem so freaked out by that?” Hadley asked.

  I wanted to argue with her but I couldn’t. I was freaked out. “I’ve never put myself out there. I don’t want to get hurt.”

  “Who says you’re going to get hurt?” Hadley asked.

  “Someone always does. It’s not like every relationship is a fairy tale.”

  “I wouldn’t say it’s a fairy tale, but things with Cade have been great,” Hadley said.

  Things had been great so far with Griffin, but Declan usually acted as a buffer. This was the first time we were going out alone. “I’m not like you. I’m not sure I’m capable of a relationship.”

  “You don’t give yourself enough credit. Just because you haven’t done it before, doesn’t mean you can’t,” Hadley said.

  “Yeah, maybe.” There were higher stakes in this relationship because Declan was involved. I didn’t want to hurt him either. What if he got attached, but things didn’t work out? Or I bolted when things got too serious? That wasn’t fair to him.

  “I think you’re overthinking things. Go with what you feel,” Hadley said.

  Could I do that when I’d never allowed myself to feel much of anything since the shame and humiliation of high school? If I numbed myself, nothing could get to me. If I opened up, anything was possible. That was the scariest thing of all.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Griffin

  I’d planned a low key touring day because I was taking her to the yacht club this evening. It was fancy, maybe a little pretentious, but Cade texted this morning telling me Hadley wanted me to know that Avery planned to wear an evening gown. I’d seen her at the Kids Speak fundraiser in a fancy dress but this was different. This time she was dressing for me.

  I wanted to take her somewhere worthy of her. I wanted to impress her even when I knew she didn’t care about my money or status. She wanted me.

  I texted her to meet Declan and me at a historical mansion and gardens a little north of downtown. We leaned against the brick wall surrounding the building waiting for her. I saw her the moment she turned the corner, walking toward us, a smile brightening her face.

  A sense of contentment flowed through me as I pushed off the wall to greet her. “Good morning.”

  She stopped a foot away from me. “’Morning. Hi, Declan.”

  He looked up from his gaming console. “Hey.”

  “Put that away.”

  He grumbled but placed it in his bookbag. He wasn’t excited about touring a historical building but my original plans of driving to the Eastern Shore would be too much with our dinner plans.

  I held out my hand to Avery, breathing a sigh of relief when she took it. We listened to the tour guide as she led us around the home, but I had trouble focusing. I wanted to hurry up through the tour so I could be alone with Avery. The tour guide finally let us loose in the gardens. Declan ran ahead of us to explore. We followed at a leisurely pace. Grounds people assembled a tent for a wedding scheduled for this evening.

  Avery picked up one of the potted flowers for sale on the way out.

  I liked to think it would always remind her of this day. I took it from her, paying for it.

  Declan had wandered into the gift shop, so we were alone.

  “I know this wasn’t an exciting day for you and Declan, but thanks for joining me. Things are better when you experience them with someone.” Her eyes widened at her admission.

  My thumb coasted over her lips. “I like doing things with you. It’s like seeing my hometown all over again for the first time.”

  I leaned down, kissing her lightly on the lips. It was a promise for more. “I can’t wait for tonight.”

  “Me neither.”

  “I have this weird feeling when I’m with you, like I’m falling off a cliff.”

  A weird sinking sensation settled in my stomach. This was real. Her words were proof she was as into this as I was. “That’s a good thing.”

  “I hope so.”

  Avery

  I tried texting Griffin several times to call off tonight but each time I pulled up his contact reading his last text see you tonight, I couldn’t do it. I saw Declan and Griffin’s disappointed faces. I was in too deep.

  I was panicking, wanting to claw back up the cliff to safety where no one had a hold over my life, their words didn’t matter, their actions didn’t faze me. Back to the life I lived before Declan and Griffin. The one that was also devoid of light and happiness.

  If I wanted something more, if I wanted to be happy, I needed to take a risk. I needed to trust Griffin wouldn’t betray me like Wes had.

  I pulled half of my hair into a small bun, curling the ends of the hair that was down. The color of my hair contrasted nicely against the sapphire color of my dress. I tried to steady my hand as I used the mascara wand on my lashes, trying to remember Dylan’s tutorial from last night. Finished, I stared at the woman in the mirror, unrecognizable.

  I wasn’t hiding anymore. I wasn’t living half a life. I was vibrant. I was a woman who saw what she wanted and went after it. I closed my eyes. I wanted Griffin, but how long would he want me? What would happen when he found out I was cold inside? I tried to push out the doubts, the fears, the worries that he’d decide I wasn’t worth the trouble.

  The worries of leaving myself unprotected, giving someone else power to hurt me crept in, making my hands shake, my stomach tighten. The knock sounded on the door, startling me from reverie.

  He was here. I’d left my clutch and heels by the door, so I headed that way, taking steadying breaths as I walked. I pulled open the door, not feeling any more settled.

  My knees felt loose. I kept my eyes on his face even when I wanted to slowly peruse down his body, taking in his trim form in the suit. I knew without looking he was achingly handsome.

  His eyes filled with appreciation at the sight of me. “You look gorgeous.”

  Not hot. Not sexy. Gorgeous. “Thank you.”

  He stepped in the doorway, his hand on my neck, tilting my chin up. “I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful.” His voice was full of admiration.

  I wanted to say thank you, say something, but I couldn’t. I could only nod slightly, parting my lips in invitation.

  He stepped closer, his feet on either side of mine, his hands on the back of my neck, lips touching mine. There was nothing tentative about it. It was demanding. When he finally lifted his head, taking a step back, my lips felt swollen, my skin warm and tingling.

  His eyes crinkled at the corners, his lips twitched. “Are you ready to go to dinner?”

  “Yes.” I grabbed my clutch, checking my compact for smeared lipstick before slipping into my shoes, then taking his offered hand.

  We walked down the narrow steps of my building onto the heat
of the sidewalk. “I’ve never felt this nervous on a date before.”

  Griffin smiled. “That means I’m doing something right.”

  “It does?” Incomplete thoughts tumbled through my head. What was I doing? Why was I here? Could I trust him? I couldn’t settle on any one thought, the nerves making me jump from one thing to another.

  “My goal tonight is to make you feel everything, deny yourself nothing.”

  His words shot straight to my core. Could I let go of my reservations and fears, letting myself have one perfect night with him? I wanted to. I want that for him and for me.

  I wanted to tell him to take care of me, to take care of my heart, but the words died on my lips. It was too much, too soon. I could barely handle all of the emotions swirling inside, threatening to bubble over.

  He winked, squeezing my hand. “Let’s go eat. Then we can unwrap all this later.”

  Instead of sounding scary, the idea of him unwrapping me both figuratively and literally, sent tingles spreading over my skin, leaving goose bumps in their wake. I felt light, hopeful.

  I stepped inside his sleek sports car, not asking where we were going, trusting he’d taken care of every detail so I could relax. I laid my head back on the headrest, watching the sharp line of his jaw, the stubble he kept there, the muscles of his hands as he maneuvered the stick shift. My hands coasted over the buttery leather. “I didn’t know you drove this.”

  “It’s what I drove in California. It’s been sitting in the garage, waiting for a special occasion.”

  My brow raised. “Am I that special occasion?”

  His gaze skidded to me, then back to the road. “You know you are.”

  His eyes, his lips, his touch were full of unspoken promises of what would come later. I squeezed my thighs together, letting the anticipation build.

  He parked in front of the valet. “We’re here.”

  I looked around, seeing that here was the Annapolis Yacht Club. I loved that he’d made the effort to impress me with the sports car, the fine dining. “Fancy. I’m impressed, Mr. Locke.”