Gay Indeed

by Lara Hale

  *beep, beep, beep… beep, beep, beep*

  Fuck! It's been a freaking month since Harvey and I kissed, and I keep dreaming about us together. What kind of punishment is this?

  To say that things have been weird between us is an understatement. The asshole kept bringing women here, can you fucking believe it? So, of course, I went back to Shane.

  “Boss, do you have a minute?” He looks like a minute is the last thing he wants to give me. Not like he has a choice; I still work for him. “It’s about work, Mr. Breevort.”

  “Mr. Breevort?”

  “This is an official matter.” I say, “May as well be professional.”

  “O–kay! What is it? Do we need more supplies for the pool?”

  “No, nothing like that. I wanted to give you my notice. I finally got my ID, and I have access to my bank account and my savings so I can now get an actual job.”

  “Tobias, what the—what the fuck?”

  “I'm sorry, sir, but I think we both know I can't act like things are the same. They can't be, and you very well know I'm attracted to you. It is not that I won't control myself; I just don't see the need to put myself through that.”

  “What are you saying here, Tobias?”

  “I'm saying, sir, that I will stay until you find my replacement, but once you do, I am moving out.” And if me quitting was a shock, me moving out almost gave him a stroke.

  “Moving out?” He jumps off the kitchen stool, his cellphone landing flat on the floor. “Moving out where?”

  “Shane's place. He has a second room, and he said I could stay there until I find an apartment.”

  Tobias, you are not moving in with him. I forbid it!”

  “Forbid it?” I start laughing like a maniac. “You can't forbid shit, Harvey! Go and control all the women you've paraded through this house this past month. Acting as if that would clear the fact that I had your hard dick in my mouth, while you came down my throat. And you liked it!”

  “So, what? Was I supposed to turn gay for you after that? Is that what you thought would happen? For the love of God Tobias, what happened to 'what happens in Maine, stays in Maine'?”

  “Oh, grow the fuck up!” I shout, irritated because the man is infuriating. “You didn't get drunk or hit on a stripper. You let a man suck your dick! That doesn't stay in Maine… no! That shit will chase you every-fucking-where whether you like it or not.”

  I'm so angry right now. How dare him?

  “You know what?” Harvey speaks. “You don't need to wait until I find someone else. You can leave now and go suck your friend's cock. He is the one that wants you, not me.”

  That stops me. He is kicking me out. He seems to see the hurt on my face, not that I can hide it. “Tobias, that's not what I meant—” He walks in my direction, but I can't, not right now. No, when the man just crushed my heart like a goddam walnut.

  “Stay the fuck away from me, Harvey.”

  “I'm sorry, Tobias, I didn't mean to—”

  “Fucking save it, Harvey!” I shout, louder than I have before. “People don't accidentally say things like that unless at least part of it is true.”

  “Let's face it, Tobias. Our friendship was ruined the second you put your mouth on my dick.” I don't let him speak anymore and walk away instead, already dialing Shane's number from the prepaid cell phone Harvey bought me when I moved into his house.

  He wants to act as if nothing happened. Fine by me! If I can live with my family's rejection, living with Harvey's will be a piece of cake.

  HARVEY

  Chapter 11

  He walks away without allowing me to get one more word in. And yes, I want him, I've dreamt of it. I just can't do anything about it. I'm straight. As he walks away from me, I hear him talking on the phone.

  I don't pay much attention until the person on the other end picks up, apparently after quite the number of rings. And when Tobias says, “hey, babe! Do you think I can move in sooner than we planned?” I chase him down because Tobias belongs to me, not to that child looking man he wants to move in with; he won't be calling him babe. He won't be calling him, period.

  I enter his bedroom without asking, take his phone off his ear and throw it to the side. I turn him around and press my lips to him, and it feels so right. I don't want it, but I have to have it. He is mine, these lips are mine, and he isn't going anywhere. His mouth feels soft, tender, but then I feel the air along with the absence of his face that seconds ago was so close to mine.

  I blink, and that's when I see it. I see a fist—one I sure deserve—connecting with my jaw. I stumble backward and just stay there because yes, I damn well deserved this. Ok, I admit it. It was a little stupid of me to do that after telling Tobias I don’t want him.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “Yeah? It looks like you weren’t thinking at all!” Oh yes, he is pissed. “You think you can just come here and kiss me like nothing of what you said out there really happened? Fuck you, Mr. Breevort!”

  “I’m sorry, Tobias, I swear. Please, don’t go! It was an overreaction, but you have to know I don’t want you gone. You are important to me; you are not dumb, you know that.” For a second, I thought I had him… for a second.

  He passes by me and toward his closet, and when I pull his shirt, so he doesn’t get too far, he turns around and makes me understand I went too far.

  “If you don’t let me go, a fist to your face will be the least of your problems, Harvey.” So yes, I let him go.

  ∞∞∞

  It’s been a week since Tobias left the house. I couldn’t care less about hiring someone new; I never really needed anyone in the first place. Yes, he has been of tremendous help, but I had people coming and going to take care of all the things Tobias has been doing. I just wanted to help him. I felt drawn to him since I first saw him.

  “I still owe you for the last week you worked here.”

  I send him the text and wait, and he doesn't reply.

  “Are you coming back for the rest of your things?”

  Hours pass and still nothing. I can't lose him because… well because I say so. And I text him again.

  “We are still friends, right?”

  I guess that sets him off because what comes next is one simple text that holds the meaning of all his emotions.

  “For the love of God… please fuck OFF!”

  And I understood I was indeed, supposed to fuck off, so I did. And then another month passed.

  Tobias and I are finally speaking. He apologized for being a dick, I apologized for being an asshole, but nothing stayed the same as before. I haven't seen him since the day he left, I haven't even heard him, and all communication has been through texts.

  I'm at one of my restaurants having an early dinner with Lamar. My childhood friend and long-time 'on again off again' hookups.

  “So, I've been thinking, and I want to propose something to you.”

  “Oh yeah?” I respond, “what's that?”

  “You have to understand first, Harvey, that I am only asking you because I trust you. We've known each other long enough, and we are clear that we don't want anything serious.”

  “Ok, what's up?”

  “I want to have a three—”

  Lamar’s words are cut off in my brain and replaced by a cloud because at that moment, I look around and see Tobias with a man. A man I haven't seen before.

  “Harvey? Did you hear any of what I said?” Yes, she said something about a threesome, which wouldn't be my first.

  “Of course, I heard. You want to have a threesome blah blah blah.” She looks at me, eyebrow raised, waiting for the answer. “Yes! You know I'm always down for all that.”

  The surprise in her face is almost comical. I don't know why, because every time we've felt like experimenting on something, we know we can hundred percent trust each other to try it and move on if it fails.

  “Oh, wow!
We've done enough. I just didn't think you would be down for this one.”

  I can't take it anymore. Excusing myself, I walk toward Tobias and interrupt their barks of laughter. What can be that fucking funny, anyway?

  “Tobias, I didn't know you were coming to see me.” He looks like he wants the earth to swallow him.

  “I didn't think I'd find you here, that's why we came so early and all.”

  “So what? You didn't want your date to meet me?” The stranger smiles, and that irritates me even more. Then he looks me up and down, and with a smirk, he speaks to Tobias.

  “I’m assuming this is your boss. Isn’t it, honey?”

  Honey? Who the fuck does he think he is, calling my Tobias that? “Yes, sugar,” Tobias responds, “this here is Harvey Breevort. Harvey, this is Diandré Pratts. He—”

  “Is this a fucking joke?” I cut him off because, how dare him to bring another man to my damn restaurant.

  “What do you mean?” He asks the question, and he actually looks confused.

  “You are bringing another man to my restaurant?” I see the rising fire in his eyes before he speaks.

  “Considering I've never brought any other man to my very straight boss' restaurant, I doubt the word another is the one to use. Anyhow, this is Diandré, my roommate's boyfriend.”

  I didn't understand how royally I fucked up until I saw Shane take the seat next to the man, kiss his lips, and say, “I'm sorry, babe! My boss didn't want to let me go. Oh, hello, Harvey!”

  Wait, Shane and Tobias or, Diandré and Tobias, are they not a thing? Tobias looks at me with a smirk that increases my embarrassment even more. Before I get to be bullied by then because of what just happened, I decide to go back to my table.

  “It was nice to see you, Tobias,” I say, already rushing back to my table so I can leave them behind and as I walk away, I heard a new round of laughter that I'm sure involves me.

  “Oh my! Who is that handsome man?”

  It’s the first thing Lamar says when I return, “uh?” It’s all I can respond, being that she took me off guard, having no clue of who she is checking out.

  “That yummy man that was talking to you. Black hair, blue sweater. He is hot, Harvey.” Right? As if I needed more of Tobias.

  “He was my employee, Lamar, and he is gay.” I make that clear, so she doesn't get ideas with him. She can't have him… no one can! But apparently, the news just makes her happier.

  “Oh, my God! That's even better!”

  “How is that better?” I ask.

  “For our threesome! He is the perfect guy for it.”

  Hold the fuck on! She wants a threesome with me and another man? And she wants Tobias?

  “Eh, I don't think that's a great idea, Lamar.” She pouts, knowing that she always gets what she wants when she does.

  “What? Why not? He is hot, and you are hot, he is gay, you said yes to the threesome. What can be better than that?”

  But before I tell her that anything is better than her suggestion, she is waving at Tobias and calling him our way. With a frown, he gets up and starts walking toward us. Always the respectful man he is, he offers his hand to her.

  “Hi, yes, ma'am?”

  “Oh, so proper, isn't he?” She bites her lips, and I officially want to strangle her.

  “Sorry!” He chuckles. “I just don't know you, so I don't know what to expect.”

  And then she digs my hole even deeper. “Why, I think our friend Harvey here has something to ask you.”

  “He does?” Tobias asks, looking as terrified as I feel. How am I supposed to fix this, you ask? The answer is delivered to me the second Lamar whispers in my ear.

  “I can always ask him and someone else if you want to change your mind.” And no, absolutely not. She is not corrupting him into some weird threesome with a stranger. So, I open my big ass mouth and ask Tobias for the last thing I want. To let me share him with someone else.

  TOBIAS

  Chapter 12

  I look back and forth between the two, wanting to make sure it is not a joke. But the look on Harvey's face tells me that yes, he just asked me that.

  “I mean, is it me? Is it Harvey? Which one of us don't you want? If it is Harvey, we can find someone else.”

  Ok, that right there tells me that this is her plan. And if that wouldn't have done it, the scowl imprinted on the man's face would have.

  “I have no idea what to say.” I laugh uncomfortably, “I mean, it's not every day that you get asked for a threesome in the middle of dinner.”

  The more the chick and I talk, the angrier I can sense Harvey getting. I know he wants me. He can try to hide it and act as if he would never fuck a man, but even the straightest tree has crooked roots. I remember the quote from a book by my favorite author and chuckle.

  “Is that a yes?” The chick asks.

  “Eh, don't you think I should at least know your name first?” She looks embarrassed all of a sudden. As if she wasn't even computing what was going on. I would've felt bad had she not been sliding her hand up and down Harvey's back from under his shirt.

  “My God, I can't believe I forgot about that part,” her cheeks flush, “I'm Lamar Stinson, and you are?”

  “Tobias Spencer.”

  We remain quiet, and I know the next words have to come from me. I ask them for some time to think about it because shit, I do need time to think about this. The answer would've been a definite 'no,' but what if this is my only chance to see Harvey naked. What if this is the only way I can get him near me, skin to skin, touching him and claiming it was an accident. Blame it on the proximity. What if, by agreeing to this, he finally sees that it is ok to like men?

  Harvey doesn't say another word, and I save Lamar's contact in my phone with the promise to have an answer by the end of the week, and I kid you not, this has been the longest week of my life.

  ∞∞∞

  “Ok, ok! I'll tell you, but Shane, you cannot tell anyone. You know what? If you tell anyone, I will tell Diandré that you were the one to key his ex's name on the side of his Lexus.”

  “Damn it! You are pulling out the guns. This must be juicy.”

  “No, no, no! Not juicy… this is not gossip, Shane. I swear I'll fucking kill you.”

  “Babe! You know I won't tell anyone.” I stare at him to make sure he gets the point. He likes drama too much. “Fine… and stop freaking calling me, babe! You want Diandré to kick me out?”

  “He knows I only have eyes for him, and that you have a forever crush on Harvey. Calling you babe means nothing to any of us, so spill it.”

  I get in on the proposal and tell him all. I tell him every detail of the meeting where he asked for this. I say to him that this is possibly my only chance. I tell him everything, and I try to keep it unbiased with the hopes that he will give me an honest answer on what he thinks I should do.

  Our conversation is over, and I message Lamar. I would message Harvey, but I am not sure of what the heck is going on at the moment, to be honest.

  Tobias, “Hey, Lamar, this is Tobias. I was wondering if we could meet to discuss, you know what.”

  Lamar, “Oh, hey there, handsome! I was just talking to Harvey about you this morning. Do you have an answer for us?”

  Tobias, “I do. When can we meet?”

  Lamar, “How about tonight at Andreas?”

  Tobias, “I doubt Harvey will want to discuss a threesome at his restaurant. Can we meet somewhere else?”

  We agree to meet at a park in between our houses, and she confirms later that Harvey agrees too. We sat at a picnic table far from the rest of the crowd.

  I am the first to get there, then Lamar, and last comes Harvey. He looks like he would rather be at a cemetery on Halloween during a zombie apocalypse than here with us. Oh well, too bad! This was his bright idea, after all.

  “So, Tobias?” Lamar says, “Don't make us wait. What's your answer?”

  I think about it one last time, take a deep breath, and give my a
nswer. “The answer is yes, but I have questions and conditions.”

  Harvey's face when I said yes, is something I could never forget. It was a mix of excitement, anger, disbelief, anticipation, and lust.

  I ask them the when and where, and we all agree that Harvey's place is the best option for this stupid idea. She wants it to be tomorrow, so we don’t have time to change our minds, her words.

  I make it quite clear that this is a one-time thing and that under no circumstances will we bond about this. I put an extra shot of sarcasm on the word ‘bond’ in case they had a different plan in mind. After we each say what we want out of this. Ok, maybe saying each of us is an exaggeration, since Lamar is the one to talk about what she wants out of this. I clear my throat and get myself ready to ask the question I'm afraid to get an answer for, but I get brave and speak.

  “So, are you two like dating or something? Is this something you want to experience before getting serious, buying rings, or whatever? I need to know what I'm stepping into.”

  Lamar is the first and only one to burst out laughing. “Oh, God, no! We've hooked up plenty of times, but we would each be the last person the other would want to commit. We know too many secrets about one another, and this sure is going to go in that vault.”

  Not having anything to say and with Harvey not saying more than fifteen words and a couple of grunts throughout the entire conversation, I leave them be since I have an interview early morning and want to be ready for it. I hope I get this job; I don't want to go through all my savings, and I still have enough, but I don't want to get too comfortable.

  ∞∞∞

  The interview was a success. I have a degree in sports medicine, and Shane got me the interview with the head coach director of something, something—Shit! I should learn what the man does. Anyways, I'm excited to work with athletes because get this.… I get to touch muscular big hot bodies all day long, and they have a contract saying they have to allow me to do it. And yeah, there are rules and ethics and whatnot but still, I'll take massaging some hot shot's shoulders over cleaning a pool, any fucking day.