I Think I Really Do Have an Ulcer

by Geoffrey Watson

  Tell me of your own views on Marmont’s new responsibilities. How many divisions can he now bring against me and how soon after he hears that we have started to invest Ciudad Rodrigo?”

  Welbeloved grinned at MacKay. “A merry Christmas to yew also, My Lord. I am not entirely certain what Marmont’s new responsibilities are, as many of the despatches we captured were in cypher. I trust yew had success in breaking the code?

  We did, however, manage to intercept Marmont’s orders to three of Dorsenne’s old generals and have deduced that he now has three more divisions and vast areas of the Asturias and León to garrison. In my view, that has actually drained his fighting strength and the recent departure of General Montbrun with twelve thousand men and the weakening of Dorsenne’s army by regiments leaving for France, makes it unlikely that Marmont may challenge yew seriously until May at the earliest.

  From all my sources, I put his command at around seventy five thousand men: less the twelve thousand detached and marching with Montbrun. It is winter and he may have one in ten sick. Let us be conservative and say only four thousand and that total then equals the numbers of the three divisions that he got from Dorsenne.

  He now has to keep a garrison in at least a dozen towns from the Asturias down to Almaraz – hundreds of miles apart. Concentrating an army from scattered garrisons at that distance has to take two to three weeks and if he manages to collect more than thirty thousand, half his garrisons shall straightway be under siege by guerrilleros.”

  It was as if an abacus was clicking away behind Wellington’s eyes. He grunted. “Your estimates are remarkably close to my own, Sir Joshua and it has to be assumed that he is quite unable to borrow troops from any other source. I cannot feel as optimistic as you about the time needed to concentrate his army, but I do confide that it shall not be less than two weeks and he shall not find more than thirty thousand.”

  “Yew shall allow, My Lord, that the time he shall need to do so starts from when he gets the news that Rodrigo is under attack? He cannot learn of that for half a week. Even if a message leaves the very moment yew begin.

  When I tell yew that three battalions of Hornets are now in position around Rodrigo and Salamanca, yew may be sure that when yew give the word, no messengers shall successfully leave Rodrigo and that cavalry units from Salamanca shall not be allowed to reconnoitre in this direction.

  I am prepared to guarantee that no news shall leave the area for the first ten days and then only if a full regiment of cavalry breaks out at night from Salamanca. That shall give yew at least two weeks before Marmont even hears about it.”

  “Oh stuff, Welbeloved! Anyone else making a commitment like that and I should laugh them to scorn. Realistically, how can you give such a guarantee?”

  Welbeloved blinked. “Have faith, My Lord, in the Hornets: the division yew helped to create.” He turned to MacKay. “Hamish, yew have just heard what I have promised. Oblige me by telling Lord Wellington how it shall be accomplished.”

  MacKay nodded thoughtfully. “It is nae such a big problem, My Lord. Firstly, we hae tae stop anyone frae Rodrigo getting out wi’ a message. I hae noted that ye hae the light division surrounding the place and they can stop anyone during the day. Our men are also trained tae work at night and one o’ our battalions shall seal off Rodrigo during the hours o’ darkness.

  The next problem is Salamanca. I hae spoken wi’ a friend in the 95th. He tells me that Salamanca sends a cavalry patrol about once a week tae see if there are any siege guns firing. I imagine that they may hear them frae ten miles if the wind is right?

  I should be inclined tae hae twa battalions watching Salamanca. If the siege could start on the day after a routine patrol, we should gain a’ the time until the next one and we shall hae tae make sure we capture that one before they get close enough tae hear the guns.

  When they don’t return in the evening, another patrol shall come tae find out why, probably at first light. We shall take that one as well. When they also dinnae return, we may expect three or four squadrons on the next day.

  Out o’ four or five hundred men, some may survive our ambushes and the commander at Salamanca shall smell stinking fish. Then we turn our attention tae the roads frae Salamanca tae Almaraz and stop all the couriers going tae Marmont.”

  “Tell me what you shall do, Colonel, if Salamanca send out their couriers at night?”

  “Aye, My Lord. They shall nae hear your siege guns firing at night and shall hae tae come very close tae confirm that the town is actively invested. We can probably take most o’ them. Then again, they may hae already convinced themselves that ye cannae be serious until May or June.

  “One o’ the despatches frae Marmont that we took the other day, talks about ten thousand sick in your army. I hope that is nae the case?”

  Wellington smiled mirthlessly. “I have been to considerable pains to have some of my officers write home to their influential friends, quoting such figures, Colonel. Incredibly, much of what is written finds its way into our own newspapers and Buonaparte is said to be an avid reader of the Times.

  I never was quite so devious and have been thinking that I may have changed sometime after I first met Sir Joshua at Talavera?”

  “If it works this well, My Lord, I hope I may learn how tae emulate ye both.”

  “Much as I respect Sir Joshua’s agility of mind, MacKay, I do suspect that you need no lessons from either of us. Now, leave me to think on what you have told me. I shall inform you tomorrow if I decide to bring up my siege train from Almeida.”

  They both rose, but Welbeloved broke in before they left. “My wife wishes to be remembered to you, My Lord. She has accompanied us from Santiago with a small load of fireworks that she and our talented smith have been working on. She shall be gratified if you may make a six inch mortar available and watch a small demonstration.”

  “By gods! Welbeloved, you told me that she has presented you with a second son. Is it not far too early for her to be running around doing whatever you people do? I have mentioned to you before that she terrifies me, but bring her to dinner tomorrow anyhow and she may tell me herself how my godson is progressing, as well as describing what other terrors she has been devising for the enemy.”

  * * *

  The Condesa enjoyed dining with Lord Wellington. He had a very correct manner in conversation with members of her sex and tried never to discuss with them matters pertaining to what he called the rough trade of making war.

  In spite of that, he had accepted her as an aide at Talavera, for liaison with the units of Hornets and he knew that she had killed more Frenchmen than most of the officers in his army.

  More than once, he had stated that she terrified him and she used her position to tease him in a way that he would not have accepted from others of her sex. It is possible that he may have been influenced in this by the knowledge that the Hanoverian side of her family was related to King George the Second, making her a distant cousin of the present king and the prince regent. He always had a marked preference for aristocratic blood in his aides.

  Even his attitude to Juanita MacKay had changed subtly when he had discovered that her father had been a minor hidalgo. She also had rejoined her husband and was present at the dinner.

  During the meal they observed the convention and kept the conversation general, with the Condesa contributing rather more than her share. She had had no opportunity of enjoying the company of her own class for nearly a year; having been restricted to Santiago before, and for six months after the birth of her second son.

  After the meal, the covers were drawn and Wellington formally introduced the martial Condesa to the company, which included the colonel of one of his artillery regiments.

  “I am sure that, by now, all of you have heard of the exploits of Sir Joshua Welbeloved’s Naval Division, known as the Hornets. What you may not know is that during their gallant action when aiding Sir John Moore to fight his way back to Corruna, their explosive and demolition expert was
killed and the Condesa de Alba, now Lady Welbeloved, took over his duties.

  Since then, she has become more knowledgeable about the use of explosives than most of my engineers and was mainly responsible for sealing off a route to the crest of Buçaco ridge that the rest of us had neglected.

  The Condesa now wishes to show us her latest device. I have no idea what it is, but Colonel Jackman here has been asked to provide a six-inch mortar for a demonstration in the morning.”

  He turned to Mercedes. Condesa, you have your audience and we all await the revelation of your latest brainchild.”

  Mercedes rose to her feet and signalled to the sentry guarding the door. “Milord and Gentlemen. I make no apologies for the fact that Lady Juanita MacKay and I are present in the uniform of the Avispónes, the Hornets that my husband commands. We both took up arms against the invaders when our countrymen proved sadly inadequate in resisting them.

  Other than those times when we have been providing our men with future warriors, we are determined to wear this colourless garb until the enemy is expelled from Spain.”

  The reaction to this preamble seemed to surprise her, as the company jumped to its feet and cheered. She waited until their enthusiasm had abated and took the large metal cylinder from Dolores, her maid, who had carried it in, when alerted by the sentry.

  “My friends, you are too kind, expressing your approval like this.” She grasped Dolores’ arm. “My maid here is just one of my countrywomen who has joined the Hornets to support the men. They drive our supply wagons, tend our horses when we deploy as skirmishers and fight as the men do only when necessary. Dolores is just thirteen years old and was rescued, with others, from a troop of French dragoons when she was still only ten.

  She has been my maid since that terrible time, but served at Talavera and has managed to kill five Frenchmen since then.” She paused as Dolores whispered in her ear. “I do apologise, Gentlemen. I cannot watch over this child all the time. The actual number is six and she is determined to bag another three. There were nine dragoons that raped her.”

  The company applauded wildly and the scarlet-faced girl fled, but not before they had all appraised a strong, good-looking, mature woman of more than average height and build, dressed in drab uniform and with a carbine musket slung across her back. She may have been only thirteen, but in experience and skill, she could take her true place in any skirmish line formed by the men.

  The Condesa turned back to the object before her. “Some of you may have seen the granados that we throw on occasion. They are fitted with the latest fulminate of mercury percussion caps and a miniature pistol lock. Cocked by draw cord and triggered by impact when they land. Very dangerous to the thrower in untrained hands.

  This cylinder is a six-inch mortar shell with a similar mechanism that is cocked automatically by the force of the discharge from the mortar and also triggered by the impact when it lands. There is no fuse to be extinguished or cut to length. Explosion occurs on impact, even in soft ground. Perhaps you shall wish to examine it?”

  The guests all made approving noises, but only Colonel Jackman was in a position to take her explanation at other than face value. He examined the shell warily. It was a tube of six-inch diameter that would fit neatly into the short barrel of a mortar, and with four spiral grooves cut along the nine-inch length. The back end was sealed flat and the front end was convex, like half a six-inch cannon ball.

  His face was a picture of frustration. All his instincts urged him to ridicule the whole idea, but with his commander-in-chief looking on approvingly, he realised that his words had to be chosen carefully.

  Then again, he was a professional gunner and had often wondered in the past, how the notoriously fickle mortar shells could be made more reliable.

  He cleared his throat nervously. “I hesitate to give any opinion until I have seen the demonstration that is to be given tomorrow, but I have two questions that shall help satisfy my curiosity.

  Firstly, may I ask the purpose of the spiral grooves along the length of the cylinder?”

  “Certainly, Colonel. They have two purposes: one intentional and the other accidental, but useful. They have only a shallow spiral; about one quarter of a circle; but are cut a quarter of an inch deep and serve the same purpose as the rifling in our weapons. They cause the shell to rotate so that it shall not tumble end over end when fired.”

  “But they cannot engage with the barrel of the mortar. There is not enough…,” he stopped abruptly and looked amazed. “It is the wind that turns the sails of a windmill. Is there indeed enough pressure to act on these very small grooves?”

  “So we have discovered, Colonel. I shall tell you why when you have observed the tests we shall have in the morning. The other, and accidental advantage is that it makes fracture lines in the case and the shell explodes into many small pieces, rather than just two or three.”

  Colonel Jackman became quiet and somewhat withdrawn; thinking about what he had learned. Mercedes had to coax him. “You said you had two questions, Colonel?”

  He came to with a small start. “I am sorry, Your Ladyship. The other one is not important. I was merely wondering how the dome at the front is removed in order to charge the device?”

  She smiled sweetly. “The shell is already charged, Colonel. All that your gunners need to do is load it into the mortar and fire it. It is quite safe until the discharge cocks the internal lock. This does not explode the shell until it hits something. The impact acts as a finger pulling the trigger.”

  The colonel put the shell down very carefully indeed. “You mean that this shell is charged, ready to explode?”

  “It is charged, yes. It needs to be cocked and triggered before it shall explode. That requires it to be loaded in one of your mortars. We may see the results tomorrow, Sir.”

  CHAPTER 9

  By this time, the countryside between Salamanca and Ciudad Rodrigo was becoming very familiar indeed to Hamish MacKay. It was nearly two weeks into the new year of 1812 and the siege of Rodrigo was into its fifth day.

  Lord Wellington had brought up his guns from Almeida and had given the order to start the attack on the 8th of January; the day after Welbeloved had reported that a cavalry reconnaissance party from Salamanca had penetrated to within a mile of the walls, before being faced with double its numbers of the irregular cavalry, commanded by Julian Sanchez, the guerrilla leader.

  Sanchez, with his brigade of horsemen was a complication that neither Welbeloved nor MacKay had taken into account. Although his men were all partisans, they had been trained by Sanchez up to the standard of the regular Spanish cavalry, which indeed, many of them had been before.

  It was even possible, MacKay thought sourly, that their discipline in action was steadier than that of the hot-headed young men leading many of the British regiments of horse.

  He put aside the thought as unworthy; though possibly accurate; moving his horse alongside Sanchez, who was flirting outrageously with Juanita, MacKay’ wife. Juanita was accepting all his advances as if it was her due; something to do with her Spanish upbringing, he thought even more sourly. She had him entirely under control, probably more so than her husband had achieved. He had already had to counter the suggestion that Sanchez should be in command of this joint venture as he had been appointed honorary general of cavalry by the Junta in Cadiz.

  Only when MacKay pointed out that he himself held the actual rank of brigadier general in the Spanish army, was Sanchez’s honour satisfied and he declared himself happy to accept MacKay’s orders.

  Hamish sighed at the thought. From long exposure, he was inured to the question of honour among Spanish officers, but this was the first time he had encountered it in a leader of bandits and brigands, however well disciplined they might be.

  He forced himself to be affable. “Last week, General Sanchez, when you encountered the French reconnaissance party, I understand that they had two squadrons of chasseurs and that they retired hastily when they saw the strength of y
our command. That is so, is it not?”

  Sanchez looked faintly uncomfortable. “That is correct, General MacKay, they turned and hurried back to Salamanca. If we had been able to surprise them, I should have attacked them at once and I am sure that we should have beaten them.”

  That sounded as though he would normally hesitate to tackle French cavalry face to face, even with a two to one advantage. It seemed evident that the enemy had simply declined to tackle such odds on a mere reconnaissance and just walked away.

  His spanish was now very good, but he couldn’t say what he wanted to without risking unwitting offence, or implying that the Spaniards were perhaps a little timid.

  He contented himself with a non-committal “I see!” Then he pointed to the cloud of dust coming out of Salamanca down the main road about four miles away. “The French must have been concerned about your strength, General. This time, my telescope suggests that they have brought some of their friends with them. I estimate them to have at least four squadrons, possibly in case they encounter you again.”

  Sanchez swore and fumbled for his field telescope. MacKay looked at his wife and raised his eyes to heaven, then blew two short blasts on his whistle, summoning Captains Cholmondeley and Colston, both of whom came trotting over.

  “Ye’ve doubtless spotted the enemy ahead, Gentlemen?” He got a grin and a nod from both. “Good! Algy, ye’re senior! Take your companies together wi’out raising tae much dust and get yourselves down ontae the road behind them.

  Percy and Paul shall take their companies into ambush in front o’ them, wi’ Sanchez and his men acting as tethered goats behind their skirmish line. We shall gie them a couple o’ volleys and set Sanchez loose tae drive them back towards you. Dinnae shoot the Spaniards, but make sure that none o’ the Frogs get away.”

  He didn’t wait for questions and both men got their companies moving cautiously, to circle unseen behind the approaching horsemen.