My Favorite Souvenir

by Ward, Penelope

  Zara shook her head. “Well, it’s still gonna have to be forty, because apparently I need to buy a damn hearing aid for when I speak to people on the other side.”

  I peeled two twenties from my billfold and placed them in Zara’s hand. Forty was actually a steal. Hell, I’d have emptied my bank account if she could tell me whether or not Hazel was going to show up tomorrow. It would be worth it to finally get a night of solid sleep.

  Zara tucked the bills into her bra and shut her eyes, holding both hands out to me.

  When I didn’t immediately do anything, she peeked open one eye. “Give me your hands.”

  “Oh. Yeah, sure. Sorry.”

  I sat there watching her in silence for a solid five minutes. Her closed eyes went through a series of different expressions. At one point, her brows and mouth pinched tight, and she looked annoyed. Then a minute later, a smile spread across her face. Eventually, she opened her eyes and let go of my hands.

  I was anxious. “Did you see something stressful?”

  She waved me off. “Nah. I just wanted to hold your hand a little bit. It’s been a long time since a man who looks like you did that.” She twisted in her seat and pulled out a deck of cards from a storage box on a chair next to her. I recognized them as the tarot cards she’d used last time.

  Zara pushed her dreadlocks from her face and flipped over three cards. Studying them, she pointed down to the first two. “We already spoke about your past, so I assume you’re here today to learn about your present and future.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, that would be great.”

  She picked up the middle card and held it to her forehead with her eyes closed for a minute. “You’re lonely,” she said.

  I frowned but nodded.

  Zara leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I can send you to a little place on the other side of town. Tell them Zara sent you, and for fifty bucks you won’t be lonely anymore.”

  I chuckled. “That’s okay. I think I’m good.”

  She set down the middle card and picked up the next one, again holding it to her forehead for a moment. “Your pussy doesn’t want a new friend.”

  My brows drew together. “Excuse me?”

  “You do have a cat, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, he is not going to like his new friend.”

  “Who’s his new friend?”

  “How should I know? I’m just telling you what’s coming to me.”

  “Okay, okay.” Might that mean Hazel is coming? My cat didn’t exactly love her the first time they met. Maybe that’s a positive sign?

  “And the apple you’ll be looking for? It’s in the trunk of the car.”

  “The apple? That’s what you see? I’m going to misplace a piece of fruit?”

  “Hey,” Zara snapped. “Don’t get pissy with the messenger.”

  I dragged a hand through my hair. “Yeah, you’re right, sorry. I’m just anxious.”

  “You’re anxious about the girl you were here with last time? The redhead?”

  My pulse started to race. “Yeah. What do you see about her?”

  Zara closed her eyes tightly for moment, and then opened them. “Nothing. Sorry. I’m not seeing her at all.”

  My heart sank into my stomach.

  “But I do see something else,” Zara said. “Are you into astrology, by any chance?”

  I shook my head.

  “Is your birthday in May, or maybe a woman in your life has a birthday in May?”

  I shook my head again.

  “I’m seeing a bull. But not just any bull. It’s the kind they use in those astrology charts to represent people born under the Taurus sign.”

  I racked my brain for any kind of a connection to the month of May or astrology, but came up empty.

  Seeing my face, Zara frowned. “Look, kid. Normally I’d make up some bullshit like you’re going to meet your future wife next Wednesday, or tell you I see a breakup in your future when nothing exciting is coming to me. But you don’t strike me as someone who wants to hear that crap.”

  I smiled sadly. “I’m not. I appreciate you trying, Zara.”

  “No problem, sweetheart.” She reached over into the storage box where she’d pulled out her tarot cards and took out something else. Extending what looked like a business card to me, she said, “This is a half-off coupon for the place I mentioned earlier that could help you get rid of your loneliness. Just in case you change your mind.”

  I shook my head and stood. “Hold onto that for me, Zara. I may be back to take it tomorrow night.”

  Chapter 32

  * * *

  Matteo

  Wandering the French Quarter in the morning as the sun came up was an interesting experience, like a surreal calm after a storm. Pretty sure some of the people passing by me hadn’t even gone to sleep yet; some still seemed drunk.

  Then you had the older couples slowly strolling along, looking for a place to eat breakfast as the sound of a street performer’s clarinet played somewhere in the distance. The cleaning trucks were out, attempting to wash away the sins of the night before. And early-morning commuters rode by on their bikes. The city was waking up, and I longed for Hazel to be here with me, so we could wander these streets together.

  To anyone else here, it was like any other morning in New Orleans. But for me? It was the start of a day that would dictate the rest of my life—a day that would inevitably mean the difference between a hopeful future or an irreparable broken heart.

  I stopped at a café and ordered two powdered beignets and some coffee. As delicious as they were, my stomach felt unsettled, so I wasn’t able to eat them. I couldn’t stop thinking about tonight.

  Given that Hazel hadn’t reached out to me in a month and a half, if I were a betting man, I’d say she wasn’t coming. But wild horses still couldn’t have kept me away on the off-chance she did show.

  The longer Hazel and I were apart, the more I missed what we had. But she’d lost a certain amount of trust in me that I might never be able to earn back. I just had to hope that whatever was meant to happen would.

  • • •

  I’d spent the day trying my best to pass the time before the flight I’d booked for Hazel was set to arrive. Nothing could stop the preoccupation in my mind, though.

  As it got closer to late afternoon, my nerves were going haywire.

  Around 4PM, I went back to the hotel room and did my best to occupy myself: taking a shower, watching HBO, eating mindlessly out of the mini bar. There was only so much I could do. I didn’t want to leave the room. I couldn’t risk something happening that would delay my getting back by the time she was supposed to show.

  I shut off the television at about 5:45 and started to pace.

  When the clock finally struck six, I decided to log onto the airport’s website and check the status of the flight.

  LANDED.

  My heart raced as I stared at that word.

  LANDED.

  This was it; she was either here or she wasn’t. There was no turning back now.

  The minutes after that crawled. I estimated it would take her at least an hour to get her luggage and get from the airport to the hotel.

  So when seven o’clock rolled around, my forehead started to sweat. I stood at the window, as if being closer to the outside world was going to somehow make her magically appear.

  When seven thirty hit, my heart sank.

  And the half-hour until eight was probably the most excruciating, because eight o’clock was the time I’d internally decided to give up on any chance of her showing. I’d told the registration desk to expect her, instructing them to give her a key so she could come right up to the room. I toyed with the idea of calling downstairs to make sure there wasn’t a mix-up, that she wasn’t waiting for me down there. But who was I kidding? If she were here and unable to check in, someone would’ve called me. She would’ve called me. So, no. Calling the front desk wasn’t going to help this hopeless situation.

&n
bsp; I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It was time I started accepting the fact that Hazel wasn’t coming. That hurt like a motherfucker. And the more it started to set in, the more I just couldn’t accept it. Losing Brady as a friend was one thing. That sucked, and the way things had ended with us was something I’d always regret. But Hazel was the love of my life.

  The love of my life.

  Wow.

  It felt strange to acknowledge that now—when it was apparently too late. I’d loved Zoe deeply. And maybe it wasn’t fair to compare my feelings for Zoe with how I felt about Hazel. They’re two different people, and my love for each of them was unique. But I felt like Hazel was the person I was meant to be with. And losing her made me realize just how much I did love her. It felt like she was holding a part of me I’d never get back.

  I forced myself up to a sitting position. I must have sat at the edge of the bed with my head in my hands for an hour straight.

  Then something happened. A surge of adrenaline seemed to come out of nowhere—an inner strength powered by love.

  No fucking way you’re giving up like this.

  Grow some balls and go get your woman back.

  In that moment, I started to gather my things in a hurry, pretty sure I was about to head to the airport and ask for the first flight to Connecticut or New York City.

  I wasn’t going to give up on us until I had a chance to explain my rationale for not telling her about Brady’s cheating. I owed it to her and myself to make sure she understood where I’d been coming from, and that I never meant to hurt her. And if she still couldn’t trust me, at least I’d know I’d done everything I could.

  I’d just gathered all of my stuff when there was a knock at the door.

  I rushed to see who it was.

  When I opened, the sight of her nearly knocked me on my ass.

  Hazel.

  She looked tired, disheveled, and was…holding a kitten?

  Why?

  I didn’t care. I stood there in awe, filled with hope.

  Because goddammit, she was here. My Hazel was here.

  Still in utter disbelief, my words came out in a whisper. “You’re here.”

  She nodded silently, still clutching the kitten.

  What the hell?

  After she set the kitten down on the rug, I pulled her into my arms.

  I spoke into her hair. “I was just about to leave. Thank God I didn’t.”

  “Where were you going?”

  “To Connecticut. To you.”

  I wiped a tear from her eye. She looked drained.

  “What happened to you, Hazel?”

  “It’s a long story. Can you kiss me first?”

  “Fuck yes, I can.”

  I couldn’t take her mouth fast enough, letting out an exasperated breath that she likely felt at the back of her throat. With each second that passed as I devoured her lips, I realized it didn’t matter why she was late, why there was a random kitten here, or why her hair looked like she’d been electrocuted.

  I was just happy to have her in my arms. That was all that mattered.

  As I lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around my waist. And I got the sudden urge to carry her over to the wall.

  She worked to unbuckle my pants as I slid hers down. Within seconds, I’d moved her panties to the side and pushed myself into her beautiful, warm pussy. Hazel raked her fingers through my hair as we fucked against the wall in a primal frenzy. As I rocked into her, it felt like I was letting out all of the tension and fear that had built up inside of me over the past twenty-four hours.

  When I felt her muscles squeeze against my cock, I let go, holding the back of her head in the palm of my hand to protect it as I came hard inside of her. It was the fastest sex we’d ever had, but probably the most intense orgasm of my life.

  “I love you so much, Hazel,” I said, panting as I looked down at her.

  “I love you, too, Matteo. I thought I’d never get here in time to tell you. And Happy Valentine’s Day. I bought you something, but I realized when I got to the airport that I’d forgotten to pack it. I guess today has been one screw up after the next.”

  I pushed the hair from her face. “There’s nothing you could give me better than the gift you just did—your heart. Happy Valentine’s Day, my love.”

  When the kitten meowed, that was my cue to slowly put Hazel down. She escaped to the bathroom as I tucked myself back into my pants and the kitten circled my legs. It still felt surreal.

  When Hazel reemerged, I held out my hand, leading her over to the bed. She rested her head on my chest as she started to explain things.

  “I missed my flight. There was a huge traffic backup due to construction on 95. So even though I left for the airport several hours early, I didn’t make it in time. And the only flight that would get me here at a reasonable hour was one that landed at an airport a few hundred miles away from here.”

  My eyes widened. “You drove part of the way here? Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve left earlier and met you.”

  She sighed. “Well, for one, my phone died on the plane.”

  “Shit.”

  “As soon as I landed and got a rental car, I drove to a gas station to get a charger, but after I took off from there, I got a flat before my phone could charge up.”

  Shit.

  “Oh, baby. I’m sorry.” I kissed her head.

  Getting teary eyed again, she continued, “I didn’t want to wait on the side of the road. Since I wasn’t that far away from the gas station, I drove back there again on the bad tire. While I was getting it changed, this adorable stray kitten appeared out of nowhere. The mechanic told me the mother had abandoned a bunch of her litter. She was weaving in and out of my legs and actually really helped calm me down, because by that time, I was freaking out.” She wiped her eyes. “I couldn’t just leave her. So I took her with me and drove off.”

  “And you drove straight here?”

  She shook her head. “That’s not exactly what happened. About twenty minutes into my drive, I realized my phone was missing. I assumed I’d left it back at the gas station when I was getting my tire changed.”

  I cringed. “Hazel, this story is crazier than the entire last three months put together.”

  “It gets better.” She sniffled and laughed a little. “I was never able to find my phone at the gas station, so I drove all the way here with no phone.”

  “Jesus.”

  “But when I went to get my luggage out of the trunk just now, there was my phone. I must have dropped it there when I was looking for the spare tire at the gas station.”

  As soon as she said that, the craziest realization hit. “Holy crap.” Trunk.

  “What?”

  “I came to town a day early. One of the things I did to pass the time was visit that psychic, Zara. She told me something that made absolutely no sense until now.”

  “Uh-oh. What?”

  “She told me an apple I’d be looking for was in the trunk of the car. I was thinking red apple, like the fruit. Now I realize she was seeing the Apple phone in your damn trunk.”

  She chuckled. “It was no more an apple than I am a hazelnut, apparently.”

  “No shit. This is crazy.”

  “What else did she say?”

  I scratched my head trying to remember. “Something about a bull…like the one that represents the Taurus sign. You didn’t stop at a saloon on the way here and ride one of those mechanical bulls, did you?”

  Her eyes moved from side to side as she pondered. “You said Taurus? My rental car is a Taurus.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, mystery solved.”

  The kitten jumped onto the bed and landed at our feet.

  I placed my hand on Hazel’s cheek and stared into her eyes. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  She breathed in deeply. “It took me a while to get to this place—both literally and figuratively. Even though in my heart I knew you weren’t keeping that inf
ormation from me to be malicious, it really hurt.”

  Her words squeezed at my chest. “I know. What I did was selfish. But I need you to know that I always planned to tell you. If you’d chosen to be with Brady, I wouldn’t have let you make that decision without divulging what I knew. But I just…” I paused to gather my thoughts. “I needed to know that you chose me because you loved me and not because you felt betrayed by him.”

  Her eyes softened. “I would always have chosen you. The choice was made the moment I laid eyes on you again at that bar in New York, when I saw the hurt on your face and realized that I meant as much to you as you’d meant to me. And I’ve fallen more deeply in love with you each moment we’ve been together since. I love you so much, Matteo Duncan. I really do.”

  Holding her close, I spoke into the nape of her neck. “I’m never letting you go again.”

  “Good. Because I have no plans to go back to Connecticut.”

  I moved back to look at her. “What?”

  She bit her lip. “If you’ll have me, I want to come to Seattle with you.”

  “What about your job?”

  Hazel shrugged. “My love was never school photography. I want to follow my love—and that’s you. I’ll find freelance work. Ever since our road trip, I’ve been trying to figure out how to build the life I truly want, and being tied down to that business was a deterrent. I’d been thinking about selling it for a while. Felicity and her husband are happy to take it over. She was excited.”

  Wow. This felt like a dream

  “What about Abbott the Rabbit?” I asked.

  Hazel looked down and her lips started to quiver. “Abbott…died.”

  Oh no.

  My stomach sank. “What?”

  “They think she had a heart attack. They say sometimes a loud noise can startle a rabbit to death. I came home one day and...found her lying there. I still don’t know what happened.” She began to cry.

  My heart broke for her. “When was this?”

  Wiping her eyes, she said, “A few weeks ago.”

  “I’m so sorry, sweetheart, that I wasn’t there for you when it happened.”

  She sniffled. “Thank you. It made these past several weeks apart from you even harder. But Abbott’s dying was really the thing that solidified my decision to give up my life in Connecticut. Life is too short to waste it with people you’re not passionate about or doing something you’re not passionate about. And right now…I’m passionate about doing you.”