by Karli Perrin
“You know what I said.”
“Does the baby even have ears?”
I suppress a laugh as I walk into the kitchen. Spencer follows closely behind. “How are you feeling now?” he asks.
I look down at my ankle. “Not bad. I think I’m getting ready for some more painkillers though.”
“I wasn’t talking about your foot.”
“Oh.” I lean up against the counter.
“How are you feeling about the news?”
“Much better, thanks to you. Sometimes I just need a distraction to stop my mind from getting carried away.”
“Is that what I am to you? A distraction?”
“Yes. Well, no. Wait. I didn’t mean it like that…” I sigh, confused by all of the different emotions I’m feeling. “You’re not just a distraction to me.”
He takes a step closer. “I can be whatever you need me to be, Cora. No pressure. No expectations. No strings attached. If you need a distraction, I can be your distraction.” He takes another step closer. “Tell me what you need. Tell me what you want.”
I swallow hard and finally admit what I’ve been trying my best to ignore. “I want you.”
He leans in and his lips barely brush mine when we’re interrupted by a loud thud. Spencer takes a step back and I spot the groceries on the kitchen table.
Adam raises an eyebrow. “You know what I want? For someone to help me put the groceries away.” He pulls out a bottle of Diet Coke. “I thought you were getting a drink, Cor? Did you think his mouth was the faucet or something? I can see why. All of the spit…”
“Shouldn’t you be rubbing Connie’s feet or something?” Spencer jokes.
“She’s hungry so I’m going to cook her dinner.” He walks over to the refrigerator and opens it, pointing inside. “This is where the drinks are kept, just in case you’ve forgotten.”
I hold up my middle finger. “This is where my middle finger is kept, just in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Am I cooking for two or four?”
“Don’t you mean three or five?” I ask. “Connie’s eating for two now, remember?”
“Oh, damn. It’s scary when you put it like that.”
Spencer walks over to Adam and pats him on the back. “You’re going to be fine.”
I love how positive he is. I feel like I could throw anything at him, and he would always choose to look on the bright side. Except for when it comes to my amnesia, of course. There is no bright side. Only darkness.
“Thanks, Spence.” He winks. “Are you staying for dinner? Connie didn’t know what time you guys were leaving.”
“We’re going to set off in a minute,” I tell him. “Spencer has work in the morning.”
“I told her I’m more than happy taking a sick day, but she won’t let me.”
“You’re not taking a sick day for me.”
“Wait a second,” Adam says, holding his hand up. “Who said it would be for you? Maybe he would be doing it for me.”
“Does somebody have a little man crush?”
“Hell yeah, I do. Have you seen him?”
I turn to Spencer. “I’m not sure I could ever bring you again. Connie might start getting jealous.”
“Connie or Cora?” Adam asks.
“Connie. Speaking of which, I’m going to find her before we leave. Have fun braiding each other’s hair in here.”
I leave the room but stop just outside the door. I hear Adam laugh. “Dude, I’m sorry I cockblocked you like that. How’s it going between you two? I mean, it looks like it’s going well…”
“Yeah, it is, I think. She has her walls up though.”
“Then knock them down. She’s worth it.”
“I already know she is.”
I can’t help but smile.
“Just make sure she doesn’t get hurt while you’re swinging your hammer around.”
“My hammer? Oh, are you talking about the XXL condoms again?”
“Dude, no. Why would your mind even go there?”
Spencer chuckles. “It was the way you said swinging my hammer around…”
“Because I told you to knock her walls down!”
I’m still giggling as I find Connie on the patio. Her face lights up when she sees me. “Hey. What’s so funny?”
“Those two. I can’t believe how well they’re getting on. Adam is totally crushing on Spencer.”
“You know Adam - he loves a bromance. I’d probably be jealous if Spencer wasn’t in love with you.”
My stomach flips. “What did you just say?”
She shrugs, trying to play it down. “It’s so obvious.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“I see the way he looks at you.”
“So he’s attracted to me. That doesn’t mean he’s in love with me. Jesus, Con. I’ve only known him for a few days. You were right about your hormones.”
“I started to fall for Adam the first night I met him.”
“Yeah, and you were drunk.”
“I was tipsy.”
“You were telling your friends you were going to marry him within an hour of meeting him.”
“Exactly! That’s my whole point!” She waves her engagement ring in my face. “I knew he was the one for me straight away. I was tipsy but I still knew.”
“Well that was different. I’m not going to marry Spencer.”
“Why not?”
My eyes widen. “Stop right now, you crazy pregnant lady! If only you could hear yourself.”
“Can I be honest with you?”
“No, you can’t.”
“Well I’m going to say it anyway. You won’t find anyone as good as Spencer, and you know it.” I pull my cell out of my pocket. “What are you doing?” she asks me.
“Googling when your hormones will go back to normal.”
“Cor, I’m trying to be serious here.”
“So am I! Oh, great…”
“What?”
“Apparently they never go back to normal. Awesome.”
“I think it’s easier for you to push people away now because the accident wasn’t that long ago. It’s easier to stand your ground. But what happens five years down the line when you’re lonely?”
I look down at my feet. “I won’t be lonely. Time is what makes people lonely, and I don’t have that. I’ll never realize what I’m missing out on.”
Lies. The truth is that I’m lonely now, but I’d rather be lonely and alone than be lonely in a relationship. Imagine waking up and not remembering you have a boyfriend? Now that would be lonely.
“I think you’re in denial. One day you’ll be ready to give it a shot with someone. I really hope you don’t push Spencer away before then.”
“You’re talking as though Spencer will always be around. He’s probably going to run a mile when I tell him about my amnesia.”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
I wrap an arm around her. “Don’t worry about me, I can look after myself. You have the baby to think about now.”
“I can worry about both of you.”
“No. Worrying isn’t good for anyone. Concentrate on being happy and healthy.”
“Take your own advice.”
“Have you got any ideas for names yet?” I ask, changing the subject.
She laughs. “Adam’s convinced that it’s a boy and keeps calling him Zeus.”
“Zeus?! So he’s basically picked the most powerful person he could think of…”
“Pretty much. First it was Rocky and now it’s Zeus.”
“Rocky? As in Rocky Balboa?” She nods. “It’s probably a good thing that our side of the family is full of women.”
“Right?!”
“What about girl names?”
“Well…we’ve had a couple of talks about it, and we both like Coralie.”
My eyes fill with tears. “No way! Are you being serious?”
“I think it’s perfect and Adam agrees. You know he’s always thought of yo
u as his little sister. You’re so special to both of us, Cor.”
I use my sleeve to wipe away my tears. “Oh my god, your hormones are rubbing off on me. I need to leave ASAP!”
“Not again,” Adam says as he walks out onto the porch. “I’m starting to take it personally now.”
I laugh. “It’s practice for when the baby is here, crying all of the time…”
“My baby won’t cry,” he replies.
Spencer joins us, carrying our bags. He smiles softly. “Are you ready to leave or do you need more time?”
“I’m ready.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.” I smile at Connie and give her a big hug. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”
“Stick it in your scrapbook,” she whispers, as she hands me an ultrasound photo.
I start to cry again. “It’s a real baby!”
“As opposed to a fake one?” Adam jokes.
“I thought it was going to be a blob. It’s so clear. It has your button nose, Con. Right, I’m leaving before I turn into a big ball of snot.”
“Too late,” Adam replies.
I give Connie one last hug before throwing a pillow at Adam’s head. “Look after her, or you’ll have me to deal with.” I flex my (non-existent) biceps.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Connie hugs Spencer and I laugh when she gives him the exact same warning.
Chapter Fifteen
I wave at Connie and Adam until they become little blurry dots, then I lean back in my chair and sigh.
“Is that a happy sigh or a sad sigh?” Spencer asks, glancing over at me. The fact that he cares speaks volumes.
“A little bit of both, but mostly happy.”
“Say the word and I’ll turn back around.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“Am I tempting you?”
“Yes,” I answer honestly, and it has nothing to do with turning the car around.
He smiles. “Good.”
Cue the butterflies.
“I would love to stay longer but we have to get back to real life,” I say, getting back on track. “Roxy will be so lonely without us. I bet she’s twiddling her thumbs waiting for us to get back.” A blatant lie. She’s always busy and is signed up to about ten different classes at her gym. Zumba, spin, yoga, pilates, boxercise - you name it, she does it. I, on the other hand, have signed up to about ten different streaming services. There’s Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, Apple TV and Passionflix, to name but a few. She may be able to plank longer than me, but can she tell me if Jane Gloriana Villanueva ends up with Michael or Rafael? Can she tell me if Piper Chapman has finished serving her time behind bars?
I don’t think so.
He waves me away. “She has Verity.”
“Ah, yes. Have you arranged to take her on a date yet?”
“Not yet.” He winks. “There’s a chance she might say no.”
“I doubt it.” I look out of the window and bite my lip in an attempt to stop myself from saying what’s on my mind. I fail after about three seconds. “What about Rosalie?”
“What about her?” he asks.
“Have you arranged to take her on a date yet?”
“No.”
“Are you going to?”
He smiles. “Would it bother you?”
“No,” I reply, far too quickly. I shrug. “Date whoever you like.”
“I like you.”
“And I don’t date.”
“I know, you keep telling me. But you’re the only person I’m interested in, so can you see my dilemma?” I don’t answer. “Have you ever wanted something that you can’t have?”
“Yes.” You.
“It only makes you want it more, right?”
“I guess so.”
“So, here’s my theory...”
“Oh, here we go.”
“Hear me out, it’s a good one. My theory is that you should stop telling me that you don’t date and that you’re not interested. You should just come on a couple of dates with me in the hope that I’ll lose interest.”
“And will you lose interest?”
“Who knows? It’s just a theory. But if you want me to stop liking you, then it’s worth a try, don’t you think?”
“Who said I wanted you to stop liking me?”
“Well, don’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
He chuckles. “You confuse the shit out of me, Cora.”
“Right back at you.”
“I don’t know if you noticed back there, but your family loves me...”
I laugh. “Of course I noticed. Adam was all over you.”
“He’s a good guy, and your sister said that I’m welcome back anytime.”
“Oh, did she now?” Traitor.
“Yep. So I’m actually thinking of visiting again in a few weeks, if you’re up for another road trip?”
“I can’t believe you’re going to steal my family.”
More chuckling. “I’m not going to steal them. I’m just going to share them. You’re free to share mine too.”
I thought I would be more upset leaving my sister, but I lean my head back and smile, because I have reason to.
He’s sitting right next to me.
***
My eyes open slowly, and I smile when the first thing I see is Spencer.
“There’s that smile,” he says, before reaching over and stroking his thumb over my lips. It’s such a familiar gesture, and since I crave familiarity these days, I lean into his touch.
“Am I dreaming?” I ask sleepily.
He smiles. “It feels like a dream, doesn’t it?”
“Where are we?” I ask, looking around.
“Home.”
Disappointment courses through me when I realize that our little weekend adventure is over. He’s looking at me as though I’m something he’s dreamed up, and I don’t want this moment to end. “You look tired.”
He laughs and rubs his eyes. “Thanks.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. You’ve had a long drive. You must be tired. Do you…I mean…would you…”
“Would I…?”
“Would you like to come inside?”
A slow smile spreads across his face. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I feel his eyes on me as I clumsily fish my keys out of my bag. “Got them,” I say, holding them up. He climbs out of the car and I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Why do I feel so damn nervous all of a sudden?
He walks around to my side and opens the door like the true gentleman that he is. I get butterflies when he takes hold of my hand and laces his fingers through mine. It’s a perfect fit.
I start to question whether I’m doing the right thing as we walk up to my door, but I’m tired of fighting temptation. There’s so much sexual tension between us, maybe we just need to get it out of our system so that we can both carry on with our lives.
I swear my hands are shaking as I unlock the door, and by the time it closes behind us, my entire body is pulsating with nervous energy. I flip the lights on and then we look at each other as if to say, now what?
“Look,” I say, at the exact same time that he says, “Cora, I…” I gesture to him. “Sorry, go on.”
“No. You go first.”
“I think we both know what’s about to happen, but I meant it when I said I’m not looking to date anybody.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Yeah. I can help with that. If I see any guys showing an interest in you, I’ll get rid of them for you.”
I roll my eyes but can’t help but laugh. “Oh, thank you so much. How chivalrous of you.”
His gaze falls to my mouth. “You’re welcome.”
“You’ve already said that I confuse you. I don’t want to make the situation any worse. This is purely physical.”
He raises an eyebrow. “And there’s me thinking that you were inviting me in for a warm drink...”
&nbs
p; Oh. I blush. “Of course…a drink…yeah…we don’t have to…you can just…”
He closes the gap between us and takes my face in his hands. The look in his eyes is so intense that I need to close my own. How am I supposed to make sure that this is just a physical thing when he’s looking at me like I mean so much to him? His lips crash against mine and it awakens something deep inside of me. In this moment, my amnesia doesn’t matter anymore. It doesn’t even exist. Nothing does, except for us. This kiss is different to our others. This one is desperate. Dizzying. Dangerous.
He pushes me up against the wall and our hands are everywhere. I lift his t-shirt up and whimper when I see how perfectly chiseled he is. Maybe I should put it back on. Why is everything about him so goddamn irresistible? He pulls my neck to the side and places gentle kisses along my collarbone. He works his way down and teases my nipples through my t-shirt, first with his fingers, then with his mouth. I throw my head pack when he begins to suck on one. My body is so sensitive and responsive to him, god only knows what it will feel like on bare skin. I don’t have to wait long to find out as a few seconds later, my t-shirt joins his on the floor. He takes a deep breath and looks like he’s trying to compose himself before reaching around and undoing my bra. “Holy shit,” he says, as it drops to the floor. “I want to take my time with you…but I’m not sure I can this time.”
This time.
“Good, because I’m very impatient.”
He drops to his knees and slowly unzips my jeans, maintaining eye contact with me the whole time. He pulls them down and helps me to step out of them. “We don’t need another sprained ankle. Speaking of which, how’s it feeling? Do you need to lay down?”
“Fuck my ankle,” I say, running my hands through his messy hair.
He laughs. “I was hoping to fuck something else instead…”
“Then do it.”
He gently pushes my legs apart and moves my panties to the side. I’m practically panting in anticipation as he leans forward and gives a quick flick of his tongue. I almost have an orgasm right there and then from just one little lick. He’s teasing me. Testing me.
“Again,” I order.
And so he does, but slower this time. When he reaches my clit, he begins to suck.
“Oh,” I say, gripping onto his hair even tighter. “Oh, wow.” I gasp when he pushes two fingers inside of me. His fingers and mouth work in unison, and when he increases the pace, I feel a familiar build-up of pressure.