Grey Magic and Binding Deceptions (Grey Witch Book 3)

by Cece Rose

  Though, maybe I do still have one around I could talk to… even if things are a little awkward right now.

  Eight

  Shoulder To Lean On

  “Can I come in?” I ask nervously, fidgeting as I stare at Kier through the doorway. The ridiculous prickling sensation has returned, but I try my best to ignore it, giving him an awkward smile.

  “Of course.” He steps aside and ushers me in.

  I head straight for the living room and take a seat on the sofa. Kier follows behind me, sitting down on the far end of the same sofa, and turns to face me. Where the hell should I begin? Rhydian, my magic, how it all really works?

  “I got some of my magic back by sleeping with Darren, I summoned the demon again, and Rhydian is an asshole,” I blurt. Might as well get it all out at once. Well, the things I can tell him anyway. An uncomfortable expression crosses Kier’s face, but I continue regardless, needing to finish explaining this to him. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. The magic returning, not the sex I mean. Or the demon summoning or Rhydian being an ass.” I cringe. Why the hell am I so bad at this? “So, anyway, now I need to find another way to make this work for the rest of you. I mean, please take no offence in this, but I can’t have sex with all of you.”

  “Well, that would be a little awkward considering your new relationship,” Kier comments, exhibiting far more diplomacy than I, after a brief, but insanely awkward pause.

  “Please tell me you’ve had some luck looking into this?” I plead, looking at him with wide eyes.

  “I wish I could, Harlow. I do.” He sighs and runs a hand through his messy, blond hair. “But I haven’t found anything about this damn ritual anywhere, and I don’t know what to suggest.”

  “What would you do?” I ask him. “Please be honest.”

  “Honestly? I couldn’t live without my magic. I’d do whatever it took to get my magic back,” he responds with no hesitation.

  “What if you were with someone?” I press, seeing as he hadn’t specified. I find it hard to believe someone could find it so easy to do such a thing.

  “I guess it would depend on the nature of the relationship,” Kier answers. “It’s impossible to know how I’d react, as every relationship is different. I’d inevitably have a different opinion on the situation depending on who I was with. And how they felt about it would come into consideration too, of course.”

  “How can you be so logical about this?” I rest my head against my hands, rubbing at my temples.

  “It’s easy to be logical from the outside.”

  “But you’re not exactly on the outside, are you?” I retort, turning to give him a knowing look.

  “I guess I’m not, but it’s your call. Whatever you want to do, I’m in. I’ll keep looking for another way while you think about things,” Kier responds casually, as if he didn’t just imply he’d be willing to sleep with me if that’s what I wanted to do. I try and ignore the images that pop in my head from the thought, but it’s like my own brain wants to betray me.

  I’d assumed Rhydian would scramble to volunteer, being that he’s Rhydian. And that Solas would oblige because of our deal, not that I’d ever take him up on it. But Kier... I wasn’t sure at all how he’d react to this, and now he went and just threw it out there. A small sigh escapes my lips.

  “Have you spoken to Darren about this yet?” Kier asks quietly.

  “No.” I groan. “How could I? He’s kind of the jealous type.”

  “You can’t just ignore this and hope it’ll go away, Harlow. You’ve got to deal with this exactly like you dealt with so much else, by tackling it head on.” He shifts on the sofa, sliding closer to me. “Just try and talk to him. Maybe it’ll go better than you think? You weren’t afraid to tell me how it is, don’t be so scared to tell him. It’s obvious he cares a lot for you. He’ll at least try to understand.”

  “I need you to move back,” I whisper, my voice strained. He complies immediately.

  “I can’t even sit next to you now, huh?” he questions in a clipped tone.

  “It’s not like that,” I reply, letting out a relieved breath when it doesn’t hurt as he moves away. The feeling remains, but it’s less intense than it felt when Rhydian left before. Maybe it’s getting better?

  “What’s wrong?” Kier demands.

  “Don’t sound so concerned,” I mumble, brushing him off.

  “Kayla,” he drawls out my name with an authoritative command, making me roll my eyes at him.

  “It’s a side effect of you holding part of my magic. I can feel my magic in both of us right now, and it keeps trying to reach out and reconnect. Now you know how it works, I’m sure you can imagine how that would be uncomfortable for me,” I explain, feeling my cheeks flush from the embarrassment.

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah... so if you could stay over there?” I request, giving him a small smile.

  “Of course. Anything. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable,” Kier apologises.

  “You don’t need to say you’re sorry,” I mutter. “The only one that should be sorry about this whole mess isn’t capable of it.”

  “Hey, I’m sure Rhydian is capable of some feelings,” Kier jokes, catching me by surprise. A laugh catches in my throat, and I cough, looking at the amusement in Kier’s blue eyes.

  “In all seriousness, this is one mess Rhydian can’t be blamed for.” I laugh again, feeling some relief with the sound. “This one’s all on me. I’m the one who messed around with summoning a demon, and now, all of us are paying the price.”

  “Harlow, I don’t blame you for this, and I know they don’t either. You made a mistake summoning a demon, sure, but everyone makes mistakes.” He reaches out a hand towards me, before catching himself and pulling it back, quickly looking away.

  “That doesn’t change the fact that I caused this. The demon’s right; I am the cause of my own misery.” I let myself flop right back against the sofa and throw an arm over my eyes to block out the light.

  “Demons are meant to say stupid shit like that, don’t listen to it,” Kier insists.

  “Don’t try to make me feel better,” I whine.

  “Why not?” he asks.

  “Because I’m a terrible person.”

  “No, this mopey, ‘there’s no hope’ attitude is what’s terrible. This isn’t you,” Kier says firmly.

  “I’m just a little lost,” I admit, sitting upright again. “I’m going to go and talk to Darren. You’re right, avoiding my problems isn’t going to help. I need to tell him about the magic… and my fake engagement to Rhydian. This is going to be a hell of a conversation.”

  “Wait, can you just rewind a second? Did you just say fake engagement to Rhydian?” Kier requests in a disbelieving tone.

  “It’s a long story. I told you he was an asshole.”

  “Is it ever not a long story with you?”

  “Well, there was the time me and my first boyfriend lost our virginities together. That wasn’t long in any sense,” I quip sarcastically. Kier laughs, and I join him, the sound too infectious to resist.

  “What are you going to say to him?” he asks once we fall silent again.

  “That I got my magic back from him, so now I know of one way to get it back. I’ll also explain that we’re all still searching for a sex-free alternative to retrieve it from the rest of you. Oh, and I need to ask if he’s okay with me pretending to be Rhydian’s fiancée. So that should be so much fun on top of all the other awkwardness that’s about to commence.”

  I turn to Kier, finding myself unable to resist running my eyes over every visible inch of him. If I wasn’t with Darren, if he wasn’t a black witch, if a million different variables were different and aligned just right, maybe I wouldn’t be so resistant to the idea of having sex with him to get my magic back.

  “You’ve got this,” he reassures me.

  “I should probably go. I don’t know why I even came here in the first place. I’m sorry for bothering yo
u. I should have just messaged you or something to talk.” I stand, waiting around awkwardly for a moment, not quite ready to leave, despite knowing that I should.

  “Let me see you out,” he offers, getting up and heading towards the front door. He makes sure to stay at least an arm’s length away from me, and I try to reassure myself that he’s doing that to help me, not because he actually wants to avoid me.

  We reach the door without speaking another word, he pulls it open, and I step past him to get outside, feeling my magic rush to the surface as I move just a little too close. I hear a surprised sound come from Kier and freeze, turning to look at him.

  “Did you feel that this time?” I ask him slowly.

  “I felt something. It was like a pressure under my skin almost, like something trying to escape. It was only for a second,” he tells me.

  “It doesn’t quite feel like that to me, but I guess it’s because we’re on different sides of the magic push and pull,” I muse aloud. I go to step fully outside and can’t bring myself to, not yet. “I probably shouldn’t do this because of the weird magic thing, but thank you for talking this out with me. You don’t know how much it helped just having a friend right now.” I step forward and wrap my arms around him in what I expect to be an awkward hug, but he immediately returns the embrace. I breathe in, unable to stop the contented sigh that escapes me after.

  “Anytime,” he responds after a few moments, pulling away. I pull back too, already regretting my choice to embrace him when the prickling sensation gets worse as he moves further away from me.

  I force another smile, then make myself turn and walk away. Each step feels uncomfortable, almost unnatural even, like I’m fighting myself.

  Nine

  Truth & Love

  “You survived whatever chaos Rhydian had planned then?” Darren questions teasingly in greeting as he opens the door. He somehow managed to pull it open before I’d even knocked. It’s nearly impossible to sneak up on a shifter.

  “Physically at least,” I retort, sliding past him and letting myself inside.

  “That bad, huh? What did he have you do?” Darren asks, following me into the living area. I stay standing, too nervous to sit down right now.

  “It’s complicated. And there’s something else I should explain first...” I trail off, biting my lip.

  How am I meant to word this? How do I make him understand that I didn’t mean for any of this to happen?

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, suddenly getting more serious as he comes to stand beside me.

  “I have some of my magic back,” I answer nervously.

  “Isn’t that a good thing?” he questions me, frowning in confusion.

  “It’s how I got it back that’s the problem. It means I won’t be able to use the same method for everyone else, so I have to find another way still,” I explain, still hesitating to give the reason for why I can’t do the same thing for all of them.

  “Why can’t you do whatever you did again?” he prods gently.

  “Because the magic that I got back was from you, and I got it back the same night as you took it for me,” I answer, watching his face for signs of understanding.

  “You can’t be suggesting that us having sex is what got you your magic back? That’s ridiculous,” Darren comments, looking a little bewildered at the thought of magic being able to work in such a way.

  “Old spells like that can work in weird, awkward ways,” I offer in explanation, but honestly, I understand his confusion. “I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I was just worried that you would be upset with me for getting you into another mess. It’s becoming a bit of a habit.”

  I hate how true what I’m saying is. It feels like a never-ending cycle of getting caught in problems, and I can’t see a way out.

  “It’s okay, Kayla,” Darren says softly, taking me by surprise as he grabs my hands, holding them tightly in his. “You didn’t ask for this, I know that,” he adds reassuringly, looking down at me with his big brown eyes, and my heart melts a little. I move forward and let my arms dart around him.

  “Why am I such an idiot?” I ask him sarcastically.

  “What form do you want my answer in? A sentence or an essay?” Darren teases. I smack him playfully on the shoulder.

  “Don’t be a dick. You were being so nice,” I remind him back in just as playful a tone, before pressing a light kiss to his neck.

  “Don’t distract me,” he chides, pulling back a little to look down at me. “What happened with Rhydian?”

  “He made me pretend that we’re engaged, and have been for the last two years. Worse, he wants me to keep up the charade,” I answer bluntly, just wanting to get it over with.

  Suddenly the ridiculous amount of ways I’d practiced saying it in my head on the way here sounded stupid, leaving me with nothing else to say but the basic facts. I stare at Darren expectantly, waiting for his reaction. Waiting for him to explode a little, maybe curse Rhydian’s name and smack a wall. Instead, he does something that I could never have predicted, he laughs.

  “This isn’t funny,” I mutter, when he continues to chuckle.

  “I’m sorry, but it’s a little funny. Why is he making you pretend to be engaged?” Darren asks.

  “To stop his sister marrying some asshole,” I mutter, rolling my eyes.

  “Aven?” Darren asks quickly, narrowing his eyes as his brow creases in concern.

  “You remember him? What has Rhydian said?” I blink in surprise, as Darren sighs, going to sit on his sofa. He pats the spot beside him. Despite the rush of apprehension rushing through me, I join him.

  “I get why he’s doing this now, but why the hell did he have to choose you?” Darren demands.

  “I was... uniquely qualified.” I can’t help but smirk at saying that.

  “What would this involve?” Darren asks me. I pull back in surprise, giving him a bewildered look.

  “Wait. You’re okay with me doing this?” I demand. “You can’t be serious.”

  “It depends on what you have to do, and how long it’ll be for, but ultimately it’s your choice, Kayla. I’m not going to make it for you. I understand why he would want to keep Aven away from his sister, though, I really do.”

  “What do you mean?” I prompt.

  “You can know he’s not pulling something where Cia is concerned. They fight terribly, but he cares a lot for her. If he says he’s doing this to protect her, he is,” Darren explains begrudgingly.

  “But what do you know about Aven?” I pry. Why the hell won’t anyone give me more information?

  “It’s not really my place to explain, Kayla. I’m sure Rhydian will explain at some point. I hope.” Darren grimaces. “Why did he have to drag you into this? Surely he could have found someone else?” he asks again.

  “It would only work with me,” I admit. “Over two years ago he hid a ring on me to sneak it out from Aven’s home. I was just a stranger to him at the time, it was kind of a mix-up.”

  “That was the night we met, wasn’t it?” Darren asks, frowning again.

  “It was also apparently the night I met him too, unfortunately,” I answer. “Why did I have to go into that stupid room?”

  “Life is a tricky bitch,” Darren offers in consolation.

  “What should I do?” I ask him, hating that lost feeling that keeps swirling around inside of me.

  “Whatever you want to do,” Darren answers confidently.

  I look at Darren, trying to read him for any signs of trickery. Surely he’s not this relaxed about the whole situation? Despite my unease, he really does seem genuine, the look in his brown eyes is one of trust. He rests his hand on my thigh and gives it a gentle squeeze. Despite all of this, I feel compelled to ask again, just to be certain.

  “Are you really sure you’re okay with this?”

  Without warning, he moves quickly and pins me down onto the sofa beneath him. “I know what we have. You going to some dinners with his family, or whatever it is he ha
s planned, while pretending to be his fiancée means nothing in comparison to it.”

  “When did you get so reasonable?” I question jokingly, looking up at him as he leans right above me.

  “When I realised that I have everything I want, and I don’t want to chase it away,” he answers seriously, before pressing his lips against mine. I relax and kiss him back, thanking the goddess that I have this bit of good in my currently chaotic life at least.

  And I don’t intend to lose it.

  Ten

  Witch Dreams

  There’s blood all over my hands. I stare down as I turn them over to inspect just how covered they are on both sides, seeing there’s not an inch of skin not marked by it. I can taste it too. The sanguine fluid coats my throat and clings to my teeth. I’m also sure that if I looked in a mirror, my face would be a red-smeared mess.

  Laboured breaths escape me as I wait in anticipation for it to happen.

  When nothing occurs and I feel no change, I cast my eyes all over the room of the temple, searching for something, someone. There’s nothing. Only bitter disappointment and anger.

  “Why are they not good enough?” the words come from my mouth, but it’s not my voice that’s speaking. The accent is strange, foreign to me even as I feel her thoughts along with my own, having mistaken them for just that until she’d spoken.

  We look down at the floor, the three corpses stirring no sympathy in us, only frustration. They should have been pure enough sacrifices. They had committed no crimes or sins against the Gods, and yet the offering has been rejected. These men weren’t good enough. None of them have been.

  “Why give me an impossible task?” the voice calls out pleadingly, pausing only for a moment before adding, “How can I prove I am worthy of your gift?”