A Selfish Heart: A Regency Romance: Landon House (Book 2)

by Pearson, Rose

“I quite understand,” Lady Hayward said gently. “Forgive me. I ought not to be pushing you towards any gentlemen, not when there is already enough difficulty for you at present.”

  Anna subsided. “I must hope that it will be as Lord Comerfield has said,” she answered, feeling suddenly very tired indeed. “And if it is not, then I must face the realization that I am soon to be wed to him.”

  “Is that such a dreadful prospect?” Lady Selina asked as Anna jerked her head towards her, anger burning through her once more. “After all, he is a marquess, and, from what he is doing, there may well be something of a decent character to him, underneath the selfishness and arrogance that is so often displayed.”

  Biting back a harsh retort, it took all of Anna’s will to remain silent as she fought against the urge to remind her sister that she had not been the one subjected to Lord Comerfield’s advances. That she was not the one now facing such great difficulties and that she had no such concerns as Anna had.

  “As much as I might wish to disagree, there is wisdom in considering Lord Comerfield,” Lady Hayward agreed, speaking with infinite gentleness as though she could see the ball of fire that was currently lodged in Anna’s heart. “It would bring an end to your difficulties at present, although I understand that such a thought is not at all pleasant.”

  “No,” Anna replied tightly, no longer able to look at her sister or Lady Hayward. “It is not a pleasant thought at all, and I can assure you both that I have no intention of giving Lord Comerfield even a momentary consideration. Not until I am told that there is no other choice for me but to do so.”

  Lady Hayward nodded and said nothing more, leaving the three of them to stand in silence for a short time. Anna was torn between wanting to speak further, wanting to explain why she certainly could not consider Lord Comerfield, and having an urge to berate her sister for stating such a foolish thing in the first place.

  Her thoughts were interrupted, however, by the arrival of three ladies who, coming towards them, stopped for a moment, murmuring to each other, before advancing closer. Anna felt her heart sink, for there were matching supercilious smiles on each of the three faces. One, a lady she presumed was the mother of the younger two ladies, greeted Lady Hayward warmly, although Lady Hayward herself did not seem as delighted to receive the lady’s company.

  “Good evening, Lady Warwickshire,” Lady Hayward murmured, glancing towards Lady Selina and then to Anna, a warning look in her eyes. “Might I present my charges? This is Lady Selina and Lady Anna, daughters to the Duke of Holmwood. Lady Anna, Lady Selina, might I introduce the Countess of Warwickshire.”

  Lady Warwickshire was a tall but plump woman, with small, narrowed eyes and a look of arrogance that passed from her to her daughters. Anna dropped into a curtsy at once, feeling her stomach tighten as she rose, seeing how the lady was watching her with sharp eyes.

  “These are my two wonderful daughters,” Lady Warwickshire replied, dragging the word out. “Lady Frederica and Lady Margaret.”

  “How very good to meet you,” Lady Selina replied as Anna merely smiled, fairly certain that this was not a pleasant meeting. “Are you enjoying London at present?”

  Lady Margaret glanced at her mother, who gave her a small nod, evidently giving her permission to answer.

  “We are, very much,” Lady Margaret replied, her eyes darting towards Anna even though she spoke to Lady Selina. “We have been very well instructed and have been doing very well indeed thus far in amongst society.”

  Lady Warwickshire seemed to glow with pleasure. “It is always a disappointment to hear when someone falls into disgrace,” she said bluntly, “although I am relieved to know that it shall never be one of my two daughters! They have been, as Lady Margaret has said, very well prepared.”

  “As have we both,” Anna found herself saying, aware of how hot her face was becoming but finding herself quite unable to remain silent. “One lesson that must be learned by being in London and in amongst the ton, however, is that rumors and such like cannot always be fully believed.”

  The color pulled itself from Lady Warwickshire’s cheeks and she lifted her chin a notch, her lips thin and her eyes even more narrowed.

  “Attempting to cover your poor behavior with poor excuses is not something that is at all proper, Lady Anna,” she said briskly, turning her head away as though she could not even bear to look at her. “Most improper.”

  “I can assure you, Lady Warwickshire, that what Lady Anna states is quite true,” Lady Hayward replied, a faint spot of color rising in each cheek. “And it is a wise lesson to learn, I think, for such rumor and gossip will, inevitably, bring harm to those who do not deserve it.”

  This made Lady Warwickshire snort with derision, and Anna’s face flushed hot, making her close her eyes with embarrassment. It was clear that Lady Warwickshire’s sole intention in joining them here was so that she might either ridicule Anna or show her daughters what could occur to a lady if one did not behave as properly as expected.

  “I find your defense of Lady Anna utterly indefensible, Lady Hayward,” Lady Warwickshire stated, lifting her chin a notch. “I brought my daughters here so that Lady Selina might be introduced to them, for my heart goes out to the poor young lady who is so tied to her sister and thus, will inevitably be tainted by her sister’s shortcomings.” She shook her head and tutted loudly, as Anna opened her eyes to see her sister’s face also red with either irritation or embarrassment but felt her own heart sinking low in her chest. Lady Warwickshire was quite correct in her statement. Lady Selina would be tainted by such rumors, even though it would be a great deal less than Anna herself.

  “I do not need such assistance, however kindly meant,” Lady Selina replied, her voice holding more determination than Anna had ever heard it. “I believe my sister’s account of such matters and should you speak to Lord Comerfield—”

  “Then he will tell you precisely the same thing.”

  Anna’s gaze darted to her right, astonished to see Lord Comerfield standing there, clearly having just joined them. Had he been watching her? Had he heard Lady Warwickshire speak? Was he now truly coming to defend her in such an obvious manner?

  “Lord Comerfield,” Lady Warwickshire said, her lip curling as her two daughters took a small step back from him, their distaste apparent in both their expressions and their manner. “I hardly think that—”

  “Lady Anna is entirely innocent of the spurious rumors that are currently making their way through the ton, Lady Warwickshire,” he stated, interrupting her. “Therefore, I can assure you that the fault and the blame were entirely my own. I was, as much as it is embarrassing enough to admit, fully in my cups and did not know what I was doing.” This, of course, was not precisely the truth, but, for the moment, Anna did not care about honesty. “She was making her way back from the retiring room and I was foolish in my actions indeed. If you are to spurn anyone, if you are to turn away from someone, then it ought, by rights, to be myself, Lady Warwickshire. Lady Anna is not to blame, and I shall not allow you to speak to her in such a manner when she has done nothing wrong.”

  It was a long speech, and when he finished, Anna could see that even those around them had gone quiet, their conversations halted so that they could overhear what Lord Comerfield would say in response to Lady Warwickshire. Instead of feeling any great pleasure at such a thing, instead of feeling herself glad that he had spoken, Anna felt awash with embarrassment. Dropping her head, she did not hear Lady Warwickshire’s curt reply, such was the sound of blood roaring in her ears, her hands tightening together as she held them in front of her. Never before had she wanted to escape from such a conversation, feeling as though she were being imprisoned against her will.

  “You take the blame entirely on yourself, Lord Comerfield, but I will not believe it,” Lady Warwickshire replied after a few moments. “Your reputation speaks for itself, but I will not pretend that young ladies such as this are not easily persuaded by your charms. Attempting to restore her by
stating that you are the only one responsible in such a situation may do something to satisfy your own guilt, but I shall not accept it.” With a toss of her head, she turned on her heel. “Come, girls.”

  Anna kept her head low as Lady Warwickshire and her daughters walked away from them all, feeling such mortification that she wanted to sink through the floor. She was in no doubt that many others were now speaking of what they had both witnessed and overheard, finding her heart so pained that tears sprang into her eyes.

  “Are you quite all right, Lady Anna?” Lady Hayward was beside her in a moment, but Anna could not lift her head for fear of bursting into great sobs, which would only make things all the worse for her.

  “Ridiculous woman!” came the voice of Lord Rowley, forcing Anna to blink back her tears. “Come now, Lady Anna, you must take heart. There are some ladies here whom Lord Comerfield knows would be glad to acquaint themselves with you.”

  Anna shook her head. “No, I thank you,” she answered, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “I have no desire to be introduced to anyone else.”

  She expected Lady Hayward especially to argue with her about this point, but the lady simply placed a hand on Anna’s arm.

  “You cannot leave,” Lord Comerfield said urgently as Anna forced herself to lift her head and look up at him, a little surprised to see such a great concern etched in his dark brown eyes as he searched her face. “It would make things all the worse for you should you retreat.”

  Anna shook her head, lifting her hands for a moment. “What does it matter?” she said hopelessly. “There will be many others like Lady Warwickshire and, no matter how many of your acquaintances you believe to be willing to support me, I shall never again have the freedom and the acceptance that was with me only a few days ago.” Her chin lifted as she looked back at him steadily, an ache in her throat and her heart burning with sorrow. “It is entirely hopeless.”

  “No.” His hand reached out and caught her wrist for just a moment. “No, Lady Anna, it will not be as you say. Lady Warwickshire may be one of a few who will refuse to listen but, I promise to you that I shall do all I can to have the ton hear the truth and reject the rumors. In time, you will find yourself in that place of freedom once more, I assure you.”

  Anna could not speak, for the touch of his hand to her wrist was sending all manner of emotions through her. She was instantly thrust back into that moment when he had caught her from behind, when he had pressed his cheek to hers, his lips close to her ear. She shuddered violently, and Lord Comerfield’s eyes flared wide before he dropped her hand, stepping back just a little and lowering his head.

  “Lord Comerfield is right to encourage you so, my dear,” Lady Hayward said gently as the conversations around them once more began to increase. “Do not give up entirely based solely on the cruelty of Lady Warwickshire.”

  Turning her gaze to her companion, Anna let out a long sigh. “I am tired,” she said as Lady Hayward smiled sympathetically. “I am tired of this all already. It would be much simpler to return home and allow these rumors to spread.” She felt as though she were sinking into a sand pit that was continually pulling her down as though she had no energy left within her to fight and struggle against it.

  “Pray, let me encourage you,” Lord Rowley replied kindly. “Here, Lady Anna, take my arm. Accompany me to a few others whom I know for certain will not speak to you as Lady Warwickshire has done. That will lift your spirits, I am sure of it.”

  Anna looked at him hopelessly, seeing the kindness behind his words and yet feeling as though there was very little reason for her to do so.

  “Please, Lady Anna,” Lord Comerfield said gently. “And come the morrow, I should like to call upon you to discuss the situation further. To see if more can be done to assist you. To see whether or not there is any use in my presence alongside you if it is only to cause you difficulty.”

  Lady Hayward held up one hand. “Might I suggest, Lord Comerfield, that you do so at my residence rather than at the duke’s,” she said quietly. “Now, Lady Anna, why do you not do as Lord Rowley has suggested? There may be happiness here for you yet.”

  Anna wanted to shake her head and refuse, wanted to call for the carriage and have herself returned home immediately but, as she looked all about her and saw her sister, Lady Hayward, Lord Rowley, and Lord Comerfield looking at her expectantly, she knew she could not do such a thing. There was no escape at present, no matter how she herself felt. It seemed she was bound to this course for the present, even though she knew it would be entirely unrewarding.

  With a tight smile, she took Lord Rowley’s arm and allowed him to lead her away, even though Lady Hayward and Lady Selina followed after her. She did not look back, did not even send Lord Comerfield a single glance, but the gentleman himself could not seem to take his eyes from her.

  Chapter Seven

  Quite what had made him state that he would call upon Lady Anna tomorrow afternoon, Elias could not say. Had it been the desperate look in her eyes? The realization that she would not be given the same freedoms as before, despite his promise to do whatever he could for her? The way she had spoken, the hopelessness in her eyes, and the heaviness about her person had thrust a spear of guilt hard against his heart until he had found himself speaking with an eagerness he had not known was within him.

  And yet, there was still a great deal of fear within him. Fear that he would be forced to wed Lady Anna despite his best efforts to change the situation for her. He did not want to have to do so, did not want to have his own situation changed simply for her sake, even though he knew full well he was entirely responsible for it. His urge to speak to her, to encourage her and to beg her to continue with his plan for a little longer came not only from a desire to have her restored to society, but also to make certain that his way of life could continue.

  Is that being selfish? he wondered to himself as his carriage made its way towards Lady Hayward’s townhouse. Or is that quite understandable?

  Wrestling with the question for a short time, Elias gave up trying to come to a decision as to whether or not his motivation was correct and, instead, chose to close his eyes and rest his head back against the squabs in the hope of calming himself just a little before he arrived. There was, he noted, a little anxiety playing about his heart at the thought of having to, once more, sit with Lady Anna and apologize profusely for what he had done. Was it that he did not wish to see her so sorrowful? Was the pain of his guilt too much for him to bear? His jaw worked as he recalled the way he had looked across the room last evening, only to see her standing there, her face white as milk and her eyes downcast. She had lowered her head, her hands clasped in front of her, and it was only then he had heard Lady Warwickshire speak.

  He had acted without hesitation, breaking off his conversation with another lady without even a word of apology and making his way to her side so that he might defend her. It had done very little, unfortunately, given that Lady Warwickshire had been so very determined to believe everything that she had heard, yet he had found himself quietly glad that he had been able to step in to verbally set things to rights. He was quite certain that those who had listened to him, those who had been paying close attention despite the fact that they were not a part of the group, would have considered carefully what he had said.

  “My lord?”

  Elias opened his eyes only to realize that the carriage was now at a standstill, with the door open and a footman waiting for him to descend. A little embarrassed, he cleared his throat and climbed down quickly, looking up at the townhouse before him. Without hesitating, he hurried up the stone steps and made his way to the door, which was opened for him at once.

  “Lord Comerfield,” he said, handing the butler his hat and gloves. “I believe I am expected.”

  “You are, my lord,” the butler replied, bowing. “This way, if you please.”

  The townhouse was very elegant in its décor, making Elias wonder if it was Lady Hayward’s hand that had guided
such decisions. Such thoughts distracted him from his true purpose until he came to the door of the drawing-room. Hearing his name announced by the butler, he stepped in after him and bowed low, giving him only a minute chance to see those within. When he lifted his head, he saw Lady Hayward standing tall, whilst Lady Anna finished her curtsy. Neither appeared to be welcoming and Elias dropped his head, clearing his throat as he did so.

  “Please, do be seated, Lord Comerfield,” Lady Hayward said, her voice a little cool. “You had no difficulty arriving here, I hope?”

  “None whatsoever,” he answered, sitting down stiffly into a straight-backed chair. “Might I ask how you fare today, Lady Anna?”

  Lady Anna’s gaze was not timid as he had expected, nor was it sorrowful. Instead, there was a glint in her eye that spoke of a deep anger, a tightness about her mouth that told him she was not at all contented. And he could not blame her.

  “I am a little downhearted,” she answered steadily. “Last evening, whilst I was grateful for Lord Rowley’s assistance and, I suppose, for your intervention when it came to Lady Warwickshire, there did not come within me the surge of hope that all will be well.”

  Elias winced. “I am aware of that, Lady Anna,” he replied hastily, “but it was only the first evening soiree and, as yet, I have not had the opportunity to speak to as many of my acquaintances as I would have liked.”

  She did not reply to this but rather continued to study him, her eyes searching his as though seeking to discover whether or not he spoke the truth.

  “I have every intention to continue as I did last evening,” he said, speaking with haste. “Lord Rowley is only the first of many, I assure you. And, besides this, you also have Lord and Lady Chesterton and Lord Stevenson, whom, I presume, must all believe you innocent. Lord Stevenson’s betrothed, Miss Hemmingway, will, of course, also be glad to acquaint herself with you, I am sure of it.” He gave her a small smile, but it was one she did not return. “We have just under three weeks remaining, Lady Anna,” he finished, a little desperately. “Might you not be willing to continue with our endeavors until then?”