A Selfish Heart: A Regency Romance: Landon House (Book 2)

by Pearson, Rose

  “Lady Hayward will be back in a few moments,” Lady Anna said, a faint blush capturing her cheeks. “She knows that I wish to speak to you alone.”

  “Oh?” Elias could not help but catch his breath as he attempted to remain just as calm as before, despite the pounding of his heart. What was it Lady Anna wished to say to him that could not be said in front of Lady Hayward?

  “I must, as I have said, offer you my great thanks for what you did for me last evening, Lord Comerfield,” Lady Anna said softly, her eyes lingering on his before she looked away for a moment, a faint blush rising in her cheeks. “Might I ask you why you were so intent on watching me last evening?”

  Elias cleared his throat, feeling a faint swirl of embarrassment in his chest. “I watched you, Lady Anna, to make certain that you were treated well by those around you. You know that I have been willing to step in whenever I am needed, simply to make certain that the truth is well known.”

  Lady Anna nodded slowly. “You have been more than willing to do so and have been very diligent with it also,” she answered quietly. “Might I ask, Lord Comerfield, if you intend to continue on in such a manner for the rest of the Season?”

  “And for the next!” he exclaimed fervently. “I will continue to do all I can for you, Lady Anna, until you are settled and contented.” Leaning forward in his chair, he held her gaze with a steadiness that spoke of the urgency and eagerness within his own heart. “I must know that my wrong towards you has not ruined your chances entirely, Lady Anna. I have to do what I can to make certain that your happiness can still be found.”

  She looked at him and then tilted her head in much the same manner as her father, her green eyes sparkling. “I believe I said to you some weeks ago that there was nothing but selfishness and arrogance within your heart, Lord Comerfield,” she said quietly. “Now, however, I believe that such words would no longer be true.”

  “That is only because of you, Lady Anna,” Elias replied quickly, wishing he could find a way to show her the depths of his heart without having to find the words to explain it. “Your pain was obvious to me, and guilt tore through my heart. But it lingered on my own self, on the consequences that I did not want to have to endure rather than focusing entirely on you. You saw such things within me and did not hesitate to reveal them to me, Lady Anna, and for that, I shall forever be grateful.”

  Her brows lifted in surprise. “Grateful?”

  “Indeed,” he replied eagerly. “Lord Rowley has often criticized me, but I have ignored him, believing myself to be quite contented just as I am. You, however, bore the consequences of my foolishness and your sharp words dug directly into my heart and forced me to consider my character as it truly is. What I found there was not as I had expected.”

  One corner of her mouth lifted. “No?” she asked softly, her gaze now gentle. “What did you discover?”

  Elias spread his hands. “I found that all you had said was quite true, Lady Anna,” he said honestly. “I was not as a gentleman ought to be. I was selfish. I was arrogant. And thus, in realizing such things and in seeing just how much pain and suffering I had brought to you because of it, I knew that I could not simply ignore such a thing. I had to do what I could to make certain that all manner of things within me changed for the better. I have found myself thinking of you and what you said so many times, Lady Anna. I pray now that such a change is evident within me.”

  Lady Anna’s expression softened all the more. “It is,” she answered, filling his heart with such a great surge of hope that he did not know what to make of it. “It is so very wonderful to see, Lord Comerfield. And after last evening, I am all the more grateful to you for your willingness to continue watching over the interactions I have with others. That, I think, speaks of the…consideration that you have for me at present. Although, I do not want to become a burden to you, Lord Comerfield.” Her brow furrowed and her gaze flickered as she glanced away for a moment before lifting her head to look at him again.

  Elias was out of his chair before he could stop himself. “You are not a burden to me, Lady Anna,” he said with such fervor that he felt the truth of it fill his chest, wanting desperately to explain to her all that he felt and yet knowing he could not. Instead, he hunkered down before her as though he were a subject and she his royal queen. “I do not consider your company nor my responsibility towards you to be a burden. Rather, I accept it gladly. It is precisely because of you that I have found myself so changed, and, in that, I am truly grateful.” Aware of the urge to reach out and take her hand in his, Elias rose to his feet and refused to give in to such thoughts. “It is not just consideration for you that fills my heart, Lady Anna,” he finished, still looking down at her and seeing the way her eyes held to his, an expression of deep curiosity held within them. “It is more that I have come to care for you.”

  The words rang around the room with such force that Elias felt them strike hard at his chest, but he did not say anything more, refusing to pull them back. They were the truth, and he did not want to hide from the truth. Lady Anna’s eyes grew wide with astonishment, her mouth opening just a little as though she wanted to reply but could not find a way to do so. Elias smiled at her and then, turning, made his way back to his seat, hearing Lady Hayward’s footsteps coming to join them.

  “The maid is just about to bring the refreshments,” she said glibly, although Elias was quite certain Lady Hayward knew very well that words of great importance had been shared between both himself and Lady Anna in her absence. “She had thought you still with the duke, Lord Comerfield.”

  Elias smiled at her. “There is no particular urgency,” he said, sitting back comfortably in his chair and finding, much to his surprise, that he felt less burdened than before. In speaking as he had to Lady Anna, there was no longer that deep sense of urgency within him, urgency to tell her of what he felt. He had said enough, had told her enough for her to realize the truth of what was within his heart and, for the present, that would satisfy him.

  “And you are to attend the evening assembly tonight?” Lady Hayward asked as Elias nodded. “Another excellent evening, I hope!”

  “I am sure it will be,” Elias agreed, daring a glance at Lady Anna and seeing that her cheeks were now blossoming with color, her eyes darting between himself and Lady Hayward. A small smile crossed his face as a sense of satisfaction and relief flooded him. “Yes, Lady Hayward. I am certain it will be an excellent evening indeed.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Anna looked down at her dance card. “The country dance,” she murmured, looking back at Lord Hillock. “You are very kind, Lord Hillock. I look forward to it.”

  The gentleman beamed and then turned to Lady Selina, requesting her dance card also. This particular evening assembly had only a few dances but Anna was being very careful indeed as to who she gave them to. There was to be none of the carelessness that had come with the previous ball, not when she had found herself in such a difficult position with Lord Henderson! Her breath hitched as she recalled just how Lord Comerfield had come to her aid, how he had held her close in the gardens, reassuring her and comforting her for a few moments before he had gone in search of Lady Hayward. If anything had proven to her that he was not the gentleman he had once been, that had been the moment. He had not sought to kiss her, to encourage her towards intimate affections with him. She had been very weak and overcome with shock and he had done nothing but offer her his support and aid. No, he was not the gentleman she had once thought him to be. The change in his character, the way he watched and considered her, were all entirely genuine, and Anna was very happy indeed to see it.

  I have come to care for you.

  Those words had not left her ever since Lord Comerfield had spoken them. It was foolish of her, of course, to let such sentiment linger on within her heart, but she could not rid herself of it. It was as though something had ignited itself within her, something that she simply could not let go of within her own heart. Part of her wanted to question Lord
Comerfield further, wanted to know precisely what he had meant by such words, but another part of her wanted nothing more than to refrain from such an action, fearing what it might then lead to.

  “You are very quiet this evening.”

  Anna turned to see Lady Hayward smiling at her and, with a small shrug, tried to let out a small laugh.

  “I am a little distracted, that is all,” she said, hoping her chaperone had not overheard what Lord Comerfield had said that afternoon. “I am being very careful indeed with the company I choose for myself, however.”

  Lady Hayward smiled. “I am glad of it,” she said softly. “And did your conversation with Lord Comerfield go as you had hoped? I know you wanted to discuss the matter of Lord Henderson without interruption so that you might speak openly.” Her eyes searched Anna’s face. “Did that occur?”

  Anna nodded tersely. “It did,” she said, quickly, not willing at all to mention anything further. “I thank you, Lady Hayward, for your understanding.”

  Lady Hayward chuckled. “I do not think your father would have approved of me stepping out for so long, but I well understand the need to speak about such a matter without being overheard,” she said, reaching out to squeeze Anna’s hand for a moment. “Although, if there is anything that you wish to speak of, anything that you might wish to discuss further, then you know that I am more than willing to listen and offer what little advice I have.”

  Anna opened her mouth to say that there was nothing more she needed to discuss, but closed it silently, refraining from comment. She was, she realized, having very odd feelings towards Lord Comerfield and that, certainly, was something that she needed to think on a little more before she could make any sense of it.

  “No?” Lady Hayward murmured, a twinkle in her eye. “Perhaps not yet, then.”

  A flush caught Anna’s cheeks. “Not yet,” she replied, a little embarrassed. “I am not even certain that there will be anything at all to discuss, Lady Hayward!”

  “But it is about Lord Comerfield, is it not?” Lady Hayward asked gently, turning to face Anna a little more. “I have spoken to your father about the possibility that there may yet be a match between you.”

  Astonished, Anna stared at her chaperone, who only smiled back at her with a kindness in her expression that Anna knew came from the very depths of Lady Hayward’s heart.

  “I have seen the way he has come to care for you,” Lady Hayward continued, quietly. “I know that his change in character is of great significance to you, even if you are yet uncertain as to how to move forward with such awareness.”

  Anna closed her eyes, hearing Lord Hillock laugh as he continued in conversation with her sister. “I do not know what has come over me,” she said reluctantly as though she did not truly wish to speak to Lady Hayward but found herself unable to remain silent. “I find that Lord Comerfield’s actions, his consideration of me, and his continued determination to only seek my best for me has had a profound effect on my heart.”

  “Indeed, as it well might,” Lady Hayward replied gently. “I know that you were angry with him—and rightly so—but what he has done thereafter speaks highly of his change in character.”

  “But can I be certain of it?” Anna asked aloud, the question appearing on her lips even though she had never once thought it within her mind. “Is his change in character to be considered a permanent change?”

  Lady Hayward pondered this for a moment, then lifted one hand. “I cannot say, Lady Anna,” she replied gently. “I would not guide you in this matter either, whether or not I had my own opinion. Such a thing must be your own choice, your own decision. Speak with Lord Comerfield if you wish, for I am sure that he has his own feelings on the matter.” The twinkle in her eye returned and Anna could not help but laugh.

  “If you are as aware of things as you state, then I am sure that, by now, you are fully aware that Lord Comerfield has more than just a general consideration for my wellbeing, Lady Hayward,” she said as her chaperone laughed softly. “But yes, you are quite correct.” Becoming a little more thoughtful, she nodded to herself. “I will consider things further and decide what it is I shall do. Initially, I had thought I would wait until next Season to find a suitable match, but...” She trailed off, frowning hard for a moment, her gaze settling upon Lord Comerfield who had only just entered the room. Had her eyes been drawn to him? Had something within her known that he was about to come into the room?

  “But if there is a match waiting for you here already, a match where you might find happiness and respect—if not something more—then why wait until next Season?” Lady Hayward asked, turning to see where Anna was looking. A little embarrassed, Anna dropped her gaze and turned her head away from Lord Comerfield.

  “Indeed,” she said, heat rising up within her. “Or perhaps I am being foolish.”

  “That will be for you to decide,” Lady Hayward replied firmly. “But now, look. You are to dance with Lord Stockbridge, are you not? Here, he is about to approach.”

  Distracted from her thoughts with the prospect of dancing with Lord Stockbridge, Anna quickly placed a smile on her face and turned to greet him.

  * * *

  “Good evening, Lord Bowman. Thank you for the wonderful dance.”

  Anna curtsied quickly just as Lord Bowman bowed towards her.

  “My pleasure,” he replied with a warm smile. “I look forward to dancing with you again, Lady Anna.”

  Anna smiled and nodded, watching him depart with a warmth growing steadily within her heart. It seemed that her return to society was, in fact, improving with every day that passed. The evening assembly was not an event that had been organized by Lord Comerfield, and nor had it a carefully chosen guest list, but thus far, she had not found any particular difficulties. Yes, there were one or two ladies who turned away from her, and one in particular had given her the cut direct, but Anna had not felt the sting of it as badly as she once had. Thanks to Lord Comerfield’s endeavors, she had found herself very happy indeed this evening and prayed silently that such a success would continue.

  And then next year, you can return and secure a match, she reminded herself, looking vaguely around the large room and wondering who she was next to dance with. Unless there is something else that you might consider first.

  Closing her eyes, Anna took in a steadying breath and gave herself a slight shake. She had been overcome by these strange emotions ever since Lord Comerfield had come to her rescue, and, to her astonishment, they had only increased since then. There was no reason for her to have such strong feelings, but they simply would not leave her. She wanted to look for him, to speak to him, and to, in some way, confirm for herself whether or not this change in character was true.

  Her breath hitched. Lord Comerfield was leading a young lady from the dance floor. His expression was a little grim, and there was not even a flicker of joy in his eyes. The young lady, however, appeared to be talking excitedly and at great length, looking up at Lord Comerfield earnestly. He stopped and turned to her, bowing his head, only for the lady to reach out and catch his arm.

  Anna’s heart began to pound. It was clear what the young lady was hoping for, was perhaps asking for, and the question now remained as to whether or not he would indulge in such a request. She watched closely as Lord Comerfield shook his head and turned away, only for the young lady to follow him. Anna’s brow lowered as she watched the actions of Lord Comerfield, wondering where the young lady’s mother or chaperone had gone.

  And then, they stepped out of her view.

  Agonized, Anna took a small step forward to look after them but saw nothing. Where had they gone? Her heart screamed at her to discover the truth, to go after them and find out what was occurring as though she needed to know precisely what actions he would now take. It would prove to her whether or not this supposed transformation of his character was genuine.

  “I—I must go to the retiring room,” Anna murmured just as Lady Hayward looked at her. “Might I be excused for a
moment?”

  Lady Hayward nodded. “We will wait here,” she said as Anna began to step away. “Do be careful.”

  Anna gave her chaperone a quick smile and made her way in the direction of the retiring room, which, to her knowledge, was through the door to her right. There was no sign of Lord Comerfield and the young lady, making Anna’s anxiety begin to increase rapidly. She desperately prayed that he would not be accepting her affections, that the truth of his declaration that he was a changed man would be proven correct.

  “The retiring room?” she inquired of a footman, who directed her through the door and then to turn again to her right. Anna nodded, turned her head to see Lady Hayward still watching her, easily able to see where she entered, before making her way through.

  The hallway was quiet and empty. There were two doors, one on either side of her, with the rest of the large hallway before her for a short distance until it split to the right and left, no doubt leading to other grand rooms. Anna frowned. If Lord Comerfield was not here, then where had he gone?

  Her heart sank, and she lowered her head, reaching out one hand to press it against the wall for a moment. There was nothing about this situation that was good. It seemed that Lord Comerfield and this particular young lady had disappeared, and she had no need to question what it was they had gone to do.

  “Enough!”

  The exclamation caught her ears, startling her as she looked ahead of her, having just been about to step into the retiring room. Her heart began to thump furiously in her chest as she took a few small steps forward, wondering what it was she would discover should she reach the end of the hallway and turn the corner. She heard a quiet laugh, and the sound tore at her, making her fear what sight she would soon behold.