Ruin and Rising

by Leigh Bardugo

  I swallowed the lump in my throat and said, “Did I come at a bad time?”

  Tamar shook her head. “Nikolai ended meetings early so people could attend the…” She trailed off.

  I nodded.

  They led me down a hall decorated with weapons of war and charts of the Fold. Those maps would have to change now. I wondered if anything would ever grow on those deadened sands.

  “Will you stay with him?” I asked Tamar. Nikolai had to be desperate for people he could trust around him.

  “For a while. Nadia wants to, and there are still some members of the Twenty-Second alive too.”

  “Nevsky?”

  She shook her head.

  “Did Stigg make it out of the Spinning Wheel?”

  She shook her head again. There were others to ask after, casualty lists I dreaded reading, but that would have to wait.

  “I might stay on,” said Tolya. “Depends on—”

  “Tolya,” his sister said sharply.

  Tolya flushed and shrugged. “Just depends.”

  We reached a set of heavy double doors, their handles the heads of two screaming eagles.

  Tamar knocked. The room was dark, lit only by the blaze of a fire in the grate. It took me a moment to pick Nikolai out in the gloom. He was seated in front of the fire, his polished boots propped up on a cushioned stool. A plate of food sat beside him, along with a bottle of kvas, though I knew he preferred brandy.

  “We’ll be outside,” Tamar said.

  At the sound of the door shutting, Nikolai started. He jumped to his feet and bowed. “Forgive me,” he said. “I was lost in thought.” Then he grinned and added, “Unfamiliar territory.”

  I leaned back against the door. A lapse. Covered with charm, but a lapse nonetheless. “You don’t have to do that.”

  “But I do.” His smile slipped. He gestured to the chairs by the fire. “Join me?”

  I crossed the room. The long table was littered with documents and sheaves of letters emblazoned with the royal seal.

  A book lay open on the chair. He moved it aside and we sat.

  “What are you reading?”

  He glanced at the title. “One of Kamenski’s military histories. Really, I just wanted to look at the words.” He ran his fingers over the cover. His hands were marred with nicks and cuts. Though my scars had faded, the Darkling had marked Nikolai in a different way. Faint black lines still ran along each of his fingers where claws had shoved their way through his skin. He would have to pass them off as signs of the torture he’d endured as the Darkling’s prisoner. In a way, it was true. At least the rest of the markings seemed to have faded. “I couldn’t read,” he continued. “When I was … I would see signs in store windows, writing on crates. I couldn’t understand them, but I remembered enough to know that they were more than scratches on a wall.”

  I settled deeper into the chair. “What else do you remember?”

  His hazel eyes were distant. “Too much. I … I can still feel that darkness inside me. I keep thinking it will go, but—”

  “I know,” I said. “It’s better now, but it’s still there.” Like a shadow next to my heart. I didn’t know what that might imply about the Darkling’s power, and I didn’t want to consider it. “Maybe it will fade in time.”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers. “This isn’t what people want of a king, what they expect from me.”

  “Give yourself a chance to heal.”

  “Everyone is watching. They need reassurance. It won’t be long before the Fjerdans or the Shu try to move against me.”

  “What will you do?”

  “My fleet is intact, thank the Saints and Privyet,” he said, referring to the officer he’d left in command when he’d given up the mantle of Sturmhond. “They should be able to neutralize Fjerda for a time, and there are supply ships already waiting in the harbor with deliveries of weapons. I’ve sent word to every operational military outpost. We’ll do our best to secure the borders. I leave for Os Alta tomorrow, and I have emissaries en route to try to bring the militias back under the King’s flag.” He gave a slight laugh. “My flag.”

  I smiled. “Just think of all of the bowing and scraping in your future.”

  “All hail the Pirate King.”

  “Privateer.”

  “Why dance around it? ‘Bastard King’ is more likely.”

  “Actually,” I said, “they’re already calling you Korol Rezni.” I’d heard it whispered in the streets of Kribirsk: King of Scars.

  He looked up sharply. “Do you think they know?”

  “I doubt it. But you’re used to rumors, Nikolai. And this might be a good thing.”

  He raised a brow.

  “I know you love to be loved,” I said, “but a little fear couldn’t hurt, either.”

  “Did the Darkling teach you that?”

  “And you. I seem to remember a certain story about a Fjerdan captain’s fingers and a hungry hound.”

  “Next time warn me when you’re paying attention. I’ll talk less.”

  “Now you tell me.”

  A faint smile tugged at his lips. Then he frowned. “I should warn you—the Apparat will be there tonight.”

  I sat up straighter. “You pardoned the priest?”

  “I had to. I need his support.”

  “Will you offer him a place at court?”

  “We’re in negotiations,” he said bitterly.

  I could offer him all the information I had on the Apparat, but I suspected what would help most was the location of the White Cathedral. Unfortunately, Mal was the only one who might have been able to lead us back there, and I wasn’t sure that was a possibility anymore.

  Nikolai gave the bottle of kvas an idle turn.

  “It’s not too late,” he said. “You could stay. You could come back with me to the Grand Palace.”

  “And do what?”

  “Teach, help me rebuild the Second Army, rusticate by the lake?”

  This was what Tolya had been alluding to. He’d hoped I might return to Os Alta. It hurt to even think about.

  I shook my head. “I’m not Grisha, and I’m certainly not a noble. I don’t belong at court.”

  “You could stay with me,” he said quietly. He gave the bottle another turn. “I still need a Queen.”

  I rose from my chair and nudged his booted feet aside, settling on the little stool to look up at him.

  “I’m not the Sun Summoner anymore, Nikolai. I’m not even Alina Starkov. I don’t want to return to court.”

  “But you understand this … thing.” He tapped his chest.

  I did. Merzost. Darkness. You could hate it and hunger for it at the same time.

  “I’d only be a liability. Power is alliance,” I reminded him.

  “I do love it when you quote me.” He sighed. “If only I weren’t so damnably wise.”

  I reached into my pocket and set the Lantsov emerald on Nikolai’s knee. Genya had given it back to me when we’d left Tomikyana.

  He picked it up, turned it over. Its stone flashed green in the firelight. “A Shu princess then? A buxom Fjerdan? A Kerch magnate’s daughter?” He held out the ring. “Keep it.”

  I stared at him. “How much of that kvas have you drunk?”

  “None. Keep it. Please.”

  “Nikolai, I can’t.”

  “I owe you, Alina. Ravka owes you. This and more. Do good works or commission an opera house or just take it out and gaze at it longingly when you think of the handsome prince you might have made your own. For the record, I favor the latter option, preferably paired with copious tears and the recitation of bad poetry.”

  I laughed.

  He took my hand and pressed the ring into it. “Take it and build something new.”

  I turned the ring over in my hand. “I’ll think about it.”

  He rolled his eyes. “What is your aversion to the word yes?”

  I felt tears rising and had to blink them away. “Thank you.”<
br />
  He leaned back. “We were friends, weren’t we? Not just allies?”

  “Don’t be an ass, Nikolai. We are friends.” I gave him a hard tap on the knee. “Now, you and I are going to settle some things about the Second Army. And then we’re going to watch me burn.”

  * * *

  ON OUR WAY to the drydocks, I slipped away and found Genya. She and David were cloistered in a Fabrikator tent on the east side of the camp. When I handed her the sealed letter marked with the Ravkan double eagle, she paused, holding it gingerly, as if the heavy paper were dangerous to the touch.

  She ran her thumb over the wax seal, fingers quaking slightly. “Is it…?”

  “It’s a pardon.”

  She tore it open and then clutched it to her.

  David didn’t look up from his worktable when he said, “Are we going to jail?”

  “Not just yet,” she said. She brushed away a tear. “Thank you.” Then she frowned as I handed her the second letter. “What is this?”

  “A job offer.” It had taken some convincing, but in the end Nikolai had seen the sense in my suggestions. I cleared my throat. “Ravka still needs its Grisha, and Grisha still need a safe haven in the world. I want you to lead the Second Army, along with David. And Zoya.”

  “Zoya? Are you punishing me?”

  “She’s powerful, and I think she has it in her to be a good leader. Or she’ll make your life a nightmare. Possibly both.”

  “Why us? The Darkling—”

  “The Darkling is gone, and so is the Sun Summoner. Now the Grisha can lead themselves, and I want all the orders represented: Etherealki, Materialki, and you—Corporalki.”

  “I’m not really a Corporalnik, Alina.”

  “When you had the chance, you chose red. And I hope that those divisions won’t matter so much if the Grisha are led by their own. All of you are strong. All of you know what it is to be seduced by power or status or knowledge. Besides, you’re all heroes.”

  “They’ll follow Zoya, maybe even David—”

  “Hmm?” he asked distractedly.

  “Nothing. You’re going to have to go to more meetings.”

  “I hate meetings,” he grumbled.

  “Alina,” she said, “I’m not so sure they’ll follow me.”

  “You make them follow you.” I touched her shoulder. “Brave and unbreakable.”

  A slow smile spread over her face. Then she winked. “And marvelous.”

  I grinned. “So you accept?”

  “I accept.”

  I hugged her tight. She laughed, then tugged at a lock of hair that had slipped free from my kerchief.

  “Already fading,” she said. “Should we freshen you up?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow,” she agreed.

  I embraced her once more, then slipped outside into the last scraps of daylight.

  * * *

  I WENDED MY WAY back through camp, following the crowd past the drydocks and into the sands of what had been the Unsea. The sun had almost set and dusk was falling, but it was impossible to miss the pyre, a massive mound of birches, their branches tangled like white limbs.

  A shiver passed through me as I saw the girl laid to rest atop it. Her hair spread around her head in a white halo. She wore a kefta of blue and gold, and Morozova’s collar curled around her throat, the stag’s antlers a silvery gray against her skin. Whatever wire or Fabrikator craft held the pieces together had been hidden from view.

  My eyes roved over her face—my face. Genya had done an extraordinary job. The shape was just right, the tilt of the nose, the angle of the jaw. The tattoo on her cheek was gone. There was almost nothing left of Ruby, the Soldat Sol who would have lived to be a Summoner if she hadn’t perished on the Fold. She’d died an ordinary girl.

  I’d balked at the idea of using her body this way, troubled that her family would have nothing to bury. It had been Tolya who convinced me. “She believed, Alina. Even if you don’t, let this be her final act of faith.”

  Beside Ruby, the Darkling lay in his black kefta.

  Who had tended him? I wondered, feeling an ache rise in my throat. Who had combed his dark hair back so neatly from his forehead? Who had folded his graceful hands on his chest?

  Some in the crowd were complaining that the Darkling had no business sharing a pyre with a Saint. But this felt right to me, and the people needed to see an end to it.

  The remaining Soldat Sol had gathered around the pyre, their bare backs and chests emblazoned with tattoos. Vladim was there too, head bowed, the raised flesh of his brand outlined by firelight. Around them, people wept. Nikolai stood at the periphery, immaculate in his First Army uniform, the Apparat at his side. I pulled my shawl up.

  Nikolai’s gaze touched mine briefly from across the circle. He gave the signal. The Apparat raised his hands. The Inferni struck their flints. Flame leapt in bright arcs, circling and diving between the birches like darting birds, licking at the tinder until it smoldered and caught.

  The fire grew, flames shimmering, the shaking leaves of a great golden tree. Around me, the moans and weeping of the crowd grew louder.

  Sankta, they cried. Sankta Alina.

  My eyes burned with the smoke. The smell was sickly sweet.

  Sankta Alina.

  No one knew his name to curse or extol, so I spoke it softly, beneath my breath.

  “Aleksander,” I whispered. A boy’s name, given up. Almost forgotten.

  AFTER

  A CHAPEL STOOD on the coast of West Ravka, south of Os Kervo, on the shores of the True Sea. It was a quiet place, where the waves came nearly to the door. The whitewashed walls were laden with shells, and the dome that floated above the altar looked less like the heavens than the deep blue well of the sea.

  There was no grand betrothal, no contract or false ransom. The girl and the boy had no families to fuss over them, to parade them through the nearby town or honor them with feasts. The bride wore no kokochnik, no dress of gold. Their only witnesses were an orange cat that slunk between the pews and a child, motherless now too, who carried a wooden sword. He had to stand on a chair to hold the driftwood crowns above their heads as the blessings were said. The names they gave were false ones, though the vows they made were true.

  * * *

  THERE WERE STILL WARS, and there were still orphans, but the building that rose over the ruin that had been Keramzin was nothing like the one before. It was not a Duke’s home, full of things that shouldn’t be touched. It was a place for children. The piano in the music room was left uncovered. The larder door was never locked. A lantern was always lit in the dormitories to keep away the dark.

  The staff did not approve.

  The students were too boisterous. Too much money was wasted on sugar for tea, on coal in the winter, on books that contained nothing but fairy stories. And why did each child require a new pair of skates?

  Young. Rich. Possibly mad. These were the words whispered about the couple who ran the orphanage. But they paid well, and the boy was so charming that it was hard to stay mad at him, even when he refused to take the switch to some hellion who had tracked mud across the entryway floor.

  He was said to be a distant relation of the Duke’s, and though his table manners were fine enough, he had a soldier’s way about him. He taught the students how to hunt and trap, and the new ways of farming so favored by Ravka’s King. The Duke himself had taken up residence at his winter house in Os Alta. The last few years of the war had been hard on him.

  The girl was different, small and strange, with white hair that she wore loose down her back like an unmarried woman, seemingly oblivious to the glares and disapproving clucking of the teachers and the staff. She told the students peculiar stories of flying ships and underground castles, of monsters who ate earth, and birds that rose on wings of flame. Often, she went barefoot in the halls, and the smell of fresh paint never seemed to fade, as she was always starting on some new project or other, drawing a map over one of the cl
assroom walls or covering the ceiling of the girls’ dormitory with irises.

  “Not much of an artist,” sniffed one of the teachers.

  “Certainly has an imagination, though,” the other replied, peering skeptically at the white dragon that curled around the banister of the stairs.

  The students learned math and geography, science and art. Tradesmen were brought in from local towns and villages to offer apprenticeships. The new King hoped to abolish the draft in a few years’ time, and if he succeeded, every Ravkan would need some kind of trade. When the children were tested for Grisha powers, they were allowed to choose whether or not to go to the Little Palace, and they were always welcome back at Keramzin. At night, they were told to keep the young King in their prayers—Korol Rezni who would keep Ravka strong.

  * * *

  EVEN IF THE BOY and the girl weren’t quite nobility, they certainly had friends in high places. Presents arrived frequently, sometimes marked with the royal seal: a set of atlases for the library, sturdy wool blankets, a new sleigh and a pair of matched white horses to pull it. Once a man arrived with a fleet of toy boats that the children launched on the creek in a miniature regatta. The teachers noted that the stranger was young and handsome, with golden hair and hazel eyes, but most definitely odd. He stayed late to dinner and never once removed his gloves.

  Every winter, during the feast of Sankt Nikolai, a troika would make its way up the snowy road and three Grisha would emerge dressed in furs and thick wool kefta—red, purple, and blue—their sledge weighted down with presents: figs and apricots soaked in honey, piles of walnut candies, mink-lined gloves, and boots of butter-soft leather. They stayed up late, long after the children had gone to bed, talking and laughing, telling stories, eating pickled plums and roasting lamb sausages over the fire.

  That first winter, when it was time for her friends to leave, the girl ventured out into the snow to say goodbye, and the stunning raven-haired Squaller handed her another gift.

  “A blue kefta,” said the math teacher, shaking her head. “What would she do with that?”

  “Maybe she knew a Grisha who died,” replied the cook, taking note of the tears that filled the girl’s eyes. They did not see the note that read, You will always be one of us.