Complete Works of Terence

by Terence

  Scene IV.

  Enter Geta, running, at the other side of the stage.

  Geta (to himself.) Geta, you are undone, unless you instantly find out some expedient; so suddenly do such mighty evils now threaten me thus unprepared, which I neither know how to shun, nor how to extricate myself therefrom; for this daring step of ours can not now any longer be kept a secret. If such a result is not adroitly guarded against, these matters will cause the ruin of myself, or of my master.

  Ant. (to Phædria.) Why, I wonder, is he coming in such fright?

  Geta (to himself.) Besides, I’ve but a moment left for this matter — my master’s close at hand.

  Ant. (to Phædria.) What mischief is this?

  Geta (to himself.) When he comes to hear of it, what remedy shall I discover for his anger? Am I to speak? I shall irritate him: be silent? I shall provoke him: excuse myself? I should be washing a brickbat. Alas! unfortunate me! While I am trembling for myself, this Antipho distracts my mind. I am concerned for him; I’m in dread for him: ‘tis he that now keeps me here; for had it not been for him, I should have made due provision for my safety, and have taken vengeance on the old man for his crabbedness; I should have scraped up something, and straightway taken to my heels away from here.

  Ant. (to Phædria.) I wonder what running away or theft it is that he’s planning.

  Geta (to himself.) But where shall I find Antipho, or which way go look for him?

  Phæd. (to Antipho.) He’s mentioning your name.

  Ant. (to Phædria.) I know not what great misfortune I expect to hear from this messenger.

  Phæd. (to Antipho.) Why, are you in your senses?

  Geta (to himself.) I’ll make my way homeward; he’s generally there.

  Phæd. (to Antipho.) Let’s call the fellow back.

  Ant. (calling out.) Stop, this instant.

  Geta (turning round.) Heyday — with authority enough, whoever you are.

  Ant. Geta!

  Geta. The very person I wanted to find.

  Ant. Pray, tell me what news you bring and dispatch it in one word, if you can.

  Geta. I’ll do so.

  Ant. Out with it.

  Geta. Just now, at the harbor —

  Ant. What, my father — ?

  Geta. You’ve hit it.

  Ant. Ruined outright!

  Phæd. Pshaw!

  Ant. What am I to do?

  Phæd. (to Geta.) What is it you say?

  Geta. That I have seen his father, your uncle.

  Ant. How am I, wretch that I am, now to find a remedy for this sudden misfortune? But if it should be my fortune, Phanium, to be torn away from you, life would cease to be desirable.

  Geta. Therefore, Antipho, since matters are thus, the more need have you to be on your guard; fortune helps the brave.

  Ant. I am not myself.

  Geta. But just now it is especially necessary you should be so, Antipho; for if your father perceives that you are alarmed, he will think that you have been guilty of some fault.

  Phæd. That’s true.

  Ant. I can not change.

  Geta. What would you do, if now something else still more difficult had to be done by you?

  Ant. As I am not equal to this, I should be still less so to the other.

  Geta. This is doing nothing at all, Phædria, let’s be gone; why do we waste our time here to no purpose. I shall be off.

  Phæd. And I too. (They move as if going.)

  Ant. Pray, now, if I assume an air, will that do? (He endeavors to assume another air.)

  Geta. You are trifling.

  Ant. Look at my countenance — there’s for you. (Assuming a different air.) Will that do?

  Geta. No.

  Ant. Well, will this? (Assuming another air.)

  Geta. Pretty well.

  Ant. Well then, this? (Assuming a still bolder air.)

  Geta. That’s just the thing. There now, keep to that, and answer him word for word, like for like; don’t let him, in his anger, disconcert you with his blustering words.

  Ant. I understand.

  Geta. Say that you were forced against your will by law, by sentence of the court; do you take me? (Looking earnestly in one direction.) But who is the old man that I see at the end of the street?

  Ant. ‘Tis he himself. I can not stand it. (Going.)

  Geta. Oh! What are you about? Whither are you going, Antipho? Stop, I tell you.

  Ant. I know my own self and my offense; to your management I trust Phanium and my own existence.

  Exit hastily.

  Scene V.

  Phædria and Geta.

  Phæd. Geta, what’s to be done now?

  Geta. You will just hear some harsh language: I shall be trussed up and trounced, if I am not somewhat mistaken. But what we were just now advising Antipho to do, the same we must do ourselves, Phædria.

  Phæd. Away with your “musts;” rather do you command me what I am to do.

  Geta. Do you remember what were your words formerly on our entering upon this project, with the view of protecting yourselves from ill consequences — that their cause was just, clear, unanswerable, and most righteous?

  Phæd. I remember it.

  Geta. Well then, now there’s need of that plea, or of one still better and more plausible, if such there can be.

  Phæd. I’ll use my best endeavors.

  Geta. Do you then accost him first; I’ll be here in reserve, by way of reinforcement, if you give ground at all.

  Phæd. Very well.

  They retire to a distance.

  Scene VI.

  Enter Demipho, at the other side of the stage.

  Dem. (to himself.) And is it possible that Antipho has taken a wife without my consent? and that no authority of mine — but let alone “authority” — no displeasure of mine, at all events, has he been in dread of? To have no sense of shame! O audacious conduct! O Geta, rare adviser!

  Geta (apart to Phædria.) Just brought in at last.

  Dem. What will they say to me, or what excuse will they find? I wonder much.

  Geta (apart.) Why, I’ve found that out already; do think of something else.

  Dem. Will he be saying this to me: “I did it against my will; the law compelled me?” I hear you, and admit it.

  Geta (apart.) Well said!

  Dem. But knowingly, in silence, to give up the cause to his adversaries — did the law oblige him to do that as well?

  Geta (apart.) That is a hard blow.

  Phæd. I’ll clear that up; let me alone for that.

  Dem. It is a matter of doubt what I am to do; for beyond expectation, and quite past all belief, has this befallen me. So enraged am I, that I can not compose my mind to think upon it. Wherefore it is the duty of all persons, when affairs are the most prosperous, then in especial to reflect within themselves in what way they are to endure adversity. Returning from abroad, let him always picture to himself dangers and losses, either offenses committed by a son, or the death of his wife, or the sickness of a daughter, — that these things are the common lot, so that no one of them may ever come as a surprise upon his feelings. Whatever falls out beyond his hopes, all that he must look upon as so much gain.

  Geta (apart.) O Phædria, it is incredible how much I surpass my master in wisdom. All my misfortunes have been already calculated upon by me, upon my master coming home. I must grind at the mill, be beaten, wear fetters, be set to work in the fields; not one individual thing of these will happen unexpected by my mind. Whatever falls out beyond my expectations, all that I shall look upon as so much gain. But why do you hesitate to accost him, and soften him at the outset with fair words?

  Phædria goes forward to accost Demipho.

  Dem. (to himself.) I see Phædria, my brother’s son, coming toward me.

  Phæd. My uncle, welcome!

  Dem. Greetings to you; but where is Antipho?

  Phæd. That you have arrived in safety ——

  Dem. I believe it; answer my question.


  Phæd. He is well; he’s close at hand; but is every thing quite to your wishes?

  Dem. I wish it was so, indeed.

  Phæd. What’s the matter?

  Dem. Do you ask me, Phædria? You people have cooked up a fine marriage in my absence.

  Phæd. What now, are you angry with him for that?

  Geta (apart.) What a clever contriver!

  Dem. Have I not reason to be angry with him? I long for him to come into my sight, that he may know that through his faultiness, from being a mild father, I am become a most severe one.

  Phæd. But he has done nothing, uncle, for which you should blame him.

  Dem. Now, do look at that; all alike; all hanging together; when you know one, you know all.

  Phæd. That is not the case.

  Dem. When the one is in fault, the other is at hand to defend him; when it is the other, then he is ready; they just help one another by turns.

  Geta (apart.) The old man, without knowing it, has exactly described their proceedings.

  Dem. For if it had not been so, you would not, Phædria, have stood up for him.

  Phæd. If, uncle, it is the fact, that Antipho has been guilty of any fault, in consequence of which he has been too regardless of his interest or his reputation, I would not allege any reason why he should not suffer what he deserves. But if some one by chance, relying upon his own artfulness, has laid a snare for our youthful age, and has succeeded, is it our fault or that of the judges, who often, through envy, take away from the rich, or, through compassion, award to the poor?

  Geta (apart.) Unless I knew the case, I could fancy he was saying the truth.

  Dem. Is there any judge who can possibly know your rights, when you yourself don’t answer a word — as he has done?

  Phæd. He acted the part of an ingenuous young man; after they had come before the judges, he was not able to say what he had intended, so much did his modesty confuse him there through his bashfulness.

  Geta (apart.) I commend him: but why do I hesitate at once to accost the old man? (Going forward to Demipho.) Master, welcome to you! I’m glad to see you safe returned.

  Dem. (ironically.) Ah, excellent guardian! save you, stay of my family, no doubt, to whom, at my departure, I intrusted my son.

  Geta. For some minutes past I’ve heard you accusing all of us undeservedly; and me the most undeservedly of them all; for what would you have had me do for you in this affair? The laws do not allow a person who is a slave to plead; nor is there any giving evidence on his part.

  Dem. I grant all that: I admit this too — the young man, unused to courts, was bashful; I allow it: you, too, are a slave: still, if she was ever so near a relative, it was not necessary for him to marry her, but as the law enjoins, you might have given her a portion; she could have looked out for another husband. Why, then, in preference, did he bring a pauper home?

  Geta. No particular reason; but he hadn’t the money.

  Dem. He might have borrowed it from some person or other.

  Geta. From some person or other? Nothing more easily said.

  Dem. After all, if on no other terms, on interest.

  Geta. Aye, aye, fine talking; as if any one would have trusted him, while you were living.

  Dem. No, it shall not be so; it must not be. Ought I to allow her to remain with him as his wife a single day? She merits no indulgence. I should like this fellow to be pointed out to me, or to be shown where he lives.

  Geta. Phormio, do you mean?

  Dem. That fellow, the woman’s next friend?

  Geta. I’ll have him here immediately.

  Dem. Where is Antipho at present?

  Geta. Away from home.

  Dem. Go, Phædria, look for him, and bring him here.

  Phæd. I’ll go straightway to the place.

  Geta (aside.) To Pamphila, you mean.

  Exeunt Phædria and Geta.

  Scene VII.

  Demipho, alone.

  Dem. (to himself.) I’ll just step home to salute the household Gods. From there, I’ll go to the Forum, and summon some of my friends to give me their assistance in this affair; so that I may not be unprepared, when Phormio comes.

  Goes into his house.

  ACT THE SECOND.

  Scene I.

  Enter Phormio and Geta.

  Phor. And so you say that, dreading his father’s presence, he has taken himself off?

  Geta. Exactly so.

  Phor. That Phanium is left alone?

  Geta. Just so.

  Phor. And that the old man is in a rage?

  Geta. Extremely so.

  Phor. The whole business, Phormio, rests on yourself alone; you yourself have hashed it up; it must all be swallowed by yourself, so set about it.

  Geta. I entreat you ——

  Phor. (to himself.) If he inquires.

  Geta. In you is all our hope.

  Phor. (to himself.) Look at this, now: — What if he sends her back?

  Geta. It was you that urged us.

  Phor. (to himself.) I think that will do.

  Geta. Do help us.

  Phor. (with alacrity.) Let the old gentleman come; all my plans are now ready prepared in my mind.

  Geta. What will you do?

  Phor. What would you have me? But that Phanium may continue with him, and that I may clear Antipho from this charge, and turn upon myself all the wrath of the old gentleman?

  Geta. O brave and kind man! But, Phormio, I often dread lest this courage may end in the stocks at last.

  Phor. Oh, by no means; I’ve made trial, and have already pondered on the paths for my feet. How many men before to-day do you suppose I have beaten, even to death, strangers as well as citizens: the better I understand it, the oftener I try it. Just tell me, look you, did you ever hear of an action of damages being brought against me?

  Geta. How is that?

  Phor. Because the net is never spread for the hawk or the kite, that do us the mischief; it is spread for those that do us none: because in the last there is profit, while with the others it is labor lost. For persons, out of whom any thing can be got, there’s risk from others; they know that I’ve got nothing. You will say: “They will take you, when sentenced, into their house;” they have no wish to maintain a devouring fellow; and, in my opinion, they are wise, if for an injury they are unwilling to return the highest benefits.

  Geta. It’s impossible that sufficient thanks can be returned you by him for your kindness.

  Phor. Why no; no person can return thanks sufficient to his patron for his kindness. For you to take your place at table at free cost, anointed and just washed at the bath, with your mind at ease, whereas he is devoured with the care and expense: while every thing is being done to give you delight, he is being vexed at heart; you are laughing away, first to drink, take the higher place; a banquet full of doubts is placed before you —

  Geta. What is the meaning of that expression?

  Phor. When you are in doubt which in especial to partake of. When you enter upon a consideration how delicious these things are, and how costly they are, the person who provides them, must you not account him a very God — neither more nor less?

  Geta. The old man is coming; take care what you are about; the first onset is the fiercest; if you stand that, then, afterward, you may play just as you please.

  They retire to a distance.

  Scene II.

  Enter, at a distance, Demipho, Hegio, Cratinus, and Crito, following him.

  Dem. Well now — did you ever hear of an injury being done to any person in a more affronting manner than this has to me? Assist me, I do beg of you.

  Geta (apart.) He’s in a passion.

  Phor. (apart.) Do you mind your cue; I’ll rouse him just now. (Stepping forward and crying aloud.) Oh immortal Gods! does Demipho deny that Phanium here is related to him?

  Geta. He does deny it.

  Dem. (to his friends.) I believe it is the very man I was speaking about. Follow me.

  They al
l come forward.

  Phor. (to Geta.) And that he knows who her father was?

  Geta. He does deny it.

  Phor. And that he knows who Stilpho was?

  Geta. He does deny it.

  Phor. Because the poor thing was left destitute, her father is disowned; she herself is slighted: see what avarice does.

  Geta (in a loud voice.) If you are going to accuse my master of avarice, you shall hear what you won’t like.

  Dem. Oh, the impudence of the fellow! Does he come on purpose to accuse me?

  Phor. For really, I have no reason why I should be offended at the young man, if he did not know him; since that person, when growing aged and poor, and supporting himself by his labor, generally confined himself to the country; there he had a piece of land from my father to cultivate; full oft, in the mean time, did the old man tell me that this kinsman of his neglected him: but what a man? The very best I ever saw in all my life.

  Geta (in a loud voice.) Look to yourself as well as to him, how you speak.

  Phor. (with affected indignation.) Away, to utter perdition, with you. For if I had not formed such an opinion of him, I should never have incurred such enmity with your family on her account, whom he now slights in such an ungenerous manner.

  Geta (aloud.) What, do you persist in speaking abusively of my master in his absence, you most abominable fellow?

  Phor. Why, it’s just what he deserves.

  Geta (aloud.) Say you so, you jail-bird?

  Dem. (calling aloud.) Geta!

  Geta (aloud.) A plunderer of people’s property — a perverter of the laws!

  Dem. (calling aloud.) Geta!

  Phor. (apart, in a low voice.) Answer him.

  Geta. Who is it? (Looking round.) Oh! ——

  Dem. Hold your peace.

  Geta. He has never left off uttering abuse against you behind your back, unworthy of you, and just befitting himself.

  Dem. Well now, have done. (Addressing Phormio.) Young man, in the first place, with your good leave, I ask you this, if you may possibly be pleased to give me an answer: explain to me who this friend of yours was, that you speak of, and how he said that he was related to me.