“Come over tonight.” I speak the words against his mouth. “I need you.”
He cups my face, searching my eyes. “What’s happening right now?”
“What’s happening is my cock is hard thinking about getting my hands on you again.”
Ben’s face relaxes, as he tugs on my belt. “I don’t have any meetings right now. You?”
Oh fuck. “No.”
He pulls my dick out, stroking it as his eyes meet mine. “Is this what you need?” I run my fingers through his hair. “You need to fuck my mouth?”
Swallowing hard, I nod. “I do.”
“What will we do tonight, Luc?”
“Whatever you want.”
With a big smile on his face, he drops to his knees and slides my cock into his mouth. I throw my head back, stuck somewhere between absolute lust and pure shock that I’m engaging in this at work. I’ve never even fucked a woman at work, and now I’m letting Ben suck me off in my office.
When I look down, he slurps and pumps my dick, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time. “You love my cock, don’t you, mate?”
“Fucking love it,” he murmurs.
“I love watching you. You’re so good. I can’t wait to tell Georgie.” He moans but keeps going. “What would sweet Kate say if she could see this?” Ben shakes his head. “I think she’d love it, mate. I think she’d help you.” I pull out and sink to my knees, kissing him hard. “She’d hold your arse cheeks open for me so I could slide in and tear you apart.”
Ben grips my shoulders. “Fuck.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing? To find a woman for you just like Georgie? Someone who wants you to be happy and fulfilled.” I suck his bottom lip. “We could have you both over and fuck all night, the four of us. Would you like that, Ben?”
“Please let me finish you.”
I shake my head. “Come over tonight. You’ll suck me. I’ll suck you, and then we’ll have a shag.” I grip his chin. “Say yes to me, Ben.”
His eyes search mine as a smile spreads on his lips. “You sexy bastard. You know how much control you have over me. You love it.”
“Who’s controlling who now? I’m the one who couldn’t keep it together. I want more.”
Ben’s brow furrows. “You’re incredible. How am I supposed to stop feeling like I do when you’ve got me like this?”
“We’ll figure it out, but Ben, we’re not done yet. Not you and me. Not us and Georgie. We’re not done.” I kiss him, gripping his neck. “Say yes to me.”
“Fuck, Luc, of course I’m saying yes. You know that. I want you so bad I can’t think straight. I fucking—” His words stop abruptly as he wraps his arms around my neck. I hold him close, rubbing his back.
“You can say it if it makes you feel better.”
He gazes at me, cupping my face. “I love you, Luc. I fucking love you so much.”
“I know.” I kiss him softly. “Come over tonight. Get your fill of me. Friday night, you’ll be with me and Georgie. Saturday night…”
“Kate.”
I nod. “You’ll figure it out. We will together. I’ve got you, mate.”
He finally cracks a smile. “I kind of wish you were an asshole and told me to go fuck myself and you never wanted to see me again.”
“No you don’t.”
“It would be easier.”
“What’s hard about this? You want me and I want you. I told Georgie that I have feelings for you too, just differently, but Ben, how could I not feel something so strong and virile when you affect me like you do?”
“I guess if I could just stop looking at what I can’t have with you, I would see how incredible what I can have is.”
“Exactly.” I kiss him again. “Let’s get off the bloody floor and pull ourselves together.” We both stand, composing ourselves once again. “Tonight then, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Once Ben is gone, I sink into my chair, rubbing my forehead. What the bloody hell came over me just now, I’ve no idea. I immediately take my phone out of my pocket and start to call Georgie but pause. This needs to be sorted between me and Ben. And maybe Kate. I have a feeling she was catching on. When Ben is ready, he’s going to have to feel it out.
For now, it’s me that needs sorting.
Chapter 27 Ben
Sitting in my office, I stare out the window in complete shock over the last hour’s events. Luc was a madman at lunch and even more so in his office. Hearing him tell me he has feelings, even knowing it’s on a different level than what I feel, was like hearing I was moving to the Executive suite or winning a million dollars or closing the biggest deal of my career. Even better, it was like hearing there’s nothing fucking wrong with me for loving a man.
My mind shifts to Kate. I don’t know how to maneuver this. On some level I think she was picking up on what happened with us. If she asks, what will I say? If she’s down with it, what will I do? I can’t expose Luc. I promised. At this point, I’m positive there will never be another man in my life. Once things are finished with Luc, that’s it. If that’s true, maybe I never have to tell her. I never have to risk her judgment or rejection. As far as she knows, I’m your typical hetero male.
∞∞∞
Standing in the elevator in Luc’s apartment building, I feel nothing but desire. When I step off, he’s waiting for me, wearing only his jeans. No shirt. Just all that sexiness on display. His jeans hang low on his waist, like a target pointing straight at his dick.
“Hi.”
He smiles. “Hi.”
I come inside and he closes the door, turning around slowly. We stand in silence searching each other’s eyes.
“Right,” he says. “I’m in no mood for coyness. I’m not hungry. I don’t need a drink. I need to take you to my bed and do whatever the fuck I want. You in?”
My eyes widen. “I don’t know when or where you found this dominant confidence with me, but I fucking like it.”
He steps forward, gripping the back of my neck. “Yeah, well, there comes a time when the only choice is to embrace the beautiful things in life, regardless of how they found you.”
“I’m a beautiful thing in your life?”
“I am a truly blessed man, Ben. You are a reason I am blessed. You are beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, passionate, and I no longer give a damn about anything other than what we have together. I don’t care what it makes me. To me, all it makes me is a lucky bastard who can have his cake and eat it too.” He leans in and presses his lips against mine. “Now, let me take you to bed.”
“Lead the way.”
Once we hit the threshold of the bedroom, Luc’s lips are on mine. His fingers twist in my hair, aggressively pulling at me to expose my neck, where he kisses and sucks. I can’t even catch my breath. Gone is any sort of hesitation. This is a man confident in what he wants and how he plans to get it.
He pulls at my jeans, unzipping them and sliding his hand inside to grasp my cock while our mouths stay firmly locked.
“I love touching you,” he whispers on my lips. “You’re so hard in my hand right now. I want it.”
“It’s yours, Luc. All of me is yours.”
He walks me back until we’re leaning against the bed, tearing at each other’s clothes until we’re both naked. Luc moves from my neck to my chest, sucking and biting my nipples as I tangle my fingers in his hair. He flashes those eyes up to me with a slight smirk on his face. Why is he so good at everything he does?
When his mouth meets my dick, he flicks his tongue over the tip. He grips my hips and drags his tongue along the underside. “Tell me what feels best to you. Teach me.”
“You already know. Instinctively.”
He swallows me, slowly pulling back as each inch leaves his mouth. “Are you sure?”
Reaching down, I cup his chin. “Let’s get in the bed.” Luc starts to move down, but I stop him. “Straddle me. Your dick over my face.”
Luc grins. “Now you’re talking, mate.”
I su
ck Luc into my mouth as he does the same to me. I spread my legs wide, knowing he’ll understand what to do by following my lead. I take a moment to suck my index finger then find his opening. I feel his body tense, but then relax as he exhales. A moment later, I feel his finger, rubbing first my taint, then moving back to my entrance. He pushes in, causing me to moan. Finding his pace, he works me so well I won’t last long much longer. I shift away, scooting down until I can kiss his mouth.
“Will you fuck me?”
“With absolute pleasure. I already have the coconut oil.”
I grin, biting my bottom lip. How did I get so fucking lucky to find someone like Luc? Not just as a friend, but the lover he’s become. He’s everything I could want except… I don’t have time to process the next thought since Luc is already lifting my leg and pressing the tip of his engorged cock into me.
“I’ve waited all day for this, mate. All day.” I close my eyes as he slides his length into me. “Fucking a woman is nice.” I open my eyes. “Fucking Georgie is incredible, but fucking you…” He grins. “Indescribable.”
I’m totally blown away.
“Keep your eyes on me, Ben. I want to look at you. I want to see them. You beautiful man.”
I nod, fighting back the emotion pushing its ways to the surface. Gripping my leg, he pounds into me, knowing not only can I take it hard, I want it hard. His free hand finds mine, gripping it as he tears me up. The pleasure is overwhelming, but even more than that, the freedom Luc feels with me. I never thought a man like him would give me such a gift.
He watches me, searching my eyes. His lips look ready to speak, but he remains silent, increasing the intensity of his fucking.
“God, you’re perfect, Luc. So fucking perfect.”
A slight smile pulls at his lips as he cups my face. “So are you, Ben. I hope you know it.” Luc shifts his attention to my dick, jacking me off as he pounds into me. It’s like the man has been fucking with dicks for years. I throw my head back, succumbing to the orgasm that taunted me the last several minutes. Luc comes, pulling out and spurting his hot essence all over my chest, then falling forward into my arms. I hold him close so he can’t see the tears streaming down my face. I’ve never experienced anything this powerful in my entire life. Never had this connection with any person, male or female. I want this to last forever, but there’s no way it can. After a few minutes, he rolls off of me, but keeps me close.
We lie together while I stare at the ceiling. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, but I know it can’t last. There’s only one way this is ending, and it isn’t going to be good. I don’t want to say what I’m about to say, but I have to.
“Luc?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t think we should do this anymore.”
I feel his body tense next to me and then he’s hovering above me. “What? What fucking changed that fast? We just had a magnificent time. Fucking epic. I thought you loved it. I thought you loved me. What changed?”
I put my finger over his lips to stop him, fighting back the tears that tease my eyes. “Nothing changed, Luc. I love it.” I nod. “I love you. But…” I exhale slowly. “It’s too much. Too familiar. Too good. I’m afraid of…” I blink my eyes. I may suck dick, but I’m not crying in front of him.
He moves my hand. “Talk to me.”
I sit up slightly, leaning against the headboard. “I’m afraid that the more we do this alone, the more I’ll want to, and the less I’ll want to share. The less I’ll want to be with Kate or any other woman.”
He shakes his head. “No. Unreasonable fear. You fucking love women. Tell me if Georgie was here right now, you wouldn’t happily bury your face between her legs. Tell me the thought doesn’t turn you on and I won’t bloody believe you. You’re reacting to the…” He shakes his head. “I don’t know. The passion between us. The afterglow. The acceptance.” My eyes open wide. “That’s it.” Luc smiles. “That’s it, Ben. That’s why you feel so good with me. It’s why you love me. Because with me, you can be yourself. You can feel all the things you want to feel. It’s blurring your sense of reason.” He cups my face. “You’re not broken. You’re not wrong. You’re not gay or bi. You’re just Ben. I’m just me. And together, we’re just us.”
I nod, realizing he’s not going to let me back out easily. “You’re right. You are. I’m freaking out for no reason.”
“Exactly.” He pinches my chin. “Georgie will remind you how much you love women.”
I nod, knowing I’m not joining in, but not wanting to have that talk right now. I need some fucking space. “Yeah.”
“Good.” He lies down, pulling me close and wrapping his arm around me. “Let’s get some sleep.”
“Night.” He kisses the back of my head as I let silent tears stream down my face. I can’t do it anymore, and it’s breaking my heart.
∞∞∞
In the morning, I crawl out of bed and pad into the living room, sitting on the couch. I rub my forehead, replaying the things we did last night. Georgie comes home today and that’s good. Luc will want to see her. I consider for a moment making a date to see Kate, but then remember Georgie’s words of caution not to use her to validate my love of women. I pick up my phone and do a quick search for porn. Just straight, hetero, man on woman porn. I watch for several minutes, a man licking the shit out of a woman with huge tits. When my dick starts to twitch, I feel a strange sense of hope. I wish this never happened. I should’ve stayed blissfully unaware of what Luc could be. I squeeze my eyes shut for a minute to block out thoughts of Luc, then open them to continue watching the movie. My erection grows and I start to stroke it. Is this enough to prove to me that I’m still the same man I always was? Just because I fucked up and fell in love with my best friend doesn’t mean I changed. It just means I’m capable of having feelings for someone truly special and important to me. That’s all it fucking means.
“Ben?” I jump up, dropping my phone. His eyes shift to the phone, then back to me, down to my dick, then back to my eyes. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” I grab my phone from the floor and close the screen. “Did I wake you?”
“Were you watching porn?”
“Yeah.”
“Straight porn?”
I look away from him. “Maybe.”
“Okay, mate, do what you have to do.” He scratches his beard. “Do you want espresso?”
“No. I should go. I want to shower and I already have two of your suits.”
“Whatever.”
I know he’s mad, but he doesn’t understand. I stomp to the bedroom to find my clothes and quickly dress. When I walk out, he’s sitting on the couch, completely naked, sipping his espresso and staring out the window.
“I’ll see you later, Luc.”
“Will you?” He doesn’t look at me.
“At work.”
“Oh. I thought this was the beginning of avoiding me.” He shoots an intense look in my direction. “Is that what we’re doing now? If you pretend I don’t exist, then the attraction doesn’t either? We’ll just forget everything that’s happened, and you’ll go fuck your pretty little Kate and feel like a man again. Is that it?”
I narrow my eyes. “Fuck you, Luc.”
“Ay, we’ve already done that, mate. That’s how we got here.”
“You don’t understand, okay.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “Oh that’s a good one. I don’t understand. You’re right. How could I? I’m just a straight bloke who’s never fucked a man, nor wanted to, I might add, in my entire life, yet I willingly and purposely did so on numerous occasions with you. I can see how you would think it a foreign concept to me to question my sexuality. You’re absolutely right.”
I glare at him. “That’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean then, Ben? You’re sat out here by yourself watching two strangers shag on a tiny screen. You told me last night you were done. You don’t think I know what you’re doing?” He stands and walk
s so that he’s right in front of me. “Tell you what.” He pats my chest. “Go. Do whatever you bloody want to do. I won’t beg you to stay with me.” He turns and walks away.
I start to leave but stop. “Luc?”
He pauses, keeping his back turned to me. “What?”
“It’s not about my sexuality. Not entirely.”
“Then what is it about?”
I walk up behind him, dragging my hands down his back. “I need a little space to clear my head.”
He turns slowly. “You want to forget me?”
“I don’t think that’s possible. I want…” I exhale slowly, avoiding his eyes. “I want to go back to lust only. Fun. I don’t want to feel like I leave a part of me with you every time we’re together.” I run my fingers through my hair. “When Georgie comes back, it’ll change again. I don’t want to hurt when we’re together.”
His face falls. “I’m hurting you when we’re together?”
I shake my head. “When we part. We’re too close. I’m too attached.”
He nods. “I see. This isn’t how I expected anything to work out. I thought we would just fuck around a bit, you know.” I nod. “I never thought either of us would get so attached. I certainly never thought I would be so into you and this thing we have.”
“Neither did I. I was always attracted, but I didn’t expect it to turn into real emotions. You need your space with Georgie, and I need to clear my head.”
“So why can’t we just talk it out like the friends we are? Why are you shutting down and pushing me away? I would understand. Don’t you know I would understand you?”
I tried last night, but—”
“No, you tried a bullshit excuse.”
I nod. “You’re right. I had to work through it.”
“Right. So am I telling Georgie you’re not coming?”
“Yeah.”
“Ever?”
“I don’t know, Luc. I want to more than anything.” I squeeze my eyes shut, until I feel Luc grab me behind the neck and pull me into his chest. He holds me close, dragging his hand down my back. I don’t want to, but the tears come, and I can’t hold them back anymore. My body shakes and Luc’s hold on me tightens. He kisses the top of my head, and it’s the kindest gesture anyone has ever given me.
The Thing About Us: A MMF Bisexual Romance Page 16