After a few minutes, he steps back, bending his head to meet my eyes. “Better?”
I laugh, wiping my eyes. “God, I’m a fucking pussy.”
“You’re not, Ben. I’m gobsmacked you feel safe enough with me to let your emotions out. Honored. Humbled.” He pinches my chin. “You’re even handsome with tears in your eyes.”
“You’re amazing, Luc. Such an amazing person.”
He places his hands on my shoulders. “Take time if you need it, mate. Just know that we want you. I want you. Georgie wants you. If you don’t want us anymore, or can’t, we’ll understand. I can let you go as a lover if I must, but I won’t ever let you go as a friend. Do you understand? Never.”
“I got it.” I wipe my eyes again. “Believe me, Luc, I would love to spend every night next to you and Georgie.”
“And maybe Kate?” Luc smiles. “Why can’t we? That’s a lot cake, yeah? I have a feeling Kate might be open to it. You noticed at lunch, right?”
I nod. “I noticed. I just need to get my head in a different place. I need to approach all of this, and you, differently. It’s been intense since it started, and now I have to take a step back to collect myself.”
Luc nods. “I’m sorry, Ben. I am so sorry. I never ever wanted to hurt you. I only wanted us to have it all.”
“Don’t ever apologize for being more than I could’ve dreamed.”
“Can I kiss you?”
I laugh. “You have to ask?”
“Just making sure.”
“Yeah, Luc, you can kiss me.”
With his thumbs, he wipes my eyes, then leans in and presses his lips on mine. I exhale when his tongue mixes with mine. Why does it have to be so good to kiss this man? Why did I have to fall for him? Now I’ve made it weird. I’ve made it hard.
When he steps back, he cups my cheek. “I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk or cry or shag. Whatever you want, mate.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Still going out with Kate?”
“I think so, but I need to think about that too. Make sure my intentions are in the right place.”
“Smart.”
“I try to be.” I smile. “In case this is the last time, I uh, I just want to tell you that it’s been perfect. All of it. Thank you.”
“Take the time you need, but do me a favor?”
“What?”
“Remember for me, there is nothing bloody wrong with you, or what we’ve done, or how you feel about me.”
I nod. “I will.”
∞∞∞
Sitting at my desk hours later, I stare at my computer screen unable to work. My head is a jumbled mess. I want to go to Luc’s office and throw myself on his desk. I want him to love me. Or I want to stop loving him. I’m so torn. Do I just try to go with it and be Georgie and Luc’s permanent third wheel? Do I pretend he loves me because he lets me touch him? I put my head on the desk. I don’t know what to do and the person I would ask for help is the reason I’m so fucked up.
“Ben?”
I look up at the sound of his voice. “Hey, Luc.”
“You okay?”
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“Me neither.” He gestures to the chair. “Can I sit?”
“Yeah.”
“I spoke with Georgie about it all. Told her your decision and what you needed.”
I nod. “And she told me to quit being a fucking pussy?”
Luc laugh softly. “No, she said she was gutted. The three of us together make her happy, and it doesn’t feel right without you.”
I chew on my lip, staring at my desk.
“Ben?”
I force my eyes up to meet his. “She said if you needed her, she’ll be there for you. Always.”
My eyes start to tear, so I lift my head, trying to blink them back.
“Now I’m talking, mate.”
I meet his intense gaze.
“Seeing you in pain is killing me. Knowing I caused it—”
“You didn’t. I caused it. I let my feelings get away from me. It’s my fault.”
“Is it my fault I fell in love with Georgie?”
“That’s different.”
“How exactly?”
“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “Maybe because she’s an option. You never were for me. I should have guarded my heart better.”
He reaches for my hand and I give it to him. “Come to dinner with us. We’ll talk it out. I said I would give you space, but I cannot sit back and let you suffer. I won’t. Neither will Georgie.”
“Dinner?”
“Yeah, we’ll go somewhere nice and talk like mature adults.” He grins. “No shagging allowed.”
I laugh, squeezing his hand. “Okay. I’d like that.”
“We can meet Georgie somewhere near here.”
“Great. Thanks for caring so much.”
He tilts his head. “I always have.”
After Luc leaves, my spirits are slightly lifted. Having Georgie there will help. Or we’ll all end up in someone’s bed again. I realize the time and grab my phone to go to my next meeting. It’s staff and Luc will be there. At least we cleared the air somewhat.
As I’m walking down the hall, Kate is heading straight for me. “Hey.”
She smiles. “Hi. I was on my way to see you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. One of the guys in our area has some free concert tickets he’s giving away. It’s just, like, a local band, but I thought if you weren’t busy, maybe we could go.”
My brow furrows. “Oh, man, I wish I could. I already have plans tonight.”
Her face falls. “Oh? Doing what?”
“Just dinner with some friends.”
“Luc?”
I notice her tone leaning close to jealousy. “Luc and Georgie.”
“Oh. Not something you can postpone?”
Definitely jealousy. “No.” I glance down the hall at the conference room. “Listen, I have to go, but I’ll call you and we’ll confirm our plans for Saturday.”
“Sure. Okay.”
She smiles, but I can tell she’s disappointed. And this is why I typically avoid work hook ups. I find a seat in the conference room as it fills and Luc sits across from me. He offers a brief smile, then looks down at his agenda. I try to summon my usual demeanor for these things. When Jake walks in, all the chatter stops as he sits in the seat at the head of the table.
“Good afternoon, all.”
We all mumble various replies.
“I want to start with an announcement.” He looks at Luc and nods.
Luc stands and glances around the room. “Right, so in case you haven’t heard, our third quarter receivables have reached a new level, largely in part to this gentleman across from me, Ben Atkinson.” My eyes open wide. “Ben successfully closed a three-year contract with Bainbridge Tech.” Everyone starts clapping and congratulating me. I nod, smiling. It’s the first time I’ve ever been publicly recognized for my efforts. I have no idea why Luc is the one who did it, but it makes it even better. “Would you like to say a few words, Ben?”
I stand, looking around the room. “I guess I’ll start with thanks. It takes a village to pull off an account presentation like that one. I worked with IT and accounting and many marketing interns.” I turn to Luc. “Luc gave up many hours of his time to mentor me, and so, a special thanks to you for the added support.” Luc nods, with a slight smile, completely confident, cool, and his normally composed sophisticated self. “I’m proud to work here and proud of us as a team. I’m thankful to be a part of it. Thank you.”
More clapping and then the door opens and Leah and another girl bring in a huge cake. Jake actually cracks a smile. “With the Bainbridge account, along with the overall sales growth combined, we have the strongest position we’ve had in the history of the company. All of you deserve a round of applause and at least a slice of cake.”
The two women slice cake and hand it out to the group. L
uc takes a bite of his cake, grinning. He lifts his fork to me. “Cheers, mate. Job well done.”
“Thanks in part to you.”
“I take no credit.” He takes another bite. “This is delicious.”
Mara, sitting next to Luc, nods. “It’s so good. Maybe the best cake I’ve ever had.”
I take a bite, nodding appreciatively. “Very good.”
“I just love cake,” Mara continues. “I seriously could eat it every day.”
Luc smiles. “When it’s this good, it’s worth the indulgence. Do you agree, Ben?”
Offering a slight smile, I nod. “I absolutely agree.”
∞∞∞
At ten to five I turn off my computer and stand up to freshen myself up a bit. I throw a mint in my mouth and retuck my shirt. I walk out to the hall to see Luc already heading in my direction.
“Ready? Georgie’s meeting us at Bestia.”
“How’d we get reservations for that on short notice?”
“I asked the same. She said she has friends in high places.”
“Good to have those.”
“And now we do too.”
I nod, stepping on to the elevator with him. “Kate asked me to go to a concert tonight.”
“Oh.” He glances at me. “Did you want you to go?”
“No. I wanted to be exactly where I’m at.”
“So we’re doing better than we were this morning?”
“So far. Weren’t you supposed to be hanging with her alone tonight?”
“When I told her what happened with us she rearranged things.” He brushes his hand against mine. “That’s how important you are to us.”
“Do you feel that way?” Luc’s brow furrows. “Are you disappointed you’re not alone with her?”
“No, I’m not. As I said earlier, I cannot be happy if you’re not.”
“Thank you.”
The door opens and we step off. Outside the office, Luc hails a cab to take us to the restaurant. Once seated in the back, I nudge his thigh. “Kate was a little off.”
“What do you mean?”
“I said I had plans and she asked doing what, but it was her tone. It was…I don’t know. Possessive maybe.”
“Uh oh. Kiss of death, mate. You’ve been on one date?”
“One. And an impromptu lunch. That’s it.”
“Be mindful of that. Especially at work.”
“I know. It could’ve been nothing. You know. I was rushing to the meeting.”
“Just the same. The last thing you need is drama.”
“I create plenty on my own.”
Luc shoves my arm and I shove him back. We end up play punching each other like brothers and laughing hard enough the driver looks at us in the rear view mirror. It reminds me of how things used to be before it all got so complicated.
We pull up in front of the restaurant, and I feel a flutter in my stomach. Georgie has a way of twisting both of us so much we’ll end up on our knees at her feet doing whatever she wants. Not to mention this is the first time I’m seeing her since they decided to become a couple.
Once inside we both look around and then twist when Georgie attacks us from behind. “My boys! I missed you both.” She kisses Luc on the mouth, slowly, as his hand moves up her back. Then she turns to me, smiling, and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Thank you for coming.” She leans in and kisses me softly.
“Thanks for asking.”
“We already have a table. Follow me.” Georgie leads the way and we all sit at an intimate little table near the back. The lighting is dim and it’s a great date atmosphere. “Anything exciting happen today?”
Luc nods. “Indeed it did. Ben was recognized for his achievement in securing the Bainbridge account. We even had ourselves a cake.”
Her eyes open wide. “Cake at work?”
“Literal cake, love.”
She laughs, throwing back all that gorgeous hair. She turns to me and squeezes my hand. “Congratulations, Ben.”
“Thanks.”
“It won’t be long until he moves up to the Executive suite.”
I sip my water. “Where you could be tomorrow if you wanted to.”
Georgie tilts her head. “What do you mean?”
Luc twists his lips. “Nothing.”
“No, it’s something. Jake, our department head, has been pushing Luc to become a Regional VP, but he won’t do it.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t want the hassle. I’m perfectly fine doing what I do now.”
“Jake, like the rest of us, knows how great he’d be as a manager. He would push people to achieve their best. Just like he did for me.”
“Because I wanted to. Not because my performance depends on it.”
I roll my eyes. “You could nail those goals in your sleep. You know it. I don’t know why you’re scared.”
“I’m not scared. I’m comfortable. There’s a difference.”
I nod. “Fair enough. Comfort zones are great, aren’t they? You learn so much by staying in them.”
Luc grins before shoving my arm. “Enough about me. How was your trip, darling?”
“Decent. I had to train three new trainers. They seem smart and full of initiative which helps me in the long run. Unlike you, I’m dying to get to the next level so I don’t have to travel so much.”
“Exactly what Luc could look forward to.”
“And you.”
“Oh, the minute I’m offered a promotion, I’m in. In fact, if you would just take yours, you’d clear the way.” I wink. “Just saying.”
“Ah, the ulterior motive.”
“Yeah, but then you’d be my boss. You could tell me what to do. Don’t tell me you wouldn’t like that?”
Georgie grins. “Are we still talking about work?”
I clear my throat. “We are.”
“Well that’s not why we’re here.” We pause while the server takes our drink order. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you? Why you don’t want us anymore?”
I glance at Luc. “That’s not exactly what I said.”
“It’s what I heard. So explain it yourself.”
I lower my eyes and stare at the table for a moment, trying to figure out what I have to say. Luc rubs my arm in a comforting manner, so I take a deep breath and meet Georgie’s curious gaze.
“I’m fucked up, Georgie. I’m in love with your man.”
Her brow crinkles. “My man? Come on, Ben. Knock that shit off. This is me you’re talking to. I’ve known how you felt about Luc since the first night we hung together. That’s not what this is about.”
“It is, because it shifted for me. I can’t just fuck around and pretend it’s not affecting me.”
“Affecting you how?”
We pause again when the drinks arrive and quickly order dinner. My eyes meet Luc’s, and he looks so sad. I make him sad.
“When this thing started, I was attracted to Luc. And you of course.” She nods. “But then it shifted and it’s deeper than an attraction.”
“I know. Get to the part where you don’t want to be with us anymore.”
“Why do you want me there?”
She pulls her head back. “That’s a stupid question. Because “the three of us are magic, Ben. Fucking magic. Our bond is so much deeper than sex and you know it. None of us thought a silly three-way date would turn into what it is, but that’s what’s so amazing. Other people couldn’t do it, but the thing about us, Ben, is we were meant for each other.”
“Meant for each other? There’s three of us.”
“Can you honestly say you would be happy without us?”
“No, but I don’t know if I can be happy with you either. You and Luc have your other thing, separate from me. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
“Ben—”
She stops when Luc touches her hand. “Let him go, love. He’s made up his mind.”
She narrows her eyes. “You both are annoying the fuck out of me. Ser
iously.” She takes a long swig of wine. “Here I thought I had the most amazing, bravest, incredible men on the planet, but at the end day, you’re both just big babies.”
Luc’s eyes widen. “Babies?”
“Yes. Babies.”
“I don’t think name calling is necessary.”
She glares at me. “You’re the worst. Being a martyr for love. Sacrificing your own happiness.”
I lean across the table. “What the fuck do you want me to do, Georgie?”
“Stay with us. Make love with us. Eat breakfast and drink coffee and go dancing with us.”
“When you want me around. When it works for you. The rest of the time, what do I do, Georgie? I sit in my apartment and wait to be summoned? I wait for one of you to want me and call? Is that it?”
Her face falls. “God, Ben. I’m so sorry.” She shakes her head. “I’m awful.”
“You’re not, Georgie. Your heart is good. It’s just not as simple as it sounds.”
“No I guess it’s not.” She smiles, but it’s sad. “I guess I’m just being greedy.”
“You’re not, love. All of this is my fault.”
“Stop, Luc. Please.” I smile. “I want the two of you to be happy. I want you to build a life together. I don’t want to be a footnote on that.”
Our food is delivered and we eat quietly for several minutes. I glance up and Georgie is watching me. I can see on her face she has so much to say, so I help her out.
“What?”
“Are we still friends?”
“Of course. I love you guys.”
She nods. “Well then come over tonight.” Luc starts to speak, but she puts her hand over his. “Come over and we’ll watch a movie and hang out on the couch and just be friends.”
I want to so badly I can feel my heart beating in my chest. When my eyes meet Luc’s, my breath catches.
“Is that what you want, Luc?”
“Absolutely. I would love it.”
“Why?”
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it now. No matter what, you will always be my best mate. Always. This woman and you are my world.”
The Thing About Us: A MMF Bisexual Romance Page 17