Safe Harbor

by Welch, HJ

  “Nice to meet you,” Dair replied. “So, you’re the big bro?”

  “That doesn’t make him the boss,” Kestrel piped up from the floor.

  “She’s definitely the boss,” Swift said with a chuckle. “Who can say no to the baby?”

  “Nobody, it’s my superpower.”

  “Kestrel, please get off the floor and set the table.” Robin’s mom sounded slightly exasperated.

  Kestrel hugged Smudge tighter on her chest and turned her big eyes on Swift. “But I couldn’t possibly move the adorable puppy!” she cried with a pout.

  “See?” Swift sighed and went to go grab the cutlery.

  “So, Dair,” Jay said, always the conversation starter. “You’re a mechanic?” Dair came and sat by Robin again, opposite Jay.

  “Yep,” Dair replied, pride clear in his voice. “I went into the Marines right out of high school, then trained as an engineer equipment mechanic. I moved into operations later, then switched to regular cars when I came back home.”

  “A practical man, I like it.” Robin’s dad waved a pair of tongs from where he was dishing up by the stove.

  Robin listened while his family asked Dair about his life in Seattle, carefully skirting around the issue of his breakup with Malory when it came up. They seemed to accept his explanation of discovering his bisexuality without question.

  Robin loved his family, but it sounded hilarious to his ears that Dair would have some sort of sexual awakening because of him. They were apparently buying it, though, so he continued to play along.

  Robin’s mom told them Ava, the sister between the twins and Kestrel, was going to be late but had texted to say they should go ahead and eat. The only sibling living at home right now was Kestrel. Everyone else had their own place in town and was just visiting for the evening. But as the wine and beers flowed with dinner, Robin got the impression everyone would be staying over. Except them. Their bags were still in Dair’s trunk and Dair declined Robin’s dad’s offer of a second beer as he’d be driving.

  “We’re going to stay at one of the motels,” Robin explained. “The pet-friendly one. I didn’t get a chance to book a room yet, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

  In truth, he was going to book two rooms to give them both some space. If anyone asked, he’d say the second one was for Peyton. She’d share with him once she arrived, after all. But even if he and Dair got a room with two beds, that felt like a step too far. They were getting to be better friends, it was true. But sharing like that so soon would be too much.

  That was the plan, anyway.

  “A motel?” his mom asked in horror as she passed around a bowl of green beans. “Robin, you can’t be serious.”

  “Mom, it’s fine.” He wanted to be firm without making a big deal of it. However, it became quickly apparent that he was totally outnumbered.

  “You’re taking Smudgy Budgie away from me?” Kestrel scooped the puppy into her arms in horror.

  “Dude, Swift and I are both staying,” said Jay as he swirled his glass of red wine. “How else do you think I’m going to make it to class tomorrow?”

  “Jay teaches drama at our old high school,” Robin explained to Dair, giving himself a moment to scramble around for some composure. Dear lord, they weren’t actually going to try and convince him and Dair to stay here, were they? Share Robin’s old room? His heart began to race in panic.

  “And I made sure I didn’t have a client first thing,” Swift added, nodding at Dair. “I’m a personal trainer.”

  “Does this mean I don’t have to go to school tomorrow?” Kestrel asked, waggling her eyebrows.

  “No,” said several voices in chorus from around the table.

  Robin’s mom looked stricken. “Come on, Bobbin. You can’t bail on us. You guys are the guests of honor!”

  “Mom,” Robin started, looking to Jay for help. To be fair, his twin’s expression was sympathetic, but he wasn’t exactly jumping in to help Robin out either. So Robin glanced at Dair, who raised his eyebrows, clearly unsure what to do.

  How did Robin fight this without sounding completely suspicious? As far as his family knew, he and Dair shared a bed all the time. So he went for a different approach.

  “We – we wouldn’t want to put you out by making up any beds.”

  Kestrel snorted. “Like she didn’t do all that laundry yesterday. Who do you think got pillowcase duty?” She pointed at her chest.

  “It’s no trouble at all.” Robin’s mom had a hint of pleading to her voice. “We haven’t seen you in months, honey. We’d really like to make the most of the visit. But I understand if it’s too much for Alasdair?” She turned her wide eyes on him.

  Robin squeezed his hand twice under the table, like Dair had done to him outside the house. Ultimately, this came down to what Dair – the straight guy between them – felt comfortable with.

  “Wow. Whose cat died?” Ava strode into the kitchen in her biker leathers, helmet cradled under her arm. Her chestnut curls tumbled around her shoulders as she entered the room smelling strongly of firewood. “Oh, look. There’s a puppy. That’s new. How are you all sad when there’s a puppy?”

  “Mom’s not angry with Robin for ditching us for a motel,” Kestrel said devilishly. “Just disappointed. That’s Dair, by the way. He was a Marine. This is his puppy, Smudge, that I’m stealing.”

  Ava paused where she stood, midway through dishing up some dinner into a Tupperware box. She held her fist out for Dair to bump. “Cool, man. Robin, do what Mom says.” She stuffed a roll into her mouth, nodded at the rest of the table, then walked out the door again.

  “Ava’s not staying,” Robin protested as the front door slammed behind her. He could feel the back of his neck heating up and his breaths getting shallow. Not that he didn’t appreciate what his family was saying. But he and Dair couldn’t sleep in the same bed. They just couldn’t.

  “Ava lives ten minutes away,” Robin’s dad pointed out evenly, carefully dissecting a potato. “I’m sorry this is a surprise to you, son. But we all assumed you’d just stay here.”

  “You can stay at the motel if you really want, though,” said Swift, ever the peacemaker.

  “But why waste the money?” Damn Jay for having the foolproof argument. None of them were struggling financially, but who would willingly throw hundreds of bucks down the drain when they had a perfectly good place to stay?

  As much as Robin didn’t want to hurt his family, this was ultimately not about them. Dating or faking, he wanted Dair to be comfortable and happy. So Robin turned to him, ignoring everyone else and the rushing in his ears, and looked him in the eyes.

  “It’s up to you. This is a lot to take on in one day.”

  There might as well have been no one else in the room as Dair broke into a beautiful smile. He raised Robin’s hand and kissed the back of it, then rubbed the knuckles with his thumb.

  “Of course I’m happy to stay here with your family, babe. Thank you so much for offering, Mrs. Coal.”

  “Deb.” She waved her hand and blinked her eyes. Oh crap, was she tearful? Robin bit his lip. She was already charmed by Dair, he could tell. He couldn’t blame her, but damn it was going to upset her when it all ‘ended.’ “Wonderful, that’s wonderful. Who wants dessert?”

  “We haven’t finished-” Robin’s dad began, gesturing to the table still mostly filled with food. But his mom was already up, pouring more drinks and getting a banana cream pie out of the fridge.

  Robin looked at Dair, then squeezed his hand twice, trying to say ‘I’m sorry.’ But Dair shook his head ever so slightly and leaned in. His lips brushed against Robin’s ear, and he had to work damned hard not to shiver.

  “It’s fine. Don’t worry.” Dair’s words were barely a murmur. No one else could have heard. “Just relax.”

  Robin did his best.

  But all throughout the rest of dinner, then the drinks and chat afterward, he felt like he had a hand wrapped around his heart. His breaths weren’t quite de
ep enough and his vision swam every now and again.

  Alasdair Epping was going to spend the night in his childhood bedroom. He was going to have to fake it for a whole week here in front of Robin’s family, twenty-four seven. This was all a terrible mistake. And for what? To try and prove something to Mac? To the town?

  Robin didn’t need a boyfriend to define him. He knew Dair had some idea that Mac was dangerous, but that was crazy. They’d played rough as teenagers, but Mac would never actually hurt Robin, not physically. The worst he’d realistically have to face was an awkward conversation, which he would probably still have to face with this whole ‘boyfriend’ situation.

  He could have faced Mac alone, but here he was now having to bedshare with the man he had a huge, embarrassing crush on. There was no way this wasn’t going to end in disaster. He could feel the edges of that box in his chest heaving under the strain.

  All too soon, the yawning began. Jay and Swift had work in the morning, Kestrel had school, and Robin’s parents had always been early birds rather than night owls. As the general procession began upstairs to bed, Robin and Dair fetched their cases from the car as well as Smudge’s bed. They set him up in the kitchen, hoping it wouldn’t be destroyed come morning.

  Robin felt like he was in a daze as he led Dair upstairs, toward his room. This was it. No going back now.

  “I’m so sorry!” Robin blurted in a whisper as soon as the door to his room was closed. “My family are maniacs. We don’t have to share a bed. I’ll sleep on the floor. It’s fine.”

  But Dair didn’t even seem to hear him for a moment. He was too busy looking around Robin’s old room.

  It hadn’t changed much since he’d left after high school, except the photos of him and Mac had been burned under Jay’s supervision. It looked like his folks had possibly repainted at some point during the few years since Robin had last been back. The walls looked fresh and things weren’t exactly where he remembered them being. But he still had his cork board hanging up, filled with photos and flyers and ticket stubs from his teenage years. The door to his built-in wardrobe was open and appeared to have his mom or his sisters’ winter clothes hanging in it. But his old mirror was still on the inside with the rainbow stickers he’d added around the edges when he and Jay had first come out at thirteen.

  That would all be tolerable, but the posters of koalas tacked to the walls and behind the door made Robin bite his lip and wince. There had been some of popstars and actors before, Robin was sure. But his parents had just kept all the fuzzy, cuddly koalas. There was a big stuffed koala on the bed too.

  He cringed and glanced at Dair. “Not exactly a bachelor pad,” he said, weakly attempting to make a joke.

  But Dair grinned at him. “It’s cute. It’s very you.”

  Was it?

  Dair picked up his duffle bag and dropped it on the bed. “I hope I wasn’t too much back there, kissing your hand and stuff. I just thought it would be good to play along. And your family aren’t maniacs, they’re lovely. It’s normal to think you’d want to share a room with your boyfriend. But don’t worry. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor at all.”

  Really? He was going to brush off Robin’s childish, geeky bedroom just like that? What a relief. But that left them with their original position of the sleeping arrangement.

  “No, no.” Robin couldn’t have Dair sacrificing himself to the floor. “This whole situation is my fault. I’ll take the floor.”

  Dair considered the bed. “It looks big enough for two. Besides, if anyone walked in, they’d think we had a fight. Unless you kick in your sleep, I’m happy to share.”

  How was this situation getting worse? Robin wasn’t going to banish Dair to the floor after everything he was doing to help him. But he got the impression Dair wouldn’t let Robin martyr himself either. Besides, he was right. If anyone saw them, their ruse might be up.

  But Dair would be so close. And sleeping. It didn’t get much more intimate than that.

  A thought suddenly occurred to Robin. If he made a big deal of this, Dair might guess that Robin wasn’t comfortable. If he asked why, Robin would struggle to keep the lid down tight on his dumb crush box, he was sure. So he plastered a bright smile on his face and did his best to make his heartbeat calm down.

  “Sure, no problem. Yeah, that makes sense. Totally fine.” Robin took a deep breath and forced himself to stop babbling. “Do you want to use the bathroom first?”

  Dair smiled and unclipped the top of his bag. “No, you go. I need to dig for my toothbrush.”

  Robin didn’t know if he should go as fast as he could or dawdle. Mac had never stayed the night while they’d been dating as teenagers. Robin’s parents had been keen to maintain some boundaries. So he’d never had to do this particular dance across the hall with anyone, knowing his immediate family was around, risking bumping into a boyfriend in his underwear or something equally embarrassing. But the universe was kind to them for once as it sounded like everyone else was already in bed.

  After brushing his teeth, flossing and rinsing with mouthwash (because he’d die if Dair smelled any bad breath from him), Robin dashed back across the hall. He almost knocked before going back into his own room. Was that weird? Probably. Instead, he cleared his throat and hit his knuckles against the wood before turning the door handle at half speed. In theory, that would give Dair enough time to cover his junk if he was naked.

  Dear lord. Robin couldn’t decide if a naked Dair would be amazing or just give him a genuine heart attack.

  He was greeted with a halfway scenario. Dair was not in fact naked. But he was only wearing a pair of tight briefs and a tank top with a logo so faded it was unreadable. Even after three months of living together, Robin had never seen Dair so intimately. But Dair seemed totally oblivious.

  “Found my toothbrush,” he said cheerfully, waving it at Robin. “Is the bathroom easy enough to find?”

  Robin nodded and pointed weakly. “Second door on the right,” he managed to croak.

  In record time, Robin hurriedly changed into long pajama pants and a T-shirt while Dair was doing his thing. He turned off the main light and just left his bedside lamp on, thinking it would be easier to plunge them into darkness once Dair returned. But as soon as the door opened, Robin realized from his position lying in the bed that he’d accidentally set the scene for a seduction.

  Naturally, he jerked his hand out and sent his glass of water flying. “Shit!”

  At least there was no danger of seduction now as he scrambled to fling the sheets off himself, dive to the floor, and scoop up the glass before it completely emptied. He reached up to grab the box of tissues conveniently left on the nightstand. But when he turned around, Dair was already there, using a towel he’d presumably brought back from the bathroom with him to mop up the wetness.

  He’d squatted down, so there was no ignoring the bulge in his underwear. Robin could see almost every inch of his perfect body through his skin-tight clothes as he swooped in to Robin’s rescue yet again. The outline of his cock was clear through the material, and it wasn’t small.

  So much for there being no risk of seduction. Robin’s own cock twitched to life in his thin cotton pajamas, and there was a very real possibility he could get half a hard-on right there and then. In a flash, his mind was suggesting to Robin how he could launch himself at Dair. Or even better, how easily Dair could lean over and pin him down, their cocks rubbing together through their pajamas…

  Robin leaped back up and shoved his glasses up his nose as Dair got the last of the spillage. “Oh! Um, thank you!” While Dair draped the damp towel over the back of Robin’s desk chair, Robin scurried back under the covers, hiding both his disobedient cock and his skinny body he was so ashamed of.

  Once again, Dair seemed calm and relaxed as he placed his toothbrush back in his bag. He hummed as he picked his clothes off the floor. They must have dropped there when Robin had knocked over his glass and Dair had jumped across the room to help him.

/>   Dair folded his clothes with military precision, unsurprisingly. He smoothed down the edges and placed each item on the dresser, one on top of each other, quickly but carefully. Then he turned around and pointed to Robin’s now mostly empty glass. “I can refill that for you.”

  “Oh, no,” Robin tried to protest. But Dair had already strode across the room and plucked the glass from the dresser. “Thank you,” Robin said sheepishly. Dair winked at him.

  Maybe it wasn’t completely terrible of him to enjoy being doted on, just a little. Robin still smacked his forehead and groaned when he had a few seconds alone.

  “Klutz,” he hissed.

  Dair returned from the bathroom with a full glass of water, which he handed to Robin. Then he turned off the hallway light and closed the door, leaving them in the almost-darkness as he slipped into Robin’s bed.

  Robin had never shared this room with anyone. When his family had moved here, he and Jay had been twelve and treated it as a small act of God that they’d been granted their own private rooms, having doubled up their entire lives. Of course, not long after, the Big Gay Panic had begun and there had been many nights where Robin had snuck into his twin’s room, desperate for company but not entirely sure why. Jay had never slept in here, though. Nor Mac nor Peyton nor anyone.

  Until Dair.

  They were far enough apart that they weren’t rolling into each other, but Robin wasn’t sure he’d ever been more aware of his scrawny little body, and he’d been plenty aware his whole life. He had an Adonis of a man beside him and he was straight. Robin was seriously tempted to suggest he sleep on the floor again just to put some space between them, but wasn’t sure how he could bring it up without sounding hysterical.

  He pulled his glasses off and dropped them on the dresser. “Um, so, goodnight?” He glanced briefly at Dair before looking back at the ceiling. His skin was prickly and his breathing shallow.

  “Are you okay?”

  Robin had to turn and look at Dair for that. They were now lying side by side, a couple of feet apart, their heads resting on the pillows. They were close enough Robin could still see all the details of his face. “Am I okay?”