CodeY

by Lamar Rutherford

  The three of them took a break from their match to eat and discuss the new “find” for Pele in the CodeY experiment. Pele was not sure he wanted to hear what his friends had been up to, but he went ahead and asked anyway. “Okay, so give me the scoop. What’s up with Codey and your latest find?”

  Radi perked up, but then responded in a very measured tone, “We think we finally found your ideal match.”

  In college, the three medical students had been working on a genetics research project, trying to breed more heat-tolerant rabbits through genetic selection. Rabbits, typically very sensitive to heat, can die from heatstroke if not protected or shaded.

  With the right breeding, their experiment showed favorable results, the offspring were much more heat tolerant. This led the three of them to discussing how this would translate in humans. Pele thought back on that moment when they first decided to try the experiment on themselves, to find their own genetic matches.

  Cole, talking to one of the male rabbits, trying to persuade it to get along with his future mate, “Come on dude, I know she may not be Jessica Rabbit, but trust me, you’re gonna love her. Don’t be as finicky as Heartbreaker over here.” Heartbreaker was Cole and Radi’s nickname for Pele, who was known for frequently breaking ladies' hearts. Cole was razzing Pele for once again complaining about a minor flaw in one of the women he was dating.

  “Imagine if we tried to find our own genetic matches,” Cole laughed. “Yours would definitely have to have a strong heart there, Mr. Heartbreaker.”

  “What if we did try to find our own ideal genetic matches?” Radi commented a little too eagerly. “We could find mates with the same strengths we have, and then other qualities that offset our weaknesses, like my allergies and asthma.”

  Pele thought hmmm…seems like Radi has been contemplating this already. But he played along for good sport and said to Cole, “Can you imagine if we found someone as good at research as the Dr. Kapur? Their kids could definitely change the world…if they ever left the lab…”

  Cole snickered and interjected, “I’m afraid any girl that into research would be way too close a match for Mother Nature! No way she’d let that happen,” referencing one of their findings, that if a characteristic was too strong in both parents, then there was a high risk of creating an imbalance and causing some sort of irregularity, like a physical disability or autism. It was almost as if Mother Nature would not allow too much strength in one. So, it clearly had to be a good match, but not a perfect match.

  “Good point there, Dr. Janson. We wouldn’t want too close of a match with the Kapur gene pool. That could be downright frightening!”

  Radi glared at both of them and shot back defensively to Pele, “At least they’d be good at something besides soccer.”

  Cole, ever the peacemaker, intervened, “It would be kind of cool if our offspring had less chance of getting some of the health issues we’re at risk for.” He was referring to his father’s struggle with diabetes and Pele’s father’s death at a young age from heart failure.

  Pele went back to bantering, “Popeye, we better find you your Olive Oil. Otherwise, every gym in town is going to have to up their weight sets,” referring to Cole’s unusual strength.

  “Yah, for sure,” snickered Radi. Then added with a contemplative look, “The hardship would be the biggest challenge.” He was referring to another one of their findings, that if the baby rabbits experienced some sort of trauma or hardship, their attributes seemed to be strengthened and enhanced. They discovered this by accident when one of the baby rabbits mistakenly got locked out, away from his mother and siblings for a few hours. He was traumatized, but soon after he was reunited with the others, he became the leader of the group and the toughest, even though his genetics were exactly the same. Radi, Cole, and Pele referred to this as the “hardship factor.” Somehow the trauma seemed to enhance the bunnies’ strongest characteristics.

  “Not sure I’m so eager for that hardship factor,” replied Cole looking concerned. “Sounds like you might be considering enslaving my people again?!”

  “I’m not sure my people were ever the enslavers for you folk. Seems like we were closer to the other end of that stick,” Radi jabbed back.

  Pele jumped in, “Well, we definitely know what hardship would be for your kids if they’re anything like you. We’ll just take them camping,” alluding to Radi’s aversion to dirt and obsessive-compulsive tendencies.

  Pele and Cole both chuckled at Radi’s grimace.

  Radi, glaring at Pele, but also smirking, “And you Dr. Rosen? If yours are anything like you, all we’d have to do is force them to sit still for more than a minute!” Teasing Pele about his need for activity. Pele could almost never study for more than 30-minutes at a time before he had to get up and move around. They often bought him toys to fidget with to help get through a study session.

  “Fine,” Pele pretended to be offended. “But regardless, I think the hardship is the least of our worries. With what kids go through these days; with social media bullying, screen time addiction, drugs, you name it, I doubt we’ll have to create any hardships for them. Seems like they can manage finding their own. Finding women we can fall in love with might be the bigger challenge!” he stated, referring to all of their single status.

  By the end of the quarter, the three had decided to continue the experiment on themselves. Of course, in envisioning their “ideal” mates, no consideration was given to personality or how well they might actually get along with these women. When Cole brought this up, Radi brushed it off, assuring him that he would, of course, fall in love with any woman who had that much in common. Cole did not push the issue. To be honest, he and Pele thought the whole thing was more of a lark and a good excuse to meet women, rather than a real experiment. Neither took it too seriously. If they met a woman they liked that did not fit the criteria, they dated her anyhow.

  Radi, on the other hand, was far more serious. He never dated a woman twice if she did not match his criteria. He was intent on finding the right matches for each of them. Pele sometimes speculated that maybe this had something to do with Radi’s father. Radi was the only child of strict, traditional Indian parents who had moved from India so his father could finish his PhD at the University of California, San Diego. His father was now a world-renowned geneticist but often expressed his frustrations with the legal limitations of his field. The US government was still very cautious about genetic experimentation.

  Relations between Radi and his father were often strained because Radi, surrounded by freer American standards, frequently tested the bounds of his father’s strict culture. Fortunately, Radi’s more relaxed, gentle mother usually smoothed the relations between the two. Despite their frequently tense interactions, Pele knew Radi had a deep respect for his father. Was CodeY a way for Radi to gain his father’s approval? Pele did not believe Radi would acknowledge this, but he suspected it had more to do with the experiment than Radi would admit.

  One thing all of them did take seriously was the risk of anyone finding out about the experiment. All of them knew any type of genetic research on humans was totally illegal. However, they figured if they were the subjects and no one knew, no harm would come of it. That being said, they did keep all discussions and references to the experiment confidential. They referred to it as Code Y, or more often “Codey.”

  Their detailed review of what each needed in an “ideal” mate included their genetic makeup, natural abilities, and weaknesses. They were each talented in their own right; all above average intelligence and gifted in many ways.

  Pele was a talented athlete. He went pro as a soccer player for a year before finishing school. He was coordinated, fast, and strategic. However, his career as a professional soccer player ended after a torn hamstring sidelined him for a year. The injury made him realize professional soccer was risky and potentially short-lived. As a result, he headed off to medical school. He was now a highly regarded sports medicine Orthopedic surgeon. His genetics s
howed he had an especially strong immune system, but also, like his father, a predisposition for a weak heart and high cholesterol.

  Radi was a decent athlete, but his talents lay more with coding, understanding complexity, and the visual arts. He had earned many accolades in various artistic mediums but was especially accomplished with digitally generated work. Radi was a medical geneticist, a relatively new field of medicine focused on diagnosing predispositions through genetic testing and analysis. Radi had a tendency toward allergies and weak digestion, but he had a strong heart and naturally low blood pressure.

  Cole, the cardiologist, grew up in Los Angeles. His father was a wind power engineer, his mother a teacher, but they were also both gospel singers and entertainers. Cole was also surprisingly comfortable on the stage and was a talented singer, but he was happiest spending time with his science and research. His genetic weaknesses were predispositions towards diabetes and arthritis, but he was naturally very strong and had low cholesterol.

  For years through medical school, residency, and the beginning of their careers, the three of them searched for their elusive “ideal” matches with no success. It was often more comedic than useful. They found surreptitiously collecting spit or blood samples for testing, or trying to determine a girl’s coordination, heart strength, digestive sensitivities, musical talents and more, did not always happen naturally on a date. Each of them had their own tales of attempts gone awry.

  When trying to assess coordination, Pele found most girls were not too keen to get on the soccer field with him, so he would take them dancing. If they were too self-conscious, they were out. He presumed a lack of coordination if they were that concerned with how they looked. However, Pele wasn’t sure what was worse, the self-conscious, or those boldly willing to show their lack of talent. There were always a few who simply did the basics. They were ruled out as too boring or not coordinated enough. On a rare occasion, Pele met a talented candidate, but none yet had managed to pass this test as well as the other criteria. His best story was the very coordinated one who was eager to show off her skills…around a pole. Unfortunately, although he appreciated her moves, she lacked the basic IQ standards.

  Radi’s best story was when he tried to determine if one of his dates had allergies by having her over to cook dinner. Unfortunately, the evening was literally cut short when she had a little slip up with a knife while chopping carrots. He got plenty of blood samples, but it was a rather messy and early end to the evening when he had to take her to the emergency room for stitches. In the end, she didn’t make the cut.

  Cole, to assess his date’s musical talents, often ended up at karaoke, which, not unexpectedly, frequently took a turn for the worse when the women performed. His most memorable story was the night when one of his dates sang him a very romantic melody, slurring every word, completely out of tune, and then ended her performance by flopping into his friend’s lap. That one did not pass for many reasons.

  Despite all their efforts, finding the perfect match continued to be an elusive goal.

  However, at least the CodeY experiment had created quite a bit of entertainment! Pele and Cole often joked about their foibles with CodeY. Radi, not so much. He seemed to truly believe this would be the best way for him to find the right woman.

  Radi’s parents did not always approve of his choices when it came to women. They frequently talked about how arranged marriages, common in their Indian culture, often resulted in the husband and wife falling in love later, after their vows. The parents picked for their children based on criteria they considered more important than the initial love. Radi was convinced that if his dad understood the logic and scientific reasoning behind his choice, he would approve, and Radi would fall in love with his match.

  Regardless, it had been years since they had talked about it, Cole and Pele, had given up on the concept long ago. Even Radi no longer mentioned it. Until now.

  Each knew the criteria for the other’s matches. So, when Cole met Keece, he realized immediately that she was a strong fit for Pele. When he ran her through the stress tests, he could see both her heart strength and coordination were excellent. On the additional tests, she also seemed to match. When he and Radi reviewed her genetic type from her blood sample, it was an even stronger fit. Cole could not run any type of IQ test without raising too many suspicions, but it certainly seemed like she was intelligent enough based on her background. Even more importantly, Cole thought Pele might actually like Keece.

  “For sure?” Pele said skeptically, always leery, knowing his friends were only too happy to play practical jokes on him. “I must admit I’m a little suspicious. After all these years, there’s actually a real potential match? What is she missing her front teeth and only wears Birkenstocks?”

  Radi laughed but replied completely seriously. “I ran all the tests, at least all the ones we could, and she appears to be a 92% match, which is unbelievable! We don’t know for sure on the IQ test, but that doesn’t seem like it will be an issue. She’s a finance major with an Ivy League MBA and runs her own business. So, you should be safe on that one.”

  “Really. She sounds kind of impressive.” Pele’s brow was furrowed now. Even more skeptical, she sounded way too good to be true. “What are you two up to? Is this another one of your stunts? What’s the catch? And CodeY again? Wasn’t that disastrous enough in the past? You really want to resurrect that debacle?”

  Cole chimed in at this point, “Yah, gotta point. We’ve definitely had our share of nightmares with that in the past. But I think this gal’s the real deal. CodeY or not, you should meet her.”

  Pele, chuckling a little with self-deprecation, “I don’t know. It’s hard enough to find a girl I want to have dinner with, let alone a genetic match.”

  Both Radi and Cole snickered at this. Pele was a notorious womanizer with a short attention span. They often teased him about how many lovely women he ruled out seemingly for very minor flaws; she wore the wrong socks, played the wrong sports, or liked him too much. They were both skeptical any woman could satisfy his criteria. Pele himself seemed to doubt whether he could fall in love again. He’d been hurt badly once when he was in college and no woman had measured up since then.

  Pele watching his friends closely now started to realize they might actually be serious. “Really? You actually think you found a match for me, and that I’ll like her?”

  Radi responded enthusiastically, “She’s a remarkably good match.” He followed up with more reserve, “At least on paper. There are a couple of challenges.”

  Pele looked almost relieved. He knew there had to be a catch. “I knew it! She’s ugly, isn’t she?”

  Radi shaking his head slowly, “No, no, that’s not it. She’s quite attractive. That’s not the issue. The first problem is she’s 42.”

  Pele looked appalled. “42!” At 36, he had never been interested in dating older women.

  Radi answered with his typical scientific assessment. “Yes, her eggs might be a little old, but I’m sure they can be revived. That’s a fairly common procedure these days. The second issue might be more of a challenge.”

  Pele rolling his eyes now, thinking to himself, what could be worse. “Oh great. What’s that?”

  “She’s dating a 28-year-old. You’ll have to figure out a way to get her to give him up for the oh-so-charming you,” replied Radi with a bit of a smirk.

  Pele shot back a big grin, “Oh, thanks for the vote of confidence man! Some friend you are,” he added sarcastically. Then continued with curiosity, “A 28-year-old? And she’s 42? That makes her sound more intriguing. Might just be a fun challenge.”

  The conversation stalled momentarily as their bustling waitress dropped off their next round of microbrews. She paused briefly, asking if there was anything else she could get them. Then hurried off, barely waiting for any acknowledgment.

  Pele continued in a more serious tone, “Okay, so seriously, you don’t really believe she’s gonna be Mrs. Right just because she meets
a bunch of criteria. And what about you two?”

  Cole jumped in now, “I gotta be honest, she could be the girl…assuming, of course, you can woo her away from her hot, young stud boyfriend.” Knowing the competitive challenge was the best way to pique Pele’s interest.

  Radi added, “Yes, we discussed that. We don’t want to leave you hangin’. We’re all in this together, so I have an idea. “He continued, more scientific again, “First of all, we all know this is highly illegal, more so now than when we hatched the idea. Getting caught means we’d all likely end up serving time. So, it’s imperative we continue to keep it completely confidential. All correspondence must still be carefully hidden and discussions only with each other in places where we can’t be overheard or recorded.”

  Pele and Cole exchanged glances, trying to keep straight faces. They frequently joked about how serious Radi took the experiment.