Silent Secrets

by Nikki Bolvair

  "You're right, Lincoln. But how to tell them," I muttered.

  I'd been so lost in our conversation that I hadn't even noticed we weren't headed back home. Instead, Lincoln pulled into a large store parking lot that was barren and parked in a spot.

  "What are we doing?" I grinned. "Are we going to make out in front of the feed store, Lincoln?" I joked, twisting in the seat. "You're such a romantic."

  "Not that I wouldn't want to, but no. You are going to learn the first steps of driving."

  My eyes widened, "But, Lincoln..."

  "Nope. Hop out of the truck, Sweetheart. I'm giving your first lesson."

  Chapter 3

  I was excited and worried all at the same time as I jumped out of the truck and traded places with Lincoln.

  It felt so surreal as my hands naturally took a hold of the steering wheel.

  “Alright, Sweetheart. What we're going to do first," Lincoln started as he leaned across me and tugged on the seat belt, "is buckle up.” He was so quick as he pulled it across my chest and latched into the buckle that I didn't have time to protest the I could've done it myself. "You never know what kind of drivers are on the road," he finished, his eyes intent on mine.

  I sobered, glancing away in understanding. Raina and I weren't the only ones who suffered due to the crash. Lincoln was most likely affected second-hand as I had been.

  I had to admit, the thought of learning how to drive never bothered me, but being here with Lincoln now made me nervous. Partly because I never associated what happened with my brother with learning to drive and partly because it was new to me.

  My palms were sweaty, and my voice caught in my throat, but I listened to the rest of Lincoln's advice A short time later, I was able to drive in a straight line without slamming on the brakes. Too much. I think I ended up with a little more confidence about driving but was still a nervous wreck at the end. I was glad when he finally dubbed me a "Brake Master" and had me park.

  "I know this wasn't easy for you," he told me gently as we sat on the tailgate of the truck still in the deserted parking lot. I tucked my head into the crook of his arm. "but you did pretty well for your first lesson."

  "Thank you," I spoke softly, closing my eyes and trying to push back my feelings and the memories that this night brought up in me. "There was a time when I thought I'd never learn to drive because I didn't want to. I appreciate you taking it easy on me."

  "Same here. I don't know what I would have done if you kept jerking the truck for much longer. I felt like a bobblehead."

  "Hey!" I pulled back from the shelter of his arms to give him a whack in his chest just before his hand to caught mine. "You said I did okay." I pouted.

  "You did," he reasoned, pulling me back to him. "You conquered the stop and go."

  "Lincoln."

  "Come on, time to get back." He patted my thigh before hopping off the tailgate. He turned to grab ahold of my hips and help me down, but he didn't let me go when my feet touch the ground.

  He pushed back a stray piece of hair that teased my face and curled it around my ear before leaning in. "You know, every road leads somewhere. Yours led you here. To me. To my brothers. You were in our lives before, and we just missed you even though you were so close. We're not stupid enough to do it again. You're it for us." He edged in closer so that his lips were a hair's breadth away from mine. His voice then grew dark and profound. "And if you ever decide to run again, make no mistake, I'll find you and bring you back." My breath caught as I heard this. His eyes hardened, promising, "When a McGuire falls in love, real love, it's over. She's it for him. Don't run. Ever. Come to us. We'll work it out. Together. Always together. Ok, Sweetheart?"

  I nodded.

  "I need your words, Sweetness."

  "Ok. I'll talk to you or your brothers if I have a problem. And I won’t run."

  He kissed my mouth and whispered, "Good," against my lips. He gave me a few sweet kisses and then pulled back. "Time to go."

  We both hopped into the truck and headed back home with Lincoln holding my hand the whole way. When he parked, I could see lights shining in my house letting me know that my parentals were back.

  "Thank you," I said as shifted to study him. His blonde hair, which hadn't been cut in a while, barely reached the top of his ears. Two stray sections of hair fell on either side on his face just missing his eyes.

  He turned to face me, grinning. "You're welcome. We'll do this again tomorrow, after SSK. I'll pick you up, and we'll work on street driving."

  "Don't I need a driving permit for that?" I questioned thinking back to when some of the kids at school bragged about having it.

  "No," he answered hoping out of the truck, and I followed suit. He was at my side before I could even shut the door, closing it himself and caging me in against it.

  I couldn't help the smile that escaped. He seemed to have a thing about caging me in. He looked dangerous, his tropical eyes were hard and weary, and I couldn't help but worry. I dropped mine to his shirt and fiddled with the hem. Did he get another prank call? He hadn't had one since I received that text on my phone and it made me wonder who was behind it all. Maybe...

  "Um, Sweetheart?"

  My eyes jerked up to his, "Yeah?"

  "I forgot to tell you; Tyler called me tonight before I picked you up. He wanted you to know that Tom and Sarah came home a little distant with each other. He's not sure why, but you might be walking on eggshells for a few days."

  I swallowed, hard. That trip was for them to have fun. It was their anniversary, and they came back angry? Why? How was Brady when he was upset? Or Sarah for that matter? Did they drink? My heart plummeted to my stomach with anxiety. I didn't want to go home now.

  Lincoln brushed back a lock of hair that made its way into my eyes before speaking, "Tell me what's going on in that sweet head of yours."

  I glanced toward my house and wondered, "How bad?” Then I turned back to him. "Did he say?" I elaborated. "Are they arguing?"

  He shook his head. "No, but"— he grimaced, looking away—"Tyler told me that Dad said they weren't arguing, but then my mom said they weren't talking either."

  I glanced down toward his shirt and fiddled with a button. That was bad.

  "Do you want to see if you can stay the night?"

  "They won't let me," I shot out quickly trying to think what could be the cause of them fighting. The only thing I could think of was: what if Brady and Sarah argued about the guys and me?

  "You could always sneak into my house for a change." I gave a pitiful sounding chuckle thinking he was just trying to lighten the mood, but I forgot, this was Lincoln. He tipped my chin up, and I saw the seriousness there. "I wasn't joking, Sweetheart. If they make you uncomfortable, I want you to hightail your ass on over into my bed. Got it?"

  "Brady wouldn't hurt Sarah, or me," I reasoned, but I couldn't help the small kernel of doubt that seeped in. I had thought the same thing once with my own parents, and they proved me wrong. What made Brady and Sarah any different? So I agreed and took the slow walk toward my house. Lincoln kept watch until I was inside.

  I had been excited to see HotShot, but was disappointed. My gray mood deflated even more with him not there to greet me, but the smell of cookies baking in the kitchen came in as a close second of a home-like feeling. I followed the scent into the kitchen to find Sarah there on the phone and a least a half dozen cookies spread across the counter.

  I glanced toward the clock on the wall. It was late, nine at night to be exact. Why was she baking cookies and where was Brady? Did he find out who was sending messages to Linc’s and my phones?

  "... honey, have you tried looking in between the couch cushions? Sometimes it slips down there," Sarah spoke to whoever it was on the phone then gave a sigh as she pulled out what seemed like her second batch of cookies.

  "Aunt Annie, you know how to work a computer for those book reviews, why can't you figure out the—" She paused, huffing as she placed the cookie sheet on the stove and
closed the oven.

  Aunt Annie had apparently interrupted her.

  "Yes, I know how you like to read," Sarah eased, "but the TV remote is just as sim—" She listen for a moment. "I give up, Auntie, check your cushions and then call Grant. He's closer than I am at the moment."

  Even though Sarah seemed to have ended her conversation, she still didn't hang up. "Yes. Grant still lives in town... No. Tom and I moved remember? Yes. Call Grant. Uh-huh, Love you too. Bye, bye."

  She put the phone down beside her, letting out a big sigh, and I made my move. I glided over to where she was transferring cookies from the cookie tray to some paper towels so they could cool and made my presence known by sneaking two cookies away. One popped into my mouth while the other one kept my hand warm.

  "Faith!" she cried shocked, her eyes going wide. I guessed she wasn't paying attention at all. I grinned with the cookie sticking out. If this is what she did when she was mad, I'd contribute to her anger. Go cookies!

  She was probably going to run extra hard tomorrow. Poor Sarah was a stress eater.

  "When did you get back?" she asked with a hug then pulled away. “How was work?"

  I laughed a little because this wasn't what I expected when I got home. "Work went well." I pointed out the growing pile of cookies and asked. "Bake sale?"

  Sarah eased away as a mask drew across her face, and she proceeded to take the rest of the cookies off the sheet. "I bake to be happy."

  "And you're not?"

  Sarah turned to me with arms folded and eyebrows dipped. She was disappointed and concerned.

  My conscience yelled at me 'Warning, Warning; this isn't going to be good' but I still stayed. How could I fix something if I didn't know what was wrong?

  "No, I'm not necessarily happy right at this moment. Grab some glasses out of the cupboard," she directed as she gathered up a plate of cookies and put them on the table. I grabbed two glasses out of the cupboard and placed them on the table and waited, unsure where this was all going.

  "Sit," she directed once again as she went to the fridge for the milk. I sat, grabbing another cookie, still clueless as to what awaited me. But I was sure by the time that plate of cookies was empty,- I would know everything. I just hoped it wasn't all that bad.

  Sarah set the milk down on the table before sitting down herself. I was cautious. I didn't know what to expect.

  "So," Sarah hedged, grabbing a cookie of her own, "Tom and I had a little heart-to-heart when we were on our little get-a-away.” She paused briefly, still holding onto the cookie, before taking a deep breath. "I told Brady a few things on our trip, and he told me some as well. One of those topics was about..." she glanced toward me, setting her cookie on the table cloth before sitting back, "you and what I suspected. What Tom already seemed to know."

  I tensed, understanding what was coming. "Faith, do you know what you're doing? With those boys? Are you sure this is the route you want to go? You have your whole life ahead of you, and you put yourself in a position where dating three brothers could become a big jealousy problem. I just can't see this going well. Tom seems to... disagree." I shut her out, dropping my gaze to the plate of cookies as my own thoughts ran through my mind.

  I knew this wasn't going to be easy. That people would doubt, judge us. I sat back in my chair, disappointed that she wouldn't be happy for me. They were good boys. Good guys, I corrected myself. Maybe I was being a little selfish. Maybe it wasn't the normal, but they chose me. I didn't plan on coming here and falling in love. It just happened, I thought, trying to come up with reasons for why it could work. Of why it would work.

  I came back to what Sarah was saying when she'd finished off with, "...You see what I'm getting at, Faith?"

  I glanced back up from the table, even though I didn't hear everything she said, I understood that she didn't agree.

  I reached over and grabbed a cookie for courage and popped it into my mouth, chewing thoughtfully, then washed it down with a glass of milk as she waited. I had to soothe Sarah. Quickly. When my milk was all done, I set my cup down and gave Sarah my attention.

  "Umm, so it's a little late for that speech," I told her being honest, and her eyes widened, "but I understand where you're coming from and will take your worries into consideration."

  I popped another cookie into my mouth, pretty proud of how direct I had been and glanced around while Sarah got over her shock. "Where's Brady anyways?"

  She recovered quickly, closing her mouth and waving her hand dismissively. "H-he went over to talk to Bobby McGuire about this whole thing. I'm sure those boys are reluctant to say much, just like you, but both of us parents just wanted to know what was going on between you four."

  "So was Brady the one that suspected first or was it you?" I asked curiously.

  Her mouth quirked up at one corner. "A little bit of both of us."

  "What was the other thing you guys talked about?"

  Her eyes cast downward as she pulled away. “That's for another time, honey."

  Well, that was a one-eighty.

  "Is it about not being able to have kids? Because if it is," I spoke up, eagerly pushing the subject. "You know, you could always adopt," I suggested, shyly.

  Sarah gave me a tender smile as she patted my hand and whispered. "There is always that. Would you," she asked cautiously, "would you ever want us to adopt you? Officially, I mean."

  That was a hard question. One, for her to ask and two, for me to answer. I wasn't ready to give up my identity of who I was, even though my parents did what they did. At one point in time, they did love me. I remembered that much, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to give that up.

  "Sarah, once I get married it doesn't matter what my last name is. Either way, you will always be a mother of my heart," I told her quietly.

  "Oh, hun," she said, giving a soft smile, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, but I'm glad that you think—that you feel—I'm a mother to you. It makes all of this more worthwhile having you here. You deserve to be loved."

  "Thank you, Sarah," I told her with another hug, then we left the emotional stuff behind and talked about my college classes before I turned in for the night. Overall, it was a good day.

  The next morning, I glanced at my phone, smiling when rereading the texts from the three McGuire brothers the night before.

  Kayden: Well, Sweetcheeks, that cat didn't stay in the bag for long.

  Tyler: Doing ok, Baby?

  Lincoln: Don't think, Sweetheart. Don't backtrack. Call me.

  Daniels: Oh ye have little itty-bitty Faith? #Hacked

  I had chuckled at my pun and waited to read what they came up with next.

  Kayden: No, Faith got us. Get it?

  Tyler: As long as you're willing.

  Lincoln: We got Faith alright, and she isn't going anywhere. She’s stuck, ya hear?

  Lincoln: S.T.U.C.K.

  I chuckled as I whipped back my covers and got up. I guessed I was stuck, but you wouldn't hear me complain. I was perfectly satisfied being that way.

  I quickly dressed and headed downstairs, anticipating Brady being in a bad mood. I still wasn't sure what the other thing he and Sarah talked about was, but I hoped that it wasn't anything too bad.

  When I got down to the kitchen, Brady was in his usual spot eating breakfast. He glanced up, giving me knowing stare.

  "I talked to Bobby McGuire last night," Brady stated, not even waiting until I sat at the table to address what was going on. His eyes studied me as he continued, "And his boys. So you're really going to take on the McGuire boys?"

  He was curious as well as uneasy. I could tell by the hard edge of his voice and the relaxed demeanor he held. I pursed my lips and gave him a quick yes.

  Brady's shoulders tensed when he spoke next. "I knew something was going on. The three of them seemed too attentive to you and possessive."

  I sent a quick glance over to Sarah, hoping for reinforcements, because I wasn't sure if Brady was for the McGuire brothers being with me or
not and I needed a woman on my side.

  As if she sensed my stare, Sarah turned off the stove and headed our way with the fresh plate of pancakes. Setting them down on the table, she eased herself into a chair then gave a tentative smile toward Brady.

  "Faith and I talked about this last night, just like I said we would.”

  Brady's gaze shot to hers as his eyes became weary, almost pained, and then he gave a short nod.

  "Plus," she went on, turning her gaze over to me, "Faith and I came to the conclusion that she is able to make her own choices, but she'll take our guidance into consideration."

  As he speared the last piece of his pancake, Brady replied, "Good."

  He wiped his mouth with his napkin and then stood up, pushing in his chair. "Well, I'm headed off. HotShot will be home tonight." I grunted, knowing that tidbit of information about HotShot was for me.

  Brady went over to Sarah tipping her chin up for a brief kiss before straightening and turning his hard gaze over to me. "You tell me if they do anything that makes you uncomfortable or anything. I mean it, Faith."

  My heart warmed. "I will."

  "Good." Then he headed out. "See you girls tonight."

  I heard the door shut before Sarah spoke, "Faith?"

  I turned to toward her and worried as she still seemed down. "Yeah?" I couldn't help but feel upset that I couldn't fix anything. That I couldn't make anything better.

  "About Tom, you know, he was my best friend before we ever dated," she started, giving me a reassuring smile. "Then we fell in love and got married. He would do anything for me. Anything that would make me happy, except if he feels it's going to hurt me in some way. Right now, we're just having a little disagreement, and it's not our first. So, I don't want you worrying, okay? He's not mad at you. Things will work out. It just takes time."

  I opened my mouth to say something but then closed it before nodding. Finishing up my own breakfast, I took my dishes to the sink and turned to find Sarah there, handing out money like she'd done before. She raised an eyebrow when I hesitated, and I decided to take it. The last time she had threatened me with a yellow room, and I certainly didn't want that. I grabbed my bag by the front door and called out my goodbyes as I hurried out and across our neighborhood street toward the McGuire's house.