Silent Secrets

by Nikki Bolvair

  I snuck upstairs with HotShot at my heels and entered my room, only briefly glancing toward my desk where my only family photo sat before plopping onto my bed.

  That may have been my only family photo, but I did have a family, and I wasn't alone anymore. Even though the people around me weren’t blood-related, they’d become my family nonetheless.

  I took some of my books out of my bag and did what any teenager should do: studied. I felt happy on the inside, getting down to my equations. That was simple stuff and most of the time predictable, but everything else, I was getting there.

  HotShot nibbled at my feet after I took my shoes off. I was sure he was threatening to take one of my socks again. I just wiggled my foot around to using the rhythm to zone out into my new ‘normal life’ that not so long ago wasn't quite so normal.

  ***

  The weekend went by quickly, especially since I didn't have to go to work at the antique store anymore. When Monday rolled around, Brady promised me that he'd take me to the bank to start an account. I guess it was one of those growing up things. That night, I received my first paycheck from SSK. It was weird because it almost felt wrong taking money for what I was doing there, but I couldn't help but feel a sense of pride when I looked at my paycheck.

  Wednesday was when things took a turn for the worse. I had just arrived at SSK and grabbed Sonya, who was in the play area, and was headed back out to get Bates, when I heard a commotion down the hall.

  I softly moved closer to whomever it was, hearing low arguing which was usual in a place full of kids. Passing the staircase, the arguing escalated. It was two kids, I was sure. One of them cried out, and a scuffle started. This wasn’t good.

  I turned and hurried toward the kitchen. But when glass shattered, I froze in the hallway as I was sent back to that night.

  “Why?” I heard my father rage from above while I cowered in my bedroom. “Why, did you have to pick up your damn phone!”

  Tears blurred my eyes as the echo of my past haunted me.

  My father hit me. His fists pounding into my flesh. I moved away, but he followed.

  “I’m sorry, Daddy!” My pleas went unheard. “You’re drunk. Stop! Stop, please! You’re hurting me!”

  “Why?! Why! You killed him! You—”

  Feet thundered my way as a teenaged boy tore down the hall, slamming into my side, and I turned, shielding Sonya from the kid and the floor. My breath was knocked out of me, and we all fell to the floor. The kid scrambled to get up. I groaned as his knee pressed on my lower stomach in an attempt to try and right himself, and then Sonya started to cry. Never in my wildest dreams did I think my day would end up like this.

  “Get off me!” I growled, shifting, but the boy froze. His head dropped to mine so I could stare into the eyes of the selfish prick, Dwight.

  “Perry!” I yelled, annoyed when he didn’t move. I let Sonya go so I could push him away, but he caught my hands and held them above my head. For such a puny kid, he was strong and the position I was in made me weak.

  His lips curved and his eyes darkened as I pulled my head back to slam it into his in an attempt to get away, but I wasn’t quick enough and his disgusting mouth that reeked of cigarettes and something else invaded my own. I gagged, bucking beneath him, but he just laughed. It was then that I started to panic.

  “Perry!” I screamed as he pulled my lip between his teeth and bit down. It stung as tears gathered at the corner of my eyes.

  I kicked and twisted until I got a hand free. I hit him. Hard.

  My heart pounded as adrenaline raced. I could hear Sonya crying, and my own heart was breaking too. I wrestled with him, trying to escape. Shouting came closer, and he scrambled up and dodged away from me.

  I turned on the floor trying to grab him—I wanted to beat him—but I was too sluggish in my response, and he got away, darting down the hall.

  “Hey!” I heard Perry yell. “Oh no!”

  An alarm rang out. I pulled a crying Sonya to me as I sat up and rested my back against the wall.

  My energy was zapped, my lip was bleeding pretty good, but I didn't care; Sonya needed me. Tears fell as I held her close, and people started to fill the hallway with questions. Someone reached for Sonya, but she had already quieted, sucking her thumb. I didn't want to let her go, so I hugged her, burying my face into the crook of her neck and breathing in her baby shampoo.

  “It’s ok.” Mr. White’s pale face swam into view as he crouched down. “Faith, let me have her. You're bleeding.”

  After I explained what happened to Mr. White and Mrs. Snow, the director of SSK, the police arrived. I shouldn't have been surprised to find that Brady had shown up with the group.

  He met me at the steps outside the home with Bates and Sonya attached to my side. It was dinnertime, but they refused to leave me. When Mr. White tried to pass them onto Perry, Bates began crying of control, which set off Sonya.

  Brady sat down beside me with Bates on one side and Sonya in my arms. Perry was kind enough to bring food out to the kids and me while we waited, before heading back inside.

  “You ok?” Brady asked, eyeing the kids and me as we sat.

  I swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

  “W-who a-are you?” Bates asked, his eyes going wide, taking in Brady’s police uniform.

  Brady squatted down beside me, ruffling Sonya’s hair, making her shy away into my chest as he answered Bates. “I’m Dan—”

  My body tensed. “Faith! Faith... Pops.”

  “Y-you’re Faith’s p-p-papa?” Bates questioned his eyes going wide. “Like a p-p-policeman p-papa?”

  Brady’s lips pinched, and his eyes narrowed at me before glancing back to Bates with a smile. “Yes, I’m a policeman and Faith’s...” he choked on the last part. “Papa.”

  I grinned, watching Brady interact with Bates’s blatant curiosity as the kid tried to figure us out.

  “C-can I-I s-see your badge?”

  I muffled a snort.

  “Sure ya can, kid.”

  “His name is Bates,” I informed Brady. “And this is Sonya.”

  Brady gave me a pointed look before turning back to Bates with a smile. “Bates and Sonya. Those are pretty neat names. How about this, why don’t you and I sit over there”—he pointed to another spot on the wide steps—“while Faith talks to some people about what happened, and I’ll show you my badge.”

  “Dwight hit her,” Bates said plainly, without hesitation. “H-He b-b-broke a”—he took a deep breath—“a-a window i-in the k-k-kitchen then he was mean t-to Faith.”

  “I know kid.” Brady lifted his hand to ruffle his hair but Bates flinched away, and Brady dropped it. “Sorry.” Bates nodded. “So you want to take a look at my badge?”

  Despite Bates’s hesitation, he went with Brady as I held on to Sonya, who was sleeping. Mr. White, Mrs. Snow and another police officer came over shortly after. The officer spoke first. “Alright. Tell us what happened.”

  After I got done explaining everything, the officer assured me that they would find out where Dwight had gone. He ask me if I wanted to press charges.

  I started to shake my head no, but then... “If you don't mind me asking, how old is Dwight?”

  Mr. White spoke up. “I’m sorry, Faith, we’re not allowed—”

  “Fourteen,” Mrs. Snow interrupted him, her eyes sharp, “He’s fourteen. And we’re not letting him get a free pass on what he did here. He needs more help than just a home. He needs to be placed somewhere that caters to his desperate cries for help. And we will make sure that happens either way.”

  I took in her words and remembered what he had done. I tucked Sonya a little bit more into me. “Yes.”

  The officer nodded. “Ok then, I’ll just need you to write a statement, and have your dad sign it as, well.”

  My brow scrunched up. “Why does Brady need to sign it?”

  The officer was a little confused by my calling ‘my dad’ by his last name, but he must have known something because Br
ady and I didn't have the same last name. “It’s protocol.”

  He went to turn away, but I stopped him with a hand on his arm, Sonya resting on my shoulder, “It’s protocol?” The cut in my lip ached from talking, but I needed to know.

  He turned back with an incredulous look on his face. “Yeah, Protocol. Like a parent has to be with the minor when we question them.”

  My heart was pounding. I felt so stupid, “Is that just a state law?”

  “No, it's a federal law.”

  I swallowed, taking in that new information, nodding almost as if I was in shock again. “Thank you.”

  Chapter 9

  After finding out that someone who was underage needed a parent with them if they were to give a statement to the police, it made me realize that while in foster care, Officer—no, Detective—Yasmin either had permission from my fosters or caseworker, or she acted without approval. The second option seemed more plausible, because was there was no one to take me home and the foster family always asked where I had been. Like they hadn’t even known I had been held up in an interrogation room. In fact, thinking back, her boss didn’t seem too happy about it when he’d found out. Why did Officer Yasmin risk coming back into my life once again knowing she had step over the line?

  I shook out of my thoughts, realizing that it was late, and Bates kept looking over to me even though he seemed at ease with Brady. I walked over to them, carrying a sleeping Sonya in my arms and smiled, feeling the pinch to my lip.

  “Hey, ready for bath time?” Bates nodded and quickly came to my side. I glanced up toward Brady, who was looking grim. “I need to get them in bed, and then I’ll be done.”

  He gave a short nod, and I shuffled into the house, bypassing Mrs. Snow and Mr. White along the way. I did not stop, knowing that they would insist I be done for the night. But I wanted to finish and enjoy bath time and putting them to bed.

  It had only been a few day ago that they went on a visit, and I wondered what the case plan was, but it wasn’t my place to ask. In fact, by law they couldn’t give me any information on that, at least that's what Mr. White said when I’d asked.

  I worked my way upstairs and toward the bathroom, satisfied when I found it empty. I woke up Sonya ever-so-gently and started the water before encouraging Bates to strip and jump into the tub.

  My back was turned, so I didn’t see him at all as I undressed Sonya, hoping to save some time by bathing them together. They were brother and sister after all. But when I started to peel off Sonya’s shirt, I noticed red marks on her skin along her upper arm.

  I held in my gasp, wondering if I had done that to her. But I quickly found out that the finger marks were larger than I could have done. That’s when I started to inspect her closer and found bruising on her little ear, where someone apparently had pinched it, and also on her legs. Emotion welled up in my chest at the thought of someone hurting her or Bates.

  Bates! I need to keep calm and finish their bath before I let Mrs. Snow know something was wrong. I wanted to check out Bates first and the only way he’d let me was to finish with bath time.

  I carefully put Sonya in the water, making sure to support her until she was steady before glancing over to Bates, guarding myself for what was to come.

  At first, I didn’t see anything. His face was unmarked with a look of steady concentration as he navigated his toy boat across the deadly waters of Sonya’s splashy waves. But as I looked closer, I noticed light shades of purple starting just under the juncture of one of his upper arms. I washed him as I would, trying not to cry as I found another hidden spot. Tears leaked out when I found the last place on this little boy's body where someone could do damage.

  His tiny feet.

  At the back of each heal were small circle sized cigarette burns. Three places where some asshole marked this precious boy’s skin.

  “Baby,” I whispered softly, trying to keep my emotions tame and reign it in. I didn’t want to scare him. “Where did you get these from?”

  Three words sent my heart plummeting as Bates's voice matched my own soft tone. “I-I-I w-was b-b-a-a-ad,” he said as he hid his feet in the water.

  “Here?” Surely not, but I had to ask, going to back to Sonya looking at her feet. Bates shook his head.

  “No.” There was no stutter there. “I-I-I-I w-w-a-ant out.”

  I agreed, getting him and Sonya into PJs. I set Bates up on the bathroom counter before picking Sonya up. “Bates.” His lip wobbled as his eyes filled with tears. I hugged him. “No one should do that to you, baby.” I held him while he cried, wrapping his arms around my waist and Sonya as he told me brokenly how he was bad at the visit he’d had with his mom, and how his step-dad, Daniel, had to punish him.

  Rage and sorrow consumed me as I wiped away my own tears, my lip pulling at the cut another asshole gave me.

  A moment later, I pulled out my phone with my only free hand and texted Mr. White to come to the upstairs main hall bath.

  After I had sent the text, I realized Bates had now fallen asleep holding onto me while sitting on the counter where I had placed him. Sonya’s head was on my shoulder, and I was unsure if she was awake or not. Either way, I was stuck.

  A soft tap sounded before Mr. White head popped in. “Faith?”

  He saw my face then took another looked at the three of us. My chin quivered, my eyes filling with tears again. “They burned his little feet.”

  Mr. White paused before coming, shock registering across his face. That's all it took before I broke down. “Sonya has bruises...” I wondered if this was what Brady felt with me, utter and complete devastation.

  He looked at me and the kids, carefully inspecting Bates’s feet before looking Sonya over as they both continued to sleep right where they were. Mr. White put a hand on my shoulder, “Don’t move. They’re comfortable, and I think this will be the best way for someone to look at the two of them without waking either of them up. I just... I’ll be right back.”

  Mrs. Snow came in, followed by Brady, who took pictures. “Something will happen now,” Mrs. Snow murmured into a phone. “I think an immediate withdrawal of visitations and contacting the children's guardian ad litem needs to happen.” Pause. “Yes, we’re taking them to the hospital for documentation and make sure the burns aren’t infected.”

  Each one of them were taken from me. I considered it a blessing that neither of them woke up. I missed their weight and quickly went into Brady’s arms. “How could they... they're just babies.” I cried as Brady held me.

  “I know, honey. I know.” And he did.

  My heart ached as Brady took us home and silence filled the cab, the two of us lost in our own thoughts.

  I pulled out my phone to text the guys, but I already had messages waiting for me from them.

  6:15 Lincoln: Brady said I didn't have to pick you up tonight. Why?

  6:18 Lincoln: Tyler just got off the phone with dad. You need to call one of us, Sweetheart.

  6:18 Kayden: On standby. Call ME.

  6:20 Tyler: Tried calling you. Pick up.

  And there were more. Asking if I was ok and how these things kept happening to me. Tears leaked again as I shook my head. They were right. I did keep getting into situations like this. Looking at the time on my phone it read 9:14. The last message I received was at 7:45.

  Tyler: Dad said you were busy with the police. The three of us are heading over to your house to wait for you. Sarah said she had cookies baking. See you soon.

  “I guess by that sigh that we have company at our house, and they’re not leaving until they know you’re ok.”

  I nodded, glancing over to him. “Right on the nose.”

  “We can call the orphanage tomorrow morning and see what happened. Their parents won't get away with this.”

  I nodded again. I looked over my shoulder, realizing that HotShot wasn’t with him.

  Looking back to Brady with the question on my lips, he answered before I could ask, “He’s at home. I got the call after
we got there and decided to leave him.”

  When we got home, comforting arms surrounded me, and all I could think was how much Bates and Sonya needed something like this.

  The next day, Brady called and was given the same spill that I had heard last night. They were waiting on the GAL and a court date.

  When I saw Mr. White later that day, he didn’t have any news for me and neither did Mrs. Shambles, but she did say I had the day off.

  I wanted to refuse. I needed to see them, but she told me it was too much of a mess right now. All Para parents were being pulled temporarily due to Dwight’s behavior, and she thought a little break might be good for me.

  It wouldn’t be until Friday that I heard the news, straight from Mrs. Shambles, who’d received permission to notify me.

  Parental rights were severed.

  Bates and Sonya were up for adoption. They were free a clear, and I wanted them.

  Now.

  I wanted them, but I was underage. My breath caught. I needed to talk with Brady. I sent a text and ran to the AV office. To Sarah. I slammed into the door, pushing it open, and stared at a wide-eyed Sarah. I verbally threw up on her, my mouth going a mile a minute.

  “I know you and Brady can’t have kids, but you want them. You must if you’re crazy to take me on. So, I need you both to fill out this paperwork”—I pulled out the folder with all the info I’d been given under the assumption that I was Sarah—“and contact this GAL and tell them you want Bates and Sonya because they are now up for adoption, and I really want them but can’t because I’m underage and you and Brady could, no should, adopt them, and they deserve to have parents like you.”

  I caught my breath, sat down and pushed the paperwork closer to her as her mouth hung open and her eyes went wide. “Faith—”

  “Please. Give them a chance. They’re me, Sarah. They’re me.”

  Her mouth closed as she glanced down at the folder and swallowed. “I’ll talk to Brady tonight about it.”

  I let out a relieved breath. “No need. I texted him that there was a family emergency already. He's on his way here.”