Thunder (Desert Phantoms MC Book 1)

by Verlene Landon

  Thunder stood there holding and surrounded by gifts his brothers assured him, chicks dig. He wasn’t so sure, but he took their advice since they had more experience with groveling than he did. A bouquet of wildflowers Blast had said she would find endearing. A dozen donuts because bitches love sweets, Taps’ words, not his.

  Trip and Lexi’s suggestions were back in his room. He may not know groveling, but he knew that sexy underwear and a new sex toy were not the right way to say, I’m sorry for everything I’ve ever done wrong or will do wrong in the future. Will you please be with me for all time and let me play with your tits?

  Priest added his input, a weaponized key chain with Thunder’s key on it. A mid-range bottle of wine with a “cute” label, because according to Granite, good women only cared if the label was cute, not pricey.

  “What in the world is all this?” She looked stunning. A few days in the hospital did nothing to dull her shine. Andy was his world. Wow. When that wisp of knowledge floated through his mind, it rocked him back on his heels. She is my world. He knew it when he blurted out a declaration of love as Taps carried her out of Horns. She hadn’t brought it up, so he wasn’t sure she’d even heard him.

  “This is—” Thunder had nothing. He’d spent so much time thinking about getting her the right gifts and not saying the wrong thing, that he forgot to figure out what to actually say.

  “This is,” Lexi answered, turning to Andy. “Your delayed homecoming, you can thank me later. But this awesome welcome home comes complete with a groveling smoking hot biker and a rock star of a best friend who emailed you her wish list just in caaaaase.” Lexi drew out her last word as she made her way down the hall. “And FYI,” she shouted from her room. “I’m putting on my noise canceling headphones and won’t leave my room until eight a.m.”

  Thunder couldn’t hide his smile when she rolled her eyes at her friend. Thunder didn’t want to be insensitive to her injury, but on the other hand, he didn’t want her to think this distance was okay or that he didn’t want her. He’d spent hours on the internet learning about head injuries, even spoke with a doctor hypothetically.

  Andy was in no danger or anything like that, but Thunder still wasn’t sure how to touch her or even if she would allow it. “Andy,” he started. Words just didn’t come for him, not where she was concerned. She had stepped into the apartment and was fiddling with an imaginary string on the corner of the couch.

  He’d seen her pissed, hurt, a little scared, happy, sated, a range of emotions, but never like that. So unsure, almost timid. Thunder would never forgive himself if that was now woven into the fabric of who she was because of him.

  “Fuck it. I suck with words.” He breathed as he closed the space between them. Pulling her into his body, he sat with her slung across his lap. His kiss held every word he had. When she returned it, he groaned and dragged his hand around the front of her throat. Not to apply pressure or choke her, but to connect with her pulse points and her breathing. To experience the kiss, not just feel it.

  It took on a life of its own. Their very breathing was dependent on each other. He didn’t want it to end, but he felt he needed to apologize again. Beg her forgiveness. They’d gone through so much via texts, but there was something to be said for looking into someone’s eyes. Reluctantly, he pulled back with just a few hit and run pecks.

  “Babe. I’m sorry for what I had to say and do. I didn’t mean any of those things. You have to believe me. I would never purposely put you in danger. I thought I was making the right moves. I stand by them, right or wrong. But I need you to know I did what I thought was best. I meant none of what I said that night.” Thunder knew he was repeating himself, but he couldn’t help it. His heart was racing, and his stomach was in knots. He wasn’t even this nervous on his first combat flight, but the stakes weren’t as high. Death is over and done, but a broken heart can linger for eternity.

  “You have to stop apologizing. I told you I understood, and I meant it.”

  “But you’re still hurting.”

  That look crossed her face again. “I am, but that’s not on you. My logical mind understands, but in those moments, I still felt what I felt. I know what it was and what it wasn’t, but regardless, I went through it the way I did, so it feels different in my memory. Does that make sense?”

  Thunder nodded.

  “No amount of groveling or apologizing can change that. But I have moved on and in time, the memories will fade.”

  Thunder brushed his thumb across her bottom lip. It trembled slightly under his touch. “Then why are you still so sad?”

  She averted her gaze shyly. Is she being coy? He was having a hard time reading her expression, but his dick was getting harder and harder. Whatever it was, it was turning him on.

  “You said you didn’t mean anything you said that night?”

  Thunder panicked. How could he fight perception? His heart sank. Then he noticed her bottom lip. It was sticking out comically. What was her angle?

  “Anything?” she asked again. Then it finally hit him. His smile was so wide it hurt his face.

  “Nope, nothing, nada.”

  Then her pout turned real. She tried to get off his lap.

  “Babe.” He gave her a few tickles. “Babe.” Thunder turned serious. “I’m kidding.” She slapped at him in frustration. “There was something I said that night that I did mean.”

  “Yeah, what?” She was back to playful with a hint of insecurity. It was cute, and Thunder just couldn’t help himself.

  “I could never deny you anything.”

  “Ohhhh.” She struggled hard and he let her go, laughing at her mock frustration.

  Thunder stood and picked up the flowers and presented them to her. Andy looked like she wanted to slap them away. Instead, she took them, sniffed them and set them gently on the coffee table. At odds with the emotions he could see swirling in her warm eyes.

  Why he kept messing with her, he didn’t know. Maybe it was the fire that licked at her soul when she was alert, like she was now. So much more Andy than the woman who was unsure and scared.

  “The flowers were Blast’s idea.” Thunder nodded toward the coffee table. “Wine, Granite. That box, Priest. Donuts, of course, Taps. Trip and Lexi’s suggestions are of a more private nature.” Andy lightly touched or picked up each item as he credited it to the person who gave him the idea for it. When she came to the plastic sleeve, she picked it up and her trembling fingers traced the lines of the drawing encased within.

  “Whiskey,” she whispered reverently.

  “Yes, he gave it to me for you. Had Billie draw it. When I asked him about it, he told me you could explain.” Thunder didn’t understand how three women with a man standing in the back shadows and what appeared to be infinite spirits behind him had to do with romance. “How did you know?”

  “Because Whiskey is, just, well, Whiskey.” Tears actually sat in her eyes as she set the plastic protected page back down. “What about you, Thunder? What do you have to add?”

  Thunder knew she wasn’t asking for a physical gift but a declaration. He wanted to simply say ‘my heart,’ but Andy wasn’t the type to appreciate such a cheesy line.

  Thunder pulled a small bag from the table and held it out to her. It wasn’t elaborate, expensive, or have a cute label. It came from the bath store and cost two for fifteen dollars.

  When Andy peered in the bag, she looked confused. When she pulled out the two white bottles with a flower and a yellow hunk on the front, she looked even more confused. “My favorite shampoo and conditioner?” She was clearly puzzled.

  He knew he wasn’t great with words but apparently not with gifts either. A gift that needed an explanation didn’t seem like a great gift. He wanted to take it back, but if he did that, she would think he hadn’t put any thought into it. It was the opposite, he’d obsessed over it. He could’ve taken the easy route and hit her with jewelry, but that wasn’t good enough.

  “When you have a bad day, I want you to
come home, take a hot bath with a glass of wine, and just relax while I wash your hair. I want you to know that I’ve got you no matter what. And if the day after that isn’t going great, the scent of your own hair will follow you around and remind you it doesn’t matter because I’ll be waiting. I’ll wash your hair every night until your days get better. Then, you can wash mine when I need it.”

  Andy started crying in earnest, dropped the bottles to the floor, and leapt into his arms. “Oh, Thunder, I fucking love you.” She was raining kisses on his face. He turned and walked down the hall. When he came down on top of her on her bed, he pulled back enough to look into her eyes.

  “I fucking love you too.”

  “Jesus, I’ve only been waiting a week to hear that.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” Andy shifted her gaze. “Thunder, I should really tell you about that night. Or rather why I didn’t remember.”

  Thunder’s curious nature had haunted him about that. But, he knew in order to move forward with Andy he had to let it go, and he had.

  “Andy, that doesn’t matter. Only what lies ahead matters. I don’t need to know.”

  She kissed him hard and fast. “That’s exactly why I want to tell you. You’ve accepted all of me, so you deserve to know about that part. That night, after we were together, I had a fight, my first. Bitch rattled my brain. I won the fight, because I convinced Cap to let me continue, but I had a concussion. I suffered some minor memory loss of time before the fight. I was able to piece together everything with the help of other people, except our time together.”

  “You didn’t ghost me. And that means Pound can suck it.”

  “No, I didn’t but what does Pound have to do with anything?”

  Thunder shifted, feeling a little self-conscious. He wasn’t the type who had hurt feelings often, and if he did, he damn sure didn’t admit it. “My patch was still clean at the time, and Pound razzed me about not giving it to you good enough. He told all the brothers, and well, they had a field day with it because I was the new guy. I may have let it get to me and that made it worse.”

  She looked at him with faux sympathy. “Aw, did your poor wittle ego get bruised?” Thunder smiled at her playfulness. This was the Andy that he’d grown to love in a short time and couldn’t wait to learn more about.

  24

  Andrea

  This side of Thunder, one he seemed to only expose to her, was endearing. Through the phone last week, they’d really changed the dynamic of their budding relationship.

  He’d told her all about Melissa, his deployments, his losses, and his gains. Funny how the passion he spoke about the Phantoms with was probably the thing that cinched her heart up as tight as his. When he told her he would place nothing above that family, it had stung a little until she realized she was a part of that family too.

  “When do I get to meet Fern?”

  “You already did.” When he looked puzzled, she elaborated.

  “My plant, Fern. She was in the living room.”

  Thunder rolled his eyes. “I didn’t see a fern in the living room, but shit, woman, the way you talk, I expected a cat or something.”

  “She’s not a fern, she’s a Ficus.”

  They shared a laugh. Andy knew it was weird of her, but that stupid plant meant a lot to her. It was the only thing she took from her old life. Somehow, she kept it alive through everything. Their laughter slowly ebbed, and when she stared up into his eyes, she realized she’d gotten to know him so well. Well, enough to know something lurked there.

  “What?” She gentled her voice and stroked his cheek.

  “It’s, well, I’m going to sound like a pussy.”

  “I won’t tell, promise,” she said with a playful wink.

  “It was just, with all that and me thinking you ghosted me years ago, and then at Horns you said…” His voice trailed off, and he simply shrugged his shoulders, looking vulnerable.

  With all their talking and laying their pasts bare, it hit her like an uppercut. She’d explained multiple times what his words had done to her, but she never once thought about what her words might have done to him. Thunder had practically told her, but she’d been obtuse. So wrapped up in her own feelings, she ignored his completely.

  “Oh, God. I’m a total asshole.”

  “No, babe, you’re not. Forget I said anything. I just let stupid shit build up and—”

  Thunder shut up when she shimmied out from under him. He rolled over and stared at her, confused. With no finesse and no seductive prowess, she tugged at his pants. Thunder being Thunder, he lifted his ass to make her job easier. Once she had his pants and boots removed, she leaned forward and kissed his dick, which responded immediately.

  “Shit, if I’d known being a pussy would land me a blow job, I would’ve boohooed a long fucking time ago.” His hand immediately dropped to her head. He was a take control kind of guy, she knew he was ready to shove her mouth down on him. Andy was not a pro at navigating the male ego. The fact he mentioned it spoke volumes, even if he tried to downplay it. He didn’t know how to express the need for validation, but that didn’t mean he didn’t crave it.

  “Don’t you mean pretended to be a pussy?” He didn’t immediately answer. “You know, because you knew playing the part would get you a blow job.” It was a statement, but she added an upward inflection to give him an out. They both knew he was serious, but they also both know he was extremely uncomfortable with that level of vulnerability.

  The spark in his sexy as fuck eyes almost did her in. His smile, well, it did. She dropped her mouth around his cock at the same time he said, “I fucking love y—” He ended his statement on a groan as she swallowed him as deep as she could.

  Thunder’s hand fisted in her hair. “Shit, do you have any idea how hard it is not to fuck your face right now?” His words encouraged her, so she swallowed him deeper and deeper until he bottomed out in her throat.

  Andy groaned long and low, hoping to drive him insane, and let him know she found nothing inadequate about him. It worked. When his other hand fisted in her hair, he completely took over and she embraced it. Thunder pulled her hair almost painfully to guide her up his length, then shoved her back down it as he surged forward. The first time caught her by surprise and she almost gagged, but after that she was ready. Each time he dropped her face and rammed himself up, she swallowed and hollowed her cheeks.

  “Fucccckkkkk.” She felt so in tune with him, in sync. Like they’d danced this dance hundreds of times, yet it had been nowhere near that. It also felt like the first time too. “If you don’t swallow, you’ve got about two point five seconds to tell me so.”

  Instead of stopping to answer his question, without thinking, Andy brought her hand up along the side of his cock. Without missing a beat, she wet her pinkie finger with her mouth. It was the only lube available without stopping.

  She made her way around to his backside with her hand and worked her wet pinky into his ass to the first knuckle. Andy was unsure how Thunder would react but it was best he learn now she wasn’t always going to submit to him. She didn’t have a clue what’d come over her. Not only had she done nothing like that before, she’d never even thought of it. Because of his size stretching her lips, there was some extra lubrication running down his balls too. Thank God.

  Before she could even work her finger all the way inside his body, Thunder unloaded down her throat with a yell that could wake the dead. She was swallowing as fast as she could around his cock. She was grateful for Lexi’s noise canceling headphones.

  “Damn, babe. You know how to suck a dick.” He breathlessly praised her as she stood.

  With a smile, she gave him the international hold a sec signal and went to the bathroom to wash her hands. His voice followed her. “But we need to discuss what does and does not go in my body and when.”

  “Well, this is me, so deal with it.” She shouted from the bathroom. “I love when you get all alpha and take charge, but that’s not going to
be me all the time. Sometimes you’ll get to tie me up and do naughty things to my body, and sometimes, I get to play boss lady and you may end up with various things in various places.” Maybe that was a touch too far but fuck it.

  “You didn’t seem to mind my take charge attitude when I grabbed your dick at the fights. Is that going to be a deal breaker, Killer?”

  Please say no, please say no. Andy wasn’t sure if a dominant man like Thunder could handle being submissive to an extent once in a while, but she crossed her fingers waiting for his answer. She was finally regaining some of those parts of herself she loved and lost. She needed a man who could handle all of her.

  “Not a deal breaker, babe. I love you in submissive mode, but I also fucking love you in badass mode, too. Not a problem at all, I’ll take you anyway I can get you, however, we need to have pre-game briefings in the future, to make sure we both get what we need and when, okay?” Yes, she fist pumped in the mirror.

  “Of course.” Now that she’d gotten it out there, she needed Thunder to take charge the rest of the night.

  When she re-entered the room, the sexy as fuck man was lying on her bed, no pants, still wearing his shirt and cut, with his arms folded behind his head and she burst out laughing at the sight.

  “What’s so funny?” She could hear in his voice that he was still in a bliss-induced stupor.

  “You…” she managed to eke out around her peals of laughter. “You’re… Poohing it. Oh my God, I’m going to pee my pants. Yo… Pooh bear… where’s Tigger?” Andy couldn’t catch her breath.

  Thunder stood and took off the shirt and cut, but she couldn’t stop laughing. He stormed toward her, his dick already getting hard again. As he ripped her shirt over her head, he spoke with humor and heat. “First, do not pee yourself. I am into a lot of things, but that’s not one of them.”