Landon & Shay - Part One: (The L&S Duet Book 1)

by Brittainy Cherry

  “You missed my birthday,” I shot at her, and I hoped the bitterness of my tone hit her heart.

  “Yes…I know.”

  “I needed…” I shut my eyes and took deep inhales. “I needed you, and you weren’t there.”

  I never admitted to needing anything or anyone, because I thought it would’ve made me weak. Yet there I was—weak, broken, and still in need of that fucking hug.

  “I needed you, Mom, and you still got on that plane and left. Didn’t you know? Didn’t you know I needed you?”

  “I did,” she said. She lowered her head and stared at the parking lot pavement.

  “That’s it? That’s all you can give me? Because honestly, I’m going to need a lot more than that.”

  “Landon…your father and I…he…we’re…” She swallowed hard and looked back up to me. “Your father is leaving me.”

  Wait…what?

  She nervously shifted around in her shoes. “We’ve been struggling for some time now, ever since Lance passed away. We fought a lot over my brother’s death, and he blamed me for your struggles for allowing Lance to stay with us all those years.”

  “That’s bullshit.”

  “Sometimes I wonder if he’s right. Sometimes I wonder about the mistakes I’ve made raising you around my brother, knowing of his mental struggles.”

  “Lance was a good man, Mom. He taught me a lot of good. Life was better with him around. With you both around.”

  A weighted sigh slipped through her lips. “It’s good to hear that, Landon. You have no clue. But, your father isn’t in love with me anymore and doesn’t wish to continue in this marriage. He said he doesn’t feel as if we are a right fit, therefore he’s leaving me. It’s been in the works for a while now. I’ve been struggling, trying to find my footing. When I married your father, I thought it would be forever. So, when he gave me a prenup, I signed it without a moment’s thought. But…he’s taking everything, Landon. He’s leaving me with nothing. That’s why I was in Hawaii, meeting with Katie’s divorce lawyer. Then, the girls were helping use their connections to land me stylist jobs. That’s why I started back working. I needed some kind of income.”

  “He’s taking everything?”

  “Yes. Every cent. That’s why I was so curious about if he was messing around with April, because of a clause in the prenup. If he cheated, I would’ve at least not lost everything. I would’ve received income which I could’ve used toward your college funds.”

  I arched an eyebrow. “Toward my college?”

  “Yes. I know how much you don’t want to go into law next fall, but your father is determined that you do for his own selfish reasons. I don’t want that for you, though. I’ve lived under your father’s shadow for so long, I don’t want that for you. I want to be able to provide for you and give you the income to help with you going into the major of your choice. That’s why when these jobs came up, I had to take them. I knew I couldn’t lose out on such a big lump sum of money that could’ve been used to help you.”

  She was thinking of me. After all these weeks I’d spent being upset with her, it turned out she was thinking of me the whole time. She wasn’t abandoning me—she was fighting for me. She wasn’t going on these luxury trips around the world, she was hustling hard to provide for me.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “The lawyer said it would be best to get all my ducks in a row before bringing you into it. They didn’t want your involvement pushing your father to be more vicious than he already plans to be. I wanted to tell you sooner, Land. I hated keeping this from you. I hated holding this all in for so long, but…” Her body began shaking in the chilled air, and I took off my coat and wrapped it around her.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I said the only thing that really came to mind. “I’m sorry Dad’s a dick.”

  She laughed and started crying. “It’s okay.”

  Without any more thought, I hugged her, and like always, I melted into her arms. “I’m sorry,” I said again, this time for her hurting. She cried into my shoulder, and I held her even tighter.

  She pulled back a little, nervously laughing as she wiped away her tears. “I didn’t plan on crying, I swear.”

  “You always cry.”

  “Not always,” she snickered. “I got your flowers,” she said, handing me the now smooshed up bouquet from our hug. “They looked better before, I swear. I’m not sure if you’re supposed to give male actors flowers, but I’m your mother, so you’re getting flowers.”

  I smirked. “Thanks.”

  “Do you want to go home and watch some bad movies and stuff our faces?” she asked.

  “One hundred percent.”

  For the time being, I put KJ to the back of my mind. I knew I’d have to deal with that sooner than later, but for now, Mom was home, and I didn’t want to waste a minute of my time with her.

  “I can cook us something,” she offered.

  “No offense, Mom, but please stay away from the kitchen for the remainder of your life.”

  She smiled. “Fair enough.”

  We got home, ordered in some food, and trashed the living room. We didn’t even turn on the television, we talked for hours.

  “So, this acting thing,” Mom said, smiling from ear to ear. “You’re into it?”

  “I mean, yeah. I told Dad I was thinking of picking up a theater major next fall, but he shut down that idea.”

  “Your father doesn’t get to control your choices. That’s why I’ve been working so hard—to give you that freedom.”

  “I don’t want to put all that stress on you. That’s too much for you to do for me.”

  “Landon.” She shook her head and placed her hands on my shoulders. “Everything I do, is for you. If you want to go into the acting program at your college, then we are going to get you into the acting program at your college. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

  I nodded once. “I don’t even know if I’m good enough—”

  “You’re good enough,” she cut in, “you’ve always been good enough to do anything.” She tossed a French fry into her mouth. “On another topic… Is there anything there between Miss Juliet, or is that all acting?”

  I laughed. “Is it that obvious?”

  “Only to a mother’s eyes. The way you look at her... What’s the story there?”

  Oh, if only she knew.

  “It’s complicated. We’ve been doing really good. She’s been good for me, Mom, but recently I’ve found something out that could change her life forever. I’m not sure what to do with the information, either. I know it will hurt her, but I also know that keeping it from her is wrong.”

  “The key to a good relationship is communication, Landon. Your father and I never really had that. We never talked, not really. Maybe about things on the surface, but never anything of true meaning. Maybe if we would’ve, our relationship would be stronger. Or perhaps it would’ve ended much sooner. All I know is that you can’t build something strong without having hard conversations every now and then. Do you care about this girl?”

  “I love her,” I said with confidence.

  “Love.” Mom breathed out, placing her hand over her heart. “My baby boy is in love.”

  “Don’t cry about it,” I joked.

  “I’ll try not to. If you love her, then be one hundred percent honest with her. That’s what I would’ve wanted. That’s what all girls want. Honesty.”

  I knew she was right. It just sucked building up the nerve to tell Shay something that I knew was going to break her heart.

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Always. I love you, I love you,” she said.

  “Why do you always do that?” I asked. “Why do you always say “I love you” twice?”

  She smiled. “Once for your heart. Twice to leave an imprint.”

  I nodded. “I love you times two.” Her eyes watered over and I laughed. “Stop crying so much, Mom.”

  “I’m sorry. That was really sweet, and you have no
clue how much I needed to hear that.”

  “I’ll do my best to make sure I say it more.”

  “Thanks, Land.”

  “How are you doing, though? With everything going on with Dad?” I shifted around in my seat and took a question from Maria’s handbook. “How’s your heart?”

  She started crying again, shaking her head. “Broken. It’s been broken for some time now…with everything that happened with Lance, and the miscarriage, and now this divorce, it just feels like I can’t get my footing. I can’t stop drowning,” she confessed, covering her face with her hands. “I’m sorry. This is too much for you. You don’t have to carry my burdens. I’m okay. I’m fine.”

  “You can talk to me, Mom,” I offered.

  “I know, honey.” She wiped her eyes and stood up. She moved over to me and kissed my forehead. “I just need rest, that’s all. We’ll talk in the morning. Good night.”

  She headed to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

  I cleaned up the mess we made, and as I was heading toward my bedroom, I walked past Mom’s where I heard her crying inside. She sounded as if every single part of her was breaking that very night.

  Instead of sitting outside of her bedroom like I used to, I turned the knob. I walked into her room, climbed into bed with her, and wrapped my arms around her.

  “Landon, I’m okay. I’m okay,” she whimpered, but I shushed her. She didn’t have to pretend to be okay with me. She didn’t have to lie and say everything was fine when it was clear she was in the middle of one of the hardest storms of her life.

  Her breaking down didn’t mean she wasn’t strong. Sometimes the strongest thing a person could ever do was fall apart. It took real strength to become that vulnerable.

  “It’s okay, Mom. Fall apart. Don’t worry. I got you.”

  She cried into me for the remainder of the night, and I refused to let her go.

  26

  Landon

  After the weekend, Mom headed out for another job opportunity. She kept going on and on about feeling bad for leaving me again, but I told her she was leaving for us, for our future. Plus, I promised to call her every night to talk. That seemed to bring her some comfort.

  I still hadn’t told Shay what I’d learned about KJ, seeing how I spent the whole weekend making sure Mom was okay, but I knew I’d have to tell her after school that afternoon. I couldn’t keep something that big from her. Even though it was going to crush her, I knew she had every right to know.

  “Landon, hey.” KJ away from the wall as he stood on my front porch Monday morning as I was getting ready to head out to school. I knew at some point he’d rear his ugly head at my place. How could he not? He couldn’t ignore seeing me after that evening.

  I didn’t say a word. I didn’t owe a man like him a greeting.

  He brushed his hands over his face before stuffing them into his pockets. He looked nothing like his daughter. Well, nothing like Shay at least. Who knew what his other kid looked like? She could’ve been his spitting image. That would’ve sucked for her, though. Her father looked like an asshole.

  “Listen—” he started, but I cut him off.

  “You have two daughters,” I said. “Does Shay know that?”

  He stood tall. Almost emotionless. It was eerily creepy how calm he appeared. “There are things in this life that you’re too young to understand.”

  “That sounds like a bullshit response from a bullshit human.”

  “You think I wanted this to happen? I never thought in a million years you’d be in the same show as my daughter. I never thought—”

  “That you’d get caught.”

  “You can’t say anything,” he warned.

  “Excuse me?”

  “You can’t. Landon, if my family finds out about this, it will ruin us. Why would you want to hurt Shay like that?”

  “You need to leave,” I sneered, my voice low and controlled. “We don’t have anything else to say to each other.”

  He brushed his hand against the back of his neck and shook his head. “Just give me a week to tell them. Give me that time to break the news.”

  I didn’t say a word, because he didn’t deserve my words. Plus, I knew he was lying, because that was what he did best.

  As he turned to walk away, he paused and looked back to me. “Are you in love with my daughter?”

  The words rolled from his tongue as if he was pained by even having to ask them. I didn’t answer, though. Again, my words weren’t made for him.

  He sighed. “If you care anything about her, you won’t get any more involved. She’s a good kid. She’s the best kid.”

  “I hope your other daughter doesn’t hear you saying that,” I spat out.

  Still, he showed hardly any emotions on his face. He simply appeared hardened. “I see you, Landon. I see you and the fucked-up life that you live, and I don’t want my daughter around that kind of mess.”

  “Funny, coming from you.”

  “No, I get it. I’m a monster. I am not a good person, and I have fucked up my family more than I can say. That’s why I’m saying you should stay away. Shay already has a monster in her life. She doesn’t need two.”

  “Yeah, well, too bad you don’t have the right to tell me what to do.”

  “You think you’re better than me? Better than my demons? I’ve watched you; I see your broken pieces in your eyes. You’re never going to stop fighting the demon that lives in your soul. I don’t need you bringing that crap around my daughter. Before she started hanging around you, she was good. She was well behaved and obedient.”

  “She’s not a damn puppy.”

  “Yes, but before you, she was house trained. She never spoke back. Never skipped school, never lied, never snuck out of the house. You’re doing that to her. You’re making her someone she isn’t.”

  I stood tall with my arms crossed tight. My mind was running wild from his words, and I tried my hardest not to move, because if I moved, I’d punch him out.

  “Thanks for the talk.”

  “I’m not kidding, Landon. Stay away from my daughter.”

  “Okay.” I nodded, sliding my hands into my jean’s pockets. “But, remind me quick. Which daughter are we speaking about?”

  “You really don’t want to push me, kid. I’ve been on this Earth a lot longer than you; I’ve been a monster longer. I know how to hurt people. To make them suffer. Don’t cross me. Trust me, you’ll regret it.”

  His lips sealed shut and he didn’t say another word. He walked to his car, climbed inside, and drove off. Then, I headed to school to tell his daughter the truth.

  I waited until after theater rehearsal to tell Shay about her father. I didn’t want to do it during the day, because I wasn’t certain how she’d react, and I didn’t want to throw her off before rehearsal.

  As time ticked by, the knot in my stomach grew bigger and bigger.

  “Opening night is going to be so good,” Shay said as she packed up her things in the auditorium. “You get better every single night, which is kind of annoying,” she joked.

  “You’re amazing,” I said somberly, feeling completely guilty for what I was about to tell her. “Do you know that? Do you know that you’re an amazing person?”

  Her cheeks reddened a bit. “Don’t do that.”

  “Do what?”

  “Make it so easy to fall for you. Do you want to go get some food or something?” she asked.

  “Aren’t you still grounded?”

  “Yes, but it doesn’t matter. I’ll just tell them rehearsal went late.”

  She was planning on lying to them. That fact alone made my skin crawl. Maybe KJ wasn’t wrong. Maybe I was a bad move for his daughter. Maybe while she was making me better, I was making her worst.

  “Don’t do that, Chick,” I murmured.

  “Do what?”

  “Become a liar.”

  She arched an eyebrow at me. “Are you okay?”

  Everyone else had already gathered thei
r things to head home, leaving the two of us alone in the theater space. I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “Yeah, there’s just something big I have to tell you and it’s making me nervous.”

  She stood up straighter. “What is it?” She stepped closer to me, concern in her eyes. “How’s your heart?”

  I snickered. “You’re sounding a lot like your grandmother.”

  “Landon,” she said sternly, placing her hand against my chest, “how’s your heart?”

  Chills raced through me. “Still beating.”

  “Good,” she muttered, nodding slowly, “good.”

  I shifted around in my shoes. “Look, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m going to blurt it out because if I keep it in anymore, I’m going to explode so—”

  “I love you,” she said, cutting me off.

  Every thought I’d been thinking left me right in that moment. Every negative feeling in my head evaporated into thin air. My stare fell to her lips, and for a second, I thought I’d imagined it. I thought I was so delusional from the past few days that I’d officially lost my mind. She must’ve picked up on the baffled look in my eyes, because she stepped closer to me and took my hands into hers.

  “Sorry,” she whispered. “I just wanted to say it before you. I’m fine with losing the bet, because I love you.” She paused and narrowed her eyes. “That’s what you were going to say, right? That you love me?”

  I grimaced, and she flicked slightly.

  Her cheeks turned red and she dropped her head. “Oh…”

  Shit.

  I saw the emotional spilling out of her eyes. “No, that’s not it. But—”

  “It’s okay, Landon, because I love you,” she repeated. “I love you, I love you, I love you. And I know this means I’ve lost the bet. I know this means you win, and I don’t even care because I love you, and loving you makes me feel like a winner. I just wanted to tell you that, because I couldn’t keep it in much longer. You don’t even have to say it back. I don’t care. Because I don’t think you tell people you love them just so you can hear it back. I think you tell people you love them because it feels like a rocket in your soul. The love becomes so powerful that it shoots through you until you’re finally forced to express it through words. So yeah,” She laughed nervously and shrugged her shoulders. “This is awkward, but I love you, Landon Harrison. I love you in the light and in the dark. I love you like a whisper and like a shout. I love your good days and your bad days, and I…love…you. All of you. Every single piece…” She began fiddling with her fingers, and her T-shirt collar moved between her lips, “And every single scar.”