The Cat Ninja

by Erik DeLeo

  The pads of her paw touched the smooth class of the bottle. It felt heavenly. Inside was shoyu, also known as soy sauce. The name “Kikkoman” was prominently displayed on the label. All Miko had to do was give it a little push. Her mind screamed no. Her front leg said yes.

  She gave the bottle a little tap. It moved. The move felt glorious.

  No, no, no!

  Miko’s mind raced. Her other front leg shot out, attempting to grab her paw away. In her rush to prevent tragedy, she hit the bottle. Time seemed to slow. There was a small sound as the bottom of the bottle rubbed against the countertop. Then in fell.

  It shattered all over the floor, sending glass, soy sauce, and the familiar smell everywhere. The second after it was off the counter, the spell was broken and Miko’s mind was back in control. Before the first bark came from the dog’s room, Miko was off, scampering for the stairs, her claws scraping on the polished tiles and grout.

  She rushed up the stairs. The barking grew louder. There was commotion behind her and a thump as something collided with a wall. Then another crash as something fell over. The dog was up. It must have hit something. As Miko crested the top of the stairwell, a halo of light blinked on around one of the doorways. Things had gone from bad to downright dangerous.

  She scurried through the open door raced into the empty spare bedroom. The barking was unrelenting, and the sound barreled up the stairs after her—the intruder. Miko, at full speed, launched herself at the windowsill. She tried to squeeze through, but her outfit caught on the corner of the window’s edge. Miko was stuck. She tried to push through the hole she had cut through the screen, and heard a rip. The barking grew dangerously close. Right as the dog entered the room, the fabric of her black outfit gave way, and she landed on the balcony outside.

  With fear fueling her escape, Miko jumped off, landing on a nearby tree and disappearing into the landscape of long, moonlit shadows. The echoes of a frantic dog filled the crisp night air behind her.

  Damage Control

  “What?” exclaimed Sukoshi loudly, before lowering his voice.

  The cat and the mouse were huddled in the back of the teahouse near one of the various small entrances Sukoshi used to get in and out. It was night, so the store was closed and all you could hear were the hum of condensers from the refrigeration units.

  “Yes. I’m serious. It happened again!”

  “What was it this time? A piece of string? A sock? Toilet paper?!?”

  Miko shook her head, both in self-disgust and to let the mouse know it wasn’t any of those things.

  “It was a bottle of soy sauce,” she mumbled.

  The field mouse let out an exasperated sigh. “This isn’t good, Miko. This isn’t good at all.” A look of worry crossed his furry face. “First off, I’m disappointed you ruined a perfectly good bottle of soy. Second, you may have jeopardized the whole mission.”

  “I know,” mumbled Miko, “but before you decide to fire me as your client, you should at least know I found something.”

  Sukoshi’s eyes widened. “You did? Why didn’t you say so.”

  “I did,” replied Miko, “but you were too busy being upset to notice.”

  “Okay, fine. Show me what you got.”

  Miko pulled the folded and crumpled piece of paper from inside her outfit.

  “What is it?” asked Sukoshi.

  “I don’t know.”

  Now that Miko held it out in the open, she could tell it wasn’t exactly a piece of paper. It was a napkin. She slowly unfolded it, trying to ensure she didn’t rip the thin paper, and laid it flat on the floor.

  There was a figure of a dog in the center with a name underneath. Sukoshi leaned in, eager to decipher the words. The only problem was, Sukoshi couldn’t read.

  “What does it say?” he asked earnestly.

  “It says Uisuki Inu—The Whiskey Dog,” replied Miko. “I think it’s a bar.”

  “Why would there be a bar napkin hidden under the dog’s collar? A dog that could be Mrs. Kanin’s husband.”

  “I don’t know. Looks like I’ll have to go investigate.”

  “Are you sure that’s wise? Your last mission was almost ruined by a bottle of soy sauce. What’s next, a catnip toy?”

  Miko shot Sukoshi a wicked glare. Sukoshi was not deterred.

  “I don’t have to put up with this.”

  “Yes you do. I need to be able to rely on you. I need…”

  “Don’t tell me what you need,” hissed Miko. “What I need is a certain field mouse to stop pestering me about the stupid soy sauce so we can move on and solve this case.”

  Sukoshi opened his mouth as if to say something, but hesitated. Miko didn’t waste the opportunity.

  “Tomorrow I’m going to check this place out. I need your support, not your doubts. I promise something like the soy sauce won’t happen again, so please don’t bring it up anymore.”

  Without waiting to see Sukoshi’s reaction, Miko got up and stashed her uniform and weapons in her secret cache, a compartment hidden under a loose tile back by the entrance to the kitchen. By the time she got back to the front of the teahouse, Sukoshi was gone.

  She curled up on a stool and groused, unhappy with herself. Miko tried to sleep, but her mind wouldn’t stop running. She tried laying on her stomach, her sides and even her back, but nothing seemed to help her restlessness.

  Her thoughts drifted to her master Kobayashi-san. He had taught her, among other things, various meditation techniques. They normally worked, but a bottle of soy sauce had made Miko’s training meaningless, and it was bothering her enough that she couldn’t sleep. And if Miko couldn’t get a good sixteen hours of beauty sleep in, she would be no fun to be around and useless for any potential ninja missions. It called for desperate measures.

  She would have to visit her old master. The problem was, ninjas were a reclusive bunch and she hadn’t seen him in years. Not since the big argument they had.

  Miko took a deep breath. She didn’t want to see him, but at the same, the fear of having another incident occur like the soy sauce was stronger. Annoyed, she got up.

  She slunk out of the teahouse through the cat door and headed towards Tetsugaku-no-michi, also known as the Philosopher’s Walk. It’s the one place that Kobayashi-san frequently visited, and it was time to find him.

  Kobayashi

  The paved stone walkway was cold to the touch. A chill hung in the evening air, and the weather was damp and overcast. The lights of Kyoto reflected back off the low-hanging clouds, masking their gray with a cloak of white illumination.

  It was easy for a black cat like Miko to blend in to the shadows surrounding the Philosopher’s Walk, even easier if one were a ninja. The crowds were minimal due to the cold, and Miko made her way towards the Temple of the Silver Pavilion known as Ginkaku-ji. It was a noble structure, with paneled doors that hung from hinges and two decorative, pent roofs stacked on top of one another that curved up at the ends.

  The approach to the pavilion was covered largely by a sand garden. Out of respect, Miko stuck to the path and made her way around it without setting foot in the gravel. Beyond it and the temple was a beautiful Japanese garden complete with a pond, well-trimmed trees and manicured bushes. She wasn’t sure if her old master would be here, but if he was, Miko was likely to find him on the stones ringing the edge of the water.

  She circled the perimeter of the pond, being careful to keep close to the shadows and out of the light. By the time she got to the opposite end of the pond, Miko still hadn’t spotted Kobayashi. She slowly made her way back, eyes narrowed on the lookout for her sensei.

  “Looking for someone?”

  Startled, Miko hissed and jumped straight into the air, spouting a slew of foul language as she went. Kobayashi stepped out from the cover of a bush’s branches, his paws folded together in front of him.

  “The first secret of a ninja is to be like the Earth, to be grounded, Miko-san,” said Kobayashi bluntly. “It seems you have already
forgotten that.”

  Miko landed back on all fours, her hair standing up in a ridge along her back and the fur on her tail poofed out. Her eyes narrowed. Her old master was a slender cat, all sinew and muscle and short fur. He was a rare male tortoiseshell cat, his mostly black fur speckled with tan and brown, providing natural camouflage.

  “You purposely scared me,” accused Miko.

  “Did I? Even if true, a good ninja is never surprised.”

  Miko bristled at the backhanded insult, and tried to smooth out her fur in earnest. She felt heat in her face. She hated being embarrassed and let out a sigh before speaking.

  “Please excuse my mistake, sensei. It won’t happen again.”

  Kobayashi, stone faced, opened one eye bigger than the other.

  “Won’t it?” The question hung in the air, unanswered. “Come, walk with me.”

  She fell into place beside her former teacher. His paws were now clasped together and hung behind him, his front legs resting around his back.

  “I’m assuming you have sought me out for good reason, Miko-san. I have not seen you since your last training. It has been a long while.”

  “Yes, master. It has been some time. I came with a question about, well, about how to focus in my meditations better.”

  “That is an interesting question. You were always an impulsive cat. You never stuck me as one who enjoyed exercises of the mind, much. Sword first, questions later.”

  Maybe it was the fact they were waling, but the words tumbled out of Miko before she had a chance to think. She explained her latest mission, including the episode with the bottle of soy sauce. Kobayashi listened intently without interruption. When Miko was finished, the sensei took a few more steps before turning to face her. Behind her, the surface of the pond rippled as a single Koi fish flipped its tail.

  “Everyone has lessons to learn, even myself. Some of these lessons feel like battles, especially if they’re inside.”

  “I can’t believe someone like you still has lessons to learn. You teach students.”

  Kobayashi paused. “No longer.”

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “After you left, I disbanded the school. You’re my greatest accomplishment, but also my biggest failure.”

  The words cut into Miko like a knife. She could feel sadness and regret churning up inside her. Miko tried composing herself, focusing on the first secret—being grounded in mind and body. She had left because she felt like she had nothing else to learn. She could easily best the other students and even the sparring with her master had become less of a challenge. It took her a few moments, but she calmed herself before speaking.

  “It saddens me to learn that I was such a disappointment to you.”

  Kobayashi responded by laughing, both surprising and irritating Miko. Once again, she tried to rein in her feelings and meditate on the first secret.

  “One can never take things personally. That is another lesson,” said the sensei, still chuckling.

  “Forgive me, Kobayashi-san.”

  “There is nothing for me to forgive. On the contrary, you must forgive yourself.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Here, look out at the water. What do you see?”

  Miko turned. The water was green during the daylight, but now it looked opaque, a black sheet of glass save for an occasional ripple.

  “It’s smooth. At least on the surface.”

  Suddenly the water exploded close to the edge of the pond, a spray of wet shooting upwards. Miko whipped her head around, trying to see where the disturbance came from. Her old master smiled at her.

  “And what happens after a rock gets tossed in? No…don’t look at me,” said Kobayahi, pointing past her to the pond. “Look at the water.”

  Miko turned her head back around and observed.

  “It gets calm again. It looks like the rock was never thrown in.”

  “Precisely. And if you were that pond, you’d still be shooting water into the air.”

  Miko tried and failed to focus on the first secret. She could feel her cheeks getting hot. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, looking out across the smooth, surface.

  “I am not a pond, sensei.”

  “Neither am I, but unlike you, I wouldn’t still be spitting water.”

  Miko wished she were as quick with her comments as she was with her sword. Even if she could defeat her sensei in battle, she would never be able to beat his words.

  “I wish I could be perfect sensei, but unlike you, I am not.”

  Kobayashi laughed again. “You are funny when you try to be humble, because it’s really frustrated arrogance.” He continued. “You hold yourself to impossible ideals. I am not perfect. You are not perfect. Even the planet is imperfectly perfect. Now, let us talk about your so-called ‘problems.’”

  Without warning, Miko was left standing there as her master began walking again.

  “We don’t have to talk about the second secret of the ninja. You already are like fire…maybe too much fire,” he said, chuckling again. “You are trying to fight your instincts, a subject we’ve discussed, which means you are trying to fight yourself. And that is not how you will experience victory. To truly experience victory, you must embrace your instincts.”

  Miko visibly recoiled. To put it mildly, the thought was uncomfortable.

  “I don’t remember you talking to me about this.”

  “People often don’t listen when they’re not ready to hear. Perhaps I used different words, but the lesson was the same. Except this time, you’re open to learning.”

  “How do you know?” asked Miko.

  “Because you are here.”

  Lesson

  “Now, clear your mind,” said Kobayahi.

  “I can’t.” Miko’s entire body was tense, as she stood in a ready position, lower legs spread apart.

  “Why not?” he asked.

  “Because you’re dangling a feather in front of me and all I want to do is swat at it with my paws!”

  “Good! Now feel that feeling.”

  “I don’t want to.”

  “That’s the point.”

  Miko tightened her jaw, trying to squash what she felt inside. Suddenly the feather disappeared, pulled behind Kobayashi’s back.

  “You’re trying to push your feelings away,” chided the sensei.

  “No I’m not,” protested Miko.

  “Now you’re lying about it.”

  Miko groaned. “Fine. I’m trying to ignore my urge to swat the stupid thing.”

  “No,” corrected Kobayashi, “you’re trying to fight your instincts. You have to accept your instincts. Once you accept them, you gain power over them.”

  “What?” asked Miko, clearly annoyed. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “That is because you don’t yet understand.”

  “I don’t understand any of this.”

  “Precisely.”

  “I don’t think I possess the words to fully express to you how annoyed I am right now.”

  “Great! Yes, Miko. Feeeeeeeel that!”

  “You want me to feel annoyed?”

  “Yes!”

  “Like really annoyed?”

  “Exactly. Yes.”

  “Well, I feel,” replied Miko, stressing the word for emphasis, “that I want to attack the feather and then attack you for teasing me with it.”

  “Congratulations!”

  Miko let out an exasperated sigh. “I have no idea what’s going on.”

  “That’s because you’ve been pushing your feelings away. This may be the first time you’re feeling them. Honestly feeling them.”

  “So by feeling my feelings about lacking discipline and these overwhelming internal instincts, I’ll somehow overcome the urges?”

  “And here I said you were my biggest disappointment,” replied Kobayashi smiling. “By feeling the feeling and actually being ok with the feeling means you’ll have the power to let it go.”


  “This sounds like a trap,” said Miko suspiciously.

  “I can promise you as surely as I test the sharpness of your weapons, it’s not. Let’s try it again.”

  Her sensei began dangling the feather in front of her once again. Attached to the end of a stick by some sting, it danced and teased and beckoned. Miko could feel a tightness building in her body. She closed her eyes, trying to relax and breath deeply.

  “Open your eyes!” goaded Kobayashi.

  Miko’s eyes shot open. She could feel emotions and frustration threatening to overtake her outward signs of calm.

  “Feel the storm inside you, kobito.”

  The storm inside Miko raged. Her sensei hadn’t used kobito, his term of endearment, since she had first started her training many moons ago. She hadn’t heard it in years, and it pulled on her heart. Miko tried to imagine herself in the eye of a typhoon, a center of calm as things roiled around her.

  She followed the feather with her eyes. Her claws twitched, itching to strike. Miko stood there, unmoving on the outside, but a mess internally. It felt overwhelming. Then a curious thing happened. For a brief moment, she experienced a sense of calm. It was fleeting, but it was definitely real. Miko couldn’t contain her excitement.

  “I felt it! I felt it!”

  Kobayashi dropped the stick attached to the feather, and Miko’s inner torment stopped.

  “What did you feel?”

  “I don’t know. It was weird. Like, I wanted to attack it but I was okay with not attacking it at the same time.”

  A smile slowly spread across her sensei’s face and his whiskers pulled back revealing his sharp teeth.

  “You have glimpsed just the beginning of what the first secret truly means.

  “I’ve never experienced anything like that before.”

  “Mastery of oneself is the ultimate form of control. All other expressions of control are an illusion. Remember that.”

  Miko nodded.

  “Your lesson for today over.”

  “Really?”

  “No, not really. We’ve only just begun. Again.”