Loving the Cowboy

by J. P. Bowie

  “Good deal,” Jordan said. “And good to have you back, Tim.” He gave Tim a hug then set off toward his Jeep.

  Without Tim realizing what had happened, when he looked around, everyone had gone, leaving only him, and Ryan, standing beside him. He was all too aware of the man’s tall presence. He was maybe two inches or so taller than Tim, and the way his muscular body filled out the blue checkered shirt he was wearing was, at the very least, eye-popping. He had a pleasant woodsy scent, and before Tim realized what he was doing, he was leaning into the man to get closer to that scent. He caught himself just in time. Whoa…what the fuck’re you doin’?

  He stepped back and cleared his throat. “Well, nice meeting you, Ryan. I’m just gonna tell Rosie I’m back.”

  “Rosie?”

  “My horse. I bought her when I first came to work here three years ago.”

  “Oh.” He fell in step with Tim and they walked toward the stable stalls. “So, ‘el primo’, huh?”

  Tim’s cheeks heated again. “Parker likes to exaggerate. I was fair-to-middlin’, in my estimation. Got thrown more times than I care to remember.”

  “Know what you mean. You’ve been off the circuit for three years?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You miss it?”

  “Sometimes. But the good pay and the environment here make up for it. Don’t have to worry ’bout transportation from one town to the next, and where my next meal’s comin’ from if I don’t win.”

  “There is that. Don’t know if I’m quite ready to give it up yet, though.”

  Tim nodded. “It’s a big decision. There y’are, my beautiful Rosie.” The chestnut mare whinnied in response and nuzzled Tim’s shoulder when he put his arms around her neck.

  “She’s a beauty,” Ryan said. “I wondered why she wasn’t being used in the training.”

  “She is when I’m here. I asked Seth to exercise her while I was gone.”

  “Oh yeah, I saw him taking her out on the pasture after we were done for the day. Nice guy, Seth.”

  “He is, long as he’s not trying to set you up with every single guy he comes across…or single lady if that’s your fancy.”

  Ryan chuckled. “Is that your way of finding out if I’m gay or straight?”

  “Not really. I’m not interested either way.”

  “Whoa.” Ryan’s handsome face creased in a frown. “That’s a bit curt, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, sorry.” Tim bit his lip. “I guess I’m a bit more outta sorts than I thought. I’m not usually that rude.” He gazed into Ryan’s unusual light brown eyes. “I apologize.”

  “That’s okay.” Ryan patted his shoulder. “I understand. You’ve been through a lot with your mom and dad being killed and all. Must’ve been a terrible shock.”

  “It was…still is. It’s hard to get used to the idea they’re not there at home anymore.” He patted Rosie’s neck, kissed her nose and sighed. “I better get myself unpacked, take a shower.”

  “You wanna have a beer with me, in the common room, as Royce calls it?”

  “Even after I was rude?”

  “Sure. I’m not that sensitive.”

  “Okay, I’ll meet you there after I shower.”

  Ryan smiled and Tim saw some teasing in that smile. Nope, not interested. He’s a looker all right, just like Seth said, with those unusual eyes the color of whiskey and that lush mouth, and those muscles…but I don’t need a guy in my life right now. And with someone I work with…big mistake. And why am I even thinking about, it? I met him not a half hour ago. Get a grip, for Chrissakes.

  He took his time in the shower thinking maybe Ryan would get pissed and take off, but, Oh, that’s right, he’s bunking here, he might come knockin’ on my door…shit. He dried off quickly and got dressed, opting for a T-shirt, shorts and sneakers. He breathed a mental sigh of relief when he entered the common room and saw Stu talking with Ryan.

  “Hi, guys.”

  “Tim…” Stu got up off the couch and gave him another hug. “How’re you holding up?”

  “Okay. It’ll take time, but being back here with you guys will help. Thanks, Ryan.” He took the can of beer Ryan handed him. “It’s funny, but somehow the ranch feels more like home to me than the house in Reno.”

  “I feel the same way,” Stu said. “Nowhere else I’d rather live. ’Course, foster homes ain’t real homes…at least they never were for me.”

  “You were fostered?” Ryan stared at him, frowning.

  “Yep, from the time I was five until I was seventeen.” Stu sighed. “Three different homes, and I didn’t fit in any of ’em.”

  “Where was this?” Ryan asked.

  “Oklahoma City. I left the last one when things got hinky and hitched my way to California.”

  “When you say hinky…what d’you mean?”

  “I’ll leave it to your imagination ’cause I don’t wanna talk about it.”

  Ryan nodded. “Oh, okay. I respect that.”

  Stu sighed. “Don’t wanna be rude, but…”

  “It’s okay, Stu.” Ryan reached over and squeezed the young man’s shoulder. “Everyone has a right to their privacy.”

  Tim had heard Stu’s story before, but he wasn’t inclined to fill in any blanks unless Stu wanted them known. The abuse he’d had suffered in the last foster home he’d been in had bordered on the horrific

  “I guess I was lucky,” he said quietly. “My parents were pretty conservative and never knew I was gay, but they were decent people and—”

  Ryan snorted. “Would they have been decent people if you’d have told them, I wonder?”

  “I’ll never know now, will I? But I’d like to think they would’ve still loved me.”

  Ryan nodded and Stu got up to get some more beer from the fridge. He patted Tim’s shoulder in passing. “We’re on a kinda morose topic,” he said, coming back and handing them fresh beers.

  “Yeah, sorry, my fault.” Tim popped the pull tab and took a long swallow of the cold brew. “Still feeling the blues, I guess.” Truth was, Ryan’s remark about his parents had rankled and his sister’s warning had wormed its way back into his mind. Maybe they wouldn’t have gone on loving him. He hated to think of them turning away from him, but he knew the possibility had been there. He wasn’t so naïve as to imagine all those stories about gay kids abandoned by their folks could never apply to him. That thought alone was enough to depress the crap out of him. “Guess I’ll hit the sack, leave you guys to it.”

  “You just got here,” Ryan said in protest. “Stay. We’re not Abbot and Costello, but we’re pretty good company. Better than lying awake, staring at the ceiling.”

  “Okay.” The guy was right. What was the point of festering over things he no longer had control over?

  “What about you, Stu?” Ryan asked

  “I’m stayin’. We could watch a movie on Netflix.”

  “How about a horror flick?” Ryan picked up the remote.

  “No.” Tim shook his head. “Something action-filled and crazy that’ll perk us up some.”

  “Like?” Ryan froze the remote on a screenshot. “John Carter!”

  “Oh yeah,” Stu exclaimed. “I love me some Taylor Kitsch.”

  Tim laughed. “Which of us has not seen it multiple times?”

  “Only three times,” Ryan said. “I’m game.”

  Stu jumped up. “I’ll go get us some chips from the vending machine. Be right back.”

  “Another nice guy,” Ryan said as Stu disappeared through the doorway. “Cute, too.”

  “He is, and it’s amazing how level-headed and optimistic he is, after what he’s been through.”

  “Care to elaborate?”

  “Sorry, no. It’s not my story to tell. But I think Stu tries to make up for his lonely past by being a bit of a serial dater.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah. I’m surprised he’s here. Most nights he heads out to meet some guy or other.”

  “No one steady?”

>   “Not that I know of. Are you interested?”

  Ryan grinned. “I could be, seein’ as how you told me you weren’t interested in me.”

  Tim flushed. “Oh, now. I apologized for that. I just don’t need involvement in my life, and, with someone I work with? That could lead to all kinds of problems.”

  “Guess you’re right. I might be lookin’ at your fine ass instead of paying attention to a guest.”

  Tim’s cheeks grew hotter. “You’ve been lookin’ at my ass?”

  “Why not? It’s certainly well worth lookin’ at.” He chuckled then switched his gaze from Tim’s red face to the door when Stu came bouncing back in carrying a load of bags.

  “I gotta mixture, so choose whatever.” He threw the bags on the table in front of them, grabbed one for himself then plopped onto the couch between Tim and Ryan. “Okay, movie time. Barsoom—here we come!”

  Chapter Five

  By the end of his second week back at the ranch, it became more and more difficult for Tim to ignore Ryan’s obvious interest in him. Well, obvious to him anyway. It struck him as strange that no one had mentioned it—not in passing, not even in a humorous way. More surprising was Seth’s silence on the matter. He was usually the first one to engage Tim in banter about his love life, or rather lack of same. Seth wasn’t mute exactly—that would take an act of Congress—but he’d said nothing approaching Ryan’s lookin’ like he wants to get more than just friendly with you, or something similar. Was it all only in Tim’s mind? Was he imagining that every time he glanced Ryan’s way, the guy was smiling at him?

  He’d even mentioned it to Talia during one of their many phone conversations. “This new guy, Ryan, he’s awful friendly.”

  “That’s nice. Is he cute?”

  “Cute’s not the word for him. He’s big, butch, sandy-colored hair, and he has unusual eyes…kinda whiskey color…amber maybe.”

  “Oh, my.” Talia laughed softly. “So you haven’t really been paying him much attention, huh?”

  Tim laughed too, despite himself. “Touché, sister.”

  “He sounds like a catch, and it’s nice he’s friendly.”

  “Yeah, but I think he wants to be more than just friendly.”

  “What’s wrong with that?”

  “Well, we work together. It could get awkward if we, you know…fell out or somethin’.”

  “You’re projecting, Tim.”

  “Why does that sound dirty?”

  “Because you have a dirty mind, little bro?”

  They chuckled together and Tim was glad he could lighten her mood, even if it was with an off-color remark.

  “Anyway,” Talia continued, “if he’s as interested as you think he is, I say go for it. Don’t die from a lack of sex. I don’t want to put those words on your tombstone, although it would give those strolling through the cemetery a good laugh.”

  “Ha ha.” He sighed. “And, you know, it might all be in my head.”

  “Which one?”

  “Hey! And I’m the one with the dirty mind?”

  Talia giggled. “Just don’t let this one get away. You go flash that cute smile of yours at this fine new hire!”

  Ryan. He was becoming more and more aware of the tall cowboy’s presence, especially when they were working side by side with guests. If their fingers on the horse’s reins accidentally brushed together, Tim would jump from the electricity that Ryan’s skin on his produced. Then there’d been that reference to his ‘fine ass’. Was he still zeroing in on his butt? Sweat broke out on his forehead at the thought…and the thought wasn’t that unpleasant.

  Ryan was, after all, a good-looking dude with an easy-going nature that Tim found appealing, and he’d scoped out Ryan’s ass many times while they worked around the ranch…and it, too, was ‘fine’. More than fine. Twin denim-encased globes just waiting to be set free and nibbled on. Jesus… He was getting hard just thinking about it. And that was a problem. He really couldn’t be alone with the guy. If Ryan put a move on me, I’d have a hard time…ouch…controlling myself. God, you are some kinda perv. Not even three weeks since you buried your mom and dad and here you are mooning over some guy you hardly know.

  And there was the other problem. What did he really know about Ryan? He was a circuit rider, he’s from Montana, he’s good-looking and seems like a nice guy…that’s it. When Tim thought about it, Ryan held his cards pretty close to his chest. Even when he and the other guys were talking and joshing, like the other night when they’d watched another movie together, he’d listened to Stu talking about his foster home upbringing, listened to Tim’s story about his parents, but had never mentioned his family background at all. Not that it was anyone’s business really, but still…it was strange that he didn’t. Or was it? Was he reading too much into what Ryan didn’t say…projecting, like Talia had said? It had been a long time since he’d ever felt this kind of pressure. It was sweat-inducing, to say the very least.

  “Hey, Tim.” Ryan’s voice so close made him start. The hand on his shoulder felt good though.

  “Startle you? Sorry.” Ryan’s smile was anything but apologetic. He had a way of making it appear as if that smile was only for Tim.

  Oh, now you’re hallucinating. It’s just a smile…beautiful and sexy though it is.

  “No, no…I knew it was you. Just wool-gathering, as my grandma used to say.”

  “Thinking about your folks?” Ryan hadn’t taken his hand from Tim’s shoulder and now he squeezed it gently.

  “That, and some other stuff…you know.”

  “I was thinking too. Now that the guests are all going into town for a bar crawl in Sacramento, courtesy of Royce and Parker, why don’t you and I take the horses out for a ride after supper?”

  “It’ll be dark shortly.”

  “No, there’ll be a full moon. I checked. And the horses know that trail well, so I can’t foresee any problems. What d’you say?”

  “Okay, sounds good.” He grinned. “It’ll give me a chance to check out your horsemanship.”

  Ryan squeezed Tim’s shoulder again and leaned in close. “Like you haven’t been checking me out for the past two weeks.”

  Flustered by Ryan’s nearness and that faint woodsy scent of his, Tim stammered, “Th-think a lot of yourself, huh?”

  “Not really, but I’m not unaware, either.” There was that smile again. “Hey, if you don’t like me flirtin’ with you, I’ll stop.”

  “I thought it was Stu you were interested in.”

  “What gave you that idea?”

  “Well, I dunno. You said he was cute. But is it a good idea to be flirtin’ in the workplace?”

  “Good a place as any.” Ryan chuckled. “I’m not a barfly and I’m not into online stuff, so the pickin’s are slim.”

  Now Tim laughed. “Wow, that was the worst pickup line I’ve ever heard.”

  “Yeah, it was, and I didn’t mean it the way I guess it must’ve sounded. Okay, let me start over. You’re a very attractive man, and I’d like to get to know you better. How was that?”

  Tim grinned. “Mmm, passable, I guess. Let’s go get somethin’ to eat.”

  * * * *

  Ryan gazed at Tim across the table they were sharing in the employee diner. “So, are you okay with me wanting to get to know you better?”

  Tim sighed. “Only if I get to know you better, too. But there’s this thing about us working together. I don’t know if Parker will think it’s okay or not, and if we don’t get along at some point, there’s that, too.”

  Ryan ducked his head to hide his smile. “Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? I haven’t even asked you out on a date yet, and you’ve got us ‘not getting along’.”

  “Uh, yeah, you’re right. My sister said I was projecting.”

  “Your sister?” Ryan chuckled. “You mentioned me to her?”

  Tim’s cheeks flamed. “No, no—just projecting in general is what I mean…she meant. Shit.”

  Ryan grinned. “I think you t
alked about me to your sister.”

  “Wh—why would I do that?”

  “You tell me.”

  Ryan waited while Tim looked everywhere but at him. God, he is so fucking cute when he’s flustered, and I want him. He can protest all he wants, but he’s gonna be mine.

  “Okay,” Tim huffed. “I mentioned you to Talia. Said I thought you might be interested in m—in, uh, you know.”

  “And what did she say?”

  “She…she said, uh, that I should go for it.”

  “Woman’s got a brain.”

  Tim snorted. “You would think that, ’cause it suits your purpose.”

  Ryan gazed at him over the rim of his mug while he finished the last of his coffee. “You ready?”

  “For what?” Tim asked, sounding startled.

  “To get the horses set for our ride.”

  “Oh, oh, yeah, sure. Let’s go.”

  Ryan followed Tim out of the diner and had to jog to keep up with him while he hurried toward the stable. “What’s the rush? You can’t wait to be alone with me, or you want to get this over with quick as possible?”

  “You ask the darnedest questions.”

  “And the answer is?”

  “Neither one. I’m just looking forward to a moonlight ride on Rosie.”

  Tim unlocked the stable door and they went inside.

  “And with me.”

  “What?”

  “You’re looking forward to a moonlight ride on Rosie…with me.” He moved closer to Tim and gently traced the curve of his jaw with his fingers. “Am I right?”

  “I…” Tim pushed into Ryan’s touch. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  Ryan leaned in and brushed his lips over Tim’s. Ignoring Tim’s startled intake of breath, he ran the tip his tongue over Tim’s lower lip then pushed in when Tim opened for him. The hot glide of their tongues had Ryan instantly hard and he was more than thrilled when Tim’s erection pressed against his. Tim hooked an arm around Ryan’s neck and deepened their kiss, but only for a few moments before he abruptly pulled away from Ryan.

  “This shouldn’t be happening,” he snapped and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.