A Secret of the Heart (Amish Secrets--Book 3)

by J. E. B. Spredemann

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  Tonight was the night they’d agreed on. Lillianna expected to receive Thomas’ call. It would be the first since he’d gotten to the clinic. Even with all the activity in the house, Lillianna had become lonely. She desired to be there at the clinic with Thomas, offering encouragement. But he wouldn’t even be at the clinic had it not been for Congressman Stevenson’s generous offer. She must remember to thank him again.

  Ten more minutes passed by and Lillianna yawned. She glanced at the clock and noticed it was an hour past her typical bedtime. If Tommy didn’t call soon, she’d fall asleep.

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  Thomas sighed as Tristan, his chauffer and now friend, drove away. He was definitely charting new waters here in this foreign land. Two things he’d immediately noticed were the presence of poverty and the abundance of color. No plain white farm houses like in Pennsylvania. In truth, he was beginning to feel homesick – not a good sign when there were many months of treatment ahead.

  Well, here I go, for better or worse. He opened the door of the treatment center and was instantly greeted by attentive friendly smiles. He was pleasantly surprised when he entered the building. The atmosphere looked very much like an American hospital; it was professional, yet felt less sterile and emanated more of a homey feel. Immediately, his mind was set at ease and he strode to the front desk with confidence.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Lillianna quickly fixed the children’s breakfast and placed a plate on the bar for each of them. She walked to the wood-encased black chalkboard and read the list of duties she was to perform. Today would be a full day. She’d escort Calvin and Camille to their various activities – Camille to gymnastics and Calvin to karate. When their activities were completed, she was to make a grocery shopping trip, and then stop at the dry cleaners to pick up the Stevensons’ laundry.

  The congressman and his wife had a charity event to attend, so they most likely wouldn’t be returning until late this evening.

  Lillianna grinned when she heard the telephone ringing upstairs. Thomas. Her heart thrilled every time she heard the sound. It was like church bells ringing during Christmas time, chiming favorite hymns of the nativity of Christ. She immediately rushed upstairs to answer. It was times like this that she wished her room wasn’t the only one to have a phone. Of course, she could have just brought the cordless receiver downstairs but she had an awful habit of forgetting where she’d put things.

  “Thomas?” She was certain he heard the excitement in her voice.

  “Sorry to disappoint you. This is Clay Stevenson.”

  “Oh, sorry, Congressman. I thought it was someone else.” She cleared her throat.

  “Yes, I gathered that.” He chuckled. “My reason for calling is that we’d like you to have the children ready to go at five. Candace would like them to be present at the charity gala this evening. Calvin has a tuxedo in his closet and there is a red gown in Camille’s. They’ll know which shoes to wear.”

  She mentally counted the available hours. Would there be enough time? “Okay.”

  “It would be good if you would come along as well.”

  Lillianna’s jaw dropped. “Me?”

  “Don’t worry; Candace has plenty of party dresses in various sizes that would be suitable for the occasion. She keeps extras on hand just in case.”

  An Englisch dress? “But I–”

  “Excuse me, I’ve gotta go. See you there.” He clicked off abruptly.

  Lillianna stared at the receiver in her hand while a buzzing noise sounded from the other end of the line. I can’t wear an Englisch dress, can I? What would Dat think? She suddenly heard the kinner downstairs and remembered their appointments. If they were going to make it on time, they needed to leave promptly. She’d worry about the dinner at a later time.

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  Thomas held the phone to his ear as it rang and rang. Where’s Lil? He reluctantly hung up the phone, chiding himself for not calling last night when she’d expected him to. He’d have to try again this evening.

  He turned at a knock on the door. “Come in.”

  An administrator appeared. “How do you like your accommodations?”

  “Oh, they’re great. A lot better than what I’d envisioned.”

  The administrator laughed. “You’re not the first one to say that. A lot of patients are pleasantly surprised when they come here. I guess the media paints a pretty bad picture of the clinics here.”

  Thomas recalled what Tristan had said. “I’ve heard.”

  “Don’t get me wrong. Just like in the U.S., there are good and bad doctors. Some genuinely want to help people and others practice for less-than-desirable reasons. But the majority of natural clinics are here because they want the treatments to be easily accessible for North Americans. They’d practice in the States if they didn’t fear the powers-that-be confiscating their possessions and putting them in jail.”

  “Jail? Really?”

  “It’s a tricky problem, actually. If a doctor wants to practice natural medicine and use treatments that ‘the authorities’ say are ‘unapproved’ or ‘ineffective’, they are blacklisted as ‘quacks’. The AMA will strip them of their licenses and charge them for ‘practicing medicine without a license’.”

  “That hardly seems fair.” Thomas rubbed his forehead.

  “Maybe so, but that’s the way it is.”

  “You’d think there’d be more medical freedom in America and they’d let the people choose which treatments they’d like to pursue.”

  “You’d think so, huh? Nope. There have even been several people forced to undergo chemotherapy against their wishes.”

  “Oh man, I couldn’t imagine. I think I might have heard something about that, now that you mention it. Wasn’t there an Amish girl taken away from her parents?”

  “Yep. There have been many children forced against their own and their parents’ wishes. I’ve heard it called ‘gunpoint medicine’. Sad, but true. It’s kind of scary. It reminds me of the days of Hitler and how people were forced to do whatever the government commanded. He’s even quoted as saying, ‘If you tell a lie loud enough, long enough, and often enough, the people will believe it’ and ‘People are more likely to believe a big lie than a small one.’ I’m afraid our people have believed some really big lies.”

  “Wow. That is a scary thought.” Thomas shuddered.

  “Well, we can dwell on the negatives or we can do our best to stay positive. We need to get you well. That way, you can go share your experience and shed a little light in the darkness.”

  “I agree. Do you really think this is going to work?”

  “We’ve seen amazing results here. I’m not going to promise anything. God’s the only one who knows how many days each of us has. But the odds are in your favor if you follow the doctors’ advice.”

  Thomas nodded in understanding.

  “Your lab work is ready and the doctors are ready to discuss your treatment.”

  “Great. Let’s go kick this thing.”

  The administrator chuckled. “That’s what we like to hear.”

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  Honestly, Lillianna didn’t feel like attending the charity gala. Being in a room full of fancy Englisch strangers was not her cup of tea. Aside from being exhausted from the day’s activities, she worried about what she would wear. She preferred to wear her cape dress, but Clay had insisted she wear something from Candace’s closet.

  As she stood in the large closet, she gaped at all the fancy gowns. It seemed as though she kept dresses in several sizes; perhaps for guests? She searched for something in her own size, although she didn’t know which size that was. All her clothing had always been handmade. She pulled out a few dresses that looked like they might fit. One was red – she immediately put that one to the side knowing she’d never be comfortable in a dress that color. The blue and green gowns stared back at her. One of them, the green one, was strapless. It wouldn’t do at all. Conversely, the blue dress had a slit tha
t began at the thigh. That one wouldn’t do, either.

  Her eyes moved back to the red gown. It appeared to be the most modest of the three. It would have to do. What other choice did she have? She hurriedly tried the dress on. When she glanced into the mirror, her jaw went slack. She’d never bared her arms, or her figure, in public. Lillianna pulled at the dress to see if it would loosen any. What would Dat and Mamm think if they saw her in this? She immediately pushed the thought out of her mind. She didn’t have time to dwell on what ifs. Jones would be there any moment to pick them up.

  Lillianna quickly picked out a pair of shoes that would fit. Those weren’t any more comfortable than the dress. At that moment, she promised herself she would never complain about her practical plain clothes again. They may not be the fanciest, but at least they were comfortable. After removing her prayer kapp, she brushed her hair and pinned it up neatly in a bun.

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  Lillianna sat at the table with the kinner on each side of her. They watched with delight as the congressman and his wife graced the dance floor. They make a nice couple. Lillianna smiled. What would it be like to dance with Thomas? She briefly wondered if she’d ever have the opportunity. Please let it be so, Gott. Please let Thomas get well.

  Prior to the dance floor opening, they’d had two auctions, one silent and one live. The event helped to put her mind at ease some. She’d attended many auctions growing up and that familiarity produced a calm in her soul. But that calm was replaced with sadness when she realized that she no longer had a home. Dat had said to never return.

  She’d been dumbfounded when she heard some of the items being auctioned off. A ride in an F-16 fighter jet, a ride on the track with a famous race car driver, and a three-day cruise were just a few of the top-dollar items. Clay Stevenson bid the highest on the last item, to the delight of his wife. Apparently, Candace had always wanted to go on a cruise. Lillianna had no idea why being stuck on a ship for three days would be appealing to anyone. Nevertheless, she was happy for Candace.

  When the Stevenson adults returned to the table, Candace asked Lillianna if she’d ever danced. Of course, her answer was no. Candace leaned over to Clay and whispered in his ear. Clay scooted his chair out and walked over to Lillianna.

  “May I have this dance?” He held out his hand.

  Lillianna felt her temperature rise. “Oh no, I–”

  “I insist.” He smiled.

  “Dance, dance,” the kinner chanted.

  She looked to Candace, who nodded.

  “Well…okay,” she acquiesced.

  Clay led her out onto the center of the dance floor. “Never danced before?”

  She shook her head.

  “Okay, here’s what you do.” He grasped her left hand. She was certain it felt clammy. “This hand goes on my shoulder, here.” He took her other hand in his and raised it mid-air. “And this hand, like so.”

  Lillianna gulped when she felt his other hand wrap around her waist. Other than Thomas, she’d never been this close to any man. This was awkward. She looked back to the table at Candace and the children. They smiled and waved.

  “Now, take a deep breath and relax.”

  She did as he instructed.

  “Good. Now just move your feet to the music and follow me.”

  Clay and Lillianna moved across the dance floor several times as the music played. She never realized how intimate dancing was. It was definitely something that should only be performed between married couples, she decided.

  “You look very nice in that dress.” Clay interrupted her thoughts. “Red is a good color for you. You should wear it often.”

  She felt heat rising to her cheeks again. “Where I come from, it is verboten.”

  “I’m sure your boyfriend would really like it.” His eyes swept over her figure once again.

  “I – uh we should probably stop now.” She became flustered.

  He smiled. “Just as soon as the song is over. Relax.”

  Lillianna was happy when the song finally ended. She did appreciate Clay teaching her how to dance, but it seemed…wrong somehow. Besides that, her feet were aching to get out of the shoes she wore. One thing she knew for sure: she would sleep gut this night.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  “Lilly, Clay and I would like to invite you to join us and the children for church,” Candace said, over her breakfast plate.

  Lillianna glanced up at the clock. Eight-thirty. “What time does it begin?”

  “They have several services. We’ve already missed the first one. The second one begins at nine-thirty, and the third starts at eleven.”

  “Jah, I’d like to go. Do you think it is okay to wear my cape dress?” She hoped Candace would say yes.

  “Oh, yeah. Just wear whatever you’d like. Some people dress up in nice clothes. Others wear shorts and tank tops. Everyone is welcome.”

  Shorts and tank tops? Lillianna had always been taught to wear her for gut dress to meeting, the nicest she had. She briefly wondered if they would also allow someone in a two-piece bathing suit.

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  Lillianna stared up at the words on the large screen. She found keeping up with the tempo of the songs difficult. She was used to singing ancient hymns at a rate of ten seconds per syllable. This was quite a contrast.

  She covertly glanced around at the other attendees. There were several young people talking, one girl was applying lip gloss, and several young men seemed to be checking out the young women in the short skirts. And many of the people stared at her in her Amish clothing. She felt like staring right back at them, but she wouldn’t. She’d been taught how to behave properly during meeting. She couldn’t imagine Amish young folks behaving like these worldly Englischers.

  The sermon had been entertaining and she’d been surprised there was only one. She’d become a little confused, though, when the pastor read the ‘Bible’ from his notes. What he read sounded nothing like what her Bible said. Instead, it sounded as though he were reading a novel or a motivational book of some sort.

  When the service ended two hours earlier than her normal Amish meeting would have, they shook hands and Candace introduced her to some of her church friends. They all joined together in a large room where refreshments were served. Lillianna found the entire experience interesting, but she felt so out of place. Was this the way all Englisch church meetings went? She’d have to ask Candace about that later.

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  Thomas had been reluctant, but eventually gave in to the invitations of his patient-friends and, at their encouragement, he attended their Sunday meeting. He hadn’t attended any type of religious service since he’d left the Amish over three years ago.

  He admitted that the reason he attended was for purely selfish reasons. If Lillianna agreed to marry him, he was going to have to have some type of religious influence in his life. He could stand attending a meeting once a week if Lillianna was by his side. He would do it for her.

  He was one of about thirty who attended. One of the doctors brought his guitar along while the others sang. Well, everyone except him. He sat through most of the meeting with his arms crossed. It was all a joke, as far as he was concerned. He didn’t buy any of this religious stuff.

  Thirty minutes later, he was glad the service was over. He longed to see Lillianna, to hold her in his arms. But for now, a phone call would have to do.

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  “Do you know anything about evolution?” Lillianna asked Candace as they walked side by side in the garden. The children played just up ahead of them on a swing set.

  “Some…what do you want to know about it?”

  “Do you believe in it?”

  “Me?” Candace shook her head. “No. I never have. I always thought the idea that all life came from a single cell was preposterous. There’s too much complexity in nature to not believe in a Creator.”

  “How would a person be able to show someone that evolution isn’t true?” Lillianna spoke her thoughts.

&
nbsp; “That’s a tough one. Does this person claim to be an Atheist?”

  “Jah. He says he doesn’t believe in God.”

  “I usually find that there’s a deeper reason that people refuse to believe in God. A lot of times there’s been a tragedy in their lives, something they can’t make sense of, and they blame God for it. As a consequence, they turn away from God as a sort of punishment. They somehow think they’re getting back at God by refusing to believe in Him, when they know in their hearts that He’s real.” Candace pulled Camille’s swing back and released it. “Either that, or they want to live a life of sin and don’t want to have to account for the way they live.”

  “I think that’s what happened to Thomas, my beau. He says he doesn’t believe in God, but I think maybe he blames God for his folks’ death.”

  “He’ll need to work through his grief, I think. Losing a parent can be very traumatic for a child,” Candace sympathized. “You can help him work through that.”

  Lillianna nodded. “I hope so.”

  “You know, if I recall correctly, I watched some videos online that someone recommended to me on Facebook. They were really good. I think the man’s name was Kent Hovind. He’s a Creation Scientist. You’re welcome to use that computer in your room to look him up.”

  “Oh, I’ve never used a computer. I wouldn’t know how.”

  “It’s not difficult. I can show you if you’d like.”

  “I would appreciate that.” Lillianna smiled. Finally, she’d have some answers for Tommy.