A SEAL’s Resolve

by Cora Seton

  Hope stared at her. “None of it is your fault—”

  “Yes, it is!” Raina began to cry, and Curtis’s heart sank. The way Hope was watching her friend told him she was beginning to figure it out, too.

  “What did you do?” Hope asked finally, her voice flat and raw.

  “I just… I just told him… to ask you,” Raina sobbed. “I said… I said I’d get him tickets to the Damned if You Do tour.”

  “You… bribed him?” Hope laughed, but it didn’t come out right, and Curtis’s heart ached for her.

  “I just knew that if you spent time together, he’d like you. You never gave anyone a chance—”

  “Raina!”

  “Prom wouldn’t have been any fun without you. You’re what makes things fun,” Raina cried. “I didn’t want to go without you. You’re my friend, Hope.”

  “Am I?” Hope was as white as if Raina had slapped her. “Do you bribe people to date your friends?”

  “It wasn’t like that—”

  “What was it like?”

  “You weren’t happy. You know you weren’t. All you did was work and hang out with me, and you wanted more. You wanted a boyfriend. You wanted to go to that dance!” Raina’s voice rose, her face flushing. “I made it happen. That’s all I did—”

  “But it didn’t happen. I didn’t go to the prom, and Liam’s dead!”

  “I know!” Raina wailed. “I know, I know, I know!” She faced off with Hope, breathing hard, tears streaming. “What I don’t know is why you’re still friends with me, because I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve Ben. I don’t deserve anyone!”

  Tell her she’s wrong, Curtis urged Hope in his head, but he could see Raina’s revelation had struck her to the core. Was she wondering why Raina needed to bribe a boy to take her to the prom? Was she questioning every relationship she’d had since?

  “I can’t… I can’t do this.” Hope turned on her heel and headed off the road into the woods.

  “Hope!” Raina struggled to her feet, limped a few paces after her, gave a cry, spun around and ran clumsily in the other direction.

  Not good, Curtis thought. They were splitting up, spreading out in conditions that were still deadly. Worse than that, they were destroying a friendship that was crucial to them both.

  “Hope! Raina!” He didn’t know how to get them back there—

  Blake, who’d watched the entire thing like a tennis match, flipped open the lid of the picnic basket and tossed it lightly into the snow. “Oh, hell,” he cried loudly. “I dropped the kittens—and they’re getting away!”

  Raina stopped instantly. Stood still. Turned, and came rushing back. “Feldspar!” she shrieked. “Minna, Louise—where’s Reggie?”

  The panic in Raina’s voice stopped Hope in her tracks, too, and in spite of her fury, she half turned to look back the way she’d come.

  Raina was floundering in the snow this way and that. So was Blake. Curtis was backing away.

  “They’re sinking in the snow,” he shouted. “They could be anywhere! I don’t want to step on one!”

  She huffed out a sigh. Fine. She’d help with the kittens, and then she’d… what? What exactly was her plan? Her throat ached with Raina’s betrayal and the knowledge that Liam hadn’t ever wanted to go to prom with her. If Raina hadn’t meddled, would he be alive today?

  Or was it her fault for being so boring he’d taken the first chance to go with someone else?

  She’d thought she’d moved on from these old wounds, but somehow, with Curtis making her rethink her plans to put off marriage, they’d all bubbled up as fresh and new as they’d been back in high school.

  “I can’t find Edgar!” Raina cried.

  Edgar? Hope picked up her pace, then broke into a run. She found pandemonium where she’d left the others.

  “Damn it,” Blake said, bending down and dropping one of the kittens into the snow. “The thing bit me.”

  “Don’t let it get away! What’s happening? It’s like they’ve gone crazy!” Raina scooped up the one Blake dropped and handed it to Curtis, who swore a minute later and set it down in the snow again. Every time Raina corralled a kitten, the men were managing to lose one of the others.

  It was as if—

  “There’s Edgar!” Blake pointed, and Hope lunged for the kitten, losing her train of thought. Once she had Edgar safely in her arms, she held out a hand to Blake. “Give them to me, before you lose them again. They won’t bite me.”

  She snagged the overturned picnic basket out of the snow, set the three kittens into it, took Feldspar from Curtis and turned to find Raina hugging Reggie under her chin.

  “I’m sorry,” Raina said again. “Hope, I am so sorry. About everything. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”

  Hope closed her eyes, defeat overtaking her. She knew that. Throughout her life when she felt at odds with everyone else, Raina had always been there. It was her own damn fault she was so bad at love.

  “Why?” she asked. “Why do you want to be friends with someone as messed up as me?”

  “Because I can depend on you,” Raina said. “You don’t make the kind of mistakes I do.”

  “You don’t need me to keep you from making mistakes.”

  “Don’t I?” Raina gave a sad laugh. “It’s like Blake said. Everyone knows I need a babysitter. I always do the wrong thing, and then I have to pretend to be cute and sweet and happy so everyone forgives me again.”

  Hope’s breath caught in her throat. “Do you really feel like that?”

  “Sometimes.”

  “This is all very after-school-special,” Blake broke in, “but don’t you have a wedding to get to?”

  Raina’s eyes widened. She looked up at the sky as if it could tell her the time and let her shoulders drop. “I’m not going to make it, am I?”

  Hope didn’t think she’d ever seen Raina give up before. It was like watching an eclipse block out the sun. She made a decision. “We can’t stay together,” she said. “Curtis, this isn’t working. You have to take Raina. You’ll be faster on your own.”

  “I’m not leaving anyone behind,” Curtis began, but Hope shook her head.

  “Yes, you are. You and Raina go on. Get to the highway. Get to Bozeman. Send someone back for us. We’ll be fine.”

  Curtis took a deep breath. Hope was right; it was the only way. He was going to have to trust that it would work out. After Blake’s trick with the basket of kittens, he was beginning to think he’d underestimated the man.

  “You two stick with Hope. Get her to the road. I’ll send someone back to pick you up.”

  “Fine,” Blake growled. “But we’d better reach that highway soon.”

  “Not fine,” Byron said, lowering the video camera he’d been filming with all this time. “You’re still on the show,” he told Curtis. “That means I have to stay with you. I need to document what’s happening. You don’t want to lose, do you?”

  Curtis wanted to tell him to hell with the show, but he knew Byron was right, and in the end he nodded, sick to his stomach at the thought of leaving Hope alone with Blake. “We’re going to move fast,” he warned Byron. “As soon as we hit the highway, we’ll find someone to send back to you. I promise,” he told Hope.

  “Of course. Don’t worrry about us,” she said again.

  “You don’t let her out of your sight. You hear me?” he said to Blake, who gave him a lazy salute. “Daisy? Stay with Hope,” Curtis commanded.

  Daisy whined, but she did what she was told, and Hope was right: they made much faster time once he and Byron had forged on ahead. Byron went first and set a trail on his skis. Curtis followed, pulling Raina. Two hours later, he could have cursed himself when they reached the highway. He couldn’t believe they’d been this close.

  “We should have stayed together,” he said.

  “Look!” Byron surged forward and waved his hands above his head as a grader approached, a large piece of machinery that made short work of the snow pi
led on the road.

  “You folks in trouble?” a man called out of the vehicle when he spotted them.

  “You bet we are,” Raina said, hopping up, cursing and hopping in a circle, cradling her ankle. “I’m late to my wedding!”

  “Wedding? Where is it?”

  “Bozeman. Can you get me there?”

  “That’s where I’m headed,” the man said. “Jump in. All of you.”

  Curtis breathed a sigh of relief. In a vehicle like that, Raina would make her wedding easily.

  She turned to face him. Put her hands on her hips. “Curtis Lloyd, I’m not getting married without my maid of honor. You go back and get Hope.”

  Curtis grinned, feeling lighter than he had in days. “Yes, ma’am,” he said and helped her climb into the truck. Byron got up after her.

  “There’s more of you? How far back are the others?” the grader driver asked, looking back up the pass from where they’d come.

  “About an hour, maybe less,” Curtis told him. “They’re on foot, not skis.”

  “Let me make a call.”

  “I think I kind of like Montana,” Blake mused. “Maybe I’ll get myself a hunting cabin here one of these days.”

  “Really?” Hope was cold. Hungry. Tired. And still somewhat stunned.

  She’d thought she’d known the worst of her history, and she didn’t know what to think of the fact that Raina had practically forced Liam to ask her to the prom. She expected that to hurt more than it did. The thing was, now that she was over her shock—it didn’t.

  It wasn’t anyone’s fault that Liam hadn’t really liked her, just like it wasn’t anyone’s fault that given the chance to go with Brynn, he’d taken it. Brynn’s drinking and driving was the real tragedy, and that had nothing to do with her.

  The deaths of Liam and his friends had devastated her—and had affected the rest of her class, too. It had brought them all closer together in a way, which made senior year different for her than the previous years had been. She and her classmates had stuck together in a way they never had before, far more solicitous of each other. Almost like a family.

  She’d participated in more school activities and had been asked to the senior prom. She’d gone with a boy from her chemistry class. Her mom had gotten those photos, and while it had been sad to think of Liam, and by then she’d already been carrying the kind of planner that had become an obsession over the years, she’d had a good time.

  She’d had other relationships in the intervening years. Relationships Raina had nothing to do with, which meant men could find her attractive, even if she’d always held them at arm’s length. It was her choice to focus more and more on her career. Her choice to create a life plan that put off love for years.

  Hope realized her real mistake was that she’d never come to grips with the lesson junior prom night should have taught her: she couldn’t control anything. Couldn’t predict when something would go wrong. Couldn’t know if someone she cared about would live or die.

  She’d tried to protect her heart from ever being hurt again by pulling back from other people and focusing on work instead of relationships.

  That had to stop.

  Once again that magical night in Yellowstone came back to her. The stars twinkling overhead. The wolves howling. Hadn’t she promised herself then she’d be brave?

  Things didn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes people didn’t show up, or they let you down, or even died.

  That didn’t mean she should give up on love—and men—forever.

  Surely there was a way to be with Curtis and have her dream, too.

  She tried to picture Base Camp in the summer. The tiny houses, gardens… bison. Spending time there with Curtis wouldn’t be a hardship. He’d sounded interested in Yellowstone, too. The two places weren’t that far apart—when it wasn’t snowing.

  They could travel back and forth. Visit each other. Go on dates.

  Would that really be so bad?

  “What’s that?” Blake asked.

  Hope woke up from her reverie and peered ahead at the source of the noise that had started as a low hum and was increasing to a low roar. “I don’t know.”

  But suddenly she did know. She’d heard that sound before.

  “It’s a snowplow!”

  The large vehicle revved around a curve in the road and stopped several yards away. The passenger side door opened, and a man climbed down.

  “Curtis!” Hope ran toward him as fast as she could, and he caught her in an embrace.

  “Hop in. We’ve got a wedding to get to. Come on, Daisy,” he added. “Jump up, girl.”

  Daisy did eagerly, giving Curtis a face wash with her tongue.

  “Where’s Raina?”

  Curtis filled her in as she wrestled her skis off and watched him stow them away. She climbed into the back seat of the extended cab, Blake taking a seat beside her. “She’s already on her way to Bozeman with a plow operator. He called Mike here to come pick me up and help reach you. Now he’s going to drive us to Bozeman, too.”

  “Thank you so much,” Hope cried.

  Mike waved off her gratitude. “Happy to help. Quite a storm we’ve had.”

  “Isn’t that the truth.”

  An hour and a half later, Hope stumbled into the vestry of the small church in the city where Raina’s family, her groom, his family and all their guests were already gathered. The closer they’d gotten to Bozeman, the less snow there’d been piled up on the highway. By the time they reached the church where Raina’s wedding was to be held, the sun was coming out.

  Its light transformed the landscape, and Hope’s heart expanded. They were going to make it. Raina would marry the love of her life, and she’d be there to see it.

  They were going to have to talk more later, and she hoped she could help Raina let go of the pain that had made her feel less than everyone else. Raina deserved to be happy—and to know she had what it took to do whatever she wanted.

  “Hope! I’m so glad to see you,” Raina’s mother, Diana, said when she climbed out of the snowplow truck. “Come on inside—”

  “Is that my maid of honor?” Raina cried, coming to the door.

  “Raina, get back in there and get ready,” her mother said but watched with a patient smile as Raina ran to give Hope a hug.

  “I was afraid you wouldn’t make it.”

  “I wouldn’t miss your wedding for the world.”

  “Come on. You’ll need to change quickly. The ceremony is supposed to start in five minutes,” Diana said.

  “Five minutes?” Hope rustled through her things to find her planner as they walked indoors, into a small room at the back of the church set aside for the bridal party to prepare. Surely there were a million things to be done.

  “Hope, take a breath. It’s all okay.”

  “But, I—” Hope spotted the picnic basket of kittens and broke off.

  “Mom got everything done,” Raina said. “And a vet is on the way to pick up the kittens and check them out. She’ll bring them back after the wedding. As for you, all you have to do is walk down the aisle ahead of me.”

  “Okay. Oh my god.” Hope stared at her in horror. “What about my dress? My makeup? What am I going to—”

  “I’ve got your dress,” Raina said triumphantly. She pointed to the hook on the back of the door where Hope’s bridesmaid gown hung. “I packed it with my wedding dress when we had to leave the rest of our things behind and walk. You were too busy flirting with Curtis to notice.”

  “You are so smart!” Hope took the dress and began to peel off her clothes. “We’ve got to hurry. I promised Ben I’d get Raina to the altar on time,” she told Diana.

  “You got me to my wedding through the blizzard of the century,” Raina said. “Ben can wait for a few more minutes. Come here, let’s make you presentable.”

  Hope admired her calmness, and she realized Raina looked different. More… confident. Maybe she was already on her way to getting out from under the bagg
age of her past.

  Raina’s mother worked miracles, taming Hope’s wild hair into an updo that looked as sleek as if she’d come straight from a salon. Raina worked on her makeup while Hope stepped into her dress. With earrings and a matching necklace, her outfit was complete.

  “You clean up nice,” Raina said.

  “I haven’t even had a shower. Do I smell?”

  Raina’s mother squirted her with perfume. “Not anymore. You’re perfect, just like my daughter.”

  “Are you ready for this?” Hope asked Raina. “It’s all happening so fast.”

  “I’m ready. Where’s Curtis?”

  “I don’t know. He was right behind me.”

  “I’m sure the men are seated already,” Raina’s mother said. “Come now, girls. Let’s get in place.”

  And there wasn’t time to think of anything else before Hope was walking down the aisle.

  Chapter Ten

  ‡

  Curtis met up with Raina’s fiancé as the man was making his way to the front of the church to take his place. When Curtis introduced himself, Ben said, “You’re the one who got my bride here safely. I owe you a lot.”

  Curtis shook his proffered hand. “You don’t owe me anything, but there’s a favor you could do for me.”

  “Oh yeah? Does it have to do with Hope?” When he took in Curtis’s surprised expression, Ben grinned. “Raina told me what she planned to do before she lost cell phone service.”

  “She told you she planned to crash her car in front of Base Camp?”

  Ben shrugged. “That she planned to throw you and Hope together and keep you together until you realized you were right for each other.” His smile grew wider as he watched Curtis take that in. “People underestimate Raina. I don’t. That’s why I’m with her. What?” he asked when Curtis guffawed.

  “Guess I don’t have to ask for that favor after all. I was going to say you need to take Raina seriously. To listen to her. She’s a smart lady.”