A FILTHY Engagement: a filthy line novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  Everything in between, both Dex and I never needed to know. We were going to use each other and I was completely fine with that.

  Well… not use in the sense that Dex was used to.

  That was going to totally suck for him.

  I could and have done without a certain kind of attention but Dex was screwed.

  And there was no cheating allowed.

  Am I really writing rules for a fake engagement to a rock star?

  I hung my head and exhaled so hard, two invoices danced from the desk to the floor.

  “Of course,” I said.

  I dropped to my knees and climbed under the desk.

  They were invoices that needed to be paid and filed. Last thing I needed was a lecture from Gregor on how important invoices were. The fucking guy watched some accounting videos online one night when he decided to skip his bitchy mixed drinks that were more sugar than booze and then started to run around the cafe like he was an accountant.

  I grabbed one invoice and reached for the other.

  As my hand gripped the flimsy yellow paper, I heard a whistle.

  That cliché, catcalling whistle.

  “Now that’s a sight I can get used to, sweetie.”

  I jumped back and picked up my head way too early.

  I slammed the top of my head so hard, I bit down on my tongue and tasted blood.

  I fell back to the floor and my eyes were full of tears.

  “Oh, shit, Candice…”

  I blinked fast and watched as Dex…

  Dex?

  He rushed into the office and dropped to one knee in front of me.

  For a quick second the curtain of asshole rock star dropped and I saw… him.

  Beyond the crazy good looks and crazy sexy eyes, Dex looked worried about me.

  But believe me, it was just for a second.

  He held up two fingers. “Can you see these?”

  “Yes,” I said.

  “I can make them disappear and make you see real stars, sweetie.”

  I swatted at his hand and reached for the desk.

  As I stood up, the top of my head throbbed in pain.

  My tongue hurt too.

  “Fuck,” I whispered.

  I slammed my right hand on the desk, leaving the crumbled invoices where they belonged.

  “Hey, you might have a concussion,” Dex said.

  I turned my head and looked at him. “I wish. Then I could forget about you.”

  “Doubt a concussion would do that.”

  “Then I’ll hit my head harder next time.”

  “You can definitely get back on your knees with your ass up in the air again,” Dex said. “Did I catch the lacy lines of dark red panties too?”

  Well, my face matched the color of my panties.

  “What in the hell are you doing back here?” I asked. “This is for employees only.”

  “I asked where you were and Betty told me,” Dex said.

  “And she just let you back here?”

  “She didn’t stop me.”

  “Get out of here,” I said.

  “You sure about that, sweetie?” Dex asked.

  I rubbed my cheek. “Get out.”

  “What’s wrong with your cheek?”

  “Nothing. I bit my tongue.”

  “Hope you’re not poisonous.”

  I sighed. “Really…”

  “Let me see,” Dex said.

  His left hand touched my chin. Shivers crawled through my body like need and regret slamming head first together.

  “I’m not showing you my tongue,” I said.

  “I’ll show you mine first,” he said.

  Dex stuck his tongue out and lifted his left eyebrow.

  He curled the tip of his tongue and made a very slow and sensual motion.

  My face refused to go back to its normal tone.

  “Your turn,” Dex said after putting his tongue away.

  I rolled my eyes and stuck out my tongue.

  “Damn,” Dex said. “It’s bleeding for sure.”

  “I can taste it. I know.”

  “Want me to kiss it?”

  “Kiss my tongue?” I asked, with my tongue hanging out of my mouth.

  What the hell am I really doing right now?

  I moved away from Dex to collect my thoughts and myself.

  “Get out of here, Dex,” I said. “Go back out front. I can get fired for having you back here.”

  “Promise me you’ll come talk to me,” he said.

  I turned my head. “Yeah. Fine. I promise.”

  Dex winked and slipped out of the office.

  The taste of my own blood wasn’t pleasant. Nor was the fact that I had given Dex all of my ass to look at, plus what color and kind of panties I was wearing.

  If I was really the manager, I would have fired Betty right then and there.

  * * *

  It was the same group of guys and Dex.

  I had all the names this time though.

  Toby, Barry, and Franklin.

  And nobody looked impressed to be there.

  And everyone was looking right at me.

  Like I was supposed to do or say something.

  Which I was.

  They were waiting to see if I was going to go along with the pretend engagement thing.

  I opened my mouth and closed it.

  Then I opened it again.

  “She’s getting there,” Dex said. “She hit her head a few minutes ago. Scary. Thought she was going to pass out in my arms. But I have that effect on women.”

  “Go fuck yourself, Dex,” I said to him.

  “Christ,” Toby said. “Why did we even pretend this was a good idea?”

  “I have a list of names we can call,” Franklin said. “Check them out, go through an interview process, it’ll be fine.”

  Dex side eyed me.

  Then he smirked.

  Nothing I said or did seemed to bother him.

  I crouched down and put my mouth near his ear.

  “I think I just screwed you,” I whispered. “And I don’t feel all that dirty.”

  My phone buzzed in my pocket.

  I took three steps from the table and saw the text from Trent.

  Prove it. I can’t stop thinking about it.

  I held my phone out and opened the camera. I bit my lip and took a selfie of me with Dex behind me.

  I sent it to Trent.

  But Trent wasn’t going to stop.

  I turned and looked at Dex again.

  Franklin showed him a picture on his phone.

  “Her tits are fake,” Dex said.

  “So what?” Toby asked.

  “Hey… I like a good set of fake tits as much as any guy… but if I’m marrying those fake tits, I need to make sure they have a good grip.”

  “It’s fake,” Toby growled.

  Jealousy stirred in me hearing Dex talk about another woman…

  “Shit,” I whispered.

  Trent replied to my picture.

  I’ll win you back. Or I’ll find out if you’re lying. Either way, I’ll see you soon.

  I jumped toward the table.

  “I’ll do it,” I said.

  All four looked at me.

  Everyone but Dex looked shocked.

  “What’s that?” Toby asked.

  “I’ll do it,” I said. “I’ll play this game. Sure. Why not? Just as long as I get my say in some things.”

  “Knew you’d come around, sweetie,” Dex said.

  He touched my hip and I slapped his hand away.

  “We’ll have to work on that,” he said.

  “You’re sure about this?” Franklin asked me.

  I nodded.

  Toby slowly stood up.

  And he had one question for me.

  “Just how hard did you hit your head?”

  7

  Dex

  The table was quiet.

  Really fucking quiet.

  Toby stared at Candice.

&n
bsp; I turned sideways in my chair and leaned against the wall.

  I had won.

  Like I knew I would.

  And it was going to be perfect.

  Nash had already thrown a fucking diamond ring on Olivia’s finger. The world went crazy over that announcement.

  And now it was my turn.

  Except Candice and I had the perfect love story.

  Hidden. Secret. Fun. Flirty.

  No choice but to come forward because of how intrusive the world was to us.

  And that intrusion would lead to our eventual breakup.

  She’d be taken care of during and after the breakup though.

  I put my left hand out and said, “Come here, sweetie. Sit on my lap. Let’s give these lawyers a show.”

  “Why would I sit on your lap?” Candice asked me. “So we could talk about the first thing that pops up?”

  Toby sucked in a breath.

  “Are you sure about this, Dex?” Franklin asked. “There are other options here.”

  “I’m sorry, am I invisible?” Candice asked Franklin. “You want him to fake this with some plastic bottle tits and nose cunt?”

  Barry started to cough.

  “Fuck me,” I said as I marveled at Candice. “Look at this side of you… I’m getting fucking stiff just listening. Keep going. I bet by the time you make Franklin cry I’ll come.”

  “Why don’t we really think this through?” Toby asked.

  “What’s there to think about?” Candice asked. “It’s win-win. Dex gets what he wants. The cafe will be busy. I’m sure you’ll offer me some kind of compensation, right? And I want free tickets to any upcoming shows. Unlimited tickets. And passes.”

  “To sell on the side?” Barry asked.

  “Fuck you, bush face,” Candice said.

  I made a fist with my right hand and bit it. “She’s killing me here, guys. I can feel my dick swelling… my heartbeat in my cock beating her name…”

  Barry and Franklin looked at Toby.

  “This…” Toby shook his head. “Fuck it.”

  “Fuck it,” I said.

  “Fuck it,” Candice said.

  I grabbed her apron and pulled.

  She fell onto my lap and let out a gasping breath as she put her hands to my shoulders.

  She straddled me three seconds longer than I thought she would.

  And there was no way in hell she didn’t feel that all that big talk about my dick wasn’t true.

  She didn’t jump back off of me either.

  She slid back.

  Like she wanted to feel it.

  And that’s when the tables turned for a second.

  Like she was in control of me…

  Candice stepped away from the table, her face flushed but not red like her panties.

  “Fuck, Dex,” Toby said.

  “What?” I asked, coming back to reality.

  “You’re… uh…” Toby tried to hide his mouth. “You’re pitching a tent.”

  I looked down and shrugged. “Yeah? So?”

  Toby rubbed his forehead and turned toward Candice again.

  Before he could open his mouth and ask her to reconsider, my surprise showed up.

  The rest of the band walked into the cafe.

  I heard a squeal and saw Betty behind the counter, eyes wide like she was going to pass out.

  “What the hell is this?” Toby asked.

  “Just my best friends coming to congratulate me,” I said.

  I stood up and Candice stared daggers at me. “What if I said no?”

  I reached out and touched her chin. “You were never going to say no to me, sweetie.”

  * * *

  “Does this mean you’re finally going to get laid?” Jay asked as he slapped my back.

  “Wonder if they have a pineapple here, Jay,” I said.

  He shook his head. “That’s old, Dex. That shit has to stop.”

  “What now?” Toby asked.

  “You didn’t hear the story about our guy here banging a pineapple?” Sab asked.

  “What?” Candice asked.

  I touched her lower back. “I’ll tell you later, sweetie. What do you say we bail out of here and go celebrate together?”

  Candice wasn’t starstruck at all.

  She casually touched my chest and pushed herself away. “Sorry, Dex, I have better things to do.”

  “This is going to be a disaster,” Barry said.

  “Do you at least shave down there?” Reed asked Barry. “I mean, who wants to crawl that kind of shrubbery for a dick?”

  “A hungry chick,” Sab said.

  “He probably gives women rug burn,” Reed said.

  “Depends on how long he can last,” Jay said. “It really comes down to math.”

  “Like an equation,” Jay said.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Time fucking times the length of the curlies between his legs, minus the speed of the thrusts… carry the one… add a five…”

  “I’m sorry about this, Barry,” Toby said. “They’re not going to stop either.”

  “Which means we should leave,” Franklin said.

  “I’ll be in touch in a little bit,” Toby said. “They’re headed to the studio right now.”

  “I guess I have to work too, sweetie,” I said to Candice.

  “How will I survive without you?” she asked.

  “Oh, fuck, you and Liv are going to love each other,” Nash said.

  “I’m good with that,” Reed said. “Let the two fiancées have it out together on the tour bus…”

  I grabbed Reed’s shirt and pulled him toward me. “Let’s get something clear, Reed. You ever talk about my girl like that again, I’ll break your jaw.”

  Reed curled his lip and shoved himself away from me. “Fuck off. It’s all fake.”

  “Hey,” Toby said. “Can’t say that out loud.” He looked around. “Okay?”

  I put my hand out for Candice to take. “Okay?” I whispered to her.

  She put her hand into mine.

  I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed it.

  “See you soon,” I said. “I’ll get in touch with all the details. And from there… it’s engagement bliss.”

  “How the fuck is there no whiskey here right now?” Nash asked.

  “Excuse me?” Reed asked. “Who the fuck do you think I am?”

  Reed pulled out a flask and put it on the table.

  “Get us some cups, sweetie?” I asked Candice.

  “I’ve got them!” a voice yelled.

  Betty damn near dove over the counter with a stack of coffee mugs.

  “Drinking whiskey from a coffee mug,” Toby said.

  “What else would you put in a coffee mug?” Reed asked.

  “Come on, let’s do this,” Nash said. “Then we have to get to the studio before Toby’s panties get all twisted.”

  “What color are they?” I asked, looking toward Candice. Her face turned red. “Are they dark red?”

  “Why the hell would you ask Toby about his panties?” Jay asked.

  “No reason,” I said.

  “I’m not wearing panties,” Toby said.

  “I’m not wearing anything,” I said. “Want to see?”

  “Here he goes again,” Sab said. “Always has to show off his dick.”

  “What?” Candice asked.

  “Oh, yeah, sweetie, that’s a thing I do,” I said. “Don’t worry though… it’s only your lips I want there. Unless we’re on the road. Rockstar code. Got it?”

  “Fuck that,” Candice said. “You want some other whore wearing your ring to save your ass… go find her.”

  “She’s horrible,” Sab said.

  “She’s the best,” I said.

  Betty put the coffee mugs on the table and looked around at all of us.

  I leaned down toward her. “Don’t worry, Betty, we’re going to sign everything you want us to. Okay?”

  “Wow,” she whispered.

  Reed opened the flask and poured
the five of us a drink.

  Candice had to pull Betty away.

  “Here’s to Dex,” Nash said. “May his engagement be long enough to ease his pain and short enough so his balls fill up like water balloons.”

  “Cheers,” Sab said.

  “Fucking good stuff,” Reed said.

  “Good luck,” Jay said.

  I was the last to clank my mug to theirs.

  I threw the cup back and drank the fire tasting whiskey.

  As I smacked my lips together I looked back and saw Candice staring at me.

  We could fake the engagement thing.

  That was easy.

  But if she thought I wasn’t going to make my move on her…

  She was in for the greatest surprise of her life.

  * * *

  We ran through the song twice in the studio before laying down the tracks. That meant playing the song all together and then going back and picking apart the tracks one by one to figure out what sounded good and what didn’t.

  That first recording though, we let Toby use to ease the minds of the powers at SLECK. They were forever worried about one of us getting into serious trouble or killed. But they failed to realize that attention was good. After what they saw with Nash and Olivia, how much worse could it get?

  Hold my beer…

  I sat on the edge of a leather chair and stared at my feet.

  I shut my eyes and listened to the song.

  When Jay kicked into his solo, I reached for the soundboard and killed the song.

  “What the fuck?” Jay asked. “That’s my solo.”

  “It’s not good,” I said.

  “Fuck you, it’s good.”

  “Listen to me, man,” I said. “We climb up the bridge and then it busts into the solo. That’s solid. But let’s do something different.”

  “Like what?” Jay asked.

  I stood up and grabbed my beer and walked into the room where our guitars were.

  I sat down on my amp and played a few riffs.

  The bridge was so good. A beautiful climbing riff, along with the bass and drums, knowing that something was going to happen. What Jay played was good, but it didn’t fit.

  “Hey, Nash,” I yelled. “Run it back and kill Jay’s guitar.”

  Jay stood with his arms folded.

  The song played through the speakers.

  I picked up with the bridge and when the solo came, I hit a note and slowly bent it, letting the guitar scream for a few seconds before sliding halfway down the neck and playing what Jay did an octave lower.