“So it’s the norm?” Candice asked. “Kind of like going home to your pool and finding strippers naked in it?”
“They weren’t naked,” I said.
“Oh, fuck, Dex,” Toby said.
“What?” I asked. “I had to keep it real. Celia was sniffing hard.”
“She was,” Candice said. “She was looking for a hole in the story big time.”
“Which is why Bethany and Ana were there,” I said to Candice.
“Ah, B Girl was there?” Jay asked with a smile. “How’s her mother?”
“I didn’t get to ask,” I said. “Candice chased her away.”
“I did not,” Candice said. “It was just…”
“Oh, she’s just too cute,” Reed said. “A couple of topless chicks have her this scattered?”
“Fuck off, Reed,” I said.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Toby said. “This is actually working. It’s helping all of us right now. So just let it play out. It’ll be part of the story when this ends. The life ends the engagement. Right?”
I looked at Candice.
She swallowed hard. “Yeah. Right.”
I didn’t like or understand the feeling that sank inside me when she said that. Admitting that this was going to end.
“So what else do you need from me?” I asked Toby and the lawyers.
“Just wanted to go over the notes,” Barry said. “Review the case. The files.”
“I don’t have time for that,” I said.
“Dex,” Toby said.
“That’s your job,” I said to Toby. “I’ve got my fiancée. That’s all I need in my life.”
I grabbed Candice’s hand and walked toward the door.
I knew how it looked.
Like I was really falling for her or some dumb shit.
But… you know… whatever.
* * *
I poured myself a drink and sat close to Candice in the back of the SUV. It seemed this part of the life had grown on her. Which was a big part of it. Forever driving around in SUV’s with the windows blacked out so nobody knew who it was. Usually the band cruised together. And usually we drank everything in sight and trashed the hell out of the backseat to give Toby a bigger headache.
I missed the tour bus. I missed the road. And I missed Bill.
The best damn driver we ever had.
And I knew Bill missed the road too. It was the one thing that kept him sane.
We took good care of Bill, at least financially, but fucking demons didn’t care about money. In fact, demons liked to spend money. All of it.
“Have a drink, sweetie,” I said to Candice.
She shook her head.
She was still pissed at me for doing what I did to Gregor on her behalf.
I put my hand to hers and squeezed.
She didn’t make a move or a sound.
That left me with no choice.
I put the whiskey glass to my lips and threw it back.
There was probably one thing better tasting than that whiskey…
I put the glass down and slid from the seat to the floor.
It always seemed like I was on one knee in front of Candice. How fucking fitting for our current situation, huh?
She looked down at me and gasped. “Dex… what in the hell are you doing?”
I put my hands to her legs and inched up… her black pants… tight against her body… showing all those crazy curves of hers…
Fucking shit, I’d buy all the coffee in that cafe to hang around and stare at her.
Candice touched my wrists. “What are you doing?”
“Breaking you open,” I said.
“Dex…”
“You can be pissed at me, sweetie,” I whispered. “As much as you want. That asshole walks all over you. And nobody walks all over you. I won’t ever allow it. You’re my girl, Candice. Someone walks all over you and I step on their face. Got it?”
She swallowed hard. “Thanks. But I can handle it myself.”
“Except you don’t,” I said. “Are you punishing yourself for something?”
Candice scowled. “Is that part of the fake engagement?”
I moved my hands up to her hips and curled my fingers around the edges of her pants. I tugged once and Candice gasped again.
She didn’t lift her ass off the seat, but that was okay.
I just moved forward. Toward her. My right hand releasing its hold on her pants and sliding her shirt up just enough to expose bare skin. That’s where my lips sought their comfort for the moment.
When I kissed her lower belly, Candice melted into the seat and slid forward.
“Dex… the windows…”
“Are all fucking tinted,” I growled. “Nobody can see you. Or hear you, sweetie.”
“This is fucking crazy. You’re supposed to be playing a show or something, right?”
“Then you better relax and enjoy the ride,” I said.
“I can’t just come while under pressure,” she said.
I grinned at her. “Let’s find out if that’s true.”
Candice shut her eyes and bit her lip.
My right hand moved her shirt up a little bit more. I kissed her belly button for fun and inched down again. I bit at her pants pulling and shaking my head like a wild dog with a piece of meat.
“You’re going to tell me everything, sweetie,” I said without looking up at her. “You’re going to trust me.”
“Why…” Candice let out a deep breath. “Why does it matter?”
My right hand moved down to the top of her pants and I gently pulled. I took her dark purple panties too and saw the smooth skin that led where my tongue craved to dance.
As I moved my left hand around to her back, she lifted herself off the seat.
So you are a little filthy like me, huh, sweetie?
I looked up at her and the way she stared down at me… fuck me…
I pulled and thirsted for her more than I thirsted for whiskey.
Candice moved her right hand. First, she touched her own stomach. Her hand twitching and nervous. Then she took her hand off her stomach and reached for me. My hair. Fingers still shaking. But wanting to grab my hair.
I growled in the depths of my throat.
I came forward again and flicked my tongue against her soft, warm mound.
Her grip tightened around my hair.
Then people started banging on every window of the SUV.
* * *
I reached for the button and put the window down an inch to see Reed’s face staring at me. I looked to the back window and saw Jay and Sab with their faces against the glass. And at the other window there was Nash.
“What are you doing?” Reed asked.
Candice kicked her feet at me, hitting me in the stomach and the balls.
She turned and tried to curl up in a ball of embarrassment.
“I’m going to fucking kill you,” I said to Reed.
“In the back of the SUV?” Reed asked, shaking his head. “You know we can see in there, right?”
“What?” Candice yelled.
The other door opened and Nash gave a wave. “Hey, Dex, this isn’t the one with the total blacked out windows.”
“What the hell do I care?” I asked.
Candice looked at me, eyes wide.
“Where are we?” she asked Nash.
“Our jam room,” Nash said. “Liv is here. She’s dying to meet you.”
“Get me out of here,” she said.
Nash offered his hand and helped her out of the SUV.
I opened the door where Reed was and I tried to hit him with it.
I hurried around the back to find Jay and Sab clapping.
“Put it away,” I said. “I didn’t even get to kiss her. You fucking assholes.”
Candice stood outside our rehearsal pad, hugging herself.
I crept up on her and grinned as I stood next to her.
“Don’t say a thing,” she said.
“When the moment
hits you, right?”
“The only thing hitting you will be my fist.”
“Live a little, sweetie,” I said. “I don’t know what happened in your past but don’t let it ruin today and tomorrow.”
She looked at me. “Am I really hearing this from the guy who needs to fake an engagement to stay out of jail?”
“At least I live life to the fullest.”
“Fuck you, Dex.”
I touched her arm. “And you want to. You want to live life to the fullest. And you want me to fuck you. Don’t lie to yourself, sweetie. You want my tongue dancing between your legs. You want to scream my name as you come. You want to watch me pull away from your sweet fucking body and watch me lick my lips so I get every last taste of you.”
Candice knocked my arm away. “I need to go home and shower. I’m not going anywhere like this.”
“Soaking wet?”
“I was at work. Remember? Some people have real jobs, Dex. Not this party life that you have.”
I nodded. “Right. I’ll have someone take you home then.”
“You mean take me to my car,” she said. “Because I can drive myself home.”
“And then someone will pick you up. Bring you to the gig. Right?”
She curled her lip. “Fine.”
“I love you, my pretty fiancée,” I teased.
“It was a flower shop, Dex.”
“What? A flower shop?”
“I owned my own flower shop,” she said. “That probably sounds weird, I know. A flower shop. Where the fuck does that come from, right? But that’s what it was. I found a corner shop and I insisted on making it work. Of all businesses to run. It was just…”
Candice laughed and turned her head.
Ah, fuck, sweetie, are you going to cry?
I reached for her hand and she lifted that hand to her face.
She cleared her throat. “It just didn’t work out, Dex. That’s life. I lost everything and had to move into Cali’s basement. Her biggest fear was always her little sister becoming a burden on her. And that fear came true. So look at me. And I keep telling myself I’m figuring it out. That’s why I took the first job I could find. That’s why I feel grateful and guilty that I have the job. Okay?”
Candice walked away from me.
Nash came out of the rehearsal space with Liv.
His arm around her, pulling her close, kissing her, trying to bite her, making her laugh. She grabbed his shirt and they started to playfully push and wrestle only to end up kissing over and over.
I curled my lip and went after Candice one more time.
I didn’t grab for her arm or try to turn her around.
Instead, I touched her hips.
My hands fit so perfectly to the curves of her body.
Goddammit, Dex, this isn’t…
“Fucking failure hurts, sweetie,” I whispered. “But it doesn’t fucking define you. I’ve failed a lot in my life. My first band got kicked off stage for sucking so much. Even when Filthy Line started playing gigs, it was bad. I’ve had songs go bust. I’ve had relationships go bad…”
Candice snorted. “Relationships? Did you run out of one dollar bills?”
I grinned. “I don’t think you’re a failure, sweetie. At least not when you’re in my arms. Or my tongue is tasting your skin.”
Candice turned her head and looked up at me. It was the most honest look I’d ever seen her give me. “Does everything you say have to go back to sex?”
She wanted honesty… so I gave it to her.
“Always, sweetie.”
14
Candice
“Don’t worry, I’m not like any of them.”
I looked at Olivia and smiled. “That’s good.”
“So… engaged… huh?”
I showed her my hand. “Yup.”
Olivia showed me her hand. With a real diamond ring. “Me too.”
“Nash, right?”
“Nash… yeah.” She rolled her eyes. “I had to write stories to make him not seem like such a total asshole.”
“Those must have been good stories,” I said. “Some real fiction.”
“You have no idea.”
“I can’t believe I got sucked into this, Olivia,” I said.
“First off, call me Liv,” she said. “Second, you wanted to get sucked into this. It’s always a choice. And the life just comes with it. I can tell you something but you have to swear to keep your mouth shut.”
“Okay,” I said.
Liv grinned at me.
We sat next to each other in the same SUV I had been in with Dex. In fact, Liv was sitting where I had been sitting. When Dex decided to…
Why did the band have to ruin that? Dex was going to go down on me. A rock star. A real rock star.
“What you’re doing is working,” Liv said. “With Dex.”
“Oh?”
“I don’t think any of them will ever be calm. It’s something in their blood. That wildness they need like a drug. But when you’re around or involved in the conversation, it’s like he’s almost in a trance.”
“Playing his part,” I said. “There’s a lot riding on this thing.”
“If you say so. How much is he paying you?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
“Which bears the question, why are you doing this for free?”
I looked forward.
Liv laughed. “It’s okay, Candice. Even if it’s an escape from reality, that’s cool too. I won’t lie to anyone, I used Nash to get a book deal.”
“You did?”
“That’s right. I played the game and I got what I wanted. I didn’t exactly think I’d fall for him, so that was just extra. Maybe at the end of the day we’re all trying to get something out of each other and life.”
“And what about us? This. What are you trying to get out of me, Liv?”
“Someone to talk to,” she said. “Not many people can understand what it’s like. I heard about the strippers in the pool.”
“And the hot tub,” I said.
“Right. Just wait for the show tonight.”
“Why?”
“It seems women get allergic to their bras when Filthy Line is playing,” Liv said.
“Great. More boobs. Just what I need to see.”
“As long as Dex wants to plant his lips on yours, who cares?”
I laughed. “That’s not happening.”
He just touched me there… and touched me somewhere else… and then wanted to kiss…
“Good for you then,” Liv said. “But I hope you’re around. These guys are something special.”
“Hey, can I ask you something now?”
“Sure.”
“When that lady was interviewing Dex, she brought up the sixth member of the band… and Dex lost his mind.”
Liv touched my hand. “Everyone has a past, Candice. Even the baddest of rock stars. Some things aren’t my place to talk about. And some things I don’t even know about. But you have a phone. I’m sure you’re smart enough to look it up.”
“Right. Of course.” My brain scrambled to change the subject and kill time. “Uh… so the wedding. That sounds amazing.”
“Well, it’s just an engagement for now,” Liv said. “I’m in no rush. Neither is Nash.”
“Right. And you trust him?”
“Do I have a reason not to?”
“I didn’t mean it like that… but…”
“You can’t stop picturing the strippers. Or knowing that Dex has been in some wild positions.”
“And I shouldn’t even care,” I said. “But it just…”
“Makes you a little jealous,” Liv said. “In some messed up way, it’s just part of their life. There was a time when some of those strippers and others helped the band. If you really get into the history of Filthy Line you’ll see it. To them it’s not just fake boobs and glitter. In a way, it’s their version of church. Their family.”
“So you’re going to suggest I look pa
st the mostly naked women and find their hearts?”
“That’s up to you,” Liv said. “And as far as trust goes, you’re either all in or out all-together. There’s no halfway or portion of it. So, yeah, your heart is on the line each and every day you’re with him. But when he hugs you or touches you and if you feel that crazy fire inside your body, you know it’s real.”
The SUV came to a stop behind the cafe.
“Thanks for the ride,” I said.
“Hope to see you tonight,” Liv said. “And thanks for pretending to be engaged to Dex. They were going to ask me to spin some stories and Nash got pissed.”
“It’ll all be over soon enough, right?”
“If you say so,” Liv said with a wink.
I got out of the SUV and hurried to my car.
I sat behind the wheel and felt my heart racing.
Not pounding out of fear. Not steady out of clear thinking.
But racing.
Like the wild kind of racing.
Fucking Dex left me breathless even when he wasn’t near me.
* * *
After a long, hot shower, I wiped the mirror with my hand and looked down at my towel. Already feeling stupid for what I was going to do, I opened the towel and moved to my tip toes so I could get a good look at my chest.
They’re there… right?
There was nothing wrong with my chest.
I guess…
I mean compared to Bethany’s chest, which was filled with enough plastic to consider her chest a recycling facility, I didn’t have much to offer.
But at least what I had was real.
Except Dex didn’t do real.
I wasn’t even real to him.
The ring on my finger wasn’t real.
The words we said to that woman interviewing us…
I shut my eyes.
It’s not supposed to be real. Ever.
Kissing and enjoying him all over me was real in the sense of him touching and tasting. Even my heart racing, pounding, the way I reacted. Sure, that was real. But anything else lingering… nope. Not real. And it never could be.
I dropped the towel and hurried to get dressed.
When I left the bathroom and went to my part of the basement, my sister was sitting on the edge of the bed.
A FILTHY Engagement: a filthy line novel Page 12