Holding her phone in her hand.
The mom look tore through me.
I almost had the urge to lie to her about where I was going tonight.
“What?” I asked.
“I read the story,” she said.
“Really? You’re looking me up now?”
“Yeah, I am,” Cali said. “My little sister went from quiet barista to a rock star’s fiancée in one night. What do you think that does to someone like me?”
“Drives you nuts,” I said. “Because it doesn’t fit your plan.”
“That’s right,” she said.
“What do you want me to say, Cali?” I showed her my left hand. “This isn’t a diamond ring. I know that. Guess what? Maybe I don’t want a diamond ring. I’m not you.”
“Tell me this has nothing to do with Trent.”
“What?”
Cali stood up. “I should have been there for you more. That was a nasty thing you two went through. It wasn’t just the relationship.”
“What are you getting at?”
“Did you do this to spite him?” Cali asked.
“Yeah. I’m faking an engagement to Dex to get back at Trent,” I said.
That’s the exact truth, Cali.
“Come on, Candice,” Cali said. “I didn’t say that. I know you’d never do that. You’re looking for a win in life. Looking for adventure. I get that. You’ve always been like that. But sometimes…”
“What?”
“Sometimes you don’t know how to let go.”
“Yeah?”
“Candice. Our mother is gone. She left a long time ago. Okay? She took off. She never tried to get in touch with us. Ever. Not once. And it just so happened one day you casually bumped into her. I know she took your number. What did she do? She promised to call. She never called. How many years ago was that? You won’t change your number because of that. You tied Trent so hard to your business that you lost both. And you can’t let it go. So now… this…” She showed me her phone. “I mean, this is… I don’t even know what to say.”
“That’s the thing, Cali. You don’t have to say anything. This is what I want. And what if it doesn’t work out? Huh? Are you going to be ashamed of me then? Because I’m not like you, right? Because if I have a failed engagement compared to your perfect life… then what?”
Cali slipped her phone into her back pocket and came toward me. She touched my face. “I took care of you when nobody else did. So maybe I feel closer to you than you think I need to be. This is crazy. Whatever you’re doing right now is crazy.”
“It’s my-”
“Keep the crazy out of my house.”
With that said, Cali left the basement.
And that was Cali… showing that quick glimmer of maybe offering her heart only to rip it away and leave me feeling worthless.
Then again, was Cali wrong?
I looked at the ring again.
The lizard and the skull.
It probably had zero meaning. Just some cliché thing you’d expect when it came to a rock star.
But that’s good.
I needed the reminder of cliché.
I needed the reminder of the fakeness.
I needed to remind myself that this was going to end sooner or later.
* * *
“This is where they had their first album release show,” Toby yelled into my ear. “Sold the fucker out then. And now. One fucking post on social media and we have the fucking police outside.”
“Police?” I asked.
I instantly thought about Dex.
Toby laughed. “Not enough room for everyone. The streets are flooded with Filthy Line fans. I’m going to get my ass chewed out for this one.”
“Dex isn’t in trouble?” I yelled to Toby.
“He’s always in trouble,” Toby said.
Someone touched his shoulder and Toby walked away.
I stood next to the stage, not very hidden because the venue was so small.
It was a club.
A rock club.
The stage was low to the ground. The speakers that hung overhead looked ready to fall at any second. The place was dirty and loud. It just oozed the sense and smell of rock music.
People were crammed together, the crowd gently swaying left to right as everyone wanted to get closer to the stage.
The scene made my heart race.
I felt someone touch my hand.
It was Liv.
“Hey!” she yelled. “Ready?”
“I guess so,” I called out. “I’m almost nervous here.”
“It’s a crazy feeling,” Liv said. “You’ll get-”
The lights went out and Liv had to stop talking because the crowd went crazy.
The screams went through my ears and down my body.
It was painful but I didn’t cover my ears.
A flashlight flickered near me and I looked to the light shining on the floor.
That’s when I saw the band.
Filthy Line.
And it made me feel jumpy.
Like I was a fan at a concert.
Sab was first, twirling a drumstick.
Then came Jay and Reed, with their guitar and bass.
Nash walked up to Liv and kissed her on the cheek.
And then I saw Dex.
His guitar around his back.
I felt him looking at me even though I couldn’t see his eyes.
The band went on stage but Dex came to me.
His hand slid along my face to the back of my neck and he pulled me toward him. I felt myself caught up in the wild moment and I jumped to my toes so I could kiss him.
We made out for a few seconds and the crowd got louder as they realized most of the band was on stage.
Dex pulled away and moved his guitar around to the front of his body.
I watched him do something to the guitar and then he played a note and the sound boomed through the speakers.
It was so heavy and rumbling, my chest vibrated.
I touched myself, over my heart.
The rest of the band started to play.
I looked out at the crowd of people.
Everyone was jumping and screaming for Filthy Line.
“Anyone feel like partying?” Nash’s voice came through the speakers.
That made the crowd even louder.
Sab played a little drum solo.
Jay hit a loud, screaming note.
Reed and Dex just kept jamming together.
Nash leaned forward to the crowd and smiled.
It made me smile.
He knew how to do it. He knew how to be the real rock star front man.
He put his mouth back to the microphone. “Yeah, good. We feel like fucking partying too. Where are my Line Whores at?”
There was a screeching cry from the crowd.
I had an understanding of what the words Line Whores meant.
They were groupies.
Women who went to Filthy Line concerts in the hopes of ending up back stage, legs open, fulfilling some kind of wild fantasy.
Dex looked at me but he didn’t smile. He didn’t wink. He just played his guitar.
Taunting me. Teasing me. Tempting me.
I lifted my left hand and pointed to the ring that was our engagement ring.
Then I lowered all my fingers except the middle one.
The band kicked into a song and I lowered my hand and started to bob my head.
They were good.
Of course they were good.
They were fucking rock stars.
* * *
It was an hour of loud music, louder screams, and it all came together with them playing their new song.
Destiny.
Another catchy song that had Nash reaching into the crowd, leaving women fighting each other to touch his hand. I wondered if that bothered Liv, but she was probably used to it. After all she told me as long as Nash came home to her and fucked her, what did it matter?
Jay an
d Reed on the other hand were a little different.
They picked out who they wanted and security guards helped those women over the gate and took them backstage. They hurried past me, cheering and jumping up and down.
All so they could fool around with a rock star.
Liv slid her hand into my mine and pulled me away from the stage.
“We’ll go back first,” Liv yelled to me.
The back of the club had black painted stone walls. The main room was filled with concert posters. There was a bar set up in the back and as long as we were part of the band, the drinks were free. There was a hallway that led to a set of metal steps. Along that hallway and up the steps there were rooms. When I asked Liv what the rooms were for, she grinned and told me to use my imagination.
I already knew.
A place for the band to party. For management to party. Of course there was room for storage. Sound equipment and lights. But more than anything, the rooms were for booze, drugs, and Line Whores.
I helped myself to a drink and when the music stopped, I waited for the band.
They all came to the back, sweaty, smiling, but without Dex.
As Jay passed me by, I touched his greasy shoulder. “Jay. Where’s Dex?”
Jay looked at me. “Not sure. I have someone waiting for me. Important meeting.”
He slipped away and took off his guitar, just dropping it to the floor.
Reed walked by with a wink and he kissed the air.
Nash went for Liv and she put her hand out.
“Go shower,” she said. “You smell like sweat and cheap women.”
“Jealous,” Nash said.
“Where’s Dex?” I asked Nash.
He looked at me. “With Sab.”
“Where?”
Nash nodded up.
Part of me felt out of place being backstage with Dex. What Liv and Nash had was real.
I was just part of a fake narrative.
There for pictures and to make everyone believe Dex and I were engaged.
But he was upstairs…
I started to walk.
I grabbed the metal railing and hurried up the metal stairs.
The second floor was almost like a loft. Definitely cleaner and cozier than the dirty first floor of the club.
There was a gathering of people.
The only person I recognized was Toby. He had a drink in his hand and was laughing with some guy in a suit.
I moved toward the doors and shook my head.
This was impossible, right?
No fucking way Dex would be this stupid.
I opened the first two doors and there was nothing.
There was one more door on this side of the upstairs.
I heard a giggling sound as my hand turned the knob.
I wished to everything I believed in it was going to be Sab in there. With some fucking woman. Ready to live out a dream for one night.
I opened the door and some blonde turned her head and looked right at me.
“Occupied,” she said.
My eyes moved to the right.
And up popped Dex… a grin on his face that threatened to destroy my heart.
15
Dex
I set her up.
For the fuck of it.
Sab had his little slice of life to take for the night.
I had no desire for anything or anyone but Candice.
But of course I wanted to see her reaction.
I was autographing the Line Whore’s chest when Candice opened the door.
Her bra was still on so no big deal, right?
When I stood up and looked at Candice, I grinned.
“Hey, sweetie,” I said.
Candice just stood there.
“You can have your turn next,” the Line Whore said.
In my mind I pictured Candice yelling. Freaking out a little. Maybe crying. Maybe she’d attack me. Or just leave the club and find herself a ride home.
I did not expect…
“Cunt.”
That was the one word that came out of her mouth.
And before the Line Whore could say a word, Candice charged after her.
She took a handful of the Line Whore’s hair and threw her to the floor.
Candice kicked the Line Whore a few times before I grabbed her and pulled her away.
“Holy shit,” I said.
Candice turned and swung at me.
She clipped my lip and I tasted blood right away.
The Line Whore got back to her feet and Candice attacked again.
More handfuls of hair as she drove the Line Whore toward the door. She slammed the Line Whore off the door.
“Oops, I forgot to open it first,” Candice said.
I smiled.
I’m falling in love with her right now…
Candice opened the door and tossed the Line Whore out.
“He’s fucking engaged, you stupid cunt,” Candice yelled. “Go find another dick to ride for a night.”
She slammed the door and turned and looked at me.
“I was just giving her an autograph, sweetie,” I said.
“Fuck you, Dex,” Candice yelled. “You want to play this game? For real? You just disappear from the stage and leave me backstage alone? After all those women were screaming for you? Maybe I’m not like Liv, okay? I’m not used to this. I’m…”
“You missed me, huh?” I asked.
“This isn’t going to work anymore. This was never going to work.”
I moved closer to Candice.
I reached for the door and turned the lock.
“What in the hell are you doing?” she asked me.
“I’m going to finish what I started from before.”
* * *
I pulled her against me and she punched me in the chest.
I stepped back.
She looked at the door.
Then at me.
“Signing an autograph?”
“That’s it, sweetie,” I said. “Can’t help where they ask me to sign.”
“Fucking asshole.”
“Look at how wild you are right now,” I said. “Just shows what this really means to you.”
“Means to me?”
Candice shook her head. Then she laughed.
She stepped toward me and grabbed my shirt.
I was covered in sweat from the show. I smelled like a filthy drunk.
But I knew it was everything Candice wanted and needed.
I wanted to test her. To push her. To let her know it was okay to feel things again and to take a chance again in life.
Even if I was destined to be another sense of failure in her book.
But for the moment…
“Backstage with a rock star,” she whispered.
“Welcome to the madness, fiancée,” I said.
I grabbed her ass and picked her up.
We stared at each other.
“I didn’t fuck her,” I whispered. “Not even close. Want to know a secret?”
“What?” Candice asked with an annoyance that only made me harder.
“I didn’t even want to fuck her.”
“Now that’s a lie, Dex.”
I thought about it. “Okay… fine. A little white lie.”
“Put me down right now,” Candice said.
I turned and walked her to the leather couch that was made for only one thing.
And it wasn’t sitting.
I put her down but didn’t pull away.
“I swear,” I whispered with my lips near hers.
“Swear what?”
“I thought about fucking her,” I said. “Because I think about fucking everyone. But I didn’t fuck her. Because of you.”
“Because of our story,” she said.
I looked Candice dead in the eyes.
I shook my head.
Okay, that’s enough fucking talking.
As I moved down to the couch, I lifted her shirt like I did in the back of the SUV. My
tongue touched the same spots as before. My fingers opened the stubborn button on her jeans. And my hands went for the kill, taking both her jeans and panties down in one swoop. I didn’t have time to play any pillow games.
Plus, there weren’t any pillows on the couch.
Candice put her right hand to her forehead and her left hand grabbed the top of the couch.
“This is fucking crazy,” she whispered.
“Yes it is, sweetie,” I said.
I dipped my lips down to hers, feeling the sweet warmth pouring from her even sweeter body.
Candice shivered and put her knees together.
I grinned at the sight of her slit.
Worried about what the rock star was going to do to her. Worried I was going to ruin her from ever feeling pleasure from another man for the rest of her life.
And that was all part of the risk.
And the fun.
I grabbed the back of her left ankle and pulled her shoe off and tossed it to the floor. That allowed me to slide her jeans and panties down to her ankles and sneak her left foot out.
Which allowed her to open her legs for me.
I placed my hands on the couch and kissed just above her left knee.
And I made a line of kisses. Some sweet. Some soft. Some with tongue. Some with teeth. The full array of what my mouth wanted to do to her.
Candice slowly parted her legs, her right foot on the floor, sliding away from the couch.
I dipped to her inner thigh and used the tip of my tongue to draw one last line up to her pussy. My lips met hers for a second time, but this time I was staying for a little while. The touch of honey to my whiskey stained lips was more than any drug they could give me to keep me awake all night.
My hands made their move, clamping to her hips.
My mind raced with all the fun I could have, but there was an urge that overtook all the fun.
I need her to come. Right now. I need her to lose herself for me. This has to go beyond some fucking ring on her finger.
I wasn’t sure where the words were coming from.
It sure as fuck wasn’t from my cock.
My cock wanted to play.
And I was pretty sure my heart wanted something else.
The tip of my tongue found Candice’s clit and her hips lifted off the couch.
“Oh, Dex,” she groaned.
I pulled at her hips, bringing her tighter to my mouth. My mouth latching onto her body, my tongue racing left to right.
A FILTHY Engagement: a filthy line novel Page 13