Eat the Cookie...Buy the Shoes: Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up

by Joyce Meyer

  The next day he heard a report that Jezebel had made a vow to kill him the same way he had killed her prophets. Elijah’s reaction was that of an exhausted, weary man. He ran into the desert to hide, and he isolated himself from his servants and friends because he was discouraged and depressed. He sat alone in the desert and asked God to take his life (see 1 Kings 19:1–4). Exhaustion can change our personality and make us do things and behave in ways that would not be normal for us. Elijah was normally not afraid of anything. He was very bold. Bold enough to confront and slay 450 of Jezebel’s prophets, but now we see him only one day later behaving quite differently. I don’t know about you, but I can relate to having days like the one Elijah was having. I have been so tired that exhaustion altered my personality; I have been filled with self-pity and negative thoughts, and I have wanted to isolate myself and have everyone just leave me alone.

  Elijah obviously needed help, so God sent an angel to help him, who told him to arise and eat. The angel provided a cake and a bottle of water and told him to eat, drink, and lie down and go to sleep (see 1 Kings 19:5–6). The angel repeated the process again and after that Elijah had strength to go for forty days. Wow! God’s answer to the great prophet’s exhaustion, weariness, and desperation was “Take a break and eat a cake.” It was equivalent to “Eat a cookie and buy the shoes.” I think this is amazing and thrilling because it lets us know that the answer to some of the most difficult times in life is to get some rest, eat something we enjoy, do something we enjoy, take a nap, and keep repeating the process until we feel we can go again.

  The multi-billion-dollar stress business might go broke if we all took God’s advice on how to cure stress. Perhaps people don’t need so many doctor visits, prescriptions, counselors, and treatment centers. Perhaps they just need a vacation for their soul.

  I realize that people have serious problems and devastating losses in their lives. I also know that the simple things I am talking about are not the ultimate answer for every situation, but they are the cure for much of the stress that people experience today. Everyone gets weary unless they know how to prevent it, or how to recover.

  The Rest of God

  In Matthew 11:28–29, Jesus speaks of rest two times. One is the rest of salvation and the other is the rest we need for daily life. The invitation to come to Him and find rest (v. 28) is in reference to receiving salvation through faith in Jesus Christ. When we do that, we find an immediate type of rest that is one we have not experienced previously. We have the rest of knowing that our sins are forgiven and that we are loved and accepted by God. We also have the rest of no longer being afraid of death, because we know that when we die, we will simply pass from this earthly realm into the heavenly realm where we will live eternally in God’s Presence.

  This first rest is wonderful, but we also need a second rest and Jesus tells us how to have that when He says, “Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me… and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls” (v. 29). A yoke is a device that is used to couple two things together, such as the pairing of oxen that were used to pull a plow for farming. It is used metaphorically in the Bible as a reference to submission to authority. It also refers to balancing out a load. 1 If we stay yoked (very close) to Jesus and submit to His authority He will help us balance out our load in life and we will learn how He responds to every situation.

  To live a balanced Christian life where the load is not too heavy for us, we must be willing to take up Jesus’ yoke in the small things of each day as well as in the big things of life. Some workers find it hard to labor with their fellow workers; some husbands or wives find it hard to endure their in-laws; some employees find it difficult to deal with their boss; students become weary of their relationship with teachers and other students. All of these are things we must bear in life and, of course, we get tired of them. We wish that we could get away from them, or find a way to get them away from us. We may feel cast down, discouraged, depressed, and have no peace, but we must learn that Jesus wants us to be yoked to Him and realize that these things are things we must learn to bear with a good attitude because they are God’s portion appointed to us.

  God puts different people together and wants us to learn how to love one another and get along peacefully. God may put a careful, tidy person with a careless, messy person. He may put a strong person with a weak one, a healthy one with a sick one, or a clever person with one who is not so clever. He puts hot-tempered, impatient people together with sweet-tempered and patient people. One of them becomes yoked to the other and God uses them to balance one another out. This gives us the opportunity to learn the nature of Christ, and if we struggle against it, we will have no rest. But, if we say to God, “I am willing to take my place; I am willing to obey; I am willing to bloom where I am planted,” then we will find rest and joy.

  It took me many years to learn that it was useless to try to change something that God had assigned to me as a yoke to bear in life. I had to submit to His will and let Him teach me to be peaceful in the situation. In his book Balanced Christian Life, Watchmen Nee said, “The highest life we can live is to welcome all that we may naturally dislike. Let me tell you that you will be filled with the deepest rest within if you will joyfully accept the yoke which God gives you.” 2

  God’s rest has been available since the seventh day of creation, when God Himself rested. Many things are available today that people fail to enjoy because they are either ignorant of them or because they fail to believe and obey.

  God’s rest has been available since the seventh day of creation, when God Himself rested.

  Spiritual Rest

  Although we need physical rest, the type of rest spoken of in Matthew 11 is spiritual rest. It is a rest of the spirit and soul (mind, will, emotions). It is a rest in work, not from work. When we rest physically, we need to stop working. But this type of rest is different. When Jesus came to Mary and Martha’s, he did not chastise Martha for working, but for worrying. He told her that she was anxious and troubled about many things, but that right at that moment, only one thing was needful and that was for her to enjoy His visit. She was concerned about how things looked and was upset that Mary wasn’t helping her (see Luke 10:38–41). Martha needed to give herself permission to lighten up! All the things she worried about were not things worth worrying about. The house being perfect wasn’t that important, and what Mary was doing was none of Martha’s business. She needed to relax and enjoy the miracle of the moment. Jesus had come to her house, and even though she probably needed to make some preparations, she did not need to lose her peace.

  Rest is not inactivity, but the harmonious working together of all the faculties and affection—of will, heart, imagination, and conscience. For example, if a person makes a choice to do something that their conscience does not agree with, they will not enjoy the rest of God. Someone just asked me to do something as a favor to them that I did not have peace about doing. If I please my friend by doing what they want me to do then I will not have rest because in my heart I don’t really feel it is a right thing for me to do. My actions, heart, mind, and conscience need to work together in harmony. Martha needed to learn to rest while she worked. Martha worked, but in her imagination and thoughts she was angry with Mary because she was not also working and that prevented Martha from being at rest internally while she worked outwardly.

  If the emotions, heart, will, or mind is set against the thing being done, there will be no rest. Martha was working, but she resented it so she could not rest. When we have a job to do we should do it willingly, not with resentment. It is vital for us to use our free will and choose the will of God when a thing needs to be done. We say in our heart, “I will do this as a service to God and I will do it with a good attitude.”

  This is exactly what Jesus did in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knew a job had to be done and that God wanted Him to do it. He prayed about it and even though He was aware that it was going to include
unimaginable suffering, He set His will in agreement with His Father’s will. He endured the pain and suffering for the joy of the prize that was set before Him. Once He made His decision God sent angels to minister Him. If our attitude is proper we will receive divine help enabling us to do what we need to do.

  Change Your Approach to Life

  Life will not always change, so we must be willing to change. Ask yourself how you approach each day and situation. Do you have an idea of what you want to take place? Have you already decided that you cannot have rest or joy if you don’t get what you want? I hear people say things like, “If it rains tomorrow I am not going to be happy,” or, “When I get home from work today I am going to be upset if my children did not clean the house the way I told them to.” When we think like this, we are preparing to be upset and lose our rest before we even have a problem. We have made our mind up that we cannot have rest if we don’t have our way. We should say instead, “I hope the weather is nice tomorrow, but my joy is within me so I can be happy and have rest in my soul no matter what kind of weather we have.” We should think, “I hope the children did what I asked them to do so I don’t have to correct them, but I can handle any situation and remain peaceful in my soul.”

  Life will not always change, so we must be willing to change.

  Do you approach life with a negative, complaining attitude, or with a positive, grateful attitude? Do you take time in life to reward yourself for your progress, or do you punish yourself for your weaknesses and mistakes? Do you hurry all the time or take the day one thing at a time, asking for the help of the Holy Spirit? Do you live in the now (present moment) or do you live in yesterday and tomorrow in your thinking? How we approach life makes all the difference in our quality of life, so when we can’t fix life, let us remember that we can fix our approach to life. Make your mind up that you will be happy if you get your way and you will be happy if you don’t.

  Do you hurry all the time or take the day one thing at a time, asking for the help of the Holy Spirit?

  We all have endless examples in our life of changing our approach. Dave and I stay in hotels a lot and often find that the bathtub has no stopper to keep the tub filled. I enjoy a bath rather than a shower, so after getting upset numerous times over the lack of a stopper, I decided to carry one with me. It takes up very little space and keeps me in rest. Most hotels don’t have very good lighting. I imagine it is because they are trying to save money, but the fact is that most guests don’t enjoy being in a dark room. After complaining for years, we now call ahead and ask the hotel for several additional lamps for our room. If the bulbs are not a high enough wattage to put out sufficient light, we go buy brighter light bulbs. Once you get committed to living in rest and peace you will find ways to approach life differently.

  Last year we were traveling to Thailand and India and were stranded in Alaska due to airplane maintenance. I expected to leave St. Louis where it was very cold and end up in Thailand where it was hot, so I left home wearing sandals and didn’t take a coat. When we got off the plane in Alaska it was thirteen degrees below zero and the wind was blowing really hard. My daughter-in-law gave me a pair of bright pink socks to put on with sandals (stop and use your imagination); needless to say, they looked ridiculous. I bought a purple fuzzy sweatshirt in the hotel gift shop which I knew I would never wear again and did not want to spend money on, but it was all I could find. So with my hair sticking up because I had been sleeping on the plane, my summer outfit, my pink socks and purple fuzzy sweatshirt, I walked across the hotel lobby quite sure that nobody in Alaska, especially in the middle of the night, would recognize me. But our thoughts are not always God’s thoughts, and sure enough the bellman said loudly, “Aren’t you Joyce Meyer from television?” Immediately, a few other hotel employees who watch my program came running over, and so we had a small “meet and greet” in Alaska in the middle of the night, with crazy hair, pink socks and sandals, and a purple fuzzy sweatshirt.

  I did not want to be in Alaska, and I did not want to run around in the ridiculous outfit I had on, but I only had two choices. I could be upset and lose my rest, which would not change a thing, or I could decide to make an adventure out of it. I chose the adventure and things worked out all right. We can change our quality of life by changing our attitude toward the small and big things that usually irritate and anger us.

  Escaping Trouble Is Not the Answer

  David prayed that he could fly away from trouble and be at rest (see Ps. 55:5–8), but running from trouble is not the answer. We must face the enemy and defeat him in God’s power just as David defeated Goliath. God has given us “going through” power. He has given us a spirit not of fear, but of a calm, well-balanced, disciplined mind (see 2 Tim. 1:7). It is not God’s will for us to run or hide from challenges, but to confront them head-on, knowing we can fight a battle and remain at rest. After all, the battle is not ours, but God’s!

  God never blesses people who run. Wherever they are hiding, He finds them and takes them back to what they ran from so they can face it and experience true freedom. God gives us power and wisdom to deal with situations, not to try to escape them. Avoidance is not a godly character trait.

  Elijah tried to run and hide, but God made him go back to the place he ran from and continue the work he had been called to do. After God gave him a cake and a break, He confronted him about his attitude. He asked why he was hiding and what he thought he was doing. Elijah answered out of a bitter attitude and distorted thinking. He said that he alone was left to serve God and people were seeking to kill him. He told God that all the Israelites had forsaken His covenant, destroyed His altars and killed His prophets, and once again Elijah sounded as if he was filled with self-pity as He told God that only he was left being faithful (see 1 Kings 19:9–14). God told Elijah that He had seven thousand prophets left that had not bowed their knee to Baal and He also told him to get back to work. When we don’t stay in rest our thinking gets distorted and we lose proper perspective. We want to run away from responsibility, but as we can see with Elijah, God will not allow us to do that because escape is never the answer to life’s challenges.

  When we don’t stay in rest our thinking gets distorted and we lose proper perspective.

  Prayer Precedes Rest

  Our first line of defense against discouragement or disappointment is prayer. Pray at the beginning of each day, each project, every trial and disappointment. Don’t merely pray for the situation to go away, but instead pray that you will be able to handle the problem, maintain the character of God, and display the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Prayer invites the power of God into our situations. You may recall that earlier in this book we talked about the importance of having revelation concerning the power of God that is available to us who believe. This power can be released through believing prayer.

  We are told not to be anxious about anything, but in everything we are to pray and give thanks (see Phil. 4:6). It is foolish and a waste of energy and time to try to do anything before praying. Pray at all times, in every season, with every manner of prayer (see Eph. 6:18). We forfeit more than we can imagine because we often fail to pray.

  We will have no rest until we learn to stay calm in every situation (see Ps. 94:12–13). The most foolish thing in the world is to try to do something about something you cannot do anything about. When you are weary and overburdened come to Jesus and find rest. Take His yoke upon you and learn how He handles life, and you will find rest, relief, ease, refreshment, recreation, and blessed quiet for your souls. That sounds like a vacation to me! Do you need a vacation for your soul? If you do, one is being offered to you through learning how to rest your mind, will, and emotions, as well as your physical body.

  CHAPTER 12

  Priorities

  When our priorities are out of order it always creates stress. We need order in our homes, schedules, closets, garages, finances, and everything else in life. God is not the God of confusion! He runs a very orderly universe. There is n
o chaos in Heaven! God tells us to live in the peace that He left for us, so there must be a way to do it. We have many priorities in life that need attention, but in this book I want to discuss spiritual priorities.

  Sit, Stand, Walk, and Run

  We find all of these words in Scripture. We are told that we are seated in Christ and that refers to us entering the rest of God. We are taught to stand against the devil and all evil. We are to walk in God, walk in love, walk in righteousness, and walk by faith. We are also told to run our race, run to win, and run and not be weary.

  We are told to sit, stand, walk, and run, but many Christians try to run without ever having learned and practiced the other steps. These spiritual principles have a proper priority and must be established in our lives in that order. Babies do not jump out of their cribs and begin running around the house. They work a long time at learning to sit with pillows propped around them or with the help of an adult, and after much training and practice they finally learn to sit alone.

  We are told to sit, stand, walk, and run, but many Christians try to run without ever having learned and practiced the other steps.

  Some Christians can only stay in rest (seated) if they have other Christians continually propping them up, praying for them, and encouraging them to do so, but we must grow to the place where the rest of God is our normal state and not something we must try to attain. We must learn to sit alone without needing the constant support of others before we can start walking.