Eat the Cookie...Buy the Shoes: Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up

by Joyce Meyer

  Chastisement—God’s correction (done in love) teaching people to obey Him. Training (often painful) that is intended to develop our character and make us better people.

  Do you receive God’s chastisement with an attitude of celebration?

  Pruning—Cutting back, or cutting off a wild or diseased part of a plant. We are God’s plant and He is the Divine Gardener (see John 15:1–2).

  How do you respond when God cuts something out of your life that you are fond of?

  My experience as a teacher of God’s word is that people would normally prefer to hear words such as “love,” “grace,” “peace,” “prosperity,” and “blessing.” They lose their smiles and become quite somber with words like the ones I’ve defined above. However, I have discovered that even though they might not clap and cheer while being taught about these words, they will be very happy later on if they learn how to work with the Holy Spirit in applying these disciplines to their lives.

  What kind of books do you read? What kind of teaching and preaching do you prefer listening to? Do you have books in your library about character development, integrity, spiritual growth and maturity, going deeper in God, living in God’s presence, and obedience to God? Or, do you just read things that make you feel good, but don’t confront your behavior or challenge you to change? I could probably go into someone’s home and look at their library and tell you what kind of Christian they are and how interested they are in a deeper walk with God.

  We offer resource material at our conferences that will help people mature spiritually, but I often hide the meat of the word under “dessert titles,” so people will buy them. For example, I have a series on obedience that I call, “How to be radically and outrageously blessed.” I have to use the same tactic when I give my dog her medicine. I take the little pill that will keep her out of pain and wrap cheese or turkey around it so she thinks it is a treat. That is the only way to get her to take it.

  I once had a teaching series on pride and humility and nobody would buy it because the ones who needed it were too concerned (proud) that someone might see them purchase it and think they needed it. I also tried a series called “Developing Patience,” and that did not sell very well either. I actually heard people talking at the resource tables, saying, “You don’t want to buy that, you know what happens if you pray for or study patience.” They knew that patience is only developed by going through trials, but they didn’t want to find out enough to actually begin to work through the process. As I have said before, head knowledge alone is almost useless. The principles of God must be worked into our lives by studying the word and through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. We need what the Apostle Paul called the meat of the word. We need teachings that deal with wrong attitudes, sin, dying to self, and other important lessons.

  The Holy Spirit led Jesus into the wilderness, an uncomfortable place where He was tempted by the devil for forty days (see Luke 4:1–2). Why? So Jesus could put the principles into practice that He had studied and have the experience of resisting and defeating Satan. We don’t get any muscle (physical or spiritual) without working out. Any time God leads us into a difficult place it is always for our ultimate good. If you have been avoiding hard places I encourage you to embrace them because they will help you be what God wants you to be.

  This Can Be a Turning Point

  Perhaps you are being convicted that you have not given your all to God. Well, this can be a turning point in your life. God’s will is just a decision away. I would rather start wrong and finish right, than to start right and finish wrong. The Bible is filled with stories of men who started in the will of God, but began drifting from God’s will into their own.

  I would rather start wrong and finish right, than to start right and finish wrong.

  Saul was anointed by God to be king, and he did some of what God asked him to do, but he did not do all that the Lord told him to do. We must understand the importance of the all. The all makes all the difference in the world. Some of what God requires doesn’t work with Him; it is all or nothing if we truly want to please Him! He is looking for obedience, not sacrifices.

  Saul did almost all that God asked, but “almost all” is very deceptive. We can easily deceive ourselves, as Saul did, into thinking we have done what God has asked. Saul had not done God’s will and was confronted by the Prophet Samuel. Samuel said, “The Lord sent you on a mission and said, Go, utterly destroy the sinners, the Amalekites; and fight against them until they are consumed. Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord, but swooped down upon the plunder and did evil in the Lord’s sight?” Saul answered Samuel by saying, “Yes, I have obeyed the voice of the Lord and have gone the way which the Lord sent me, and have brought Agag king of Amalek and have utterly destroyed the Amalekites. But the people took from the spoil sheep and oxen, the chief of the things to be utterly destroyed, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal” (1 Sam. 15:18–21). It was at this point that Samuel told Saul God did not want sacrifices, but obedience.

  If we study this story we can learn a great lesson. First we see that Saul did almost all that God asked, but the little bit he did not do got him into as much trouble as if he had refused to do any of it. Secondly, we can see that Saul deceived himself. His own reasoning denied his conscience its normal and healthy function. I think the worst part of this story is that Saul told Samuel he kept the best of the spoil to sacrifice to God. He said that he disobeyed God in order to benefit God. That is the worst kind of deception!

  The worst thing about disobedience is that it promises to make you happy by giving you what you want, but it ends up making you miserable. We can never be truly happy with anything less than God’s perfect will. I have heard people speak on the permissive will of God and say that God wants us to walk in His perfect will, but that there is a place called God’s permissive will that is somewhere between being out of God’s will completely and being in His perfect will. I suppose that means something God will put up with, but doesn’t approve of.

  I personally don’t like that kind of teaching, because I believe as a teacher of God’s word that it is my job to help people be excellent, not mediocre. I realize that we may spend most of life working toward being in the perfect will of God, but we should definitely hunger for it, crave it, pursue and go after it with all of our might. Let’s not be mediocre people, who settle somewhere in the middle, halfway between God’s worst and His best. I can’t think of a good name for that place, but I suppose we can just call it a mess and be fairly accurate.

  Saul started out good, but he drifted fairly quickly into doing his own thing. Jacob, on the other hand, started really bad and ended up good. Jacob was a man who cheated, lied, tricked people, and connived to get what he wanted, but eventually he gave his all to God and became a great servant of God. In Genesis 32:22–28 you can read about how Jacob was restored to God after he was willing to give up all that he had in order to have peace in his soul. His soul definitely needed a vacation. He had spent his life running and hiding, worrying about being caught and punished for his deceptive behavior. But he decided to change. It is never too late to do things right! This can be a turning point for you if you need one.

  Is Your Behavior Pleasing to God?

  I established earlier in the book that God is pleased with us as His children. He loves and accepts us as we are, but if our hearts are right toward Him, then we will also want to please Him in all things. Is God pleased with how you dress, how you spend your money, what your entertainment choices are, what you read, watch, and talk about? It is true that God loves us no matter what choice we make, but He also said that if we loved Him we would obey Him (see John 14:15). Total consecration is definitely a journey, but the question is, where are you headed? Do you want God’s perfect will enough to sacrifice anything in order to have it? Are you willing to give God your all?

  Jesus once asked a rich, young ruler to give all of his money to the poor, and the young man went away sad because he was unable
to give his possessions (see Matt. 19:21–22). Jesus would have given it back to him many times over with joy, but the young man failed his test. He kept his possessions, but he had no joy. Sadly, much of the world is in the same condition as the young man. People’s possessions end up between them and God, and, sadly, their possessions are more important to them than they should be. Those people stubbornly hang onto their ways and willfulness, refusing to submit to God; they end up sad, depressed, angry, and unable to maintain good relationships. They are forever looking for something to fill the void in their souls.

  Oh, if people only knew the beauty of living with their souls on vacation. Give your will a vacation by submitting it to God and start celebrating life. Stop wrestling with God, and you will stop going around and around the same mountains (problems) because you are determined to have your own way.

  Give your will a vacation by submitting it to God and start celebrating life.

  What does the richest man in the world have if his money is gone? What does the most famous movie star or singer have if something happens and they lose their ability to perform? What does the most beautiful woman in the world have when she grows old and her skin is wrinkled, her hair is gray, and she is perhaps walking with a walker? We must make decisions now that we will be happy with later on in life, because later on always comes. I want to give my all to God so I never have regrets later on about what could have been if I had obeyed.

  When we give our all to God, when we obey Him in all things, and when all of our confidence is in Him, and when we only want what He wants us to have, there is nothing left to the soul but peace and rest (vacation). We have discovered the resurrection life that Paul talked about that lifts us out from among the dead while we are still in the body. The Psalmist talked about being hidden in the secret place of the Most High (see Ps. 91:1). I believe we have found that place when we know that from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. For all things originate with Him, live through Him, center in Him, and end in Him (see Rom. 11:36).

  Are you tired and weary, overburdened and exhausted? Then come to Jesus and He will give you a vacation for your soul! Your mind, emotions, and will can all be at rest and you can be a Christian that is an alleluia from head to foot, as Augustine of Hippo said you should be.

  CHAPTER 15

  Celebrate Discipline

  Living with our soul on vacation will require discipline. On the surface, that sounds like a contradiction. But we will need to use discipline in our thoughts, our emotions, and our willingness to release our will to God’s will. If we are going to give up worry, upset, and stubbornness, and instead choose to celebrate, party, eat cookies, buy shoes, play games, and have feasts that last several days at a time, won’t we eventually get into trouble? Yes, we would if we had no balance. That’s why we need to understand the role discipline must play in all areas of life. Usually people grimace and groan when they hear the word “discipline,” but discipline is not our enemy. In fact, it is actually our very good friend. Discipline helps us to be what we say we want to be and have what we say we want to have, but never will have without it. God has given us a spirit of discipline and self-control according to Scripture (see 2 Tim. 1:7). Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit-led life. A life without discipline is a disaster, and one that is all discipline and no celebration is a dry desert. We must have balance!

  As we learn to celebrate other things, let us also learn to celebrate discipline, because it is a wonderful tool that God has given us to be our helper, not our master. When various disciplines become laws, they become the master and we are the slaves. For example: When I was a young mother and homemaker, I was extremely disciplined about my housework. I cleaned house every day and that included dusting, polishing, sweeping, and using the vacuum cleaner. Of course the dishes were never in the sink for long, and the laundry was done daily. I refused to do anything that could have even hinted of entertainment until all of my work was done. I was proud of myself and actually looked down on my less-disciplined friends.

  Let us also learn to celebrate discipline, because it is a wonderful tool that God has given us to be our helper, not our master.

  As I grew in my relationship with God and started learning to be led by the Holy Spirit, I had a day when some friends invited me to go shopping with them and I not only had a desire to go, but felt the Holy Spirit telling me to go. However, I said no, because my disciplined routine had become a law for me that I lived by. I never deviated from it—I got all my work done before anything else! I ended up having a miserable day. I resented the fact that I was working and my friends were enjoying themselves, but I failed to see that it was my fault. Nothing went right that day because I was being led by Joyce, not God.

  As a child I realized that I did not get corrected by my dad when I was working, only when I was playing or laughing too loud. It seemed to me that the world applauded work, but disdained play. I felt safe when I was working and following the rules. Thankfully, I eventually learned that although disciplines are necessary, we must not let them rule us. It is permissible to occasionally say, “I just cannot do that discipline today… I have to play!” God had to teach me that the dirt would still be around the next day and that like Martha, I was often overly anxious and worried about things that I didn’t need to be concerned with. We all need some Mary days. Days when we lighten up and give ourselves a break!

  Occasionally we just cannot go to the gym, or stay on our diet, or clean house, or do whatever our routine is, and that is not wrong as long as we also have the discipline to get back on track the next day. The problem comes in when we have more undisciplined days than we do ones that are disciplined. Israel was commanded by God to have feasts, parties, and celebrations several times a year, but they were also commanded to work more than they partied. God said that in six days He created the world and rested on the seventh, and He gave us the same formula.

  I eat a cookie (with icing) approximately once a week, but I know that I cannot eat one daily and not have a bad result. Sadly, some people cannot do things in moderation. They say, “I am an all-or-nothing person.” But I don’t believe that is the way God intended us to be. I have had people tell me that if they allow themselves to eat one cookie, they will end up eating another and another and another, so they have to deny themselves all the time. They also tell me how sorry they feel for themselves that everyone else can enjoy a dessert now and then and they can’t. I believe the devil has deceived them and they have forgotten that God has given them a spirit of discipline and self-control. You can say yes when you want to and no when you want to. You have the same power in you that raised Christ from the dead!!!!!

  Develop a New Image

  How you see yourself is your image of you. It is like a picture you carry in your mental wallet and it affects all of your words, emotions, actions, and decisions. If you see yourself as someone who cannot control themselves, then that is the way you will be. If you see yourself as a person who has discipline and self-control then you will manifest discipline and self-control.

  In God’s kingdom things work differently than they do according to the world’s ways. For example, God’s word teaches us to line our thinking up with His, and then what He says will come to pass (Proverbs 23:7). That is the opposite of how the average person who has no knowledge of godly ways functions. They only believe what they see. They have no knowledge of or belief in the spiritual realm. As Christians, we believe first and then see! We trust God’s word and promises more than we trust how we feel or what we see with our natural eyes.

  If God says that we have a spirit of discipline and self-control then we need to think and say that we have a spirit of discipline and self-control. If you will see yourself the way He sees you (finished) then you will become what He says you are. We must remember that God sees the end from the beginning. He called Abraham a father of many nations long before he had a child. He calls us disciplined and self-controlled and we must have that godly image
if we want a life of freedom.

  Discipline Is Freedom

  How do you view discipline? Do you see it as something that controls you, or something that helps you control yourself? Do you see it as something you have to do, or something that helps you become the person you truly want to be? Living a disciplined life is the only pathway to freedom. Discipline is not bondage—it is freedom!

  Disciplining ourselves to exercise and develop good eating habits sets us free to feel good and be comfortable in our clothes. Disciplining ourselves to manage our money wisely sets us free from the pressure of need and debt. Disciplining ourselves to be excellent rather than mediocre or downright lazy gives us the enjoyment of self-respect. Discipline is hard work, but it is easier than trying to live a life that is out of control.

  Discipline allows us to enjoy a clean, well-kept home, automobile, and work space. In many ways it sets us free from fear. We don’t have to fear an economic downturn if we have disciplined ourselves to be prepared spiritually and financially. Discipline and self-control are both gifts from God and are intended to help us enjoy the good life that is God’s will for us.

  This book is about enjoying the freedom of celebration. It is about giving yourself a break and rewarding yourself for progress. It is about recess and vacation, but the truth is that none of those freedoms are possible unless we also use discipline and self-control. Using a generous amount of discipline and self-control is what makes a life of celebration possible. I would be doing you an injustice if I gave you the idea that you can do nothing but party, feast, and celebrate. Actually, even if we could do that we would not enjoy it because God has built us to need balance. We actually need the discipline as well as the party. We might even say that the discipline is what gives us the right to the party.