by Sarah Morgan
‘She’s not having our baby on this island.’ Logan inhaled deeply and looked at her, his eyes bright with fear. ‘I am not losing my wife!’
CHAPTER TEN
‘IT WOULD really help if someone could tell me what is going on here,’ Conner drawled as he and Flora followed Logan through the surgery to the door that connected with their house. ‘My cousin, who I always considered to be of sound mind, appears to have lost the plot. Given that he isn’t usually prone to bouts of hysterics, I’m assuming there’s a reason.’
Flora paused until Logan was out of earshot. ‘He hasn’t told you what happened to his first wife?’
‘I never asked.’
Flora rolled her eyes. ‘Men! OK. Well, to keep it brief, Logan was married before. His first wife died in childbirth, here on Glenmore. There was a terrible storm and he couldn’t get her off the island and she…’ Flora bit her lip. ‘Well, she died. There isn’t time to tell you more than that. There was nothing anyone could do, but don’t try telling Logan that because he still blames himself.’
‘Right.’ Conner lifted his eyes and stared at his cousin’s retreating shoulders. ‘So we can expect him to be very relaxed and calm about the whole thing.’
‘If he can’t get Evanna off Glenmore for the delivery, he’ll probably have a breakdown. We have to be very, very sensitive about this whole situation,’ Flora said quietly, and Conner shot her a look, his expression faintly mocking.
‘Sensitive? Perhaps I should just leave right now.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous. We need a plan. You can deliver the baby, I’ll reassure Evanna and Logan—’
‘No way.’ Conner lifted his hands and stopped her in mid flow. ‘I don’t deliver babies. The only thing I know about babies is how not to produce them.’
Flora stared at him. ‘Are you telling me you’ve never delivered a baby before? You’re a doctor.’
His gaze was sardonic. ‘There isn’t a great deal of need for obstetrics in the army. Of course I’ve delivered a few babies but let’s just say that my experience in that area is limited.’
‘Mine, too. But we mustn’t let them know that.’ Flora bit her lip and thought fast. ‘It doesn’t matter. I can deliver the baby as long as it’s straightforward. If there’s a problem, you’ll have to help. It will be fine. What they really need is reassurance. We just need to be confident. Really confident. Babies come by themselves…’ she glanced at him doubtfully ‘…usually.’
‘I can do confident,’ Conner said, a trace of humour in his eyes, ‘but I can tell you now that Logan isn’t going to let me touch his wife.’
‘Logan is traumatised. He’ll do what we tell him.’ She pushed him through the door and he lifted an eyebrow.
‘I didn’t know you were capable of being so dominating. Don’t ever expect me to believe you’re shy after this performance.’
Flora shrugged. ‘You don’t know me at all, do you?’
‘Evidently not.’
They found Evanna in the breakfast room, a huge sunny room at the back of the house that adjoined the kitchen and looked over the garden.
‘You can’t possibly want to push,’ Logan was saying in a hoarse voice, his arm round Evanna’s shoulders. ‘This is your first baby. First babies take ages. Days sometimes.’
Evanna’s face was pale and streaked with sweat. ‘Not all first babies take ages.’ She broke off and Flora could see that she was struggling with pain.
Agitated, Logan stood up. ‘I’m calling the air ambulance.’
‘The wind’s too strong,’ Conner said in an even tone. ‘They can’t fly. I’ve already rung them.’
Evanna lifted a hand and touched Logan’s face. ‘You have to calm down,’ she urged softly. ‘You’re panicking and I need you.’
‘I’m not panicking,’ Logan said tightly. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry. I understand—and I love you.’
‘All right—enough.’ Conner pulled a face. ‘You’re making me feel ill. Flora, did I hear you asking Janet for a delivery pack? I presume such a thing exists on this godforsaken island?’
‘We have everything,’ Logan growled, his hair roughened from the number of times he’d run his fingers through it. ‘I made sure. I’ve got the equipment to do a Caesarean section if it’s necessary.’
‘It’s not going to be necessary,’ Conner said calmly, washing his hands. ‘Evanna, I’m going to take a look and see what’s happening. Logan, go and check on Kirsty.’
Logan’s jaw tightened. ‘I’m not leaving her.’
Conner inhaled deeply and let the water stream off his hands into the sink. ‘Leave the room, Logan. All this drama is giving me a headache.’
‘No.’
Conner dried his hands and then pulled on the gloves Flora handed him. ‘I can’t concentrate with you hovering, ready to shout abuse at me.’
‘What do you know about delivering babies?’
‘I’m full of surprises.’ Conner turned away from Logan and concentrated on Evanna, his smile gentle. ‘The problem is that no one on this island trusts me.’
She gave a wan smile. ‘I trust you, Conner.’
‘It’s all going to be fine, you know that, don’t you?’
She swallowed. ‘Yes…’ Her voice faltered but she returned his smile. ‘Of course it is. Have you—have you ever delivered a baby before?’
‘Do you think I’d be here now if I hadn’t? I love delivering babies,’ Conner said smoothly, moving to her right side and glancing at Flora, his gaze faintly mocking. ‘Delivering babies is my favourite thing.’
Evanna clutched his arm. ‘You really have done it before?’
‘Loads of times,’ Conner said easily, and Logan snorted.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake! I suppose you’re going to try and convince us that the army is popping out babies all the time.’
‘Of course not.’ Conner’s gaze didn’t flicker. ‘But the locals are. And they always came to us for help.’
Evanna gave a low moan and reached for Flora’s hand. ‘Actually, Logan, I think you should ring Meg and check on Kirsty. She was a bit off colour this morning.’
‘But—’
‘Logan!’ Evanna’s voice was surprisingly firm. ‘You have to let Conner do this. We’re wasting time. I tell you this baby is coming now, whether you like it or not.’
Flora realised that it was the first time ever she’d heard Evanna raise her voice and Logan took several deep breaths, his face a mask of indecision. ‘All right—but I’ll be back.’ He strode away from them and Conner crouched down beside Evanna.
‘Are you comfortable there?’
‘I don’t think I’d be comfortable anywhere,’ she gasped, wincing as another contraction hit her. ‘Wait a minute. I can’t—Oh, Conner, I want to push—really…’
‘Just hold on.’ Flora dropped to her knees beside her friend. ‘We’re going to take a look, see if we can see the baby’s head. We need to assess what’s happening.’
‘I can tell you what’s happening,’ Evanna muttered, her teeth gritted. ‘I’m a midwife. This baby is coming. I think it’s called precipitate labour.’
‘Well, that’s good news,’ Conner said lightly. ‘If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s hanging around.’
Janet hurried into the room with the delivery pack.
‘Open it,’ Conner ordered brusquely. ‘We’re both wearing sterile gloves.’
‘Open it fast,’ Flora said calmly. ‘I can see the head. In fact, I’d say it will crown with the next contraction.’ It was too quick, she thought to herself. Much too quick. ‘Don’t push, Evanna. Can you take some shallow breaths? Pant? That’s brilliant. Janet, put the central heating on.’
Janet stared at her. ‘It’s the middle of the summer.’
‘It’s not that warm in here and it’s stormy outside. The temperature will drop and I want to heat the room a bit. And warm some towels.’ Just in case.
Evanna groaned. ‘I have to p
ush. I can’t not push. You have no idea. I’ve got another contraction coming—I can feel the head, Flora.’
‘I know. It’s brilliant,’ Flora said cheerfully, ignoring Conner’s ironic glance. She used her left hand to control the escape of the head and then gently allowed it to extend, remembering the deliveries she’d observed in her training. ‘It’s all fine, Evanna. The head is out.’ And terrifying.
‘Is he breathing? Is the cord round the neck? It’s too fast. Logan was right,’ Evanna gasped, tears trickling out of her eyes.
‘That’s nonsense, Evanna,’ Flora said. She gently felt for the cord and her heart plummeted when she felt something. Struggling not to panic, she slid her fingers under it and slipped it over the baby’s head. Only then did she start to breathe again. ‘Everything is fine, Evanna. And there’s nothing wrong with having a baby at home, you know that. You’re a midwife!’
Suddenly aware that Conner was right by her side, Flora glanced at him. ‘Is someone going to call Logan? He should be here for the next bit.’
‘No.’ Evanna grabbed his hand. ‘It will be too much for him.’
But the decision was taken out of their hands because Logan appeared in the doorway, his face grey. ‘Oh, God—what can I do?’
‘Pour yourself a whisky and hold Evanna’s hand,’ Conner advised, and Flora glanced at him.
‘Actually, you can draw up the Syntometrine so that Conner can give it.’
Evanna gave another gasp. ‘Flora, I’ve got another one coming.’
‘Great.’ Flora smiled at her, concentrated on delivering the anterior shoulder and then the baby slithered out, red-faced and bawling. ‘Little boy. Congratulations.’ She lifted the wriggling bundle onto Evanna’s abdomen and covered him with the warmed towels that Janet quietly handed her.
‘Oh, Logan…’ Tears spilled down Evanna’s cheeks as she curved her arm protectively around the baby.
Logan stared down at his wife and son, his eyes bright. He didn’t speak. Then he lifted a hand and pressed his fingers to his eyes, clearly struggling for control.
Conner rose to his feet. ‘She’s fine,’ he said softly. ‘They’re both fine. Your family is safe. You can relax.’ He hesitated for a moment and then reached out a hand and closed his fingers over his cousin’s shoulder. Flora felt a lump build in her own throat as she saw the gesture of support and reassurance.
Who said Conner wasn’t capable of forming relationships?
Who said that he wasn’t capable of feeling?
Knowing that her work wasn’t finished, Flora turned her attention back to the delivery. She clamped the cord twice, divided it and then attached a Hollister clamp near the umbilicus. ‘Two normal arteries, Evanna,’ she murmured. ‘Everything is looking good here.’ She gently applied traction to the cord and the placenta slid out into the bowl.
‘I’ll check it.’ Logan stepped forward to help, his face regaining some of its colour. ‘I’m feeling fine now. Thank you. Both of you.’
‘He’s already feeding, Logan.’ Evanna sounded sleepy and delighted at the same time. ‘What are we going to call him?’
They murmured together and Flora’s eyes misted as she watched them with their new son. Logan’s hands were gentle, his face softened by love, and Evanna looked as though she’d won the lottery.
Feeling a lump in her throat, Flora glanced towards Conner. He was standing at the French windows, staring out across the garden, his shoulders tense and his features frozen.
She wondered what he was thinking.
Was he remembering his own family, and the contrast they must have made to the scene playing out in front of him?
They’d shared enough secrets in the stillness of the night for her to know that he would be less than comfortable with such undiluted domesticity.
Wanting to help, she stood up and swiftly cleared everything away. ‘We’re going to leave the two of you alone for a few minutes,’ she said to Logan. ‘We’ll be next door if you need us.’ She washed her hands quickly and then touched Conner’s arm.
He turned, his face expressionless. ‘Yes?’
‘I don’t think we’re needed here.’ She gestured with her head. ‘Let’s go next door.’
‘Sure.’ With a faint shrug he followed her through to the surgery and they walked into her room. But he didn’t reach for her or make any of his usual wry, disparaging comments. Instead, he seemed distant. Remote. ‘So—I didn’t know you were a midwife.’
‘I’m not. That’s the first baby I’ve ever delivered.’
Conner gave a short laugh. ‘You’re full of surprises. I never would have known.’
‘Do you want to know the truth? I was always terrified that this baby would come when Evanna was on the island and I knew Logan would panic. So I read a few books, asked Evanna a few questions…’ Flora shrugged, wishing that he’d relax with her. ‘I had a nasty moment when I felt the cord but it was all fine. And it helped knowing you were there.’
‘I was as much use as a hog roast at a vegetarian supper,’ he drawled. ‘You did it all.’
‘That’s not true. You were strong,’ she said softly. ‘You gave Evanna confidence, and if something had happened to her or the baby, you would have known what to do. You’re good in an emergency.’
He looked at her for a moment and then looked away. ‘Well, they’re both all right, and that’s all that matters.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘I’d better get going, or Logan will be grumbling that I haven’t finished my paperwork.’
Flora felt a flicker of desperation.
Something had changed between them and she didn’t know what it was.
She wanted to say something about Logan and Evanna. She wanted to show him that she understood how hard it must be for him, but he was cool and remote, discouraging any sort of personal intrusion into his thoughts or feelings. And, anyway, she didn’t want to have that conversation here, where they could be interrupted at any moment. ‘Are you busy tonight?’
‘Why do you ask?’
Her heart skipped. ‘Because I thought you might fancy skinny-dipping in the sea. It’s a great form of relaxation.’
He stood for a moment and then he turned. His ice-blue eyes were serious and there was no hint of a smile on his mouth. ‘I don’t think so.’
Her heart plummeted. ‘I’ll take off my bra and knickers this time, if that would swing your decision.’
‘No, Flora.’ His voice held none of its usual mockery. ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
‘Oh. I thought you—I thought we might—’ She broke off, not knowing what to say. ‘Of course. Sorry. I understand.’
Had he guessed how she felt about him?
Probably. Sooner or later it happened to every woman who spent time with him, she was sure of that.
He’d guessed, and now he was running for cover. She’d always known this moment would come, but that didn’t make it any easier. In fact, the pain was so overwhelming that she turned away, not wanting to embarrass herself or him by saying anything else.
‘This thing between us has to end, Flora. Do you understand?’ He closed his hands around her upper arms and spun her towards him, his eyes fierce as he stared into her face. ‘Do you?’
Even though she’d sensed this moment was coming, she felt totally unprepared. ‘Yes,’ she croaked. ‘I understand, Conner.’ If he didn’t want to be with her, she couldn’t change that. And she didn’t want to make him feel bad by showing how much she was hurting. ‘We’ve been together for over a month.’ She gave a tremulous smile. ‘That’s probably a record for you. Don’t feel guilty. We had a great time. I had a great time.’
He gritted his teeth. ‘Don’t cry.’
‘I’m not going to cry.’ At least, not until she was on her own.
And she wasn’t going to admit that she loved him either, because that would just make the whole situation even more embarrassing for both of them.
And what was the point of it?
His fingers tig
htened on her arms. ‘We never should have started this,’ he said hoarsely. ‘I never should have started it.’
‘You didn’t. I did. And, Conner, you’re hurting me.’
‘Sorry.’ He released her instantly and let out a breath. ‘Sorry.’
‘You don’t have to look so tormented.’ Though it took all her courage, she was determined to say it. ‘You never promised me anything. You haven’t done anything wrong. It was just a bit of fun.’
‘And will it be fun when the locals work out who the woman is that I’ve been seeing? No, it won’t.’ His tone impatient and full of self-loathing, he turned away from her and strode towards the window. ‘I can’t believe I thought for a moment we could have a secret affair on an island like Glenmore. I’d forgotten what the place was like. You can’t sneeze without someone counting the microbes.’
‘I didn’t think you cared what people say about you.’
‘I don’t. But I care about what people say about you. I saw your face, Flora,’ he said roughly, ‘when you were looking at that baby. You watched Evanna and Logan and you wanted what they have. Admit it.’
‘I admit it,’ she said simply. ‘Who wouldn’t want that, Logan? Someone to love. A family. Isn’t it what everyone wants?’
His hands dropped to his sides. ‘I can’t do this. I’m sorry, Flora.’
‘Is this because of Evanna and Logan?’ Suddenly she couldn’t just let him walk away. ‘Talk to me, Conner. I know you’re upset about what just happened and I can imagine it must be very hard seeing all that family stuff when your own family life was so desperately bad, but—’
He jerked away from her and strode towards the door. ‘Enough.’
‘Please, talk to me, Conner. I can see you’re upset. Come over later. Even if we don’t…’ She stumbled over the words. ‘If we’re not still together, I’m still your friend.’
He paused with his hand on the door and then he turned slowly. And then he looked at her and his eyes were bleak and empty. ‘People are already talking.’
‘I know.’
‘They’re going to find out, Flora,’ he said roughly. ‘Nods. Winks. Whispers. Everyone wondering what a girl like you is doing with a man like me. And you’ll hate it. You hate being the focus of attention. Take that first night—you were mortified when Jim and the others turned up on the beach.’