by Sarah Morgan
Jenna straightened her shoulders and stood a little taller. ‘If you wouldn’t mind holding on to Black for one more day. I need to buy a book, check on the internet—make sure I know what I’m doing. A patient I saw last week breeds Labradors—I’d like to give her a ring and chat to her before I take Black.’ Suddenly she felt strong, and the feeling was good—almost as if happiness was pouring through her veins.
Elaine gave a delighted laugh, relief lighting her face. ‘If you’re sure?’
‘I’m completely sure.’ And she had no need to ask Lexi what she thought. Lexi had wanted a dog all her life. ‘I can take him with me on my visits—tie him to my bicycle while I go indoors. When I’m in clinic he can either play with Evanna’s dog, or just stay in our garden. I’ll find someone to build a fence.’
Elaine looked worried. ‘Black rarely does what people want him to do.’
‘That’s fine by me.’ Jenna stroked her hand over the dog’s head, thinking of how often she’d disappointed her own mother. ‘Maybe he and I have something in common. Welcome to rebellion.’
‘That would be a good name,’ Elaine laughed. ‘Rebel. You should call him Rebel.’
‘Just hope he doesn’t live up to his name,’ Ryan said dryly, closing his bag. ‘There’s a dog-training session every Thursday night in the church hall. You might want to book him in.’
* * *
‘He ate your favourite shoes?’ Laughing, Evanna leaned across the table and helped herself to more lasagne. ‘You must have been mad.’
‘With myself, for leaving them out.’ Jenna was smiling too, and Ryan found it impossible not to watch her because the smile lit her face. He loved the dimple that appeared at the corner of her mouth, and the way her eyes shone when she was amused.
She was smiling regularly now, and the black circles had gone from under her eyes.
Extraordinary, he thought, how Glenmore could change people. ‘What does Lexi think of him?’
‘She adores him. She’s the only teenager on Glenmore up at dawn during the summer holidays, and that’s because she can’t wait to walk him.’
Evanna cleared her plate and looked longingly at the food. ‘Why am I so hungry? Do you think I could be pregnant again, Logan?’
It was only because he was looking at Jenna that Ryan saw her smile dim for a fraction of a second. Then she pulled herself together and joined in the conversation, her expression warm and excited.
‘Do you think you could be? Charlie is two, isn’t he? What a lovely age gap.’
Evanna agreed. ‘I always wanted at least four kids.’
Ryan wondered if he was the only one who had noticed that Jenna had put her fork down quietly and was no longer eating.
Perhaps it was just that she found the whole happy family scene playing out in front of her emotionally painful. Or perhaps it was something else.
She’d been happy enough until Evanna had mentioned having more children.
Evanna lost the battle with her will-power and helped herself to more food. ‘Weren’t you tempted to have more children, Jenna?’
Sensing Jenna’s tension, Ryan shifted the focus of the conversation away from her. ‘If you’re planning more children, you’re going to have to build an extension on this house, Logan.’
‘They can share a room,’ Evanna said. ‘If it’s a girl, she can share with my Kirsty. If it’s a boy, with Charlie.’
She and Logan spun plans while Jenna relocated her food from one side of her plate to the other.
It was the question about children that had chased away her appetite, Ryan thought grimly, reaching for his wine. And now he found himself wondering the same as Evanna. Why hadn’t she had more children? She clearly loved being a mother.
Evanna heaped seconds onto everyone’s plate except Jenna’s. ‘Aren’t you enjoying it, Jenna?’
Jenna looked up and met Ryan’s gaze.
They stared at each other for a moment, and then she gave a faltering smile and picked up her fork. ‘It’s delicious.’ With a determined effort she ate, but Ryan knew she was doing it not because she was hungry, but because she didn’t want to hurt Evanna’s feelings. She was that sort of person, wasn’t she? She thought about other people. Usually to the exclusion of her own needs.
He’d never actually met anyone as unselfish as her.
He felt something punch deep in his gut.
‘Ryan—you have to fill those legs and wide shoulders with something.’ Evanna pushed the dish towards Ryan but he held up a hand.
‘Preferably not adipose tissue. I couldn’t eat another thing, but it was delicious, thanks. I ought to be on my way.’ Sitting here watching Jenna was doing nothing for his equilibrium.
Why had he accepted Evanna’s invitation to dinner?
Over the past weeks he’d made sure he’d avoided being in a social situation with Jenna, and he had a feeling she’d been doing the same. And yet both of them had said yes to Evanna’s impromptu invitation to join them for a casual supper.
‘You can’t go yet.’ Evanna’s eyes flickered to Jenna. ‘Finish telling us about dog-training.’
It occurred to Ryan that the supper invitation probably hadn’t been impromptu. Watching Evanna draw the two of them together, he had a sense that she’d planned the evening very carefully.
‘The dog-training is a failure.’ Jenna finished her wine. ‘I really ought to go. Lexi was invited out to a friend’s house, and she’s taken Rebel, but she’ll be back soon. I want to be there when they drop her home. I don’t like her coming back to an empty house.’
Ryan poured himself a glass of water. ‘I saw her eating fish and chips on the quay with the Harrington twins last week. She’s obviously made friends.’
‘Yes.’ This time Jenna’s smile wasn’t forced. ‘People have been very welcoming. There’s hardly an evening when she’s in.’
Which must mean that Jenna was often alone.
Ryan frowned, wondering how she spent her evenings.
Was she lonely?
He realised suddenly just how hard this move must have been for Jenna. Her relationship with her mother was clearly strained and her husband had left her. She’d moved to an area of the country where she knew no one, taken a new job and started a new life. And her only support was a teenager who seemed to blame her for everything that had gone wrong. And yet she carried on with quiet dignity and determination.
Unsettled by just how much he admired her, he stood up. ‘I need to get back. I have things to do.’
Like reminding himself that the worst thing you could do after a relationship went wrong was dive into another relationship. That was the last thing Jenna needed right now. As for him—he had no idea what he needed.
‘You can’t possibly leave now! I made dessert—’ Evanna glanced between him and Jenna and then cast a frantic look at Logan, who appeared oblivious to his wife’s efforts to keep the two of them at her table.
‘If Ryan has things to do, he has things to do.’
‘Well, obviously, but—I was hoping he’d give Jenna a lift.’
‘I’ll give Jenna a lift if she wants one,’ Logan said, and Evanna glared at her husband.
‘No! You can’t do it, you have that—thing—you know…’ she waved a hand vaguely ‘…to fix for me. It needs doing—urgently.’
‘Thing?’ Logan looked confused, and Ryan gave a halfsmile and strolled to the door, scooping up his jacket on the way. If Evanna had hoped for help in her matchmaking attempts then she was going to be disappointed.
‘I don’t need a lift,’ Jenna said quickly. ‘I brought my bike. I’ll cycle.’
She was keeping her distance, just as he was. Which suited him.
Unfortunately it didn’t suit Evanna.
‘You can’t cycle! It’s late. You could be mugged, or you might fall into a ditch.’
‘It isn’t that late, and if I don’t cycle I won’t be able to get to work tomorrow. My bike won’t fit into Ryan’s car.’ Ever practical, Jenna s
tood up. ‘I hadn’t realised how late it was. Supper was delicious, Evanna. Are you sure I can’t wash up?’
‘No—the dishwasher does that bit…’ Evanna looked crestfallen, but Jenna appeared not to notice as she dropped to her knees to hand a toy to Charlie, the couple’s two-year-old son.
Catching the wistful look on her face, Ryan felt something tug inside him. He found her kindness as appealing as the length of her legs and the curve of her lips.
As she walked past him to the door he caught her eye and she blushed slightly, said another thank-you to Evanna and Logan and walked out of the house, leaving the scent of her hair trailing over his senses.
By the time Ryan had said his farewells and followed her out of the house Jenna was fiddling with her bike, head down. Something about the conversation had upset her, he knew that. He also knew that if he delved into the reason he’d probably upset her more. He strolled across to her, his feet crunching on the gravel. ‘Are you sure you don’t want a lift home?’
‘Positive. I’ll be fine, but thanks.’ She hooked her bag over the handlebars and Ryan noticed that her movements were always graceful, fluid. Like a dancer.
‘Mrs Parker was singing your praises this week.’
‘That’s good to hear.’ Smiling, she pushed a cycle helmet onto her head and settled onto the bike. ‘Under that fierce exterior she’s a sweet lady. Interesting past. Did you know she drove an ambulance during the war?’
‘No. Did she tell you that during one of your afternoon tea sessions?’
‘She told you about that?’ Jenna fastened the chin strap. ‘I call in sometimes, on my way home. I pass her front door.’
And he had a feeling she would have called in even if it hadn’t been on her way home. The fact that she had time for everyone hadn’t gone unnoticed among the islanders. ‘Her leg is looking better than it has for ages. I suspect it’s because you’re nagging her to wear her stockings.’
‘It isn’t easy when the weather is warm. She needs a little encouragement.’
‘So you’ve been stopping by several times a week, encouraging her?’
‘I like her.’
They were making conversation, but he knew she was as aware of him as he was of her.
Looking at her rose-pink mouth, he wondered if she’d had a relationship since her husband.
‘Evanna upset you this evening.’
Her gaze flew to his. Guarded. ‘Not at all. I was a little tired, that’s all. Rebel sometimes wakes me up at night, walking round the kitchen. I’m a light sleeper.’
Ryan didn’t push it. ‘I walk on the beach most mornings. If you want help with the dog-training, you could join me.’
‘I’ll remember that. Thanks.’ She dipped her head so that her face was in shadow, her expression unreadable. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Ryan.’
He was a breath away from stopping her. A heartbeat away from doing something about the chemistry they were both so carefully ignoring.
What would she do if he knocked her off her bike and tumbled her into the heather that bordered Evanna’s garden?
‘Goodnight.’ He spoke the word firmly and then watched as she cycled away, the bike wobbling slightly as she found her balance.
He was still watching as she vanished over the brow of the hill into the dusk.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘TWO salmon fillets, please.’ Jenna stood in the fishmonger’s, trying to remember a time when she’d bought food that wasn’t shrink-wrapped and stamped with a date. And she’d never bought fish. Clive had hated fish.
Was that why she now ate fish three times a week?
Was she being contrary?
Eyeing the alternatives spread out in front of her, she gave a faint shrug. So what if she was? The advantage of being single was that you could live life the way you wanted to live it. She had a dog and a garden, and now she was eating fish.
‘Just you and the bairn eating tonight, then?’ Hamish selected two plump fillets, wrapped the fish and dropped it into a bag.
‘That’s right.’ How did anyone have a secret life on Glenmore? After only a month on the island, everyone knew who she was. And what she ate. And who she ate it with. Strangely enough, she didn’t mind.
‘How was your dinner with Dr McKinley?’
All right, maybe she minded.
Wondering if the entire island was involved in the match making attempt, Jenna struggled for an answer. ‘Dinner was casual. With Evanna and Logan. Just supper—nothing personal.’ She cringed, knowing she sounded as though she had something to hide. ‘How’s Alice doing?’ Changing the subject quickly, she tried to look relaxed.
‘Still rushing around. I say to her, “Rest, for goodness’ sake.” But does she listen?’ Hamish added a bunch of fresh parsley to the bag. ‘No, she doesn’t. That’s women for you. Stubborn. Alice would die if it meant proving a point.’
‘Well, I saw her in clinic yesterday and the wound was healing nicely, so I’m sure she isn’t going to die any time soon.’ Jenna dug her purse out of her bag. ‘How much do I owe you?’
‘Nothing.’ His weathered brow crinkled into a frown as he handed over the bag. ‘As if I’d take money after what you did for my Alice. I said to her, “It’s a good job you fell outside Nurse Jenna’s house, otherwise it would have been a different story.” You sorted her out, fed her, had a lovely chat.’ He glanced up as the door opened behind her and a bell rang. ‘Morning, Dr McKinley. Surf’s up for you today. They had the lifeboat out this morning—two kids in trouble on the rocks round at the Devil’s Jaws. Place is roped off, but they climbed over.’
Jenna froze. He was behind her? She’d thought about him all night—thought about the way he’d watched her across the table. He’d made her so nervous she hadn’t been able to eat. And he’d noticed that she wasn’t eating.
Adopting her most casual expression, she turned and looked.
He was standing in the doorway, a sleek black wetsuit moulding itself to every muscular dip and curve of his powerful shoulders.
The bag of salmon slipped from her fingers and landed with a plop on the tiled floor.
Hamish cleared his throat pointedly and Jenna stooped to retrieve her bag, her face as red as a bonfire. ‘Good morning, Dr McKinley.’ She turned back to the fish counter and developed a sudden interest in the dressed crab that Hamish had on display as she tried to compose herself. Over the past few weeks she’d had plenty of practice. In fact she was proud of how controlled she was around him.
They worked together every day, but so far she’d managed not to repeat any of the embarrassing sins she’d committed on her first day, like staring at his mouth. Even during dinner last night she’d managed to barely look at him.
And if she occasionally thought about how his hands had felt on her shoulders that day in her kitchen—well, that was her secret. A girl could dream, and she knew better than anyone that there was a world of difference between dreams and reality.
Jenna continued to stare at the crab. It was a shock to discover that, having thought she’d never trust a man again, she could actually find one attractive. But even if she could trust a man, the one thing she couldn’t trust was her feelings. She knew she was hurt. She knew she was angry. And she knew that she was lonely for adult company.
This would be a bad, bad time to have a relationship even if one was on offer. Which it clearly wasn’t—because, as Lexi was always telling her, she was past it. Why would Ryan want a relationship with someone like her?
‘Thought I’d save you a journey and drop off that prescription.’ Ryan handed it to Hamish. ‘Did you know that crab personally, Jenna? You’ve been staring at him for the past five minutes.’
Jenna looked up, her inappropriate thoughts bringing the colour rushing to her cheeks. ‘He has the same complexion as my first cousin.’
The corners of his mouth flickered. ‘Yes? I can recommend a cream for that condition.’
She felt the breath catch in her throat because his s
mile was so sexy, and there was that unmistakable flash of chemistry that always occurred when they were together.
Imagining what it would be like to kiss a man like him, Jenna stared at him for a moment and then turned back to the crab, telling herself that even if things had been different she’d never have been sophisticated enough to hold a man like him. Ryan McKinley might be working on Glenmore, but she recognised a high-flier when she saw one. He was like one of those remote, intimidating consultants who strode the corridors of the hospital where she’d trained. Out of her league.
Hamish exchanged a look with Ryan and raised his eyebrows. ‘You want to take a closer look at that crab?’
‘No.’ Flustered, Jenna pushed her hair out of her eyes. ‘No, thanks—I—But it does look delicious.’ Oh, for goodness’ sake. What was the matter with her? Lexi was right—she was desperate. And she needed to leave this shop before she dropped her salmon a second time. Smiling at Hamish, she walked towards the door.
‘Wait a minute, Nurse Jenna.’ Hamish called after her. ‘Has Dr McKinley asked you to the beach barbecue? Because if he hasn’t, he’s certainly been meaning to.’
Did everyone on Glenmore interfere with everyone else’s lives?
Jenna looked at Ryan, who looked straight back at her, his expression unreadable.
Realising that Hamish had put them both in an impossible position, Jenna was about to formulate a response when Ryan straightened.
‘It’s on Saturday. In aid of the lifeboat. You should come.’
Knowing he’d only invited her because Hamish had pushed him, Jenna shook her head. ‘I’m busy on Saturday.’
Hamish tutted. ‘How can you be busy? Everything shuts early. Everyone on the island will be there. There’s nothing else to do. Young thing like you needs a night out. You’ve done nothing but work since the day you stepped off that ferry.’
A night out?
When she finally felt ready for a night out it wouldn’t be with a man like Ryan McKinley. When and if she did date a man again, she’d date someone safe and ordinary. Someone who didn’t make her tongue knot and her insides turn to jelly. And preferably someone who didn’t put her off her food.