The Bogey Man

by Marja McGraw

  Stanley and Felicity were dressed as Mr. & Mrs. Frankenstein’s Monsters.

  “Sandi,” Felicity squealed. “Look at you. You look like a gun moll.”

  “I don’t think Bacall was a gun moll in any of her movies, but I could be wrong.”

  “And Pete, you make a perfect Bogey. All you need is a cigarette hanging out of your mouth.”

  Pete reached into his pocket and pulled out a smoke.

  “Wait a minute. You quit!” I didn’t want to see him start smoking again.

  Pete pulled a paper off his cigarette and took a bite, while giving me a scathing look.

  “Oh. Heh, heh. It’s chocolate. Cute. Looked real for a second.” I’d love him even if he did smoke, but I wouldn’t be happy about it.

  It was time to change the subject, so I turned to my friends. “You two are amazing. Your skin tone and scars look so real. How’d you do that?”

  “I’ve learned a few make-up tricks over the years.” Felicity’s mile-wide smile told me she was enjoying my praise.

  “And Stan, I need a picture of you two. This is something I want to remember.” I still held my little disposable camera and waved it at him.

  Stanley tottered on his high shoes when he moved to stand next to Felicity. In fact, he wobbled while standing still. I snapped a couple of photos and had Dolly join them. Dolly reached up from her not quite five feet height and held her ax over Stanley’s head in a threatening pose and I snapped some more.

  I noticed a flash from behind me, but when I turned there was no one there. Someone else had been taking pictures but quickly disappeared.

  “So, Mrs. Frankenstein, is everybody here?” I could hear music, voices and laughter coming from the living room. I turned in that direction and found that, true to her word, Felicity had used subtle lighting for the evening.

  “People are still showing up, but most of them are here. Come with me and I’ll introduce you around.” Felicity stepped between Pete and me and took our arms, guiding us to the party. Stanley took Dolly’s arm and they joined us.

  Before we reached the room we heard a high-pitched scream that sent a shiver scurrying down my spine.

  “Pete!”

  “I know.”

  We took off running, with Mr. and Mrs. Frankenstein’s Monsters tripping along behind us, and Dolly bringing up the rear.

  “Who screamed?” Felicity yelled, quickly taking in the room.

  “That would be me.” A tall blonde wearing a Marilyn Monroe costume was red-faced. “Sorry. Jolly snuck up behind me and scared me.”

  Felicity sighed, Dolly patted her chest and Stanley tripped, catching himself on the edge of the couch.

  I heard thunder, and it sounded like it was moving closer.

  Felicity introduced us to Traci Marks, the Marilyn Monroe of the evening. Traci gave Dolly a hug, letting the old woman know she remembered her.

  Turning to a tall ghoul who slightly resembled a zombie, she introduced us to Jolly Wade who snapped a picture and blinded all of us.

  “So you’re the photographer Felicity told me about.” I blinked several times.

  He grinned and showed teeth that had been yellowed. I wondered how he’d done that but didn’t want to ask just in case it was real.

  I heard a woman behind me say, “Traci should sue that jerk! He could have given her a heart attack.”

  “Don’t tell me,” I whispered to Felicity. “Mavis Brewer, the Lawsuit Queen?”

  “Good call,” she whispered back, turning to a short and rather round witch.

  “Mavis dear, bring Hamilton with you and come meet Sandi Webster and Pete Goldberg, friends of mine.”

  Hamilton Stewart, the agent, looked like he’d rather be anywhere else but a costume party. He was dressed to look like Sherlock Holmes, and he kept pulling at his collar.

  A sniffing sound came out of Mavis, apparently intended as a greeting. She quickly turned back to Hamilton.

  We wandered around the room after that and introduced ourselves to people while Felicity and Stanley greeted incoming guests.

  We met Jason Redman, the man who’d painted Felicity’s portrait. He was aloof, while not quite reaching the snob level. I complimented his work and he softened only slightly.

  We also met a few models whom I thought I recognized, a B-movie actor whose face looked slightly familiar, another agent and an author who wrote horror stories. The author introduced me to another author who wrote mysteries. I hadn’t heard of either one of them but told them I’d be sure to look for their books at the bookstore. The mystery writer was a small and slightly wrinkled blonde who laughed at everything she heard. I wondered if she might be tipsy.

  The actor, Joshua King, arrived and without greeting anyone plopped on the couch with a strong drink.

  Felicity grabbed my arm and pulled me over to the couch. “Joshua, this is my friend, Sandi. She’s a private eye.”

  “Oh yeah?” He didn’t sound impressed, but he did flash me a smile.

  “No, she actually is a private investigator. I thought you should meet her in case, well… In case Purity gives you any trouble.”

  He turned his gaze on me and studied my face. “Are you any good?”

  “I – ”

  “She’s the best,” Felicity interrupted. “And that Bogey you see talking to Hamilton is her partner.”

  She turned to me. “Give him your business card.”

  I whipped one out of my purse and handed it to him. I wouldn’t mind working for this guy. He was almost too beautiful for a man; tall, tan, slightly curly hair and piercing blue/gray eyes ringed with thick, black lashes. His full lips had accentuated his too white teeth when we’d been introduced.

  “So where’s your costume?” Felicity asked.

  “I came as an actor.” His expression was sullen. “Sorry, Fel, but Purity and I had a run-in earlier and I didn’t have time to change.”

  Pete walked over and handed me a drink, introducing himself to Joshua.

  About that time Pamela made her entrance and everyone started whispering, wondering who she was. She was dressed as a genie who’d just vacated her little bottle, and all I could do was gape. She was gorgeous. Her ill-fitting waitress uniform had hidden a figure that some women paid thousands of dollars to emulate. She was a knockout. Seeing her relaxed and wearing make-up made me realize she was younger than I’d thought. No more than thirty-five, tops.

  I grabbed Felicity’s arm. “You fixed her up, didn’t you?”

  Looking pleased, my friend nodded. “I knew she had potential, but I didn’t know how much. She’s younger than we thought, too, and now she looks her age.”

  “Pete, quit drooling and close your mouth.” I nudged him with my elbow.

  I noticed the agents in the room were watching Pamela with lust in their beady little eyes. Were they thinking of a promising career change for Pamela or a promising romp on the casting couch? Hmm. I wondered if that old cliché was even true.

  “Pamela, come meet everyone.” Dolly pulled her into the room, looking impressed. “My, but you clean up nicely. Oops. I meant that as a compliment.”

  Pamela laughed. “I know, Dolly, and thank you.”

  I watched as Dolly and Pamela made the rounds, shaking hands and enjoying themselves. I also watched as the men leered and the women clucked their tongues. Pamela was competition they hadn’t anticipated.

  Joshua King didn’t waste much time before introducing himself to Pamela. He appeared to be captivated by this sweet, down-to-earth waitress, not that her looks had anything to do with it. Yeah, right. I watched from across the room as he settled her on the couch and sat down next to her. Pamela leaned in toward him and they began talking, looking quite taken with each other.

  The storm had moved in and lightning brightened the softly lit room with big booms accentuating the gloominess. The lights flickered off and on again.

  And at ten o’clock the first of many bombs dropped.

  Stanley approached me and spoke
softly. “Sandi, I just saw Humphrey Bogart out in the yard.” His eyes were turned to Pete. “It wasn’t Pete, either.”

  “I’ll check it out.” I motioned Pete over and told him he needed to go outside with me.

  Before we could make it out of the door, a tall, slender woman wearing lavender and white workout clothes stomped into the house, just about knocking me over, her long red hair bouncing up and down. She was Bomb Number Two. Her hands were balled into fists and a vein in her neck stood out. She had long dark streaks on her cheeks left by running mascara. She had a voice that could compete with the scream of a fire alarm.

  Her shrill words reached across the room. “Joshua King, you son-of-a-bitch, what the hell do you think you’re doing!” It wasn’t a question, but an accusation.

  Chapter Six

  A screaming match ensued as an enraged Purity Patton stormed over to the couch, hands fanning the air, and began berating Joshua.

  Perfect timing. There was a flash of lightning and thunder pounded overhead. The lights flicked off and back on again.

  “I haven’t been gone for two hours and you’ve already found yourself a new woman?” Her cheeks were bright red, making the mascara on her cheeks look like angry, black stripes. Her face reminded me of a mask. She ran her hands through her hair, and when she pulled them away, her hair stayed on end. Too much hair spray? This woman didn’t even need a costume to look scary.

  “Anything would be an improvement over you,” Joshua yelled, jumping off the couch.

  Looking hurt, Pamela stood up and moved to stand by Dolly, who reached up to pat Pamela’s arm.

  Joshua saw what his words had done to Pamela and closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded, Pamela.”

  His big mistake had been in closing his eyes, even for a second. Purity was a relatively tall woman, maybe five nine, and looked like she probably worked out. She threw a right cross that knocked him silly. Her expression looked like she’d even surprised herself.

  There was a collective gasp around the room.

  Lights kept flashing and I realized that Jolly was snapping pictures. His yellow teeth flashed, showing that he was enjoying the whole scene. My peripheral vision told me someone else was snapping shots, too.

  Before Joshua could respond to Purity’s attack, Felicity, Stanley, Pete and I jumped in and grabbed her arms and anything else we could hold on to.

  Pamela gave Purity a dark look on her way to Joshua’s side. Joshua looked embarrassed as he struggled to stand up.

  “Purity Patton, you’re not welcome in my house. You weren’t invited to this party and you’d better leave right now, or I’m calling the police.” Felicity was furious and her pale, made-up complexion suddenly had color.

  “And she does mean right now.” Stanley began pulling Purity toward the front door.

  “I’m leaving.” She turned to Joshua. “But you haven’t heard the last of me, pal. You won’t have a cent left by the time I’m through with you. And your new girlfriend had better watch out, too.”

  Jason Redman had moved closer to watch the fireworks, inadvertently stepping in Purity’s path. She shoved him out of the way. He fell and she stepped on his hand, causing him to yelp in pain.

  “Shut up, you little wimp. You’re a lousy painter anyway.”

  He stood up, holding his right hand, fingers curled, away from the maniacal Purity.

  “And Jolly, if I see any of those pictures in even one of the tabloids, you’re history.”

  “I’m shaking.” Jolly flashed a yellow grin at her.

  “Ugh. That’s disgusting. Don’t you ever brush your teeth?” Purity turned her back on the photographer.

  Jolly stuck his tongue out at Purity’s back, which for some reason cracked me up. I had to hold back a nervous giggle, not wanting her to turn on me.

  Stanley stepped back and stumbled again, grabbing the back of a chair for support. Those thick-soled shoes hadn’t been a good idea.

  “Joshua, you’d better sue her before she gets you first, if you know what I mean,” Mavis said, jabbing her finger against Joshua’s chest. “I have an attorney on retainer who – ”

  He pushed her hand away. “Shut up, Mavis. You and your attorney can both take a flying leap, if you know what I mean. Mind your own business.”

  Purity took a threatening step back into the room and toward Mavis. “Shut up you old crow!”

  “You’re maligning me and I’ll sue you. Both of you.” Mavis took a big gulp of her drink. “Don’t malign me. I don’t like that.” She sounded petulant and turned back to Hamilton in a hurry.

  “I said it’s time to leave.” Stanley gripped Purity’s arm and led her toward the front door.

  “Okay, okay.” She tried to shake off his hand, but he wouldn’t let go, continuing to usher her out of the house. Purity stomped out the door yelling insults over her shoulder.

  “You’ll all be sorry, I promise you!”

  “The storm has passed, so we can all get back to our party,” Stanley said in a masterful tone of voice. He closed the door with a slam. There was a flash of light and a loud boom. “At least one storm has passed.” He glanced out the window.

  “Is that our Stanley?” I glanced at Pete. “I mean our Stanley who’s a klutz and kind of skittish about confrontations? Did he actually make that woman leave?”

  Pete looked at Stanley and saluted him. “What a guy.”

  “That’s my guy,” Felicity said proudly, her color returning to the pale shade of gray that indicated death.

  The doorbell rang and she excused herself to answer it.

  I turned to Pete. “Stanley said he saw another Bogey out in the yard. Would you two check it out?”

  He nodded. He and Stanley headed for the front door, but stopped to let Sharon Stone, the reporter, pass them.

  Poor Stanley finally toppled off his thick-soled shoes and couldn’t catch himself. Pete didn’t help him up and watched out the door while Stanley retained his dignity and pulled himself up.

  Sharon glanced at Pete and back outside. “I see we have two Bogey’s here. Hi Sandi. Hey, was that Purity Patton who went storming out of here?” She’d acknowledged me as an afterthought, glancing into the living room. “Ohhh, and that looks like Jason – ”

  “Hello Sharon. Too bad. You just missed your big story. I’d like to say it’s nice to see you, but…” I let my thought wander off and left her to draw her own conclusions about what I was thinking.

  In costume, and always the reporter, Sharon wore a hat with a card that said “Reporter” stuck in the band, along with a large feather. She had an old-fashioned camera slung over her shoulder and carried a pad of paper and a pencil.

  “Oh, come on. I’m not here to bug you about anything. This is a party, and I’m here to enjoy myself and cover it for the newspaper.”

  “Okay, truce. Enjoy away.”

  Jolly walked up and blinded Sharon when he snapped her picture. I thought it served her right.

  “I forgot about the Spook Room.” Felicity patted my arm.

  She turned to the people gathered in the living room. “Everyone? It’s getting crowded in here and I want to let you know that the library is set up for the party, too. In fact, I have a special treat in a little room off the library.”

  “What kind of treat?” Mavis asked suspiciously.

  Felicity sighed, having picked up my deep breath habit. “No questions. Just go check it out. And no lawsuits, Mavis. Don’t try to say I scared you. After all, this is Halloween, and you’ve been forewarned.”

  “Well, I – ”

  “Yeah, yeah, you’d never think of doing such a thing,” Hamilton said. He led Mavis across the room, while she sputtered, and ordered himself another drink at the bar.

  The living room had become crowded and a few people moved off to the library to see the Spook Room. I was a little disappointed because when they returned, they didn’t seem all that impressed. No imagination.

&nbs
p; “That was silly, but fun.” Traci Marks patted Felicity on the back. “Loved the skeleton. It is getting late though, and I’ve got to work early tomorrow. I’d better be going.”

  “Hey! Something’s going on out in the front yard. Looks like a fire.” I didn’t see who was talking, but I glanced up and saw flames.

  Pete and I ran out together, with the rest of the group behind us. The scarecrow was burning.

  “Now why would someone do that?” Pete picked up the hose and calmly began to douse the flames.

  “It’s Halloween.” That seemed to say it all. I thought.

  “It’s better than a burning bag of, uh, poop on the porch.” Traci Marks was fanning her face, watching the fire. “I once… Well, not me personally, but I know someone who… Oh, never mind.”

  Rain began to fall as another lightning strike caught our attention. It was close and the thunder boomed almost immediately.

  We hurried back to the house where everyone began saying their good-byes. The fire and the storm seemed to be a signal to everyone that it was time to leave.

  “Great party, Fel. You sure do provide some interesting entertainment.” Hamilton winked at her.

  “Don’t bother to invite me next year.” Mavis sneered at my friend while patting her chest. Was she trying to say her heart couldn’t take Felicity’s entertainment? She stopped patting, a look of surprise on her face.

  “I seem to have lost the necklace I was wearing. It’s quite valuable and I’m not leaving without it. It has a pendant hanging from a heavy chain.”

  She was so loud that everyone heard her and started searching for the lost pendant.

  “Do you remember when you last knew it was there?” I asked. “I don’t recall seeing it.” I was lying. It was one of the most gaudy necklaces I’d ever seen. I wouldn’t be caught dead in it, no matter how much it was worth.

  “I reached up and patted it not long before being frightened half to death by that stupid skeleton. And you couldn’t have missed that piece of art. It has a ruby the size of Texas.” She sounded indignant that I’d missed her precious jewelry.