by Paige Hill
On the other hand, Aiden is incredibly generous and thoughtful. How can one man be both an arrogant bastard and a generous soul? The problem is that he only sees one of those men in the mirror. And the harder he looks, the foggier it gets.
“What are you going to do about it?” Teagan asks, as I do what I swore to myself I wasn’t going to do.
I ignore her question and I pull my phone out to type the message.
Celeste: I’m not your charity case, Aiden. I’m grateful for you helping me when I needed it, but I will not have this debt hanging between us.
Almost immediately I follow up with,
Celeste: But, thank you.
It takes only a few seconds for him to reply. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t pleasantries considering I basically ghosted him. But I did what I had to do for me.
Aiden: Babe, you’re a lot of things, but a charity case ain’t one of them. Unless you plan to nap on that baby bouncer, your argument is invalid.
Celeste: Aiden.
Aiden: Yes?
Celeste: You can’t keep doing this. I don’t want you to.
Aiden: Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.
That bastard just quoted Gone with the Wind.
“You two are stressing me out,” Teagan says, rolling her eyes playfully as she reads over my shoulder. “Anyway, I better get going.”
She leans over to hug me, something she has only recently started to do. “He’s a good man, Celeste. He just needs to learn how to polish his edges.”
Stepping back from the hug, I smile, “Some could say the same about me.”
She walks to the door but stops, turning to face me one more time. “You need to talk to him.”
I start to get defensive, but she throws a hand up, halting me. “I’m not saying this has to be a thing. I’m telling you that you’re missing out on a pretty fantastic friendship by not reaching out and clearing the air. That said, I’m still working on a spell to make his junk fall off.”
This entire situation weighs heavily on me, but her words lighten the load just a little as I feel my face pull into a grin.
Chapter Twenty-One
Aiden
O’Connor must have knocked some literal sense into me. I forgot how easy it is for grief to pull you under and rob you of the most basic privileges. It’s suffocating.
My first day back at work after what I am referring to as my week of self-pity, Ramos pulled me onto the mats. We sparred until I could no longer stand. Somehow that grumpy bastard knew exactly what I needed to screw my head back on.
I still haven’t told anyone about Alex’s confession. At least the dumbass did one thing right, he bargained with his employer to have security watch his family. Alvarez hasn’t figured out his true identity yet, but it’s only a matter of time.
The downside of coming back to work is the paperwork. Alex has been feeding me copious amounts of usable evidence, but I’ve neglected filing it for far too long and it’s come back to bite me in the ass.
The other problem with paperwork—It allows far too much time for me to be alone with my thoughts. My head is not a great place to be right now. Severing contact with Celeste has given me time to assess the situation. I now realize I can never be the man she needs, or deserves. Stepping away from her is the only way to ensure the darkness that surrounds me doesn’t engulf her too.
With any other woman, I could easily have a physical relationship and leave it at that. But with Celeste, I know just sex will never be enough. I can’t take only part of her. With Celeste, it’s all or nothing.
For her sake, I’m forced to settle for nothing.
I’m damaged goods—too emotionally fucked up to be in a healthy relationship. It’s just easier this way. If I care about her at all, the best thing I can do is walk away.
“You headed out of town?” Declan questions as I shut my computer down.
“Yeah, got some stuff I need to take care of back home.”
The sharp-edged blade of guilt digs deeper into my side.
“Just be careful, man. Last thing you need is to get tangled up in her web again.” The lines around his eyes are filled with worry. While I do appreciate that he cares, I’m not a lovestruck teenage boy.
“This isn’t about her.”
Getting out of the car, I groan as I stretch my legs. I forgot how long the damn drive is from Miami to Savannah.
Fearing I didn’t have time to waste, I drove straight through, only stopping to piss. I love my car, but it can suck for my large frame to be folded into it for long periods.
The night air is slightly chillier here than in Miami, and I shiver slightly. But, to be honest, I don’t know if I’m really cold, or if the chill was an involuntary reflex triggered by the building before me.
I certainly wouldn’t call it a home.
I hate that I’ve allowed my mother to rob me of the fond memories in my childhood home. Given the circumstances, I had a great childhood. My father made sure of that. But everything about this house has been tainted by memories of her. More specifically, the times she should have been there and wasn’t.
I didn’t tell dad I was coming, so showing up unannounced at midnight is going to be quite a surprise. Normally, I‘d just walk in. I still have a key. But I don’t want to give the old man a heart attack.
I ring the doorbell a couple of times, knowing he’s a hard sleeper. Finally, the speaker crackles to life and it feels like the world just got a little lighter.
“Hello, can I help you?” His voice is heavy with sleep.
“It’s me, dad.”
“Aiden? Come in, come in,” he says in a rush.
I hear the locks open and there he is, beaming at me with pride. I can’t think of a single time my father looked at me any other way. Even when I was being a little shit, his love was evident. My father and I have identical features, with the exception of my eyes. Those are all my mothers. People used to joke that I was his mini me. That is until the tenth grade and I outgrew him.
“Is everything alright, son?”
“Yeah, Pop.” I assure him, leaning in for a hug.
“I’ve missed you, boy,” He pats my back heavily. “You need to come home more often.”
“I’ve missed you, too. I promise I’ll make more time to visit. I’m actually here because Mr. Montgomery is sick. They’ve placed him on hospice.”
“Charles?” He clarifies.
“Yes, sir.”
He comes in for another hug. “I’m so sorry, son. I know he means a lot to you. He’s a good man.”
“He is,” I agree. “I just wanted to make peace before it was too late.”
“Of course. It’s late, let’s get you situated, and you can go over there first thing in the morning.”
“Hello, can I help you, sir?” the polite older woman asks with a smile as she straightens the apron on her uniform.
“I’m here to see Charles Montgomery.” I reach out, offering my hand.
“What’s your name? I’ll check with the nurse.”
“Aiden Briggs, ma’am.” It doesn’t take long for my roots to seep through.
“I’m Millie.” Her small, delicate fingers wrap around mine. “Give me just a moment.” She saunters off, only to return less than a minute later.
“Mr. Briggs, if you’ll follow me, Mr. Montgomery wishes to see you.”
I follow Millie through the ornate hallways, century-old artworks line the walls. I’m just as familiar with these halls as I am the ones in my childhood house. I spent most of my teen years sneaking around these halls.
We come to a partially closed door before she stops.
“He’s just through there. Can I get you anything, Mr. Briggs?”
“No, ma’am. I’m fine.”
She nods before heading back up the hall in the direction we came. I take a moment to compose myself before pushing the door open and stepping inside.
“Well, I’ll be damned. It is you.” His voice is rou
gh like sandpaper.
I take in his frail appearance and my chest constricts. Charles Montgomery was one of the strongest men I knew. My father and he were the men I looked up to. The kind of men I hoped to be.
“Sir,” I nod, unsure of what to say.
“Sit down, boy. It’s been ages—you aren’t leaving anytime soon.”
“It’s good to see you, sir. I’m sorry it’s been so long. It was unfair of me.” I look at my hands, unable to force myself to look him in the eye.
“Knock that shit off before I whack you with my cane.” My face jerks toward his, confused at his words. “You had every reason to walk away. I probably would have too. Sometimes we have to do what’s right for us, even if it means distancing ourselves from the ones we love. You needed to heal, and you couldn’t do that surrounded by ghosts of the past.”
Hot tears well at the edges of my eye lids, but I don’t dare let them fall. I will not let him see me fall apart when it could be the last time I ever see him.
“I’m glad you’re here, Aiden. There is something I need to discuss with you. I assume Gwen paid you a visit?”
“Yes, sir.”
“That figures,” he grumbles, “but, I’m glad you’re here nonetheless.”
“Does it bother you that she came to see me?” I ask, worried about his response.
“Only because I know she did it for selfish reasons. That child never does anything out of the kindness of her heart.” He lets out an exasperated sigh, but continues. “I made you the beneficiary to the majority of her inheritance.”
His bloodshot eyes stare into mine for several moments, waiting for me to react. He bursts into a coughing fit, and my heart sinks. Reaching for the cup of water next to the bed, I place the straw in his mouth. After he’s taken several hearty sips and composed himself, he continues.
“Of course, I want wants best for Gwennie. She’s my only grandchild. But I failed her because I didn’t step in when my son spoiled her. I failed to teach him how to be a decent father.” The resignation in his voice guts me.
“Why me?” I ask, hoping it doesn’t come across ungrateful.
“I know you don’t need the money, son. I don’t care if you keep it or donate it. I just can’t stand knowing that she’s going to party away everything I worked my entire life for. She’s an entitled person and it’s time she learns. I should have done it years ago, but watching yourself deteriorate as the cancer eats away at your cells, while everyone else remains the same… It puts things into perspective.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t love her the way I should have,” I murmur as the same guilt I’ve felt for six years threatens to overwhelm me again.
“Boy, you gave her much more than she earned. She didn’t appreciate what she had. That’s on her, not you. I don’t believe she would have made you happy.” His honesty digs the knife deeper instead of relieving the pain as it should have. I should have never let what happened drag me away from this man.
“You’re going to leave her with nothing?” I question, having no idea why I even care.
“Of course not. She isn’t equipped to take care of herself. I just intend to make her lifestyle harder to maintain. Hopefully she will learn to appreciate things. She has a trust set up guaranteed to pay out ten grand a month, so long as she maintains a steady job. Doesn’t matter what that job is as long as it’s honest.”
“Does she know?”
He nods slowly, and everything suddenly makes perfect sense.
“You’re a good man, Aiden. Don’t let the evil in this world pull you to hell. Live every day with purpose and be the man our girl would be proud of. Our days are numbered, and it shouldn’t matter if you have one or thirty thousand; you’re still not broke.”
His words settle deep within my bones. I want to be that man. I need to be that man. But I’m not sure I’m capable.
I stay until the sun starts to set over the horizon and his exhausted body can no longer keep his eyes open.
We talk about life, love, the future. All the things he wishes for me. And all things I’m not sure I can grasp without breaking.
My thoughts, just as they have so many times recently, revert to Celeste. But I know I can’t take that leap. With Celeste, it’s not about the jump. It’s about the fall. That slow descent into madness.
I won’t survive the crash.
I place a gentle kiss to the thin skin on his forehead before I make my exit.
“What am I supposed to do if I’m afraid of the fall?” I whisper into the silent room, wishing like hell someone had the answer.
I’m halfway to the door when the shrill sound of my phone echoes through the empty halls.
Answering it before someone else bothers to talk to me, I expand my strides, practically running for the door.
“Briggs,” I grumble reaching for the door knob.
“We got trouble,” Erin announces in greeting and I have to move the phone a few inches from my ear because her voice echoes from the speaker.
“What now?” Could the hits stop coming?
“Alvarez put a price on Alex’s head.” She sounds worried.
“We expected that, we took precautions.”
“Briggs, it’s half a million dollars.”
My end of the line falls silent as I process the implications.
“Shit,” I remark. “What do we know about the kind of attention it’s drawn?”
“Right now, I have no clue. We have one tool in our belt, though. He knows him as Alex Fernandez, not Martinez.”
“Do what you can to run with that. I don’t give a shit if you have to photoshop his face on a fucking igloo and blast it on social media. Bury it all.”
Her tone softens slightly, and it grates on my nerves. “I know he’s Celeste’s brother and all, but do we know for sure that we can trust him?”
“I don’t trust anyone,” I declare. “Just do it.”
“Ay, ay, Captain,” she deadpans, disconnecting the call. I’m going to pay for being a dick to her. She’s already planning something, I guarantee it.
Something moves in my peripheral.
“What the hell do you want?” I snap, seeing a small part of Gwen’s hair poking out from behind a six-foot-tall clay vase.
“You’re just going to let him leave me with nothing? I’m his family! I’m the one with his blood!” She seethes, moving into the light.
“Keep your voice down and stop being so damn dramatic.” I grit through clinched teeth, keeping the delicate grasp on my emotions. Mr. Montgomery’s words left me raw.
“How am I supposed to live, Aiden?” She’s practically wailing.
“Do you hear yourself? As long as you keep a job, like the rest of the world, your trust pays out ten grand a month. There are so many people that would be thankful just to have a job, not to mention the added money. It’s more than enough to live on.”
“I can’t believe he expects me to stoop so low,” her face pinches like she smelled something bad.
I am done with this conversation.
“Good luck,” I snap, my words dripping with condescension.
I can’t wait to get the hell out of Georgia. If I could convince dad to retire in sunny Florida with all the other old cronies, I’d never have a reason to step foot in this place again.
“You’re leaving?” she shrieks as I continue down the grand steps to my car.
She saddles up next to me, hugging my left arm. “Maybe you can stay an extra day or two. You know, we can catch up and talk and stuff.” It’s a last-ditch effort to sink her greedy claws into me.
I’d rather bite a cyanide capsule than spend another minute in her presence. I stare at her for a few seconds like she’s suddenly grown antenna.
“Are you using again?” I ask in an accusatory tone.
“No!” she snaps taking a much-needed step back. “You know I’ve been clean for years.”
“I don’t know a damn thing about you,” I grit through clenched teeth. I need to ge
t out of here before the tight grip I have on my control slips. When it comes to Gwen, my temper terrifies me.
“She can never compete with our history, Aiden,” she says to my retreating back.
Not bothering to face her, I grab the heavy wooden door and reply, “She doesn’t have to.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Aiden
Two months later…
Two months of barbeques, birthday parties, and long nights with mutual friends. Two months of…
Mother. Fucking. Torture.
Celeste hates me, probably even more than her. I thought keeping my distance would be easy. I thought I could fuck her and move on, like I always have. But for some reason, I can’t. And it pisses me off. Celeste is exactly what I don’t need. The one thing I need to stay away from. What any man like me should stay away from, if he knew what was good for him.
I want to be happy for Declan. He’s finally found a woman who makes him happy. Today they celebrate what they have, and I love Teagan, she’s great. But I’ve been on that side of the fence and it isn’t always that bullshit bliss that people feed you. It’s only a matter of time before one of them fucks up. Don’t get me wrong, I hope it doesn’t happen, but I’m a realist. However, I refuse to let my pessimism ruin their big day.
The ceremony goes beautifully, and while she goes out of her way to avoid me, my eyes are drawn to her. Knowing what’s best for me, I ignore my dick’s constant reminders of what she feels like.
Until the reception.
Let’s face it. The wedding is being held at my beach house, I’m partaking in a convention I don’t believe in while being forced to watch the one woman I’m trying to avoid, flirt with Adams. The one asshole on the force who I can’t stand. Needless to say, I’m drunk.
Laughter directs my attention back to the table across the dance floor. Fucktard leans in, whispering something in her ear, and she laughs again. It’s not a gentle, polite laugh, but rather one born from enjoyment. And it pisses me off. He doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near her.