“No!” Felipe spun around to face him. “I don’t want to see you right now. I don’t want to see anybody. Merry fucking Christmas and happy goddamn New Year.”
Trask’s stomach clenched as Felipe slid into his car and slammed that door as well. He shoved his hands in his pockets and started walking toward Felipe’s car. He’d talk him into coming inside, soothe his hurt, and then Felipe would see the sense in slowing down. He’d taken no more than a few steps before Felipe pulled off, going faster than what Trask thought was reasonable.
Trask swore and stared after him, tempted to follow, but that just might make Felipe speed more in the mood he was in. Trask wasn’t about to involve the imp in an accident. What a shitty night all around. He’d better at least text Trask when he got home to let him know he’d made it safely.
Scowling, Trask went up to his own apartment. He’d give Felipe some time to calm down. Then maybe the man might be willing to listen to reason. And they’d also have a long conversation about Felipe’s habit of driving off whenever he heard something he didn’t want to instead of dealing with it. That was not the way to handle things. It drove Trask nuts that he had to wait for a few days for Felipe to calm down so they could talk.
As Trask opened the door, an anxious Sophie and Lady crowded toward him, seeking reassurance. Trask sat heavily on his bed and comforted himself with comforting them. Well, Felipe wouldn’t get far. Not without his Lady. Which meant he would be back as soon as he realized he didn’t have her, and then they could talk.
Maybe in the back of his mind, he was seeing Felipe in that little house. That didn’t mean he was ready to ask him to live together. And it didn’t mean he never would. Just one step at a damned time. He hadn’t even bought the place yet.
Lady’s ears perked up and she headed toward the door, her tail madly waving. That could only mean one thing. Trask opened the door just as Felipe lifted his hand to knock. “I really need to give you a key, imp.”
Shock flickered across Felipe’s expressive face. His eyes glittered with tears, and his mouth was set in a mutinous, angry line. “What?”
Trask pulled him close and kissed the top of his head. “I may not be in the same place as you are, Felipe, but we are on the same journey. Stay with me. Please stay.”
Felipe’s arms came around him in a fierce hug. “You make me so mad sometimes, and then you turn around and say something like this and it’s hard to stay mad. It’s irritating.”
Trask shut the door and held him closer. “I’m sure you’ll remember.”
Felipe lifted his head and gave Trask a challenging look. “I love you.”
Trask brushed the back of his fingers across Felipe’s cheek. “I know, I do too. I know it right here.” He tapped his fist against his chest.
The smile that flitted across Felipe’s face was the only answer Trask ever needed.
Chapter Thirty-Two
“IT IS Christmas Eve. What the fuck are we doing hanging out at a coffee shop?” Felipe demanded, staring out at the rain-drenched streets of DC. A warm front had come through, completely killing his hopes for a white Christmas. Not that it ever happened, but a man could dream. Now the view from the window completely suited his dour mood.
“Avoiding our families,” Abby said with a sigh, stirring her tea with an equally moody expression. “Maybe if we elope, we’ll have an excuse to not return for a while.”
“That’s a thought.” Felipe folded his arms on the table and set his chin on them. This coffee shop was nothing like the one he’d been at for his first date with Trask, but the scents and sounds reminded him of the man with every whiff of roasted beans and clink of a spoon against glassware. It didn’t help that thinking of his family twisted him with guilt and lingering anger. He’d never not been home for pre-Christmas festivities. They were probably all getting ready for church right now and would leave a spot in the pew empty just in case he decided to show. “Think any of them would buy it?”
“Dad would be too overcome with horror to even contemplate the likelihood of that.” Abby gave him a sad smile. “The thought of his only daughter running off with a mixed-race son of immigrants, come on, you’ve met the man.”
Yeah, Felipe had recognized him for being a condescending fuck even as a kid. He caught Abby’s fingers and gave them a squeeze. “Don’t rub this in my face, but I really don’t miss squabbling with you.”
Abby’s smile brightened, and her dimples appeared for the first time that day. “You realize that if we’d figured this out in high school, we could’ve conquered the world?”
“I was too much of a little shit in high school to make nice, and you had your nose too far in the air.” Felipe shrugged and drained the last of his latte.
“True. Does that mean you’re going to stop calling me Duchess now?”
Felipe smiled and leaned across to kiss her forehead. “You’ll always be Duchess to me. Tell your dad to stop trying to hook you up with his friends’ sons. You deserve more than those daddy-boy snots.”
Abby shook her head, resigned. “He isn’t going to listen. He thinks he knows how I should live my life. Which is quitting this costume business, which is fine for a hobby, but if I continue it on the side, I should drop the cons because I’m better than that. Then I should go back to work for Albion Realty because business is booming in good old Chuck County. And Mr. Raley’s son has followed him into banking and he’s thinking of running for county commissioner in a few years and we could be the next power couple.”
“He doesn’t know you at all, does he?” Felipe asked softly. It made his own troubles seem piddly in comparison. His family might annoy him, and he might still be pissed at his lolo, but at least they understood him. They wanted to protect him. They didn’t want to further their own ambitions at Felipe’s expense. And they loved him, even his lolo.
“He never has.” Abby’s mouth turned down again.
It made Felipe appreciate his family even more. He knew that if he showed up, even after all the strain and worry these last couple of weeks, he’d be welcomed. Hell, Mariana would be just devastated if he didn’t show, and the thought of the disappointment in her eyes had Felipe getting up from the table. “Come home with me. You know you’re always welcome.”
Abby hesitated, staring down at her mug of tea, and then she shook her head. “Thanks for the offer, but I think I’d be pretty terrible company over the holidays.”
Felipe was a bastard for not realizing how desperately lonely she was all these years. “There’s a pretty awesome guy in Richmond who’s probably all alone tonight too. You should go be bosom buddies with him so I know you’re both not alone.”
Abby tipped her head back to smile at him, though tears shimmered in her eyes. “You’d better make up with him or I just might scoop him up.”
Felipe made a sound of frustration. “He has made it clear that he doesn’t want anything to do with my family for the holidays.” Which Felipe couldn’t blame him for. On the other hand, Trask probably had no idea how tight families could disagree and still manage to be together at times like this because that’s what families did. They bitched at each other, then rallied around. “And he wants me to back off a bit.”
And Felipe was trying to give him space, trying not to nag him into coming or press him for more of a commitment than Trask already had. He needed to remember who he was dealing with. Trask moved slow. He’d just admitted to loving Felipe, though he actually hadn’t said the words. He had to hold on to that warm feeling.
“Just don’t back off for too long.” Abby squeezed his hand, then settled herself deeper among the cushions.
“I promise, but only if you make a promise in return.” Felipe shrugged into his jacket and tried not to think about the rain outside instead of snow. “Come by later. If you don’t want company, you can hang out with Lady until you do, but don’t be at home alone, okay? I can’t bear two of you being miserable.”
“What am I going to do when you move to Richmond?”
Abby asked with a shake of her head. “I would miss these weekly chats at the coffee shops. Online is cool. In person is better.”
“That remains to be seen.” Felipe scowled at the rain-lashed windows. Then an idea struck him. “Though if I did, you should come with me. The art scene is kickass, seriously underrated. I think we’d actually do better there than in DC. Besides, you’d be almost two hours away from your family. That would be a good buffer.”
“I never really thought of that. It’s not that I don’t love them and they don’t love me. It’s just we want wildly different things, and at this point, separation might be the best thing. Maybe then we’d come to understand and appreciate each other.” Abby nudged him away from the table. “Go make nice with your family. Then you’ll feel a little better. When you feel a little better, you’ll be up to going to stage a scene at Trask’s and reminding him exactly why he loves you.”
“Yeah….” Felipe didn’t know what the hell to do about Trask Briscoe. It was like he was completely afraid to risk it all. He’d only engage his heart so far, and then it was all stop. And he didn’t think doing a full-out assault and fighting for him would work this time. It would only drive Trask further away. So he was trying something different and entirely alien to his being and exercising a little patience. Trask wanted some space, a little time to think, so Felipe would give it to him… up to a point. There was only so much a man could take.
“Love you, Duchess. Merry Christmas.” Felipe kissed the top of her head and slipped the little present he’d made for her into her bag. “You and Morris, you’re the best friends a guy could have. You always make me feel better.”
“Love you too, Short Round.” Abby’s lips widened into a warm smile. “I’ll be around tomorrow for dessert, okay? Merry Christmas.”
Felipe ducked his head as he went outside and shoved his hands into his pockets, making his way rapidly toward the Metro stop on the corner. He hated to say it, but Trask might have been right. This separation had settled a few things in his mind. Living in his little apartment had been the right thing for him at the time. And he had loved it, but it was time to move on. Once school was over and he found a new job that wouldn’t make him scream with boredom, he’d look for his own place.
He and his family had to come to appreciate each other as adults. And that was a little difficult when he was still living upstairs, separate, but still at their beck and call.
The Metro was crowded with last-minute shoppers, but the numbers dwindled as they crossed the Maryland border. He checked his watch as he raced to his car. Well, he’d completely miss Mass, but maybe he could get home, get the coffee going, and lay out the desserts that Lola had made for the after-church celebration.
He searched in his bag for his keys, and his fingers encountered a small, hard package. Felipe peeked in and grinned at the present wrapped in whimsical silver-gilt paper. He and Abby were too much alike. He’d wait, savor the anticipation, and open it tomorrow.
The traffic had died down, and Felipe made good time as he tore down the road. His family would linger after church a bit, greeting friends and exchanging good wishes. That would buy him a little more time. The house was dark except for their Narnia lamppost, and Felipe hid his car around the back of the house.
The thought of seeing their faces, the surprise and happiness, made him grin as he let himself in. Lolo looked up from where he sat at the kitchen table, his weathered face even more lined than Felipe remembered. He stopped cold, looking at the old man warily. “Why aren’t you at church?”
Lolo’s brows drew together in a familiar glower. “Why aren’t you at church?”
Felipe threw up his hands and decided fuck it. This would give him the chance to say a few things to his grandfather before his family returned. He draped his jacket over the chair and went to start the coffee. “Because I wasn’t done sulking. Now I am. You?”
Lolo sighed, clasping his hands together on the table. “The thought of them being upset got to you, huh? You always did have a big heart.”
Felipe opened the cabinet door to pull down coffee cups and glanced at Lolo. “Maybe, a little. Dammit, it’s Christmas. I can’t be mad at them at Christmas.”
“How about me?” Lolo watched him with rheumy eyes. “You still going to be mad at me?”
Felipe set the saucers on the counter with a little more force than was necessary. His dad had been trying to give Trask a chance to prove himself. His mom, well, she was his mom and would be overprotective, and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it but show her that Trask made him happy. She’d come around. But the shit Lolo had pulled crossed a line. “You were rude, bordering on asshole, and I don’t think you’re sorry for it. So yeah I’m mad.”
“I called it like I see it. You do the same, Felipe, only with more curse words.” Lolo sighed and tapped the table with one long bony finger. “Sit down a moment. There are some things I need to say to you.”
Felipe pressed his lips together. He didn’t want to admit his grandfather had a point or consider that maybe he’d hurt the old man in return with his words. “I wanted to set up everything for when they came home.”
“This won’t take long, and I’ll help you.” Lolo regarded him steadily a moment. “Please, Felipe.”
Reluctantly, Felipe pulled out the chair and sat down. He couldn’t remember Lolo ever using that pleading tone with him. “I’m listening.”
Lolo nodded, staring down at his hands, gnarled from long years making his living as a fisherman, first in the Philippines and then here on the waterways around the Chesapeake Bay. “I don’t want you to think that I have any issues with you being gay, because I don’t. We all knew you were different since you were a little boy. You were more comfortable with your lola’s sewing basket than your dad’s tool belt. You never walked when you could prance. You were unapologetically you, and I loved you for it, for the confidence you’ve always had in being yourself.”
Felipe stared at his grandfather, at a complete loss for words. “I….” His throat tightened. “I never knew you felt that way.”
“Well, that’s on me. I should’ve told you. I should’ve told you that I’m proud of you more often. The thing is… this is a whole different generation. Your way of doing things is not our way of doing things. When I was a young man, you found a job and you stuck with it. And if there was something you wanted to do, like your costumes, you did it on the side, because providing a home and food for your family came first. I was completely against your mom going to nursing school, but we see how I lost that one. I have my opinions. They are bred into me, but you do have to live your own life. So do what you’re going to do and I’ll live with it. And you’ll have to understand that the thought of you quitting a stable government job to flit off chasing a dream makes me twitch because I worry about you. And I’ll probably make comments and they will be testy, but that doesn’t come from dislike of you. It comes because I don’t want to watch you go through hardship.”
“Okay.” Lolo had given Felipe a lot to process, and it made him look back at the years of contention between them differently. “Wow, I… I need to think this over.”
Felipe got up and flipped on the Christmas tree lights before moving on to the other decorations. He couldn’t think while sitting still. He had to do something. Lolo got up as well and laid out the coffee cups and desserts on the table. It seemed like all his life, Lolo had been the one he’d contended against. For Lola’s attention and love, to get his own voice out. They’d butted against each other, two feisty bastards who wanted to be right every time.
“I’m sorry I cussed at you in public,” Felipe said in a low voice. “I know you all are worried about me. But if you knew Trask the way I do, you’d understand. If you would just lay off the judgments for a bit. Have a few conversations with him, like real conversations. Granted, sometimes it takes him forever to warm up, but when he does, you’d see how smart and kind he is. Hell, he’s probably out doing some do-gooder thi
ng tonight instead of celebrating. If he hurts me, it won’t be out of carelessness. It’ll be because he’s too cautious.”
“The first time I saw your lola she struck me right here.” Lolo tapped his fist against his chest. “I was delivering fish to the market. She was angry at one of the men at the stalls, complaining about the freshness of some of the fish he was selling. She was seventeen, Felipe, as pretty then as she is now, and never one to be taken for a fool. So I offered her some of my catch and asked her to walk with me later.”
“She said yes and you went for your walk and fell in love?” Felipe asked, charmed by the romanticism of it.
Lolo chuckled and shook his head. “She was appalled I’d asked. Her father had money. I worked for every coin I had and found ways to make it stretch further. But the next time I saw her at the market, I gave her the same offer. My friends and family thought I was crazy to pursue her. Her friends encouraged her to keep me in my place, but I wore her down, and when I finally got that walk, I fell in love.”
And it had lasted over fifty years. Felipe wanted that for himself. He wanted that with Trask.
“When your mama met your dad they were both young, fresh out of school, and your mama had already won the argument to go to college. He was visiting the Philippines on some building project for his church. I raised some fierce objections to her seeing him too. I knew he’d take her away from me because I’d seen that look in her eyes when she was with him. I see that same look in your eyes when you’re with Trask. Our family, we fall hard and fast, and it sticks. So I’ll try to keep an open mind about this. I don’t want you pulling the same stunt that she did.”
Felipe snickered as he rejoined his grandfather at the table. “Don’t worry, Lolo. I won’t move halfway across the world, just to Richmond.” He pulled out his phone and quickly texted Trask. If it makes you feel better, I made up w/ my family. Wish you were here tho.
A Whole Latte Sass Page 29