“I guess I can live with that alternative.” Lolo smiled faintly, then cocked his head. “Do you hear that? Family’s home.”
Felipe looked toward the door, anticipation warming him. “You know, we’re going to totally blow their minds when they see us sitting here like this.”
Lolo shot him an impish grin. “It’ll do them good. Complacency’s the devil.”
Felipe’s phone pinged in return. Wish I was with you too. Been busy. Joe’s sick so I’m taking care of him. Working on a project is keeping me wrapped up. But I miss you, imp.
Damn the man for making Felipe want more than Trask was ready to give right now, but he could be patient. He would be patient. Because Trask mattered, and Felipe was not going to give up without one hell of a knockdown fight.
Chapter Thirty-Three
TRASK CAREFULLY fitted the drawer onto the new runner he’d made and tested it out. The drawer slid smoothly into place, and Trask smiled in satisfaction. That hadn’t been too bad of a job. The next step would be the cabinets. Then all he had to do was sand it down and apply the varnish and it would be done. He’d be able to give it to Felipe for the New Year.
He stood up, his knees aching from kneeling on the cold floor. Even though he’d laid a blanket down, he’d been at this for a while. Ryan’s portable heater didn’t do much more than take the bite out of the air.
Sophie scrambled to her feet, her tail already wagging as she barked. “I know, time to go out and let you run.” Trask stuffed his work gloves into his pocket. “I need to stretch my legs too. Shh, girl, it’s Christmas, we don’t need to alert the whole neighborhood.”
He opened the workshop door, and Sophie shot out to explore the fenced backyard from one end to the other. Trask shoved his hands in his pockets, his breath steaming the air. The rain that hit last night made the temperature drop to a raw, icy chill. He’d have to check in on Joe before he went home and make sure his walkways were resalted. He went by in the morning for a holiday hot chocolate and cleared the ice so his friend could get to the car safely. The last thing Joe needed was a broken hip. Not with winter just getting started and him getting over that bad cold.
Once the sun set, everything that had partially melted over the day would ice over again, and Trask doubted Joe would be leaving his grandkids until well after dinner. It made him wonder how Felipe was faring with those stairs of his. The thought of him racing down them the way he normally did was a little terrifying. He had faith that Donato had gone out first thing in the morning to take care of the outside.
He suspected he might have a lot in common with Felipe’s father. The man had called to apologize after that fiasco of a dinner. The conversation had been short but appreciated. Then they had texted a few times as Donato followed the progress of Felipe’s table and offered a few suggestions.
Trask whistled sharply as Sophie began to dig near the fence. “Sophie.” He waited until he had her attention. “No. Come on, let’s go for a walk before you get into trouble. No digging.” Especially in someone else’s backyard.
The deck door opened, and Trask stifled a groan as Ryan stepped out onto the landing. He didn’t want his friend to feel obliged to invite him in. This was a special time for them. Ryan’s gaze zeroed in on him, and though it had to be early afternoon, he was still dressed in pajamas and a robe. Sophie noticed him and ran over to greet her buddy. “Merry Christmas, Ryan.”
“Merry Christmas. Come on in, have a cup of coffee.” He crouched to greet Sophie. “Where’s Felipe? You show him what you’ve been working on? I knew you wouldn’t be able to make it until you were done.”
“Felipe’s at home with his family.” Trask had been so relieved when he’d gotten that text last night. He’d stewed and worried over that situation and gone to another meeting to stop himself from all the agonizing over something he had no control over. He couldn’t force Felipe to forgive his family. He couldn’t make the family suddenly decide that the two of them were okay as a couple. The only thing he could control was his own reaction.
He hoped time would ease their fears because, despite Felipe’s annoyance with him and Trask’s desire to slow things down, he could really see the possibility of a future with Felipe. At least until Felipe decided that settling down with a guy twice his age with a quarter his charm was not what he wanted for himself.
The thought made Trask a little melancholy. It was bound to happen. He had to remember that or else the loss would cut even deeper. But he sure as hell would not be the guy who held Felipe back from flying.
“Why aren’t you with him?” Ryan’s gaze flicked to the workshop. “Meeting him later for dinner?”
Trask shook his head as he made his way toward the deck. “Nope. That’s family time, and they’re not too certain about me yet. His dad’s coming around. His grandmother is laid-back. But his mom and grandfather are the sticking points. Felipe had some crazy idea about cramming me down their throats and making them choke on the idea, but I put my foot down about that.”
Ryan studied Trask, and he hoped his friend wouldn’t get all prickly and defensive on his behalf. “How’d the diva take that?”
“His outrage toward his family was probably heard all along the waterfront, and his anger toward me for suggesting a step back was almost as epic.” Both incidents should’ve embarrassed Trask more than they had. He’d been too concerned with Felipe himself to fuss over the idea that anyone might’ve witnessed their words. By the time he looked back on the whole incident later on and thought of the spectators, the instinctive cringe wasn’t as bad. He had too many other cares to worry about the opinions of strangers.
Ryan hesitated, indecision warring in his expression. “You know the idea of you and Felipe has grown on me. I’ve misjudged him. He busts his ass even when he doesn’t have to. He doesn’t make himself a nuisance at the cons or at the Den.”
Ryan leaned against the railing and gestured with his coffee cup. “He’s good for you, Trask. When he comes around…. It’s like you come alive. I think you would’ve been perfectly content with your life if he hadn’t attached himself to you, but now that he has, you’re going to find a big void if you try to pull away. This guy’s special to you.”
“I don’t think I’m the one who’s going to pull away.” Trask watched Sophie as she ran off to chase a squirrel that dared to show its head. She was another one he had thought he’d been content without, and then she was there and Trask’s heart had filled to accept her. Just as another space in his heart had been completely filled with Felipe. Spaces and room he didn’t know he’d had.
“I think you do him a disservice,” Ryan said quietly, then straightened. “Now come on in, have a cup of coffee.”
“Naw, I’m good. I don’t want to intrude on your Christmas. I—” Trask shut up as Ryan shot him a hard glare.
“I swear on the Almighty that if you give me some bullshit excuse about holidays and family right now, I will sic Reva on you so hard you’ll never recover.” Ryan stabbed a finger in his direction and then turned it on his back door. “Last I checked you were family. Even looks like we’ll be neighbors, so accept our Merry Christmas welcome and come in and have a damn cookie.”
Trask smiled faintly and whistled for Sophie. “I don’t dare refuse an invitation like that.”
Hours later, Trask opened his apartment door juggling the food Joe’s family had pressed on him when he went to check on his friend and the box of cookies from Reva. He’d never be able to finish it all, but at least he’d have a Christmas feast. It had been nice to be included, but it made it harder to come back to an empty apartment.
Sophie looked up at him with a little whimper, as if sensing his melancholy, and pressed her body against his leg. She was getting big, and the solid weight against him was comforting. “I’m okay, sweet girl.” Trask rubbed the silky fur at her throat and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.
Felipe should be perched on the edge of his bed with a Santa hat curled rakishly over one
ear. Trask would have to call him to hear his voice. He’d wait a little longer, just to be sure he wasn’t interrupting Christmas dinner. He put some holiday music on and went over to the little tree he’d bought with Felipe. Poor thing’s branches were weighed down by the tiny string of lights, but when Trask flipped them on, the splash of cheer made him smile.
He glanced down at Sophie and gestured to the little boxes waiting for them. “I think we should open our presents, don’t you?”
Trask opened the box for Sophie first, taking his time because he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had presents under a tree, even if it was a tiny thing. Sophie’s tail began thumping the moment she saw the stuffed chicken. Trask pushed the open box over to her, and she didn’t hesitate to seize her prize. The chicken let out a squeak of distress, and Sophie’s tail whipped around in delight as she wrestled with her new toy.
Trask pulled out his phone, took a video of her rolling around, and sent it to Felipe. She loves it. Poor thing will be in pieces before she’s done. He paused, staring at the phone after he hit Send. I miss you.
He picked up the other present, neatly wrapped in ridiculous reindeer paper. He could picture Felipe picking it out, searching for the perfect print that would make the recipient grin. The box underneath was plain, and taped to the top was a key ring with a steaming coffee mug charm and two notes tagged on. The first note was slipped through the key ring and read for your new home.
Trask ran his thumb over it. The papers had been signed. The house was his, the second most expensive gift he’d bought himself next to the Den. The crazy thing was, after all the legalities had been taken care of and he’d been left at the house with Sophie, he’d been seeing Felipe everywhere in that place. The room on the backside was made for a sewing room. It had windows on two sides overlooking the backyard and letting in plenty of light. It would hold Felipe’s mannequins and new craft table without leaving him feeling crowded.
He could picture Felipe back in the living room, working on new project ideas or snuggled with Trask on the couch. The kitchen, the bedroom, even the room that Trask thought would make a good game room had Felipe’s stamp. Trask heard his laughter and saw that wicked flash of his smile everywhere.
He’d been wrong. He hadn’t bought that house just for himself or to give Sophie space to play in. He’d bought that place for both of them. So they’d have a home together. He’d even made sure there were plenty of trees.
The problem he always had with relationships was that he’d only let people so close and then put up a wall preventing them from getting any closer. Then the relationships just fizzled away. It was easier that way, safer. He didn’t have to worry about losing anyone again, having his heart broken, and wondering if he’d have the strength to fight through it or if it would send him on another bender. It scared the hell out of him.
But Felipe had slipped under his guard. No matter how many times Trask told himself that this wasn’t serious and Felipe would move on to someone far more interesting, he’d gotten engaged anyway. He sought Felipe out, created reasons for them to see each other, and didn’t resist when Felipe came to him.
And now was hooked by a pair of laughing eyes. After all those years of dodging. At least he was pretty sure that’s what this feeling was that seemed to be equal parts of terror and joy. The desire to see that Felipe was happy and to be a part of that happiness. He wanted Felipe with him, in that house, and it was crazy because it was such a permanent step. One he wasn’t sure Felipe even wanted despite his upset when Trask had shut down his suggestion for moving in. It would mean leaving his family, and Felipe was big on his family even when he was pissed at them.
Trask rubbed his finger over the key ring and slipped it onto the chain with the rest of his keys. He’d put the house key right on it.
The other tag on the box read. I told ya I’d get him.
Mystified, Trask unwrapped the box to reveal an angel tree topper with a suggestive O of surprise on his lips and widened shocked eyes. Trask pressed his lips together, but that didn’t stop the laughter that escaped. Trust Felipe to find the only angel tree topper in existence that looked like it was getting buggered. Trask laughed until his eyes watered, and Sophie crawled all over him, licking his face.
Trask picked up his phone, overcome with the need to hear Felipe’s voice. He held his breath, and after several agonizing rings, Felipe picked up. “What? My Tin Man is uncreaking enough to call me? Did the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future come pay you a visit and now you’re on your way to my house to sing carols under my window and beg my forgiveness?” The teasing note in Felipe’s voice cut out the bite of his words.
“You have me all emotional over a suggestive tree topper,” Trask said with a rasp in his voice that he couldn’t hide.
“Emotional is good. Gotta let it out sometime. Have you and Sophie been out all day?”
“Pretty much. Working on your present for a good portion of it. Got suckered into a late brunch with Ryan and Reva, then appetizers with Joe’s grandkids. They’d all opted to go to his place at the last minute.” Trask could hear the murmur of Felipe’s family in the background. It sounded as if they had a full house. “I don’t want to pull you away from your family. I just wanted to hear your voice and to say Merry Christmas.”
“It’s winding down. We just had our glass of spiked eggnog. The kiddos had hot chocolate. You know….” Felipe’s voice took on a wheedling tone. “That angel tree topper isn’t your real present. That was just for fun. When I saw it I had to get it. Your real present is here. And believe me, I agonized over the perfect gift.”
In Trask’s opinion, the real present was Felipe himself. “I have a present for you, too, but it’s not done yet. So I’m afraid you’re going to have to be patient for a little while longer.” But he couldn’t wait to see the expression on Felipe’s face when he saw the table.
“If you want to give me a present, you could come over and keep the other side of the bed from getting so cold. It’s Christmas. I don’t want to be alone.”
The suggestion tugged at Trask’s own loneliness. He had friends he could be with, but it wasn’t the same, not when he really wanted to be with Felipe. “Truce for tonight? We can talk about our future another time.”
“If that’s what it takes to get you here,” Felipe replied, his frustration evident.
“No, Felipe, I’d come regardless. I want to be with you too.” Trask closed his eyes, bringing up Felipe’s image in his mind. “Just know that I’m not looking to screw with you. I’m serious about us, even if I ask for a slowdown. Hell, I’d even agree to coffee with your family if it’ll make you happy.” Though if Felipe took him up on that offer, he prayed it would be a quick cup.
“I think you can safely dodge that tonight. By the time you get here, I’ll be done socializing and not want to share you.” Felipe’s voice took on a warmer, welcoming note. “Don’t keep me waiting.”
“I won’t.” Trask scooped up his keys with a lighter heart, and Sophie’s ears perked up. With all the traveling he and Felipe did back and forth between their places, their dogs could probably lead them blindfolded. “See you soon.”
Trask hung up the phone and carefully set the angel on the top of the tree, chuckling again. It was just terrible and perfect. And dammit, he loved the silly thing. “Come on, girl. Let’s go celebrate Christmas.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
FELIPE LISTENED hard for the sound of Trask’s truck, ignoring the background chatter in the kitchen. He’d already managed to sneak out once to stash the good coffee upstairs, along with some vegetarian sides they could nibble on when they got hungry. His aunts were packing up leftovers to take home and gathering Felipe’s cousins, and he figured it would be fairly safe to slip away soon without bringing too much attention to himself.
Mariana hugged him from behind, laying her chin on his shoulder. Felipe smiled and squeezed her hands. She’d been all over him ever since they returned from chur
ch last night, as if she couldn’t believe he was there and staying. “Trying to anchor me in place?” Felipe asked, and she nodded.
“You’re eyeing the door and watching for what Mom and Dad are doing, which means you’re thinking of cutting out on Christmas early.” Mariana’s grip eased. “You’ve made yourself scarce for what seemed like forever. Come on, you can’t leave now.”
“It’s almost 9:00 p.m. That’s not ditching too soon.” And they’d been up ridiculously early. Neither of them had broken the childhood habit of waking up at dawn on Christmas morning. They’d sat by the tree, trying to guess what was in the packages while waiting impatiently for everyone else to get up.
“No, but we could put on Doctor Who Christmas reruns.” That had become almost a tradition with them. Mariana didn’t enjoy the show on the regular, but she loved the specials. They rewatched their favorites over the week every year.
“We can do it tomorrow. Trask’s coming over,” Felipe said in a low, confiding voice. And maybe they’d have a chance for a long overdue conversation. Which was partially his fault, though he wouldn’t take all the blame. Trask had offered to continue their argument when he’d come back to pick up Lady, but Felipe didn’t much see the point when he’d doubted he would get Trask to change his mind. It had just been easier to screw and hold each other instead. And Felipe had slipped away the next morning before he said something he regretted or pushed Trask into doing the same.
The last few weeks had given them both time to think… and to sulk if Felipe was being honest. However, it also gave him the chance to look at it from Trask’s point of view. Slowing down didn’t mean stopping. Hell, in Trask speak that meant hey this is important to me, so he wanted to be sure he was doing it right. Patience wasn’t Felipe’s strongest skill, but he’d try for Trask. The man was certainly giving him plenty of practice with patience, and the funny thing was, he found that it was working out in other areas of his life. Like with his lolo.
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