by Willow Aster
The music is pumping and there are couples already sweating as they dance. Some of them are making me uncomfortable as they take the meaning of grinding to a jaw-dropping, shudder-inducing, I-need-to-go-scrub-my-corneas level. Ew.
Jared turns just as we are within a foot of him, and he yells over the music, “Sparrow! Hey!” He starts moving toward us, and I can hear Tessa murmuring under her breath. She likes what she sees. Oh yes. This is good. Why did I not think of this before now? It isn’t often that I meet a man worthy of Tessa. Jared just might be.
He gives me a hug and kisses my cheek. “You look amazing tonight, Sparrow,” he says.
“You look really great, too, Jared. Hey, this is Tessa!”
He has already turned to her, and I can tell he likes what he sees, too. She is beaming up at him, while he takes her hand and holds it up to his lips. Oh this is good. This is really good.
We talk for a few minutes and before long, Tessa just can’t stand still anymore. “Do you wanna dance?” Jared asks.
She clutches his arm and they go out on the dance floor and start doing their thing. I stand and try to wipe the huge smile off my face. It’s far too soon to be excited. It’s just a dance.
I decide to grab a drink and on my way to the bar, I see Asher Caldwell talking up a blonde Playboy type. He’s taller than I expected and even better looking. The girl is holding onto his arm and edging closer to him by the second. I’ve googled the projects Asher has worked on and I’m impressed. He’s turned several floundering bands completely around with his production. I wonder what Ian would think of me being at Asher Caldwell’s house runs through my mind. Who cares? I’m tired of wondering what Ian Sterling thinks.
As I step up to the bar, I’m so close to Asher, I can hear his husky voice. I’ve always had a thing for hoarse voices. In my opinion, it’s the only worthwhile part of having a cold. Or I guess in his case, he’s just lucky. That would be even better.
Ian is taller and his voice is even sexier, but who’s comparing?
I am sipping my raspberry flirtini when I turn around to find Tessa and Jared, and I nearly run over Asher. He has suddenly appeared on my heels. I lift the drink to keep it from spilling all over him and it douses my hand.
He seems amused.
“I’m so sorry. I nearly ruined your jacket.” I gush before I have time to think.
Asher seems to only have eyes for my chest. I clear my throat. He lifts his eyes slowly, taking his time. Until he realizes I am staring at him, and he curses under his breath and holds his hand out to me.
“Sorry. You caught me gawking. Who are you?” He takes the drink out of my hand and leans over the bar for a napkin. “Here, this will help.” He motions to the bartender and the guy gets to work making me another.
I dry my hand as best as I can with a cocktail napkin.
“Come on, we’ll get you cleaned up.” He ignores my sticky hand and tucks it in his arm.
I still haven’t said a word. I suppose I should feel nervous when he leads me down a hallway away from everyone, but he is being so polite, I don’t feel worried.
He opens his bedroom door and I open my mouth to protest when he says, “My room has the nicest bathroom. I’ll guard the door so no one bothers you.”
“Thank you.” I follow where he’s pointing, and he keeps his word and stands at the door. The noise of the party is nonexistent back here. It’s definitely the nicest room in the house, much more understated. Maybe his wealthy great-great aunt decorated the rest of the place.
I quickly wash my hands and ignore my temptation to snoop. When I open the door to the bathroom, Asher is leaning against the closed bedroom door and studying me.
“You are gorgeous,” he says.
“Thank you,” I say, quietly.
“What’s your name?”
“Sparrow.”
“Beautiful.” He seems fixated on my legs now, and it’s getting uncomfortable. I get to the door and am reaching out to grab the handle when he puts his hand on my arm. “Dance with me?”
I open the door now and walk out. He is right behind me.
“Hey, I’m not as lecherous as I seem, I promise,” he laughs.
“Yeah, you need to alert your eyeballs. Stick them back in your head, buddy.” I roll my eyes at him. Childish, I know, but really.
His laugh echoes in the hallway. “Oh, she’s got a mouth on her, too. I like that.” His eyes are laughing at me.
Just as I’m about to reach the end of the hallway, he reaches out his hand again. “Sparrow. One dance?”
I sigh. “Sure.” I give in. I really do think he’s harmless. Not to mention, really good-looking. He’s like the polar opposite of Ian. Bleached blonde hair, blue eyes, tattoos peeking out of his shirt. I’ve seen pictures in People with his shirt off and he’s covered with ink. He makes it look hot, that’s all I know.
Playboy girl is one of the first people I see when we come out, and Asher puts his arm around me as we walk past her. It makes me cringe. I don’t want him to get the wrong idea, and I also feel bad for her.
I turn to say something and his face is so close to mine, my nose touches his chin. “Maybe this isn’t a good idea,” I say.
“What?” The music is really loud, but I know he heard me.
“I don’t think—”
He grabs my waist and pulls me in, as close as he can possibly get. What is one dance gonna hurt? I begin to move and let the rhythm take over. Asher is matching me move for move. The longer we dance, the more I put Ian out of my mind and enjoy the night. One song goes into another and another and another. It feels good to let go.
Asher doesn’t leave my side the rest of the night. As it turns out, the guy is really funny. I forget all about him being Mr. Richie Rich, even when we go by his gold-plated fireplace to catch our breath and have a drink. Tessa and Jared walk over and Jared introduces Tessa to Asher before I get a chance. Jared and Tessa are clearly into each other.
Tessa leans in, “Are you okay, Ro? Having fun?” I nod and she slits her eyes to the side, looking at Asher out of the corner of her eye, appraising him. She leans in closer and gets in my ear. “Well, you know what I always say, ‘The best way to get over one music hotshot is to find another.’ I might have just made that up.” She winks at me while I hug her and laugh. “It’s a good one, though, right?”
“I think you might be onto something.” I whisper in her ear. “I didn’t think I’d have fun tonight.”
“I’m so glad you are,” she says and kisses both my cheeks.
“Sparrow, you ready to get back out there?” Asher points over his shoulder. I’ve never been with a guy who likes to dance like he does. The man can move. Really move.
We finally stop dancing when the countdown to midnight begins. I look around for Tessa and she and Jared are still joined at the hip. We’re all yelling, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1—Happy New Year!” Streamers and confetti go flying and while I’m still looking up at all the flying colors, Asher Caldwell pulls me in and kisses me.
- 9 -
The next morning, I wake up and stretch my tired muscles. I’m grateful I didn’t have too much to drink last night because I’d really be miserable this morning. My body aches like I’m dying. I didn’t realize I was so out of shape.
I crawl out of bed and head to the coffeepot. I had such a fun night, but I can’t shake the troubled feelings I’m having about Ian. It feels like I betrayed him somehow. The kiss with Asher. I didn’t see that coming. It was a good kiss. But … it doesn’t seem right. I remind myself that Ian and I have made no promises to each other. In fact, I think I got the brush off when we parted ways. I shouldn’t feel guilty for acting like any college girl would. And Asher Caldwell. I still haven’t wrapped my mind around that. First Ian Sterling and then Asher Caldwell. I wonder if they know each other.
I’m trying to make sense of it when a wave of nausea stops me mid-step. The next second, I’m running to the bathroom and coffee is a distant memory.
&
nbsp; The day fades in and out like this. I can’t stop throwing up. Every part of me hurts. I have a fever and dream crazy dreams. Tessa comes to check on me and I shoo her out of the room, so she doesn’t catch whatever I have. My phone rings off the hook, and I turn it off and sleep the day away.
The next day, Tessa comes in with toast and hot tea and tries to get me to eat. I’m still feeling awful. She’s looking at me like she’s got a huge secret and I lean up and croak, “Spill. What’s going on with you?”
“Well. We can talk when you’re feeling better.” She can’t stop grinning. “For now you need to rest.
“I’m tired of resting. What is it?” And then it hits me. “Jared.” I grin back.
Her whole face lights up. “He is amazing! Sweet Judas’s mother … did you see his arms? And we kissed at midnight.” Her eyes close and her lips are practically touching her eyeballs, they’re up so high. “I’m going out with him tonight.”
“You are? Oh, Tess. I like him so much!”
“Speaking of kisses…” Tessa’s eyes are glittering. “Um, hello. You kissed Asher Caldwell the other night.”
I hide under the blankets. “I can’t believe I did that. I don’t know what I was thinking.” I groan and cover my head with the pillow, too.
“You guys looked HOT dancing together. I saw that kiss coming a mile away.”
I groan again.
“I’m gonna give you a break since you’ve been so sick, but when you get out of this bed, we WILL talk about it.”
I stay under the pillow until she leaves.
My fever breaks sometime in the night and I wake up the next morning feeling better. It’s a good thing because I have to get to class this afternoon. When I get to the kitchen, a newspaper sits on the table—we never get the paper. It’s opened to the Entertainment section, and I do a double-take when I see a picture of Asher and me taking over half the front page. We’re in a provocative pose, dancing, and looking into each other’s eyes like there is no one else in the room. So maybe I did have a little too much to drink. I’m already feeling weak from being sick, but this doesn’t help. I take another look.
I rush to my computer and google Asher Caldwell and a dozen pictures of us come up from the party. I look at all of them and when I see the last one, I drop my head in my hands. It’s us, kissing. No innocent kiss. His hands are on either side of my face and my hands are in his hair. And if I remember correctly, our tongues were down each other’s throats. You can kinda tell in the picture, too.
My face is on fire, and it’s not the fever.
I pick up my phone and see that I’ve missed 27 calls.
4 from my parents, wishing me a Happy New Year and then wondering why I’m not returning their calls…
3 from Tessa, checking on me, asking if she should pick up some chicken noodle soup and then saying never mind, she’s picking up some chicken noodle soup.
17 are from various gossip magazines and news channels. I erase them all.
2 are from Asher. Very sweet. Saying he loved dancing with me and that meeting me was the best thing that happened to him last year. Cute. Oh, and when could we see each other again?
And then the last one. Ian.
My heart speeds up when I hear his voice.
“Uh, Sparrow? Hey, it’s Ian. Look, I’d like to talk to you. Wanted to make sure you made it home fine … and to say Happy New Year. So…Happy New Year.”
He sounds more awkward than I have ever heard him.
“Also, I’m gonna be playing out there in a few weeks. I’ll text the exact date, but … I’d love to see you when I’m in town.”
Pause.
“Well, sorry for the long message. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than listen to me ramble.” He laughs softly. “Bye, Little Bird. And … tell Asher hi for me.”
And there it is. I should have known he’d come out of the woodwork when he saw me with another guy. Asher, no less. On a whim, I google their names and find several pictures of them together at various benefits and music award shows.
Seeing all the pictures of Ian makes me wonder why there was never any paparazzi on us. Never. The only thing I can figure is that Asher seems to LOVE the camera, and Ian always seems to be hiding from it. Interesting.
I’m mortified and here’s why:
*Kissed someone within hours of meeting them
*48 hours from kissing the one I want
*Enjoyed both
God. What would Charlie say?
The next week, I get flowers from Asher. He calls every day. Sometimes I answer. Mostly, I don’t.
Finally on day 7 of this, he says, “Why are you playing so hard to get?”
“I’m not playing anything,” I say.
“I know you were into me. That kiss … the way we move together.”
“I really enjoyed the party. And I love to dance.” I know I’m sounding mean, but I’m not trying to be. I really don’t want to lead him on, and at the same time, I do genuinely like the guy. “And sometimes I enjoy the occasional kiss,” I add, trying to soften my tone, but also trying to let him know that I don’t want more with him.
“Are you seeing someone?”
I pause before answering. “There is someone I’m interested in.” I mentally chew Ian out for making this complicated. How did he get me so wrapped up?
“Oh. Well, are you exclusive with this guy?”
“No.” A sigh escapes before I can stop it.
“Then go out with me. Come on, Sparrow. It’ll be fun. I can’t stop thinking about you.”
“I’m not looking for a relationship, Asher.”
“Okay, perfect,” he replies.
“I don’t really want to be all over the gossip mags, either.” My voice is sounding agitated, but I don’t care.
“Why not? You look like a model!” He laughs. He lowers his seductive, husky voice. “Have you ever considered modeling for Victoria’s Secret?”
I don’t know what to say to that. I squeeze the phone so hard; I accidentally push the mute button with my cheek. I hurriedly fix it.
He laughs harder. “Hello? You there? You know you’ve got a body that needs to be seen.”
“No!” I moan. “Forget it. Why are you tormenting me?”
“Relax, girl. Tonight? Pick you up at 7?”
“As friends.” I brighten up. Yes, why can’t we just be friends?
“Yeah,” he draws out slowly, “whatever.”
We hang up and I try to get homework done until I absolutely have to start getting ready. I keep going back to the kiss—it was nice. Really nice. Not like kissing Ian … but Ian isn’t here.
My date with Asher is way mellower than I expected it to be, which is a relief. He was so intense the other night, screaming sexy with every move … I was a little afraid of what it might be like to be alone with him. I like to think I have boundaries, but well, he is a hot musician and apparently, I have a thing for those.
We go to a small hole in the wall restaurant. If there are cameras around, I am not seeing them. Asher is full of hilarious stories and has a hard time being serious about anything. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed so hard. I’m having such a great time and don’t feel uncomfortable at all. I can’t think about it too much; it’s all a little too Twilight Zone. Maybe God is testing me to see if I can avoid temptation. I eye Asher’s bulging arms while he’s talking, tuning him out to study his tattoos. I never even liked tatts until this very moment. The way his muscles are straining against his shirt. Yes, the heavens are definitely messing with me, and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna fail.
Talk about a change—I briefly wonder about Michael and miss him a little bit. Something about Asher reminds me of Michael—I think it’s the level of comfort I feel with both of them.
Before I can get further distracted, Asher is standing up and holding his hand out for me. “You still with me? Your eyes are glazed over.”
I bug them out for him and he leans over and kisses me. S
o much for just being friends.
The next few weeks sweep by with school and dates and lots and lots of conversations with me saying: Friends. And Asher saying: Yeah, whatever.
He seems fine knowing that I will still be seeing other people, but I haven’t really had time to test that. He could be seeing a slew of other girls on the side, I haven’t really thought about it. I know it wouldn’t bother me if he is.
I’ve heard from Ian once since that voicemail and it was a text giving me the date and time of his show. I’m tempted to not go, but … who am I kidding? I can’t not go. And who knows, maybe seeing him will give me closure somehow.
Tessa is determined to meet Ian. I haven’t talked about him since that night I got back from the ski trip, and she’s known better than to broach the subject. But when I told her he was coming to the Village, she immediately made plans with Jared for them to join me. Jared and Tessa are going strong; I love them together. He is completely smitten. She acts like she’s nonchalant about the whole thing, but I can see the way she looks at him when she thinks no one is watching. Since she’s dated a lot of frogs, it’s probably best that she’s being cautious, but I’m secretly hoping that Jared is the real deal.
When the night of Ian’s show finally arrives and Tessa and I are getting ready together in our tiny bathroom, Tessa goes serious on me. “Ro.” She says it so severely that I stop messing with my hair and look at her in the mirror.
“I know you’ve got it bad for Ian.”
I don’t bother denying it.
“Just be careful. Jared says he’s a player—he has a different girl everywhere he goes. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”
My heart is thudding. I’m listening. I haven’t wanted to think about this, but I know she’s probably right.