All I Want for Christmas

by Jenn Faulk

  She hadn’t known. Never would have guessed, as she’d been living her own perfectly content and happy life. But she’d taken note the rest of the break, stealing glances at Owen when the boys would come down to eat, wondering what it was at home that was so bad.

  She knew now. Owen had told her, about his dad and their tough relationship, about his dad’s passing, and about all the strife left in their home. But Jesus had worked in their lives since.

  Still was working, even now as Owen helped put his sister through college and did his best to help his mother pay off debt they’d inherited when his father had passed.

  Financially, Owen was bound in a lot of ways. Hannah told herself this when she thought about marriage, about the proposal that still hadn’t come. He was likely saving for a ring, not guessing that she’d be content with no ring at all, only wanting his proposal, the promise that all of the assumed future plans they were making would come to fruition…

  He didn’t need her to nag him about this. He had enough on his plate as it was.

  “I do remember that,” Hannah said now, her phone pressed close to her ear, her eyes going to her ring finger, still bare, even though her head told her not to think on it.

  “I think Christmas would be different now,” he said. “Surely you and I wouldn’t act like we did back then.”

  “Was I mean to you?” she asked, unable to remember all the details.

  “You were never mean to anyone, Hannah,” he said. “Except Beckett. But he deserved it.”

  “That’s the honest truth,” she said, laughing a little.

  “But you weren’t mean to me,” he said. “You were good. Kind. Better than I deserved.”

  “And I wouldn’t act that way now?” she said, wondering why it would be any different.

  “You would act that way, yes,” he said. “But I would be so much braver than I’d been back then. So ready to tell you how much I admire you, how I can’t stop thinking about you, how I love you…”

  “You loved me back when you were fifteen?” she asked, teasing him.

  “I think I’ve loved you my whole life, Hannah.”

  He said these things all the time, but they never sounded old or tired. They were a thrill, each and every time he blessed her with these words.

  “How’s your sister?” he asked, reminding her again why she was here and not with him.

  “Better,” Hannah said. “At least on the surface. She hasn’t said a lot about the church or any of the conflict, but I’ve only been here a little while. Haven’t heard any more about her being stuck here on Christmas, so maybe she’s feeling more optimistic about it all. And with Tate’s sister and her family here, she’s nice and preoccupied.”

  “Preoccupied,” Owen repeated. “And speaking of preoccupied, did you get the word yet from your parents about Beckett?”

  Beckett? Her mind went to her brother.

  “What about Beckett?”

  “He’s coming home for New Year’s,” Owen said, that smile back in his voice. “And he’s bringing a woman home.”

  “A woman?” Hannah asked, unable to keep the surprise out of her tone. “What woman would come home with Beckett?”

  An image of her unattractive, arrogant brother came to mind, his annoying voice, his stupid jokes…

  “A woman from Dubai would come home with Beckett,” Owen clarified. “Well, not from Dubai originally. She lives there now. She’s a missionary there.”

  “I still can’t believe Beckett’s a Christian now,” Hannah said thoughtfully, the image in her mind of him changing, rationalizing about how he’d gone overseas on assignment from the oil company where he was on staff as an engineer and a public relations consultant all at the same time, and how he’d changed since setting up his life in Dubai. He’d been an agnostic at best when he’d gone, and as she and Owen had prayed for him here in the States, he’d crossed paths with the right people at the right time in the UAE and had given his life to Christ.

  And given his heart to this woman, it sounded like.

  “New Year’s, right?” she asked. “I need to make sure and keep my schedule wide open so I can meet this woman and spend long conversations with her, dissuading her from starting up anything with Beckett.”

  “Too late for that,” Owen said, laughing out loud now. “He’s serious about her. He’s planning on proposing.”

  At this, Hannah sat up straighter.

  “Proposing?”

  Her older brother, Nate, was married. So was her sister, Aubrey. Then there was Edie who was also married. If Beckett took the plunge as planned, that would leave Hannah and Nick as the only two single Huntington siblings.

  Nick was eight years old.

  “That’s what I’m saying,” Owen said, clueless as to what Hannah was feeling as she looked back down at her bare ring finger.

  This was ridiculous. What she and Owen had was meant to be forever. They planned on a future together. He’d promised to be wherever she was for the rest of their lives.

  Why, then, did she feel like it wasn’t enough? Why was she feeling like such a cliché, longing for a proposal, a promise, a guarantee of a happily ever after?

  It felt frivolous, but it was how she felt, all the same. Not that it helped to linger on it, though.

  It would happen at the right time.

  Please, God, let it happen.

  “I’ll be thinking about you,” Hannah whispered into the phone, not even bothering to comment on Beckett’s life, on all the dreams that he was seeing come true while Hannah waited on hers. “And missing you, Owen.”

  “I love you, Hannah.”

  This would be enough. It would have to be.

  “I love you, too.”

  ~Edie~

  Brunch somehow turned into lunch, and Tate was still there at the parsonage, at home on Christmas.

  It was some kind of Christmas miracle that he’d only had to leave the house once that whole day to tend to something at the church.

  The church, Edie found herself thinking bitterly, even as she was marveling over the relative peace at their table, even with the church still just down the street.

  “There’s too much food,” Hannah murmured, even as she was reaching across Tate’s plate for another helping of the green bean casserole that Edie had made earlier that morning. “You made way too much, Edie.”

  “Sure doesn’t seem like it,” Tate said, grinning at the two of them. “Especially since you two have managed to take out a sizable chunk of what was clearly a feast for twenty.”

  “Pregnancy agrees with me,” Edie said unapologetically, continuing to eat. “I don’t know what Hannah’s excuse is.”

  “This is my first Christmas back in the US in seven years,” she said. “That’s my excuse. And I’m giving up on ever getting back to the same size I was in China, so… bring on more of the American cuisine.”

  “That’s right,” Edie nodded. “And because I’m calling this brunch, I don’t even feel guilty that I’ve spent all day eating.”

  “Maybe we can call it brunch and luner both so that we don’t have to stop this afternoon,” Hannah said. “Or maybe we can call it dunch.”

  “Dunch,” Edie grinned. “We can just graze all day.”

  It was only at that point that she thought to look up, just in time to see that everyone else had stopped eating long ago.

  And some of them had never started. Had Lucy even gotten a plate fixed when they started eating earlier in the day?

  “Grazing all day,” Hannah sighed. “American gluttony at its finest, which is something I can appreciate.”

  Edie’s attention turned from Lucy and the pale green shade of her face as Jude gestured between Edie and Hannah.

  “I didn’t see any resemblance between the two of you before we sat down to eat,” he said thoughtfully. “But now…”

  Edie and Hannah raised their eyes from the forkfuls they’d lifted to their mouths and looked at one another.

  “Maybe the
re’s a little resemblance,” Hannah said, noting it. “Sisters in feasting.”

  “Are you and Hannah close in age?” Lucy asked Edie. “I never can sort out how all of you fit together.”

  “Edie’s the youngest girl in our family,” Hannah said. “And I’m the oldest girl. We’ve got Nate ahead of us both. Then Beckett and Aubrey in between us.”

  “And Nick way behind us both,” Edie nodded.

  “So Aubrey is your closest sister?” Lucy asked, still looking to Edie.

  Closest. In age maybe. And for a few years there, they’d been closest in a relational sense as well.

  “Yeah,” she said, knowing that Hannah was studying her even as she said it, because Hannah knew exactly what she was thinking. “Aubrey’s only a couple of years older than me.”

  “And her husband is a pastor as well?” Lucy asked. “Which is why she’s stuck for Christmas like you are?”

  Stuck for Christmas. That was apt.

  “That,” Edie conceded, “and we don’t talk as much as we used to.”

  Not since that positive pregnancy test Edie had taken a few months back.

  “Our parents and our oldest and youngest brothers are with Aubrey and her husband this Christmas,” Hannah said. “They’ve been at their church for several years now, so…”

  So they really needed to be there for all of the exciting Christmas festivities they were doing at their perfect church, Edie added silently. Their kind, good church, which might not have always been like that, of course. Maybe Aubrey had been through some of the same growing pains that Edie was experiencing here. Not like Edie would know since Aubrey wasn’t really talking to her, but she’d imagined more than a few times how nice it would be to have someone to confide in as she walked through this tough season.

  Well, she had Hannah. Edie reached out under the table and took Hannah’s hand in hers inconspicuously.

  Hannah looked up at her, understanding in her eyes.

  “Do they have children?” Lucy asked. “I don’t even know how many nieces and nephews Tate has.”

  “Just one niece,” Edie said softly. “Nate and Athena’s daughter. But Aubrey… they don’t have any children.”

  Not for lack of trying. And that was the sore spot in Aubrey’s relationship with Edie. Both sisters could rationalize that this wasn’t a good reason to not be in touch with one another, but it didn’t change feelings. Aubrey’s inability to be around Edie, who had gotten pregnant without even intending to was almost as strong as Edie’s hesitance to be around her sister and hurt her worse. That was understandable, but it had still left growing room for the tiny sliver of resentment Edie felt towards her sister because they had to all be subdued about Edie’s pregnancy so as not to hurt Aubrey further. Not like Aubrey and Tucker were quiet about all the good happening at their church out of a desire not to hurt Tate and Edie who were struggling…

  Family dynamics. They were tough.

  Lucy said nothing for a long moment. And then, she seemed to get at least some of what wasn’t being said.

  “Oh,” she managed. “Well, pregnancy tends to affect… a whole lot.”

  And then, she managed to somehow look even more pale.

  Edie’s mind went back to the morning, to the way Lucy balked at all the food, the way that even now she was only managing a few bites of bread from Jude’s plate.

  Edie had a pregnancy test in the bathroom. When she’d sent Tate out in a frenzy a few months ago to get one, he’d come back with a two pack.

  Why did a woman need two pregnancy tests? Did women take multiple tests? Edie didn’t. One positive was enough, so she’d stuck the other one back on the shelf in a haze of disbelief, not even stopping to think that she’d obviously have no use for it anytime soon.

  But Lucy could use it. Lucy needed to use it, to figure out what was going on –

  And with that, Tate’s phone rang.

  “Well, I got a few uninterrupted hours of Christmas bliss in, huh?” he said, smiling over at Edie as he picked his phone up off of the table.

  “Who could be calling?” Edie asked, even though she knew who it had to be. Any number of someones from the church, calling for any number of insufficient reasons, always ready to need the pastor for something.

  “Can you send it to voicemail?” she asked, knowing what he would say.

  “It might be an emergency,” he said.

  Yep. Just exactly what she could have predicted he’d say because that’s what he said every time. And very rarely were these calls about any kind of real emergency, but there Tate went anyway, being a good pastor even at the worst of times.

  Edie’s eyes followed him as he left the room, answering the call as he went, jumping into a discussion regarding the church’s heating system.

  This again. Why were the church people stuck on this on Christmas Day of all days?

  Edie was ready to push back from the table herself and follow him, ready to take the phone and tell whoever was calling to give them a break already, but Hannah kept her in place with a hand to her knee.

  “Let it be,” Hannah said softly. “Tate will handle it.”

  He would. This had been the mantra Edie had been chanting to herself all the days of their ministry, telling herself to trust that Tate would handle it, that Tate would do the right thing, that Tate had been sent here to this place by God, and that Tate would do what God had planned for him.

  She needed to trust, to not be so stuck in this place of doubt and unbelief that she found herself in.

  “You said this is your first Christmas back in the US,” Lucy said, clearly sensing the tension in the room and doing her best to change the subject for all of them. “It must be very different than all the years you spent in China.”

  Hannah smiled. “Different, yes, but Christmas in China was always wonderful as well,” she said. “The holiday opened up a lot of opportunities for me to share the story of Jesus with my Chinese friends. I’d invite them over to my place for Christmas dinner and would really go all out with the celebration, not because of the holiday and my own personal preferences but because it opened a lot of doors for me to share my faith. In some ways, it was the busiest work day of the year for me.”

  Work day. But Edie could tell by Hannah’s smile that it had been her joy, not a burden.

  This, however, spending Christmas away from Owen, who Hannah was clearly in love with…

  “This Christmas should be for you, then,” Edie said, feeling a little guilty even as she said it. Hannah had spent all that time in China, thinking of others on Christmas, not herself. And here she was back in the States, where she’d put Edie before herself. If it was up to Hannah, she probably would have stayed in Houston and spent the day with Owen. But as it was, she was stuck here with Edie.

  What a bad way to spend the holiday.

  “This Christmas is for me,” Hannah said, smiling at her now. “And I’m celebrating Christmas with you, Edie. Because there’s no other place I’d rather be.”

  Before Edie could speak to that, suddenly feeling very choked up and so appreciative of her sister and her presence here, Tate came back into the kitchen with a sigh, an apologetic smile already directed towards his wife.

  And like that, all the warm fuzzies Edie had been feeling vanished.

  “What?” she asked, taking him in as she asked it. “Do you have to leave?”

  The way he paused before speaking said it all.

  “The building and grounds committee got someone to come in and check out that heater today,” he said. “Someone who might be able to extend its life a little more at a reduced cost to us, so I’m going to go down to the church to let them in and help out however I can.”

  “Tate, it’s Christmas,” she said, not even bothering to disguise the groan in her voice. “Can’t someone else open up the church?”

  “And leave their own families?” he asked. “Christmas is an important day for everyone.”

  “Exactly,” she said, gesturing
to the table around them, their guests, their family Christmas. “I get that. It’s an important day to me, too.”

  And she was making it awkward, arguing with her husband in front of his sister, her own sister, her brother-in-law, and even her niece, who kept darting in from the play kitchen every few minutes to sneak another bite before heading back.

  Bethany was there now with the rest of them, sitting in Jude’s lap, watching just as intently as the other adults as Edie and Tate stared at one another, not understanding each other in the slightest.

  “Edie,” he said patiently.

  “Tate,” she echoed, mimicking his patient tone that was suddenly so grating and annoying –

  “I’m the pastor,” he said. “A servant of God. And surely I can sacrifice – we can sacrifice – a few minutes on Christmas if it’s for the good of the body of Christ.”

  Well, what could she say to that? Plenty, actually, and she got ready to jump right into it.

  But Tate was ready with a rebuttal.

  “Besides, I’m the closest person to the church who has a key,” he said, already getting his coat on. “So it just makes sense for me to go.”

  “Can’t it wait, though?” she asked, not willing to just okay him leaving like this. “Till tomorrow at least?”

  “Tomorrow is Sunday,” he reminded her. “We’re going to have the church full of people tomorrow.”

  Not likely. All the fighting and discontent going on inside the church tended to scare away visitors, tended to thin the already shaky flock…

  “I can’t have our older ladies come to a cold building,” he said. “I know things like comfort are secondary to the gospel, most definitely, but if a cold sanctuary makes it impossible for our older women, our more frail members, to be there in corporate worship with the body, then we need to do what we can to fix that.”