Advice from a Sunflower

by Jen Stevens

He shakes his head slowly, narrowing those piercing eyes right on me. "Well, it was. Don't pretend like it didn't bother you, either. I can see right through the act."

  "I'm not sure what you're getting at here, Eli, but I can assure you, seeing you and your ex-wife together did not bother me one bit. I'll be out of here before you know it, so don't let me spoil your good time."

  I should win an award for that performance. Maybe the alcohol has gotten to my head, but I think that was a perfectly executed lie.

  Of course, he could never admit to being wrong, so instead he just rolls his eyes and takes a step closer to me. "When you leave. Right."

  I hate the condescending doubt dripping from his tone.

  "What is that supposed to mean? I am leaving. This isn't my home anymore.”

  "Oh, I know. You'll run away with your tail between your legs the second things get a little hard. Just like you always have." He points his finger toward the door, a mask of indifference firmly in place as he repeats the same words Marnie spoke to me not long ago.

  Why do they think I'm always running away? I've never once backed down from a challenge, especially in The Hollow. My entire life here was a never-ending challenge and I stuck it out until it was time for me to fly on my own. Why do they all hold that against me?

  "You're wrong," is all I manage to choke out, my throat feeling more clogged with emotion than I'd like to admit.

  My head is spinning from all the punch I had earlier.

  Why am I always the villain in their stories?

  "Am I?" he challenges, hard eyes never leaving mine. "I'm sure you've already booked the first flight out of here now that the wedding is over, desperate to return back to your cushy life and perfect boyfriend while we're left once again, picking up the pieces."

  "What pieces? You never even noticed I was here before. Don't pretend that this has anything to do with my leaving and not that you ended up coming back. We both had plans to escape from here; you're only mad that I actually managed to follow through where you couldn't."

  He's touched a nerve and I can feel my face heating with anger as my words come spitting out. My friend, the mighty backbone has officially been put firmly back in place, erasing the jelly that was once there before.

  "You have no idea what you're talking about."

  "Oh, but don't I? You fell into the small town black hole and can't stand that I didn't fall down with you. That I managed to stay away when you were called right back. You found your new friends early on in high school and completely dropped me and our plans, just like everyone else. It was years before you decided I was worth your time, and you can't stand that despite you taking the most precious thing I could offer, I still didn't let you hold me back. How long did it take for you to marry Emma after that? For her to convince you to stay close for college?"

  "What else was I supposed to do, Mouse? Follow you? Beg you to want me? No, fuck that. When you walked away from me after what we shared that night, you made your choice. You don't get to criticize how or why I made mine."

  I scoff at that, throwing my hands in the air. "Yeah, apparently your choice was running right back to the life you supposedly hated and blaming everyone else when you weren't happy with the end result."

  He lets out a loud growl, advancing toward me two steps before abruptly stopping himself. His fingers find his scalp and rustle up his usually perfect hair.

  "You're infuriating," he rasps, the mask of indifference quickly falling away to reveal… what is it? Anger? Hurt? I can't tell anymore.

  "Only because you know I'm right."

  "You couldn't be any further from being right, Mouse."

  "Don't call me that. I told you I don't answer to that name anymore," I insist, my brows furrowing together in frustration.

  Wrong move.

  His lips curl in a sinister grin at the crack in my voice. After successfully keeping my guard in place, I've just exposed a weak spot and given him a target.

  "Why not, Mouse? Everyone always thought it was so cute calling you that. Quiet, meek little Mouse always scurrying around town in hopes no one would notice her."

  He releases a menacing chuckle, and I can't help but feel like an actual mouse being played with by its predator before being devoured. The sick part is that it's actually turning me on.

  I have the fleeting thought that I want to be devoured by him before swatting it away.

  "I'm not playing your games," I choke out, my shoulders pushed back and my expression stoic. I'm determined to walk away from him with some semblance of pride. "Just leave me alone for the rest of my trip, and then you can forget I ever existed like you had before."

  I begin to walk away but am yanked back when his long fingers wrap gently around my arm. "That's not going to happen," he growls into my ear, so close that his hot breath sends tingles down my spine. "I let you get away from me once before and everything imploded. If you think you're going to walk away from this unscathed again, you're dead wrong."

  Before I can even take my next breath, his lips are on mine, aggressively reclaiming everything I walked away with all those years ago. My ego tells me to push him away. Who does he think he is talking to me like that and then mauling me like I'm his to own?

  But my heart wants him to keep going. To see how far he's willing to take it. We're transported back in time, eighteen again and unscathed by the outside world, yet still older, wiser, and a ton more experienced. It makes the kiss that much harder to pull away from.

  Whatever happened to the man before me has hardened him beyond belief, but his mouth is betraying his abrasive attitude. He's still the delicate boy I handed myself over to all those years ago.

  As I struggle with the internal battle of brain versus heart, Eli's hands begin caressing their way up my hips, his fingers slowly slipping under my shirt to meet the soft flesh of my stomach. He's walking me backwards toward the couch and my brain turns to mush.

  Ego? Pride? What are those things? They officially leave the building when he breaks the kiss to nip at my chin and earlobes, each bite leaving a little sting in its wake that feels both enticing and punishing.

  I let out a soft whimper when he makes a move South, expertly pulling my shirt and bra out of the way to place his mouth on my left nipple. Brad never bothered with foreplay, unless it was for him. I never argued it, but I'm remembering exactly how important it is as Eli pays equal attention to both of my nipples and his hand begins moving over the button on my jeans.

  He makes quick work of unclasping them and yanking them down my legs, exposing the boring pink cotton panties I picked up at Walmart when I first landed. He quietly takes in the view before him with a blank expression before returning to my bare, lonely breasts.

  My cheeks redden once again, only this time in embarrassment as I realize I'm nearly completely naked before him in the middle of my sisters living room wearing my Walmart underwear while he remains fully clothed. I try to remedy that issue by tugging at his shirt, but he swats my hands away, slowly shaking his head.

  "No," is all he says, abandoning the girls to hook his fingers on my plain panties. For the first time, he stops to meet my eyes, silently asking for permission.

  I'm not sure why this is where he draws the line after brazenly taking every step before without so much as a glance in my direction, but I swallow back the thick emotion in my throat and nod a little too eagerly. If he's capable of turning my brain into mush with a few simple elementary nips and kisses, I'm terrified and excited to see what he'll do to me next.

  Another sinister smirk pulls at his lips as he begins tugging my panties down but before I can begin to overanalyze it, he dives his head down and gives my center a long, slow lick. I can't even stop the moan that escapes me as my hips buck further forward into his mouth. I can still feel the smile on his face as he takes my embarrassing display as encouragement and continues pleasuring me with his tongue, expertly moving and caressing in ways I'm ashamed to say I've never experienced before.


  The noises that fall from my mouth are strictly primal and somewhere deep in my euphoric haze I wonder if Marnie is still awake and if she can hear me. Hell, I begin to wonder if the entire block can hear me once he begins introducing his fingers. One by one, he slowly inserts each one, curling them upward once he's in all the way until I can't take any more. My head begins thrumming with anticipation as my body builds up to the strongest orgasm I've ever been blessed with. I can feel him trying to hold my hips down and keep up as my body starts convulsing, and we ride the wave together until the last of them work their way through me.

  Once I'm finished, Eli slowly pulls away. When he stands up to examine me with that same damn self-assured smirk, reality hits hard.

  "That meant nothing," I insist, attempting to push through the exhaustion of my orgasm to sit up and find my clothes. I'm not allowing him to be the one who decides this time.

  Eli makes no moves to help as he continues staring down at me. He quirks an eyebrow up as I struggle to clasp my bra with shaky, traitorous fingers.

  "Sure it did."

  "It didn’t. [1]This doesn't change anything, Eli. Just leave me alone until I can get things sorted with Marnie and go back home. We can forget anything ever happened."

  Even as the words leave my mouth, I know they're a complete and total lie. I won't be forgetting what just happened for a very long time but that doesn't mean I can allow it to happen again.

  "Oh, you won't be forgetting anything," he says, practically reading my mind. He gestures his finger between us. "And this isn't over."

  "Yes. It is. I have a life outside of here and you have an arsenal of personal issues you need to address."

  He lets out a patronizing chuckle. "Okay, Mouse. Keep telling yourself that."

  I don't bother defending myself. Once my bra and panties are on and the rest of my clothes have been located, he turns around and begins heading for the door.

  Chapter 16

  Lyla

  "How are you feeling today?" Marnie greets the next morning when I pass her to the coffee maker. I fill a cup and start for the fridge for cream, avoiding her eyes the entire way.

  “Why are you talking so loud?" I groan, wincing at the hammer pounding into the side of my head. It’s been a long time since I’ve drank that much, and I don’t plan a repeat performance ever again.

  Marnie just snickers, downing her coffee.

  "Eli is coming over to fix the showerhead today. I'm taking the girls to daycare and then I picked up a shift at the diner for some extra cash. I hope you don't mind being alone."

  Our conversation about her and the girls moving with me has been put on hold for the sake of peace, but she knows that her taking the job at the diner is under my skin. It's like the more I push for her to get out of here, the further she digs her heels into the past. At some point, we're going to have to sit down and have a real discussion about it so I can either leave on my own or start preparing for them to come with me.

  "That's fine," I say distractedly, trying not to allow my tone to give away my annoyance. Both at her stubbornness and the idea of seeing Eli again hours after I've sworn him off.

  Maybe I'll do some writing in town.

  Maybe I'll stick around and give him a piece of my mind for what we did last night.

  Or maybe I'm fooling myself and I'll be stuck here waiting for him all day to see which mood I'll find him in once we're alone again.

  Marnie, who is ignorant to my racing thoughts, nods her head and walks out of the kitchen to gather the girls, probably feeling triumphant about the fact that I didn't make a scene about her working today.

  ***

  Eli doesn't end up coming over until lunch time, about an hour before Marnie's shift ends. I spent the morning typing and erasing words on my laptop and making up different scenarios in my head where I tell him off and leave The Hollow again. This time for good. I was hoping he'd allow more time for me to make my dramatic statement before Marnie got home.

  By the time he knocks on the door and I open it to see the same indifferent, stone cold face he's worn around me since I arrived, my brain forgets every word of the carefully planned speech we had rehearsed. He pushes past and walks right up the stairs with his toolbox, not even sparing me a glance.

  Fine.

  I follow close behind and head into Marnie's room where my things are neatly packed away and still in bags. I refuse to begin making this place home again.

  I resort to reopening my laptop and scanning through emails I've already read and replied to in order to keep myself from doing something rash or impractical. My mind apparently has no control over what comes out of my mouth and zero influence over what my body does around him. I want to explode with all the colorful feelings and emotions I'm having. I'm not happy with how things were left between us and there's a burning need to storm up to him and demand answers and insist it never happens again.

  Instead, I cower in Marnie's room and wait. For what? I don't know. The new Lyla is terribly disappointed in herself for lying down and taking this kind of treatment the way the old version would.

  Maybe I'm not as different as I thought I was.

  "I'm finished," Eli's gravel voice interrupts my pathetic internal torture. He stands outside the bedroom door, barely peeking his head into the room.

  "Okay," I breathe, all willpower thrown out the window when my traitorous eyes fall to his bare chest and the soaked shirt in his hand.

  Of course, he takes notice and allows that smug smile he only reserves for me to spill onto his lips.

  I need to get laid.

  Or a lobotomy.

  He tsks, once again reading my thoughts. "Marnie should be home anytime now, little Mouse. You should wipe those thoughts away before you make me do something you'll regret."

  I do my best to school my face into a bored expression similar to the one he's perfected, holding on to any shred of pride I can muster up within my weak chest. "I guess you'd better get going, then."

  "I want to have dinner tonight," he declares from nowhere, shifting his feet—the only nervous tick he's ever given me.

  "Good for you. Have fun."

  Eli shakes his head and rolls his eyes to the ceiling, as if I'm dancing on every one of his last nerves and he can't stand it.

  "I mean with you."

  "And why would you want to do that?"

  "I'm trying to redeem myself here, Mouse. Stop making it harder than it has to be."

  I school my expression so he can't read the shock that comes with those words. He mistakes my silence as surrender. "I'll be over at six to pick you up."

  ***

  I’d been in such a rush, I forgot to ignore Natalie’s call on the way over, interrupting mine and Eli’s awkwardly silent drive.

  The reminder that something is off with him is still constantly there, sounding alarms in my head each time I build up enough bravery to glance his way. I’ve spent so long shedding my skin from The Hollow, I forgot to consider that the people here might have done the same.

  I didn’t expect to run into Eli during my visit, though I think it was always in the back of my mind that the chance was there, especially since his mother still lives next door to Marnie. It shouldn’t surprise me that he’s so standoffish now. It’s been a long time since we last saw each other. A lot of life has been lived. But I can’t shake the feeling that while my path was filled with opportunity and growth, Eli’s was clearly paved with the opposite.

  “You answered!” she exclaims into the receiver, her familiar voice immediately breaking up the rock I’ve been feeling in my stomach every time she calls.

  In truth, I’ve been afraid to explain to her what happened between me and Brad before I left, or how I ended up leaving things. She’d be right on board with us living together, calling me names for throwing away what she believes is a perfect match for me.

  “I did. What’s up?” I ask hesitantly, mouthing an apology to Eli as he drives us out of town. In all the chaos from bef
ore, I’d forgotten to ask him where we’re going for dinner.

  “I talked to Brad about what happened,” she starts, immediately confirming that I’ve been right not to answer.

  “I don’t want to talk about that right now, Nat,” I cut in before she can say more, watching Eli from the corner of my eye to see if her shrill voice is blasting through the receiver as loudly as I think it is.

  If it is, he’s hiding it very well. His lips are still slightly tugged in a frown, his usually pale cheeks painted pink. His entire appearance is so conflicted—at ease but still so tense. He isn’t the same boy I’d grown up with. I wondered if there's even a trace of me left from that time but immediately hope there isn’t. I’ve spent years trying to stomp her out. Although it seems as if the moment we start sharing oxygen, I lose a significant amount of brain cells. Nothing new there.

  My chest tightens and knees shake each time I think about what we did yesterday.

  “Okay, okay no more personal talk. Let’s talk business.” I hear her shuffling papers around, clearing her throat to switch gears from friends to client and agent. “So, they loved the new book pitch, just like I knew they would. We can talk about the timeline when you get home, but that’s not why I’m so excited to talk to you.”

  “What is it?”

  Under normal circumstances, having a pitch approved by the agency is enough to have us pouring champagne and celebrating as we go over the terms of my new contracts. Whatever it is, it has to be big.

  “We got a movie deal!” she shrieks into my ear.

  “What?”

  She lets out an ear-piercing scream that has me pulling the phone away from my face. Eli looks over skeptically, his brows raised in question.

  “When Time Stood Still is going to be a movie! I’ve been going back and forth with the studio about buying the rights, and they finally pulled the trigger! They want to get started with the screenplay right away while they collect the rest of the funds to produce. It’s a private studio in Cali. The guy’s son wants to get into directing and they couldn’t think of a better storyline to start with. His girlfriend loves the book.”