“Ha ha, no problem. In most institutions, the RNs were at the bottom to the pecking order. I haven’t been at a real hospital in years, but I hear that things are changing, especially with the nursing shortage and funding difficulties. As you might guess, I’m used to doing things in quite an unorthodox fashion myself. Ahh, the drinks and appetizers are here.”
Bernard walked besides a tray on top of what might be some type of robot. It looked like a cross between a low motorized cart and an upside-down squid. As the cart approached Martin and Phyllis, a long tentacle handed each a drink. Bernard said, “Your usual, a whisky sour Doctor, and a bocce ball for Ms. Marks.”
Phyllis took a sip, it was a curious mixture of orange and amaretto and pineapple juice. It had a kick to it. “This is delicious. I never had anything like this before, a bocce ball, like the Italian game?”
Bernard wagged his tail, “Le Chef selected it, probably for your ethnic background. And Le Chef said that nothing tonight has any milk products that would be a problem for you.”
“By the way, how did you know I was lactose intolerant? It’s not something I mention to people.”
Bernard said, “Oh, David told us.”
Phyllis, thought for a second, “I never mentioned that to him, and I never took my lactose pills in front of him.”
Martin looked slightly uncomfortable. “You have to forgive my son. By now, you probably realize that to him all books are open. Including all cash register receipts that stores keep in their computers. I apologize for his ill manners. I take it you already have experienced this in other situations.”
Phyllis was feeling her anger rise, and looked at David who sat in a chair in a corner of the room. “David! Did you search my pharmacy receipts? After the incident last week? How, how could you?”
David fidgeted in a small voice said, “well yesterday, when you said not to use the thingee when we were about to you-know-what, I knew you would be safe from me, and well I didn’t have time to check on all of your old boyfriends, so I, ah, … so I checked out your pharmacy records.” The last words came out almost as a squeak.
Phyllis walked up to behind him and put her hands on his shoulder. Surreptitiously she squeezed hard in places she knew were pressure points. Through gritted teeth she said, “I think we need to talk this over later, in private. I’m sorry Doctor Klein; I guess I’m not used to this Ins and Outs thing you talked about earlier.”
Martin who was having trouble keeping a straight face, “I can personally empathize. David’s Freedom of Information Act has single-handedly kept me celibate for the last 11 years.”
Phyllis started to laugh and hugged David. “Like I said, I have a lot of learning to do.” Her fingertips were still squeezing into his pressure points. She thought, ‘If I can’t teach him decorum, David will follow in his dad’s footsteps.’
Martin broke out into a very loud laugh. David turned red and craned his head to look at her. “I think you must have been working on your sub-vocalizations.”
Phyllis bit her lips then sub-vocalized, “Maybe only 5 years then.”
The cart moved closer to them and two tentacles held out a dish. Bernard voice asked, “Would you like some baba ganush on pita? Or some clam dip? These are Parisian mushrooms. And this is a Pâté.”
Both David and Phyllis had some. Phyllis was at first hesitant but kept going for seconds. “These are delicious. This Le Chef of yours must be a formally trained chef.”
Martin turned still smiling, “Ah, here he comes now.”
A three hundred pound hog with brown skin and large pink spots walked it. “It iz an ‘onnor to serve an appreciative guest.” The French accent could only have come from the hog.
When Phyllis saw the pig approach, she flinched and stepped back. She started to gag. Coughing, it took her a few seconds to regain her composure. She took a step forward and slapped the back of David’s head. “That’s for not telling me, so I could make a fool of myself. Boy, will we speak about this later, David Smith-Klein.”
Phyllis noticed that David’s father was clenching his jaw, probably biting his tongue, to prevent himself from laughing.
She turned and faced the pig, “My apologies Monsieur Le Chef. I was very surprised; I had expected a very seasoned senior chef, not someone of your obvious youth. Your food is exceptionally delicious. I have never eaten such wonderful tasting appetizers. I would be devouring your tray, except that it would ruin my appetite for your other delicacies. Could you send me your recipes for these? And the bocce ball too.”
“I cook by ze smell and luuk ov theengs. But for you Mademoiselle Phyllis it would be a pleazure. I came in to zay, zat din-nur wheel be zurved in ten min-utes.”
Phyllis looked at the hog, “How do you actually cook? I mean you don’t have thumbs or can hold things.”
The pig cocked his head, “Ho ho, ho. It iz eazy when you ‘av a eight fuut ro-bott doing thengs for you. ‘e is zpecal. ‘e ‘as thermometers to zense how hot ze foood iz. And ‘ands which can ‘old the ‘ot-test pot. But it iz my eye, and my snout which guides ‘im. I am ze chef.” The hog strutted back to the kitchen.
Martin who still was suppressing a grin, “I’m sorry, but at times David’s ignorance of other peoples ignorance is appalling, even when it is funny. I’m sure David didn’t tell you. Did he mention Dr. Mgumba?”
Phyllis shook her head no. Martin said, “Well Dr. Mgumba helps me in the surgery. Effectively he’s a veterinarian. He’s also a chimpanzee. I enhanced him when he was two-weeks old. He’s a year older than David; and, well, he’s a godsend for his help. He’ll be joining us for dinner. He’s currently caring for an enhanced German Sheppard pup.”
Phyllis put her empty glass on the cart. “I’m curious about something? It sounds like all the enhanced creatures you’ve worked on were very young at the time of the surgery. Did you ever work on older animals or people?”
Martin tipped his glass toward Phyllis as a salute, “Wonderful pick up Miss Marks. You were listening to what wasn’t said. Yes, there seems to be a qualitative change in the brain circuitry as we age. For the truly enhanced, the linking of one thought, or action, is controlled by the computer through a single neuron. Whereas, in us older animals, thinking is controlled by the millions of interconnections of the neurons. A single thought is often a thousand, or ten thousand, neurons firing. For the enhanced it’s often just a few, or even one neuron. For you and me the wet brain is the center of our thoughts. I think, at a very young age, the brain loses a large degree of its plasticity. There’s actually a more formal explanation in neuroanatomy. If you or I were ever to have the same operation as David did, then we would be able to receive visual stimuli, perhaps even type or talk directly into the computer. But it would be a shadow of what David does. His brain actually isn’t used to store information anymore, which is handled much more efficiently by the computer. Did he tell you about what would happen if it were ever disconnected?”
“Not really, he said something like, he needed it to function. Actually, the way he phrased it, confirmed that he’s a cyborg. What would happen?”
Martin sighed, shaking his head no to David, “At one point when he was about two, I tried to disconnect him. He stopped breathing and his heart stopped. I immediately re-plugged him. Last Fall an accident occurred on campus, where he was disconnected and he almost died then too. Luckily, I was there to revive him. Over the summer, we succeeded in unplugging him for extended periods of time. He is barely aware of what he hears, sees or feels. I know he wouldn’t recognize me, or even know his own name. As far as autonomic functions go, we were very lucky that his heart beat and breathing were still independently functional. He still has problems swallowing. We’re working on that.”
“Does that mean that his mind actually resides in the computer?”
“I don’t think so; his brain still controls the computer. Actually, I don’t know
where his head is truly at these days.”
Both Martin and Phyllis laughed. David was still half-sullen on the chair.
Phyllis asked, “Martin, is this crazy story that David has of a perpetual motion machine have any semblance of reality?”
“Actually, plenty. We’ll visit there tomorrow, although there isn’t much to see. We have a four megawatt generator in use. It’s supplying a part of Larchmont’s power. My main job is speaking to the politicians to allow us to sell them energy cheap. They just don’t trust us. They think its all smoke and mirrors. We’ve had four teams of engineers going over it with a fine toothbrush. I’ve already been on the phone with our senators, governors and various mayors. They love the idea of a small-site, non-polluting, inexpensive energy source, but we’re too small an outfit for them to trust.”
Bernard appeared and said, “Dinner is ready.”
Phyllis went to the front of David’s chair, grabbed both of his hands, leaned back and levered David up, then put an arm around his waist and asked if he would introduce her to Dr. Mgumba.
Dinner consisted of Steak Diane with an Espanole sauce, lime/dill curried potatoes and fiddlehead beans in a sauce made from ghee and herbs. Dessert was espresso and four types of pastries. Phyllis enjoyed speaking to the silverback chimpanzee. He had a quiet, deep voice and piercing eyes. She had to remind herself a few times that in the wild, apes that show their canines were not laughing, but ready to attack. The quiet, doctor Mgumba obviously had some circuits changed.
***
Martin: David, I thought we agreed that you were not to tell your girlfriends about us.
David: But, Dad, I didn’t tell her. She knew. I mean, she guessed. She knew I was a cyborg, enhanced. Once she knew that, is her knowing that I’m an inventor really that much more important? Besides, I couldn’t say I love her and hide everything.
Martin: You’re right – in for an inch, in for a mile. Actually, it’s a relief for me to be able to talk freely to another human being.
David: ??
Martin: Besides you. Oh, you know what I meant. But are you sure, she’s the one?
David: Yeah, Dad. She’s really, really wise. She’s able to get along with everyone. We talk and she picks things up fast. She’s in love with me. And I love her.
Martin: Are you confusing sex with love?
David: OH DAD!?! No, I’m not. With Andrea, yes, that was lust, but Phyllis is different.
Martin: David, I’ve been on your case on a number of times where you got sloppy with hiding your abilities. I’m tired of monitoring your every word or act. I hope you can finally realize that Phyllis knew a while ago that you’re a cyborg. She’s perceptive, but so are others. Others, like Andrea, the police, or some of the boys in your psychology class, may not be as gentle.
David: I guess.
Martin: GUESS DAVID?
David: Yeah, I’ve been sloppy.
Martin: Can you write a subroutine to monitor what you’re going to say or do, to see if it would endanger you? You can name it ‘Superego’, after Freud. When it flags an act you’re about to do, have it activate the misery receptor in your brain. You could still do it, but you’d know it was a bad idea. I’ll start working on a list.
David: I’ll get on it tonight.
***
After dinner, Phyllis was ushered into a spare bedroom. Although it was very recently cleaned, she could tell by the vacuum ruts in the rug, it smelled of many years of lack of use and there was a slight earthy smell, like damp fur in the air. A half-hour after she arrived, she heard a quiet knock. David’s head appeared. “Are you still angry with me?” Phyllis gestured for him to enter. He hesitantly approached and sat at the edge of the bed.
“Yes, … No, … not really,” she kissed him warmly. Petulantly she said, “But why did you throw me out to the wolves like that. It was embarrassing. I really wanted to make a good first impression. I felt so embarrassed when Le Chef walked in. My mouth was open a foot wide, and then I started babbling. If you want to make this relationship work, you have to work to make sure I don’t make a fool of myself, and I’ll protect you.”
“I guess.” David looked sullen.
“That’s another thing, I noticed that at campus you’re a lot more self-assured, funny, always with a smile, knowing. Here, well in a way, you’re still a 9 year old who may not have put away his clothes.”
“I know what you mean. I can feel the difference between here and at campus.”
“By the way, is it ok if you’re here in the room with me? Does your father know?”
David plucked Phyllis’ earplug/camera from her head and turned it off. He rolled his eyes, “Yeah!”
Phyllis thought, ‘I need a lot more time getting used to the Ins and Outs way of thinking.’ “Your dad seemed really nice, in spite of all my babbling he didn’t seem to be putting me down.”
“You’re the first human to ever enter the family enclave. He kinda knows that having a 300-pound hog prepare dinner is unsettling. By the way, he told me that he was impressed in how fast you recovered, saying to Le Chef ‘not someone of your obvious youth’. They all were. Dad said that I had impeccable taste in women.”
“He said that? I thought I was behaving perfectly horribly, a blabbering idiot. He liked me?”
“Yeah, and he said you were really cute too. Especially, in the black leather, ‘totally sexy’.”
“In my Rocky Horror Picture Show clothes? David you’re joking.” She then said a bit more frantically, “David, tell me you’re joking. You didn’t. Not with the semi-nude leather costume and wig. Oh David, how could you?”
“Relax, everything I see or do, he has access to. Remember the Ins. He was really rooting for you to give me back my memory. He said that he was on pins and needles yesterday night at the pizza parlor, especially when you walked out. He knew the unlocking code, and he almost gave it to me to race after you. Nevertheless, he felt that you had to make up your own mind. Everyone was up watching last night, when you freed my memory block. They thought you and I would be fine, but they also were worried that you might run again. At times, I’m too much. I know it. I’m such a schmuck.” David had a big frown.
“But I didn’t run. I knew I shou … Wait a second, you were transmitting last night? The whole of last night? When we made … Are you still transmitting what we’re saying to the near world?” David made a half-grin. “Turn it off NOW.”
David nodded, “Okay okay, it’s off.”
Phyllis looked at David, “David Smith-Klein, we need some ground rules here. My inner life and our discussions in private, stay in private, especially in bed.” With an evil grin, “or anyplace we make into a bed. No, seriously, I’m starting to really, really get pissed by your sending everything we say or do to your Dad and the animals. I want your word, anything private we say to one another stays between us and only us. I don’t want our private lives to be porno material for your father.”
David put up his hands, “Okay, okay. I promise. I’ll keep it between the two of us. I’ll add it to my Superego program.” He explained to her what that meant.
Phyllis started thinking. “My god, they must think I’m really a tramp, like the way I grabbed you and brought you into my room that first time we did it. How can I face your dad again?” Phyllis slumped down on the side of the bed.
David put both hands on her shoulders and started to rub them. “Relax. He really likes you. He doesn’t interfere like that with me. No, I take it back. He did strongly suggest I look at other girls when I was dating Andrea. He also told me that your directness reminded him of my mom. He was initially oblivious to my mother, until she grabbed him and they did it, on the laboratory table one midnight after a big breakthrough. All couples have their first.”
“I am never, never going to get used to this Ins thing. Never. By the way, are all the cameras and microphones off
in this room?” David nodded. They started kissing.
***
The next morning, they woke to the smell of coffee and something baking. After a quick shower together, they dressed and went downstairs. Martin was already at the table. David wore a t-shirt which said, ‘What goes up, goes – WTF’.
“I didn’t want to wake you, you guys were up till all hours a couple of nights ago, and the trip to Larchmont was exhausting.”
David, who had poured himself some juice, and was starting to butter a brioche said to Phyllis, “By the way, I have a special present for you. It should be delivered by noon. Dad, I was thinking of swinging around the electrical plant then to CompuHead manufacturing before we leave.”
“David, for security, I think I better go with you to the electrical plant. I don’t want anyone to realize who you are. Oh yeah, wear a full jacket over your t-shirt, unless you want to change it to say, ‘I invented anti-gravity’.”
***
At noon, a deliveryman brought a package to the house. David brought it to Phyllis. “I’d like to give you another present.” It was a small box, the size of a box of matches. It was enclosed with a silver finish. Phyllis turned it over and didn’t see any obvious openings.
“What’s the case?”
David smiled, “It’s for an In. The necklace I gave you yesterday provides a WiFi/cell phone uplink and has some cameras, and other things. The box is, well it’s like a computer.” David brought them to a laptop. He turned the laptop on.
“Ask it any question.”
“Okay, what time is it?” In her ear she heard the time, on the display of the laptop, a window appeared with the time.
“I can understand about my ear piece, but how did the laptop know to display the time?”
David grinned, palm down he moved his splayed fingers, waving each finger up and down, “mugga mugga Magic. Now ask it a really hard question.”
“Okay, what’s going to be on my MRI and radiography final?” She grinned.
The Infinite when it was Two Digits Old Page 11