Dear Diary...

by L. M. Reed

  ~ * * ~

  “CeeCee…please wake up.”

  “Mom, where are we?” I asked groggily.

  “We’re home and I’ve been trying to rouse you for the last ten minutes,” she said with relief in her voice. “I thought you were unconscious again.”

  “Sorry,” I said in chagrin. “I must have been really out of it.”

  Smiling once she knew I was okay Mom teased, “Good thing you woke up, otherwise you’d be sleeping in the car. Nick’s not here to carry you in like the last couple of times.”

  “He’s carried me more than once?”

  I knew about the time he had brought me home from the state meet, but I didn’t remember any other time.

  “He carried you into their apartment Friday night,” Mom said getting out of the car “and I helped you get undressed. You were dead to the world.”

  I hated that annoying phrase.

  “His poor back,” I said sympathetically.

  I was no lightweight, even though I knew I still weighed quite a bit less than normal. No psychic needed to see that a chiropractor loomed in his future.

  I got out of the car and met her around the back so we could get our suitcases out of the trunk.

  Mom laughed, “He didn’t seem to mind.”

  I felt all kinds of guilty. Mom had no idea how I felt about him or she wouldn’t have taken it all so lightly.

  We took our things up to the apartment and I headed straight for my bedroom saying, “I’m still beat, think I’ll have an early night.”

  “Good idea,” Mom stifled a yawn, “I’m glad we have all week to recover from our trip. I’m not as young as I used to be,” she added with a tinge of sadness.

  We said goodnight in the living room and went to our respective bedrooms.

  I set my suitcase on the floor and threw myself on the bed. I hadn’t been lying, I was exhausted. Closing my eyes, I decided to rest them for a bit before I unpacked.

  Opening my eyes much later, I looked at my watch and was surprised to see that it was six o’clock in the morning. I stretched and yawned and then, making a decision, I changed into my running clothes, grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge, and quietly let myself out of the apartment. Standing on the sidewalk in front of our building in the crisp spring morning air, I felt more alive than I had in a long time; it was a good feeling.

  Turning toward the school, I began to walk. Running was still out of the question, but I needed to do something. Making sure I drank the whole bottle before I returned to the apartment, I walked to the school grounds and back again.

  Even though it was only about three blocks, it was enough. I was satisfied. I could feel the strength returning to my limbs, and knew it would only be a matter of time until I could run again.

  Mom was fixing breakfast when I got back to the apartment. She looked up in surprise when I came in the front door. Noticing the water bottle, she eyed me in consternation.

  Before she had a chance to speak, I quickly reassured her, “Everything is great, Mom, I just walked to the school and back.”

  Sensing her doubt I continued, “I’m feeling so much better, I had to do something. I promise I won’t start a running schedule until the doctor okay’s it.”

  She looked slightly mollified and I wondered if she would call Nick the minute my back was turned to see what he thought. I never realized how much Mom had relied on Dad’s calming presence and common sense. She needed someone strong to take care of her. I wanted that for her, I just couldn’t help but wish that ‘someone’ had been anyone but Nick.

  After we ate, I went to my room and rested, there wasn’t much else I could do, and waited until after ten to call Felicia knowing she would finally be awake. Between her sleeping in and my afternoon naps, we were going to have a hard time squeezing in girl time. We decided that she would come over at four o’clock every day, and then stay to eat supper with us.

  At noon, Mom called me out of my bedroom for lunch. I could tell something was bothering her; she was distracted, not even paying attention to what I was eating, much less what she was.

  “Mom…?” I ventured uncertainly after having a short debate in my head, trying to decide the right thing to do and making a conscious decision to take things slowly instead of jumping in headfirst and regretting it later.

  “Hmm…?”

  Mom was off somewhere else.

  “Is something wrong?”

  “Oh, no not really, I was just thinking,” she paused a moment, “What would you think about making a trip to Austin every weekend?”

  I was startled. I guess I should have been expecting something of the sort, but I hadn’t.

  “You mean both of us?” I asked carefully.

  “I wouldn’t like leaving you here by yourself,” Mom said, “So yes I was thinking both of us. You had fun with Nick’s family these last few days didn’t you?”

  “Sure, but I don’t want to do it every weekend.”

  I searched for the right tone before continuing, “But you should go if you want to, I know I can stay at Felicia’s house while you’re gone.”

  “I’d thought of that, too,” she admitted. “Still…you could come with me whenever you felt like it.”

  “That’s fine, Mom.”

  I was relieved it had been so easy to convince her to go without me…probably because she hadn’t wanted me along in the first place as I would just end up being the third wheel.

  “I got up early this morning, so I’m going to go ahead and take my nap now if that’s okay with you. Felicia is coming around four and I want to be wide awake this time.”

  Mom nodded, distracted again.

  I needed to fall asleep right away if I planned to be awake when Felicia got there so I didn’t even bother pretending I was going to do anything other than play the all too familiar scene in my head. I closed my eyes and heard the music beginning…

  The next few days developed into a pattern, I would wake early, go for a walk, eat breakfast, rest until lunch, take a nap, visit with Felicia, eat supper, talk to Mark on the phone, and then go to bed. I missed talking to Nick, but I had no excuse to call him since Mark was available again.

  Thursday morning the routine changed to include a doctor appointment in the morning. After he completed his exam, I showed him the schedule I had written up for resuming my running and he agreed it was reasonable. As long as I continued to eat and drink enough he said I could start Friday. I was ecstatic. Mom was hesitant, but the doctor assured her that everything looked fine.

  That was enough to convince Mom that she could leave for Austin without me on Friday morning. She and Nick hadn’t been able to spend much time together the weekend we were there and I was sure they would want to make up for lost time.

  Felicia had already made plans for Friday night, but she gave her date an ultimatum…either they moved the date to the afternoon or she would have to cancel altogether. He agreed to move the date. She assured me she would be over to pick me up between five and six that evening.

  Friday morning mom was packed and ready to leave by the time I was back from my run/walk. She waited anxiously for me to return, but I was absolutely exhilarated. I never realized just how important running was to my well-being.

  Mom gave me a quick hug and kiss, told me breakfast was on the table, and, grabbing her suitcase, hurried out to the car; she wanted to beat the morning rush hour, which was always a nightmare on I75 as well as I35.

  After taking my shower, the whole day stretched ahead of me. I hadn’t opened my laptop in over a week so I went in the bedroom and brought it out to the dining room. One of the advantages to apartment living was high-speed internet. I could plug into a jack in the wall, or use their wireless.

  Although I was having problems getting a good signal with the wireless, we were too far from the main building, I could directly plug into the jack at the built-in desk in the dining room. The di
fference in speed from our old dial up was amazing.

  I decided it was time to apply to some out of state colleges. Filling out some online applications, I applied to a couple of colleges in Colorado and California. I had waited too long for a definite acceptance for the fall semester but there was still a possibility that I could get in; I would just have to wait for a spot to open.

  That was fine with me; I wasn’t ready for anyone to know what I was doing. Felicia and I had already been accepted at UT, and I would love to go there, but I wasn’t sure I could handle being that close to Nick yet. I could just stay in the DFW area, there were a lot of choices, but there was no need to worry about it until I knew what Mom planned to do.

  Startled out of my thoughts by the sound of the doorbell, I got up from the desk and hurried to the door to look out the peek hole, wondering who it could be.

  What is he doing here? I wondered in exasperation as I opened the door.

  “Hey beautiful,” Daniel greeted me as he strolled casually into the apartment.

  Surprised, I stood there with my mouth open, frozen to the spot.

  “Are you going to stand there all day with your mouth and the door open?” he teased.

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I figured since your mom was staying at my parents’ house this weekend, you might be lonely,” he answered with mock concern.

  “Does Nick know you’re here?”

  “I didn’t relish the thought of having a black eye or a broken nose, so that would be a no,” he replied. “Speaking of broken noses, I’d enjoy hearing that story. Did you really break a guy’s nose for trying to kiss you?”

  “Daniel…you shouldn’t be here.”

  “Chill, CeeCee,” Daniel said breezily, “I’m not planning on seducing you or anything. I enjoyed being with you last weekend so I thought that maybe we could do something today. I promise to leave by the time your friend comes to pick you up.”

  “Really…?” I asked suspiciously, not sure whether to believe anything he said.

  “Really,” he assured me. “I was kind of hoping you might want to go to Six Flags with me. I haven’t been in years.”

  “That actually sounds like fun,” I answered reluctantly, torn.

  “Hey, I’m a fun guy.”

  I had no doubt about that; I just wasn’t sure he was a ‘safe’ guy.

  “So if I say yes, we go to Six Flags and then you go home.”

  “Well, I probably need to bring you back here first,” he said playfully. “Unless you want to come home with me.”

  “No that’s okay, I think a day at Six Flags will be quite enough of your company for a while,” I replied firmly. “I’ll go get ready. Stay here and try to behave.”

  I heard him laugh as I shut the door.

  Pulling off my shorts and tank top, I threw on some clean jeans and a white sleeveless blouse. Sticking my cell phone and driver’s license in my back pocket and some cash in my front one, I went out to the living room to rejoin Daniel.

  He clicked his tongue at me and shook his head.

  “What?” I demanded.

  “Nothing…it’s just that I was quite enjoying your other outfit.”

  “You would,” I muttered. “Are you going to behave yourself today?”

  “Scout’s honor…”

  “That doesn’t count since you weren’t actually a boy scout,” I told him sourly, assuming since Nick hadn’t been one Daniel hadn’t either.

  “How did you do that?”

  “I’m psychic.”

  “Look CeeCee,” Daniel said with uncharacteristic sincerity, “I think we could have a lot of fun together today and I promise to behave myself. Friends…?” he held out his hand for me to shake.

  After a slight hesitation, I gave in.

  “Friends,” I agreed shaking his hand.

  I had to stifle a laugh when I saw Daniel’s red pickup shining in the sun. I should have known, I thought ruefully; it matched his personality. I preferred Nick’s black one…it was less flamboyant.

  Daniel proved to be a lighthearted companion, which I had to admit, I needed. He tried to pay my way into the amusement park, but I refused. I was not about to let it turn into a date…just two friends spending the day together.

  We rode every even remotely scary ride in the whole park. Daniel seemed to crave adventure. He insisted on riding the Shock Wave twice. We ate and drank indiscriminately, which was probably not a good idea when riding on things that turned people upside down, but I was having a blast.

  By early evening, I was tired and it was getting late. I had missed my nap, but Daniel was loath to leave. I finally convinced him that if I passed out he wouldn’t like having to face my family or his for that matter, and he quickly agreed it was time to go.

  I slept the whole way back to the apartment and awoke with a start to the feel of a pair of lips on mine, although I could easily tell they weren’t the same ones as in my dream.

  Opening my eyes, I saw that Daniel had moved over to my side of the pickup and was not behaving as he had promised. My eyes widened in surprise and I began pushing at him leaning as far away as possible against my door, which suddenly flew open. Gasping, I fell backwards out of the pickup into another pair of arms.

  “What the devil do you think you’re doing?” Nick demanded.

  “Nick,” Daniel said in shock, “What are you doing here?”

  “What do you think I’m doing here?”

  I only thought he was as angry as he could get the other day, but that was nothing compared to the red-hot fury in his eyes as he glowered at Daniel.

  “I couldn’t get CeeCee to answer her phone; I called Felicia and discovered that she couldn’t even find her. Of all the irresponsible, immature, idiotic things…”

  “Nick,” I tried to turn around to face him, but he was gripping me too tightly. “It was my fault, too, for agreeing to go with him, and you’re cutting off the circulation in my arms.”

  He immediately released me.

  “Time just got away from us,” I said in a placating voice. “We didn’t mean to cause anyone to worry.”

  I felt horrible that he had driven three hours because of my irresponsibility.

  “Get inside,” he said peremptorily. “I’ll deal with you next.”

  I didn’t have it in me to argue. I went. Daniel was going to have to fight his own battles; mine was going to be tough enough to deal with.

  I changed clothes, longing for a shower, but I knew that would take too long and I didn’t want to do anything else that would set Nick off. Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I discovered the battery had discharged. No wonder I hadn’t heard it ring or felt a vibration.

  About five minutes later, Nick came through the front door. He was practically growling. I was going to take whatever he saw fit to dish out, knowing I deserved it.

  “Are Mom and Mark angry with me?” I asked with uncharacteristic timidity.

  “They don’t know,” he replied abruptly.

  “But how did you…?”

  “I told you, I have been trying to call you all day,” he replied tersely. “I finally gave up and called Felicia. She dumped her date early to try to find you. Neither of us could get you to answer your phone, so here I am.”

  “I should call Felicia…” I began.

  “I already did,” Nick interrupted me. “She’s on her way here.”

  “Nick, I’m so sorry,” I said disconsolately, “I just didn’t stop to think. My cell phone battery apparently died and I didn’t know it.”

  “You should have known better,” he said in disgust. “I don’t expect any better from your boyfriend. Responsibility has never been high on his list of priorities. ”

  “He’s not my boyfriend,” I denied vehemently. “We’re just friends,” I mumbled, realizing how lame that sounded.

  Nick looked like he wanted to continue on his
rant but changed his mind, his face softening.

  “CeeCee,” Nick said gently, “If you needed a friend, why didn’t you call me?”

  “I didn’t call him,” I looked up in astonishment, “He just showed up this morning. I know I shouldn’t have gone, it wore me out so badly I slept all the way back here, but I hadn’t done anything like that in a long time and it was fun.”

  Nick looked thoughtful for a moment.

  “What would you think if I stayed the night here in the apartment and tomorrow we do something a little less strenuous but just as fun,” he asked with a smile in his voice as well as on his face.

  “But don’t you think you should get back home?” I asked, wondering how he would explain his absence to my mother.

  “I don’t have anything planned for the rest of today,” he assured me. “How about it?”

  “I’d love that,” I responded without thinking. “Could we…?” I stopped abruptly.

  “Could we…what?”

  “Nothing, I…you’ll think I’m silly,” I mumbled in embarrassment.

  “You are a lot of things, CeeCee,” Nick teased, “But I have never known silly to be one of them. What were you going to say? You know I’ll get it out of you eventually so you might as well surrender now.”

  “I’ve never been to a zoo,” I said quickly, not meeting his eyes, “I just wondered if…”

  “As afraid of dogs as your mom is,” Nick responded, “I’m not surprised. Hmm, I’m thinking the Fort Worth Zoo would be best, it’s my favorite in this area and it will be easier for you. The Dallas one has a lot of uphill walking.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “CeeCee,” Nick said in exasperation, “Veterinarian,” he continued pointing to himself then qualified, “well in a month and a half I will be. My dad took us to every zoo in the state, and quite a few out of state ones, while we were growing up.”

  I laughed. I hadn’t thought of that.

  A knock interrupted us. Felicia let me have it as soon as I opened the door.

  “You had better not ever scare me like that again!” she reprimanded me severely.

  “Sorry.”

  I was sorry, but I was also having a hard time not laughing. Felicia in full spate was quite a sight to see.

  “Where is this Daniel? I want to give him a piece of my mind!”

  “Sorry to spoil your rant,” Nick said apologetically, “But I sent him home.”

  “A good thing, too,” Felicia huffed, “Or else you might have been minus a brother.”

  “I can see that,” Nick smiled. “You look like me about fifteen minutes ago.”

  “Felicia,” I said soothingly, “I’m sorry I didn’t know my phone battery had gone dead, but I’m fine and I would greatly appreciate you not having a stroke.”

  Felicia took a few breaths to calm down and then looked a little sheepish.

  “Sorry,” she apologized in turn, “I was just so worried about you.”

  “CeeCee has promised never to do anything like that again,” Nick assured her.

  “And she needs to stay miles away from that Daniel character,” Felicia declared. “He just better pray that he never meets me!”