Blue Love : Blue Valley High — Senior Year

by Mj Fields

  “I won’t hold you up.” I muss up his hair then force myself to look at Mom. “See ya, Mom.”

  “I love you, Tessa Ann,” Mom, who is clearly shaken, says softly.

  At first, I don’t want to say it back, but I don’t want this to affect Kendall and Jake, so I respond, “I love you, too.”

  And I do, but I’m so freaking pissed.

  By the time I get back to the truck, Lucas and Tommy are walking out.

  Lucas walks up to me, looking truly concerned, which doesn’t sit well with me. “You okay?”

  I look away. “I’m fine.” The butterflies begin dancing in my belly. “Sorry about all that. It’s just—”

  “Don’t be.” Lucas takes my hand, walking us away from Jade and Tommy.

  When he stops, he turns and looks at me, his eyes narrowed slightly. “Not that your point- proving kind of kiss wasn’t great—it was—but I’d really like to try it again. You know, a kiss for us, not for the hundred people who were standing around.”

  I feel my eyes widen as he lifts my chin with just a finger, and then I smash my eyes shut, unable to look at him and not feel … dizzy.

  He kisses my lips gently then moves to my cheek then back to my lips. He then slides his tongue across my lower lip before sucking it between his full, soft, hot lips.

  I inhale a sharp breath as my head spins and attempt to step back, but both of his hands are softly yet firmly holding the sides of my face, and he is pushing his tongue inside my open mouth again, gently exploring.

  I attempt to break the kiss, and not because I don’t like it, but because I do. Too much. However, he cups the back of my head, and I finally decide to allow myself to truly kiss him back.

  When I rub my tongue against his, he groans as he slides his hand down my head, coming to rest on my lower back, as our tongues caress one another’s.

  It’s him now who attempts to pull away, lightly dragging his teeth down my tongue. Then he releases it and kisses me softly again, this time without tongue, parting his lips slightly so they cover mine once more, and then over and over again.

  I like that, too, but I desperately want his tongue again.

  Catching his lower lip between my teeth as he did mine, then slipping my tongue between his parted lips, I slowly explore his mouth until my head is spinning. But again, it’s Lucas who pulls away.

  Needing to catch my breath, and fearful my weak knees may buckle, I slowly allow my eyes to flutter open and am quickly struck with the reality that we are not alone.

  Face aflame, I close my eyes, and he pulls my head against his chest. I can feel his heartbeat against my cheek.

  “Damn, Tessa,” he whispers. “So hot.”

  Unable to reply and not wanting to do anything but live in the moment, the glorious moment after my first kiss, I sigh, and he pulls me even closer now.

  Someone clears their throat, and Lucas and I both look over to see Jade and Tommy looking at us.

  Face red, Jade’s voice squeaks when she asks, “You ready to go?”

  I step back and look at Lucas.

  He smiles and nods toward my truck. “See you tonight, birthday girl.”

  Still on cloud twelve—his jersey number—I walk over and climb into the truck. Then I look at Jade as she climbs in. Neither of us say a word as I start the truck and put it in drive. Then I see his sweatshirt sitting there on the seat, folded.

  I pull up next to his car, where he and Tommy are leaning against it. I toss the sweatshirt out the window, and he catches it.

  “I washed it.”

  “Why are you giving it back?” he asks, a slight V forming between his dark brows.

  I shrug. “It doesn’t smell like you anymore.”

  His delicious lips curve up, and the V vanishes as I pull my shades down, lift my chin, and then hit the gas.

  “Holy. Shit,” Jade gasps as we pull out onto Main Street. “And again, I say, holy. Shit.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it.” I reach up to turn on the radio.

  “No need. I’m pretty sure I felt it.” Jade laughs, and then so do I as I turn up the radio and Pearl Jam’s “Even Flow” blasts through the truck’s cab.

  Not a word is said about the kiss as we drive up the hill and pull into the driveway, but Jade breaks the silence when we walk into the farmhouse.

  “Did Lucas tell you that Alex invited him and Tommy to camp with them tonight?”

  “What? You’re kidding me!”

  Jade laughs. “Oh, that’s right, he wouldn’t have had a chance to tell you anything with his tongue lodged down your throat.”

  “Jade, seriously, why? Did he say why?” I begin to panic.

  “Nope. All I know is that they had to agree to go to church in the morning with us.” She laughs.

  I gasp, “And they did?”

  “Yeah, Tommy had to call his parents to make sure it was all right to miss church with them, and they said yes.” Jade beams like this is a good thing.

  Feeling completely like the fool that I am, I walk around in circles, flipping out inside, because I thought I had until Monday to deal with my actions.

  Finally, I stop and start toward the stairs. “So much to do.”

  “No, we’re all set,” Jade calls as she follows me up the stairs.

  I empty my school bag on the bed and grab a duffle from underneath.

  “I need to pack.”

  “I swear to you that Alex and I have it covered.” She laughs as I throw clothes in my duffle then head back down the stairs.

  Jade and I go through the house together, gathering flashlights, blankets, and snacks. Then I stop in front of the liquor cabinet and grab a bottle of peach Schnapps.

  Jade shakes her head. “What are you doing, Tessa?”

  “It’s my birthday party, and I may want a drink. I may also want my favorite cousin to have a drink with me.” I shrug like it’s an everyday occurrence. It’s not. But today is far from every day.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tessa—”

  “It may not be, Jade, but it’s my eighteenth birthday and, apparently I’m breaking all the rules.”

  Chapter Six

  When we pulled down the road toward the pond, there were fresh tracks leading down past the pond toward the camp.

  Jade grins. “The white hat boys are here.”

  “Speaking of, did you notice the blooming bromance between Ryan, Tommy, and Lucas?”

  She pushes out her lower lip and says, “Yeah. That makes me happy.”

  “Me, too.” I smile as we approach the narrow roadway through the trees and see tents set up.

  “The boys must have been here and gone.” Jade says as I pull up beside the camp.

  “Let’s unload then, shall we?” I push the door open and hop out.

  Inside, we clean up a bit. It’s dusty in here and needs a good cleaning. But that won’t happen, not today, anyway.

  “I’m going to wipe things down. You mind unpacking the bags and hiding the Schnapps?” I ask.

  “Are we really going to drink?”

  “Maybe.” I laugh, grabbing a cloth from my bag and wetting it under the sink.

  We unload the truck and are setting up inside with music blasting when Alex, Tommy, Lucas, Becca, and Phoebe walk in with their arms full of grocery bags, so Jade turns it down.

  Tommy winks at her, and then the guys start talking football.

  “We heard about this the entire way here from Ryan,” Becca grumbles.

  “They won,” Phoebe says with a smile. “Let them have at least another minute before we shut them down.”

  I laugh. “I swear I like you more and more every day.”

  “Don’t worry, Jade.” She puts her hands in the air. “I know where I stand.”

  “That’s good.” Jade attempts to give her an intimidating look, and we all laugh. “What can I say? I suck at mean.”

  While they continue to talk, I grab a cardboard box that someone must have broken down and wipe th
e dust off it before tearing the bottom free then pull a marker out of the camp junk drawer and start to turn things around.

  When I finish, I set it on the counter.

  Lucas is the first one to notice it, and he chuckles.

  I arch a brow, and he fakes surprise as I clear my throat to get their attention.

  Alex laughs. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “My dearest brother, today, we watched an almost three-hour game. I have to suffer having a chaperone that is just a year older than I am, who invited friends to join him. While you’re in here for the next eighteen hours, it’s Doe Camp. No testosterone-driven kill stories, no farting, no burping, and absolutely no more football today.”

  Alex shakes his head. “Is that so?”

  I nod. “As a matter of fact, I’ve decided you’re not my chaperone tonight; you’re my servant. You may find yourself painting our toenails.”

  “I am absolutely positive that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say.” Lucas laughs.

  “If you would keep your tongue out of her mouth long enough, you may find she’s quite the conversationalist.” Jade giggles.

  Alex covers his ears. “I don’t want to hear anymore, but it best not move any further than that.”

  “Seriously,” I gasp as I scowl at Jade and Alex. Then I feel green eyes boring into me and look over at him, shaking my head. He smiles.

  “All right, boys, the princess has spoken, so let’s go cook some grub,” Alex concedes.

  “What’s for dinner?” I ask.

  “It’s a surprise,” he answers as they all walk out the door.

  “What’s this about a tongue down your throat?” Phoebe immediately asks.

  “Let me give you all the details.” Jade sighs, covering her heart. “I had a front row seat for the second act.”

  Jade gives them the account, kindly leaving out the parts about the fight with Mom after the game. Then she talks forever about how much of a gentleman Tommy is, unlike his best friend’s hedonistic self—her words, not mine.

  “Did you like it, Tessa?” Phoebe asks. “I mean, did he kiss okay? Did he taste nasty? Did you want to push him off you?”

  The way she asks kind of breaks my heart. No kiss should feel like that.

  I shake my head. “He tasted hot and sweet, a little like cinnamon. To be honest, I didn’t want him to stop. I wish it could have lasted even longer.”

  From behind me, I hear someone clear their throat, and by the looks on the girls’ faces, I know who it is. There is absolutely no way of backtracking now.

  I groan, palming my face.

  “Dinner is ready, ladies.” His tone? Clearly amused.

  The girls start filing out, and I try to get it together to follow them. When I’m almost in the clear, an arm juts out in front of me, stopping me from leaving.

  “Let me pass, Lucas. Let me walk out of here and pretend you didn’t hear that.” I hate that my voice sounds shaky.

  “Look at me, please,” Lucas whispers softly.

  I do, to avoid feeling any more like a child than I do right now.

  “You are so cute right now. Can I ask you a question?”

  I square my shoulders and look him right in the eyes. “Only if I can look away so I don’t throw up on your feet.”

  He tries to hold back his laugh but fails.

  “You’re an ass,” I hiss, trying to duck under his arm.

  He grabs me and positions me in front of him, but he’s gracious enough, so my back is to his front. “Is that better?”

  I nod.

  “Okay, now my question: how many guys have been lucky enough to kiss you?”

  I think for a minute then answer firmly. “Five.”

  He laughs out loud, and I elbow him hard in the gut.

  He grunts, and with amusement still in his voice, he chuckles. “Tessa, don’t be angry with me.”

  How could I not be, you ass?

  “One more question?”

  “Sure, and when you’re done, there’s a gun in my closet and bullets in the drawer over there. Make it a quick shot to the temple, would you?”

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake, it’s not that bad, is it?”

  “Not for you,” I huff.

  “How many were not related to you?”

  What an ass.

  “None of your business.” I pull away from him, but he reaches around me, his hand now splayed across my belly.

  “I want to know.” His voice is suddenly gentler.

  “Fine. None. That was my first real kiss, Lucas. Are you happy?”

  “I’m so fucking happy,” he says, his breath hot against my neck. “I’ve kissed a lot of girls, and you are, by far, my favorite. So curious, so receptive, and so incredibly hot. Thank you for answering my questions. Will you look at me now?” He lets go.

  “I don’t know,” I answer honestly as my heart rapid-fires in my chest.

  “Can I take your hand and walk with you to dinner?”

  “No, you can race me.” I lunge toward the door and rush outside.

  Laughing, he follows me but stays behind.

  When we get to the table, Lucas sits next to me. When a dish is passed, Lucas spoons the food onto my plate.

  We have all my favorite dishes—crab legs, with corn on the cob, and an assortment of salads.

  When dinner is done, Becca and Phoebe grab blankets and lay them on the ground near the bonfire, and us girls sit together and talk as music plays in the background while Alex and Lucas stand by the fire.

  I look around and notice Jade and Tommy have been missing for some time, but obviously saying such will make Alex aware. I wonder if Lucas is chatting him up to divert his attention. Honestly, I’m not sure how that makes me feel.

  Then Jade walks out of the dark, holding up my pale blue notebook. “I brought the book.”

  My Birthday Wish book.

  “Oh, hell no.” I start to jump up, but Becca holds me down.

  “We do this every year.”

  “In my freaking bedroom,” I defend myself.

  “Fine.” Jade laughs as I jump up and grab at the stupid thing. “We can do this at Doe Camp … after cake.”

  After they all sing “Happy Birthday,” which is totally embarrassing on its own, and I blow out the candles, it gets even worse.

  “Presents before cake!” Jade announces.

  I cover my face with my hands. “Jade, I’m not twelve. It’s seriously not necessary.”

  When it’s immediate family, I enjoy gifts. I especially like giving gifts. Receiving in a situation like this, I hate them. Not because they aren’t appreciated, because they are. I just never feel like I can justly express enough gratitude, and it makes me feel pretty much the same as the dream when I got on the school bus naked—terrified.

  I feel his eyes on me and glance at him from between my fingers. The corner of his mouth twitches up in a shit-ass half-grin. I roll my eyes, and then he grins.

  “Mine first!” Jade exclaims, setting the hot pink package, with a little gift tag on it that says, “Happy Birthday,” in front of me. “Open it!”

  I unwrap the paper and peel the tape closure on the box. Inside, beneath hot pink tissue paper, is a gift certificate for the movies, my favorite winter activity, and the Pearl Jam cassette. Beneath it, a framed picture of her and me at the concert this past summer.

  “Thank you so much.” I hold the picture close to my chest.

  The next two are cards; one from Phoebe and one from Becca. Phoebe’s contains a gift certificate for a manicure.

  “You’ll have to go with me.”

  “I’d love that.” She smiles.

  I smile back. “Me, too.”

  I open Becca’s card, and there’s a gift certificate for a pedicure.

  “Looks like we’ll all be getting mani-pedi’s together?” I ask Becca.

  “Most definitely.”

  “Thank you all so—”

  “Mine next.” Tommy slides a card in front of me.


  “Oh my God, you didn’t have to.”

  “You only turn eighteen once. And eighteen has been the best year of my life so far.” He smiles at Jade.

  I open his card and see a gift certificate for Greek Peak, a ski resort a few towns over.

  “Not much to do around here in the winter,” he explains.

  “I love it.” I smile, setting it in the pile. “Now cake—”

  A large package, covered in shiny blue paper, is placed in front of me. “One more.”

  “You didn’t have to.” I blush. I freaking hate blushing.

  “From what I hear, he shoved his tongue in your mouth so, yeah, he did,” Alex says, and I throw daggers at him with my eyes. He shrugs. “Just stating a fact.”

  “And I am just going to ignore you,” I grumble, carefully peeling back the paper.

  I sigh when I see a quilted backpack, in different shades of blues and greens.

  “Thank you,” I whisper as I look at it.

  “You should unzip it,” Tommy advises.

  So, I do.

  Inside the bag is a teddy bear wearing a football jersey. Adorable. The fact that I already know it smells like him makes me smile. Beneath it is the sweatshirt I returned to him just a few hours ago and a note that says: READ ME LATER.

  “Thank you so much, everyone. I truly appreciate it.”

  And I hope they know I do.

  “Group hug!” Jade cheers.

  After cake and making a fire in the fireplace, the guys make their way out, and at Jade’s insistence, we open the book and read every embarrassing wish I wrote for year seventeen—where I see myself in five years, and then ten.

  “A handsome husband who adores me and dances with me when the kids go to bed,” I read. “Three kids, two boys and a girl, and—”

  “This is adorable.” Phoebe claps. “Do you have names?”

  I say no, but Jade rats me out.

  “One boy has to have the name CJ.”

  “Oh my God, shut up, Jade.” I laugh.

  “Oh no, now you have to tell us: why CJ?” Becca insists.

  “I have no idea,” I lie.

  “Her first crush. Some kid she met on a mission trip—”

  “It wasn’t a mission trip, and it wasn’t a crush,” I interrupt Jade.