Blue Love : Blue Valley High — Senior Year

by Mj Fields

  Walking toward the house, I look back. “Oh, and by the way, I was never a very big football fan, but the quarterback is awesome and superhot in those tight pants.”

  Sitting at the table, eating the hot fudge sundae that they brought home for me, the phone rings. I pick it up.

  “We may as well super glue that to her hand,” Alex jokes.

  I stick out my tongue at him and answer, “Hello?”

  “Made it home, baby.” His voice is deep and much more relaxed.

  “Thanks for letting me know.”

  “Of course.”

  Holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder, I grab my sundae, walk to the door, open it, and then make sure it’s closed behind me. “Thank you for trusting me.”

  “Do me a favor and give me the same back.”

  “Always be honest with me, and I always will.” I sit down and set my sundae on the porch.

  “Always, huh?” he says with a smile in his voice. “You make my head spin, Tessa Ross. Gonna be real honest with you and tell you I’m falling hard and fast.”

  Falling hard and fast, I think as the stupid smile spreads across my face.

  “Awkward silence. We okay?” he asks.

  Feeling a bit dizzy, I close my eyes and sit back. “Of course.”

  “Okay then. Goodnight.”

  “Lucas?”

  “Yeah?”

  I whisper, “Me, too.”

  He laughs softly. “Seriously making me sweat that out?”

  “Sweet dreams.” I smile, even though he can’t see it.

  Mom picks up the kids and tells Dad that she’ll have to bring them back early because she was called in to do some overtime at the hospital, which causes him to get stone-faced. He never liked when she took on extra shifts, and that is clearly one thing that hasn’t changed.

  Once they’re gone, I begin cleaning. I crank up the family boom box and ignore the song currently playing as I grab the dusting polish and cloth.

  “Falling from number fourteen to number sixteen on this week’s chart is ‘Rain’ by Madonna.”

  I drop the cloth and spray then head up the stairs to get my notebook. This song gets a star.

  The phone rings, and with the music being so loud and the vacuum cleaner running, I’m surprised I hear it.

  I answer, and Jade yells, “Are you ready?”

  “For?” I ask, shutting off the vacuum cleaner.

  “Number one. And I swear it’s going to be a sign, because as I told you before, Casey Kassem is seriously a prophet from God above.”

  I shake my head and laugh at her. “I’m more a Dick Clark girl, but—”

  Jade squeals, “I told you! It’s totally a sign!”

  Then she begins singing along with Mariah Carey’s “Dream Lover,” and I can’t help but join in.

  When the song ends, she says, “Okay, I have to go, but I’ll be down around six.”

  “Okay?”

  “Oh, shoot, I forgot to tell you; our guys are taking us on a double date.” She squeals again. “It’s already double dad approved!”

  “What!”

  “Kisses,” she sing-songs then hangs up.

  And now I’m freaking out on the inside.

  Chapter Nine

  Jade hugs me tightly as soon as she walks into the kitchen where I am just putting things away from cleaning, which happened to be overkill today but expunged a massive amount of nervous energy.

  “I’m spending the night.”

  “Okay.” I laugh, stepping out of her way.

  “Come on; we have prepping to do,” she calls to me. “And you need a shower.”

  While I’m showering, Jade does her hair and makeup, telling me all about week one with Tommy. She tells me about the notes, the poems, and that he calls her pretty girl. The last part, I knew, which totally reminds me of a parrot, but Lucas calls me baby, so it is … whatever.

  “He goes to church every Sunday with his parents and sisters, who are older than him. His parents own a chain of convenience stores in Ithaca and towns farther south of it. He works at some of them part-time. And Tessa, I know he’s the one. I can feel it.”

  I turn off the water, wrap my hair, and grab a robe.

  “You aren’t saying anything. You don’t think he’s the one? You—”

  “No.” I push the shower curtain back and step out. “I didn’t say that. I just hope it’s a feeling in your heart and not because Prophet Kassem has spoken.”

  She shakes her head. “Last night, when he was holding you back, and the way he was sweet to you. Then when you left, he was worried; that’s what sealed the deal. No boy will ever be okay for me unless they love you, too.”

  I hug her, because, well, she’s seriously amazing and because I hope, for her, that he is the one. “Forever lasts a long time, so go slow, okay?”

  “Now you.” She grins.

  “We kind of played a game.” I start to tell her all about Mom’s place.

  “A game?” she asks, as if it’s scandalous.

  I feed into that but can’t help laughing as I joke. “Naked Twister, and he won. You should see the rules for what the loser has to give up at the end.”

  “Tessa, seriously?” She swats my arm. “Tell me!”

  “Okay, I told him that I liked the kissing thing but really wanted to get to know him. We compromised. Each question answered got a kiss. It was very … enlightening.”

  Jade grins. “You are so bad, Tessa.”

  Then I tell her about our conversation on the phone last night.

  “He’s falling fast and hard? That’s so cute. Too bad he has baggage, huh? And the baggage followed him here, too. That’s a total downer.”

  “Sadi has major issues. But I’m not worried about it. We’ll be fine, or we won’t. We’ll see.” I look in the mirror, searching for her reaction. She’s concerned, but at least she doesn’t think I’m being delusional. “What are you wearing tonight?”

  “Not sure. What are you thinking?” Jade asks, continuing to primp.

  I shake my head and giggle. “Something that shows off the goods I’ve been hiding all summer. I have boobs now, Jade. And I have you tonight, so I’m safe.”

  She claps. “I think you should wear your long, black skirt with that hot pink V-neck top, and your black, cropped jacket with your cowgirl boots, hair down and straight. I’ll put some makeup on you, too.”

  “Okay, but only light makeup. The clothes are going to be stepping far enough out on a limb. Full makeup would seriously push me right off it.”

  “I can do that.”

  “And what are you wearing?”

  “This.” Jade pulls out a red, knee-length halter dress and a black denim jacket. “With black heels.”

  “Beautiful.”

  “Okay, now get your hair dried, and then I’ll use my magic makeup wands to enhance your natural beauty.”

  I roll my eyes but do as she says.

  When we’re done getting ready, we look in the mirror.

  “We look dope.” Jade smiles then bends down and ruffles through her bag before pulling out her camera. “Let’s try to take a picture in the mirror.” She holds it up.

  I laugh. “Seriously vain.”

  “I’d take pictures of myself all day if I could get rid of the glare and know that the angle was right.”

  The camera spits out the picture, and she starts fanning it. When the gray fades, there is totally a glare.

  After two more, she sets the camera down. “Someday, someone better figure this shit out. Tommy always asks for pictures of me.”

  We walk out to the kitchen, hand in hand, a united front against, as Jade calls them, the double dads, and their possible disapproval.

  When neither flips, I can’t lie and say it wasn’t a little disappointing.

  “It’s about time.” Jake sighs in exaggeration as he stands up and walks past us.

  Kendall grins. “You two both look so pretty.”

  Dad musses up her hair. “Wh
ere did my little Tomboy go?” But he’s looking at me.

  When Lucas and Tommy pull in, we both beeline for the door to make sure to avoid an embarrassing “Dad cleaning the gun” situation.

  Lucas doesn’t even look me over—also a bit disappointing. He looks me straight in the eyes as he holds the door open for Tommy and Jade.

  “He’s got to be uncomfortable back there,” I whisper to him.

  “Yeah, well, I want you by me,” Lucas says, pulling his Tom Cruise in Top Gun style sunglasses over his eyes.

  He holds my hand as we drive and doesn’t say much at all. I seriously hope “disappointment” isn’t the theme for tonight.

  Pulling into the parking lot of Dock Side, I get butterflies.

  “Fancy,” Jade says, leaning between the seats as she looks at the restaurant.

  “You Ross girls deserve the best,” Tommy says as Lucas parks the vehicle and kills the engine.

  Once Tommy unfolds himself from the back seat and takes Jade’s hand, Lucas locks the door and reaches for mine.

  I step back.

  “Tessa?” he asks.

  “Look, I know I’m new to this dating thing, and dates in general, but if they don’t involve conversation, or at the very least—” I smash my lips together before I say, Tell me I look nice, for heaven’s sake, and shake my head. “Never mind.”

  “No, not never mind. Sorry I haven’t said much, but the thoughts running through my head are not that of hearts and flowers. Actually, I’m a bit thrown.” He motions up and down to me. “Christ, are you trying to kill me?”

  “What?” I half-laugh.

  He steps forward, erasing the space between us, and grabs both my hands. “You still want honesty?”

  Unable to speak, I simply nod.

  “You’re fire right now, which is some bullshit. So, instead of telling you how fucking good you look, I’ve been conversing with my dick this whole ride.”

  “Wha-wha-what?”

  “Sit, boy. Down, boy. Stop straining your neck to look at her, boy. Play dead, boy. Shit like that so I don’t walk into this place with a hard-on.”

  I swear my mouth is hitting pavement.

  “You and I are taking it real slow. I’m more than good with that. But that doesn’t mean you can just walk in a house less than twenty-four hours ago, in jeans and a baggy sweatshirt, and then walk out that same door like a runway model and expect me to not get worked up. I’m not perfect, Tessa—certainly not good enough for you—but I’m trying.”

  Still, I can’t find words.

  “We good?” he asks firmly.

  I nod.

  He turns around, my hand in his, walking with a purpose toward the restaurant, where Jade and Tommy are waiting for us. Finally, I find my words.

  “Then you better untuck that shirt and put away that ass.”

  He almost stumbles as he looks back, his jaw now unhinged.

  I walk past him, square my shoulders, and whisper, “Virgin, not an idiot, and certainly not blind.”

  As soon as we walk in, we are led through double oak doors, through a bar, and onto the back deck that overlooks Cayuga Lake, next to an outdoor fireplace.

  The hostess takes the little card that says “Reserved” off the table and smiles at Tommy.

  Lucas and Tommy pull the chairs out for Jade and me, who share smiles as we sit down. The hostess then hands us the menus and excuses herself.

  “You look great every day, but wow, Jade, just wow.” Tommy smiles as he looks her over.

  “You sure? You didn’t say anything this whole time, and I thought—”

  Looking at my menu, I say it is as serious as a heart attack, “He was talking to puppies.”

  Lucas laughs. “Dogs, baby, not puppies.”

  “What?” Jade asks, confused.

  The waitress appears at the perfect time, setting a bottle of wine in the middle of the table then four glasses of water before us and asks, “Do you need more time, or are you ready to order?”

  “We’ll need a few more minutes,” Lucas says.

  I look over as Tommy’s eyes rake over Jade.

  “Pretty girl, look at you. You turned into Pretty Woman tonight.”

  Jade chokes on her water.

  Patting her back, Tommy asks, “You okay?”

  Jade whispers, “You do know that Pretty Woman is a movie about a hooker, don’t you?”

  “Um, no. You know I didn’t mean that, right?” Then he leans in closer and whispers, but we still hear him, “You watch porn?”

  “No!” Jade gasps as she stands and walks to me, hand extended. “Can we go to the bathroom, please?”

  Once in the bathroom, Jade tells me what Tommy said. I don’t have the heart to interrupt her and tell her that I heard it all. And honestly, it’s way more funny coming from her retelling. Laughing, I tell her about the parking lot.

  We both use the restroom, wash our hands, and once we get it together, we rejoin our guys.

  Both of them stand and pull out our chairs again, and we sit, feeling much less alone in our awkwardness.

  “Funny, right?” Lucas whispers in my ear as he pushes in my chair.

  “Sure is.”

  We order dinner, and the waitress opens the bottle of wine, offering a glass to each of us … minors at the table. Jade and I look at each other, clearly both wondering what to do.

  “We’re all set for now,” Lucas tells her, and she sets it down.

  Once she leaves the table, Lucas and Tommy excuse themselves to use the restroom, and Jade and I both giggle.

  “They think we’re twenty-one,” Jade whispers.

  “Because we look so dope,” I use her phrase from earlier.

  When she laughs a little too loudly, as Jade does when she is nervous, I whisper, “Shh …” as I look around.

  In looking around, I notice something odd. A woman who looks a lot like my mother is sitting in the dark corner of the deck … with a man.

  It can’t be!

  On closer examination, I realize it is Mom, and I also notice him holding her hand.

  “We just need time apart …” “You don’t know what I’ve lived through for those years.”

  Everything Mom has told me, and I assume my siblings, is a lie. Everything I’ve been brought up to believe—a joke. Everything I have avoided with Lucas, because I was almost ashamed of … the feelings I’ve all but convinced myself were nerves … Hell, I even told myself they were butterflies! Well, they weren’t just in my belly. Everything was bullshit!

  I look away and vow to refuse to live like this anymore, refuse to hold myself to her standards, ones in which she doesn’t even hold herself to. Then I grab the bottle of wine, pour myself a glass, and drink it down before Jade can even say a thing.

  It tastes dry and disgusting, but so what? Maybe my fucking taste buds have been brainwashed, too. Then I pour myself another.

  “Tessa,” Jade whispers, “what are you doing?”

  I ignore her as I down the second glass, looking at Mom, part of me hoping she sees me. I reach for the bottle again, and Jade reaches for it, too. I’m quicker and pour myself another.

  “What the hell are you doing? This isn’t like you.”

  “I’m being naughty.” I hold up the glass. “And liking it.”

  The first swallow causes my stomach to lurch, but I force myself to finish.

  Reaching for the bottle again, so does Jade … again.

  “If you touch that, I’ll scream, and we’ll all get in trouble. Leave it alone.”

  I pour the fourth glass, almost emptying the bottle, as Lucas returns.

  Afraid he, too, will try to stop me, I lift the glass and gulp it down.

  “Oh my God, Tessa,” Jade whispers.

  I look back at her and see that she’s not looking at me. She sees Mom.

  “Tessa, let’s go to the bathroom.” Jade stands. “Now.”

  I sway a bit when I stand and focus really hard on my footing, as well as attempting to sho
ve hurt behind pissed in my head, and my heart.

  Once inside the bathroom, Jade hugs me. “Oh, Tessa, I’m sorry.”

  “Fuck that.” I bark out a laugh.

  When Jade opens the bathroom door, I ask, “What are you doing?”

  She holds the door shut but leans out and talks to someone.

  “If that’s her, let her come in here. I have a few things to say to her.”

  Jade steps in and shuts the door. “Do you have to pee?”

  “Pee.” I laugh. “Pee!”

  “Okay, let’s go.”

  Dizzy, I’m so fucking dizzy that I watch my feet as I walk out into the restaurant’s hall. Focused, so focused that, when fresh air hits my face, I look up and realize …

  “Why are we outside?”

  “Many reasons. One being your mom is in there.”

  “Your aunt.” I laugh. She doesn’t.

  “Another, you’re a minor and, oh yes, let’s not forget you signed a sports contract promising not to freaking drink!”

  “Hey, ladies,” I hear Lucas and feel that stupid grin spread across my face.

  “I’ll go get Tommy. You watch her.” She scowls at me before I turn away.

  Once she’s gone, I turn and look at him.

  He’s looking me over, eyes narrowed. “You good?”

  I step toward him and link my hands behind his neck. “You tell me.” Then I kiss him. Not only do I kiss him, but I pull myself up and wrap my legs around him while kissing him.

  “Easy, tiger.” He laughs in amusement. “Jade, what the hell is going on?”

  “Jade?”

  I look behind me, still wrapped around him.

  She rolls her eyes. “Well, obviously, my cousin is drunk, and just so you know, this is a first for her.”

  I lean in and whisper, “You’re going to be my first.”

  His eyes smile, and then … Jade pulls me down from him.

  Music starts playing in the background, through outdoor speakers, and I decide it’s time to dance, between cars, in the parking lot.

  “Lucas, come dance with me, and I’ll tell you all about it.” I curl my finger at him, thinking I’m being all sexy, and not caring if I’m not.

  “Jade, can you get my purse? Grab some money out and pay for my first bottle of wine. Oh, and be my best friend and grab me another?”