Blue Love : Blue Valley High — Senior Year

by Mj Fields

  Field hockey practice ends with me being exhausted, which was the point. I ran back to the school in record time and quickly hurried into the locker room to change, opting out on taking a shower until I get home, to avoid the football team. Knowing how pumped they are about the scouts, and knowing that not only Lucas, but Tommy, has aspirations for playing football in college, and that Alex is excited to have something more than straight A’s to add to his college resume, I don’t want my mood to be a burden. Also knowing Lucas’s father and sisters are coming, and regardless of what he’s done, I know he deserves this. After the game and his family visit, I can finally be done with this.

  I hurry to the truck and look around for Jade. She said she’d be out here after saying goodbye to Tommy, and Alex is always the first out, yet here I stand, waiting for them, overwhelmed and feeling like I could begin crying at any moment.

  One more day, I whisper to myself, trying to hold it together. One more day.

  I climb in the truck, pull my knees up, and hide my face in them.

  “Tessa, what the hell is going on with you?” Lucas’s voice startles me. “Are you sick? Do you need to see a doctor, baby?” He opens the door and reaches in to touch my forehead.

  “Don’t.” I jerk my head away.

  “Okay, Tessa, sorry.” He looks confused but also concerned. “I need to know what is wrong.”

  You are what’s wrong. You and your games.

  “I have my period and don’t feel well,” I lie, hoping the menstrual cycle will have him running for the hills.

  “Oh, okay.” He doesn’t run; he leans in and whispers, “Do you get like this usually? I mean, is this normal?”

  I glare at him. “No.”

  He holds his hand against his chest, over where a heart would lie, if he actually had one. “Okay.”

  “Lucas, come up for dinner. Tessa put a roast in the crockpot big enough to feed an army,” Alex offers as he walks toward the truck.

  Are you kidding me?

  “Sounds good,” Lucas says. “You all right with that, Tessa?”

  “I’m probably just going to bed anyway, but you’re more than welcome, bud,” I say through clenched teeth.

  He looks amused as hell at that, and then he shakes his head. “Ride with me?”

  “I would rather not move.”

  “All right.” He smiles as he closes the door then walks to his car.

  “Tessa, what’s going on with you?” Alex asks.

  “I have my period,” I tell him, knowing damn well it freaks him out.

  Alex cringes. “Gross.”

  We pull in the driveway, and I all but throw myself out of the truck before it’s even in park and hurry to the house.

  Chewy bounds up to me and pounces. I quickly swoop him up in my arms and snuggle him, whispering, “Missed you, boy.”

  When Lucas and Alex walk in, Chewy sees him and goes crazy.

  “Daddy’s home, huh, boy.” Lucas holds his hands out, winking at me as Chewy squirms in my arms.

  “Traitor,” I whisper as I hand him over before heading over and checking on dinner.

  I open the lid and shove a fork in it.

  “Is it done yet?” Jake calls from the mudroom. “I’m starving.”

  I look back and see them all wrapped in towels and cringe when Kendall asks, “Did you tell Lucas about the hot tub?”

  “I forgot.”

  “That’s cool.” Lucas reaches over and messes up Kendall’s hair.

  Unable to stop myself, I say, “Yeah, Lucas likes hot tubs, don’t you?”

  When I look back, he looks hurt, and the fact I did that hurting gives me zero pleasure.

  “Wash up; dinner’s ready,” I announce.

  I grab plates out of the cupboard and scoop roast, potatoes, carrots, onions, and celery onto each plate.

  “Sorry, baby,” he whispers. “We do need to talk about that sometime soon, okay?”

  “Spare me the details, please.” I walk around him and set Kendall’s and Jake’s plates on the table.

  After pushing the food around on my plate and deciding there is no way I can eat because the lump in my throat, the one that’s holding back all the tears and emotions, is in the way.

  “Please excuse me,” I say, standing up, putting my plate on the counter, and then heading to the living room.

  When I lay on the couch, I hear Dad whisper, “What’s wrong with Tessa?”

  “She has her period,” Alex grumbles.

  “Does she always act like this when that happens?” Lucas whispers, and I want so badly to kick him in the nuts.

  “No,” Alex and Dad say at the same time.

  When I hear them all begin to push away from the table, all I can think about is Lucas leaving and being able to finally crawl in a corner and cry, which is exactly what I need to do to wash away some of this horrible day. But he doesn’t. Lucas offers to help clean up.

  I listen as he, Kendall, and Jake wash dishes, and they go on and on about Chewy and his progress with training.

  “Well, I would love to help him with that when football season is over,” Lucas offers.

  Why, why, why?

  To make it even worse, instead of leaving, he says he’s going to come and say goodbye to me.

  I roll to my side, facing the back of the couch, and promptly pretend to sleep.

  He sits beside me and kisses my cheek. “Goodnight, baby. I love you,” he whispers in my ear before standing and leaving the room.

  I listen as he says goodnight to everyone, including Chewy, and then he leaves.

  When I roll over, I hear the crunching of paper. I sit up and look around.

  He left another note.

  Day 7 without Tessa Ross has been odd. I don’t understand woman things, but I’m here anytime you need me. Just like you have been for me.

  LYA,

  Lucas

  Tears flood my eyes, and I hurry to the bathroom to cry in the shower.

  When I walk back out, Dad asks, “You okay?”

  “Yeah, Dad.” I give him a kiss on the head. “You?”

  “Your brothers and sister are loving the hot tub, but you haven’t spent a second in the thing.”

  “When field hockey’s done, I will.”

  The phone rings, and Dad chuckles as grabs the newspaper and opens it. “Might as well grab that.”

  “Can you?” I ask.

  “Avoiding Lucas,” he mumbles as he grabs the phone and answers it. “Ross family, John speaking.” He pauses. “Yep, she’s right here.” He hands me the phone, and I give him the stink eye. He replies by rolling his.

  “Hello?” I whisper.

  “Hello, angel. I had a minute between study sessions and was thinking about you.”

  “Toby,” I whisper as I walk to the front door and step outside.

  “How are things?”

  “Things are all right. I miss you. When will you be home again?”

  “Thanksgiving, and not soon enough. Just a short stay.”

  “Ugh, I can’t wait to see you.” And I seriously can’t.

  “Sorry, angel.”

  “Not your fault. I’m proud of you. You’re a good man, Toby Green.”

  “Feels good to hear you say that, Miss Ross.”

  “Green!” I hear someone call his name in the background.

  “Thanks, angel. I love hearing your voice, but duty calls.”

  “Chat later, then?”

  “Of course. Night, angel.”

  Tossing and turning in bed, I can’t help but compare the two of them again. Lucas makes me lose my mind. Hell, I don’t even know who I am half the time. I feel like the world is spinning faster and faster whenever I’m around him.

  Toby stops the spinning, grounds me, and I can truly tell him anything. It blows my mind that he didn’t seem surprised when I told him about the kiss in the hallway, and even more so that he seems to understand Lucas and appears to feel compassion for him in a way.

  It’s three i
n the morning when I finally fall asleep, and before I do, I turn off the alarm and leave a note for Alex that I’ll be going into school late, due to … my period.

  I decided to avoid lunch and most of my classes with Lucas by going in super late.

  Opening my locker to grab my books, a note drops out.

  Very worried about you, baby. I need to know you’re okay.

  LYA,

  Lucas

  Yeah, I’m freaking great, I mumble flippantly.

  Arms snake around my waist from behind, and I feel like I want to vomit.

  “I know you don’t feel well, but I need a hug or a kiss. I’m a ball of nerves right now. I want SU to choose me so I can stay close to you.”

  Selfish ass, I think, but I lean into his hug just the same.

  Turning me, he says, “Tommy, too, for Jade, ya know.” He then wraps his arms tighter around me and kisses my forehead, and my world starts spinning faster, but I don’t want to enjoy it. No, I want to drop to my knees and beg for it to stop. But I allow him to lift my chin, and then he lightly kisses my lips before pulling me into a tighter hug and burying his face into my neck, like this is perfectly normal.

  It’s not, and neither is the fact that I allow it. In fact, I hug him back, knowing this is the last time I will ever allow it again. The last time I will feel his arms around me, holding me, making my heart beat so fast, so hard, that it feels like it may explode. Now I know for certain that it’s not beating because of the love I think I felt for him; it’s beating because it’s trying to escape so it doesn’t get broken.

  I pull back and give him a kiss, and he immediately relaxes, the total opposite of what I feel. And then I kiss him again, hoping to leave him wanting more so that I’m not alone in the misery.

  His tongue slices through mine, and he gently begins exploring my mouth. I don’t reciprocate. I don’t want to remember how he tastes.

  Little voices come from behind me, screeching, “There he is!”

  Lucas smiles as he breaks our kiss. “Time to meet the family.”

  Before I can react, he turns around, squats down, and opens his arms as two beautiful little girls jump in his arms. Then he stands and spins them in a circle, both giggling as he tells them, “I missed you two.” He sets them on their feet.

  “Lucas, is this your princess?” one of them asks.

  “One of the three.” He winks.

  Or four or thirteen.

  I manage to hold in my thoughts and smile. “Hello, Ally and Alexandra. I’m Tessa.”

  Lucas kindly points to them as I say their names.

  “She’s beautiful,” Alexandra tells Lucas.

  “And you both are, too. And very sweet.”

  “Where’s the doggy that’s always with you?” Ally asks.

  “What?” I laugh.

  “I showed them the picture of you and Chewy when I was in Jersey.” Lucas winks. “Chewy’s at Tessa’s house. He doesn’t go to school yet. He’s too young.”

  God, he looks so different. Younger, innocent even.

  “Tessa, this is my father, Landon, and my stepmother, Audrianna,” he says.

  Lucas’s father looks like I imagine Lucas will in twenty years—handsome and tall with dark, clean-cut hair and amazing green eyes. And Audrianna is beautiful, as well, with gray eyes and straight blonde hair.

  I wave. “Pleasure to meet you.”

  His father looks me up and down, making me feel like I’m being judged at the county fair.

  Audri, however, steps forward and hugs me. “It’s wonderful to meet you, Tessa. It’s nice to put a face to the name of the girl who has made Lucas so happy.”

  “Thank you.”

  “She’s beautiful, Lucas.” Landon nods his approval. “Good job, son. Would you like to join us for dinner before the game, Tessa?”

  “No, thank you,” I whisper.

  Landon looks at me as if he’s annoyed.

  Lucas steps in. “Tessa hasn’t been feeling well for the past couple days. She just got done with hockey practice. She should probably go home and rest before the game. You are coming to the game right, baby?”

  Big girl pants, I remind myself.

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  “She’s not pregnant, is she, Lucas?” Landon asks bluntly.

  My jaw nearly hits the ground.

  “Dad,” Lucas sneers, “quite the opposite.”

  Holy shit! Did he just tell his father I have my period?

  “Okay, we have managed to make Tessa uncomfortable in less than five minutes. Let’s get in the car and wait for Lucas.” Audrianna hugs me again and whispers in my ear, “I am so sorry for that. He can be such an ass.”

  I whisper back, “No need to apologize.”

  “I want you to know that Lucas loves you, and I see him finally. He hasn’t had the best role model, so again, thank you.” Audrianna kisses my cheek before turning and taking the girls’ hands.

  “Well, hello, Landon, Audrianna, girls,” Sadi says as she approaches. “I see you’ve met the farm girl. No offense, Tessa.”

  “None taken, Sadi.” I roll my eyes.

  “Sadi, you look beautiful.” Landon literally beams.

  “And you, Mr. Links, are hot as hell, as always.” Sadi laughs.

  I catch Lucas looking at Audrianna, his eyes narrowed.

  Audrianna shakes her head. “Let’s go, girls.”

  “She isn’t a princess, Tessa,” Ally whispers, and a laugh bursts from my lips.

  I lean down and whisper, “She’s a nasty, old troll.”

  Both girls laugh then hug me.

  “Will you bring the doggy tonight?” Ally sweetly asks.

  “I don’t know. He may be very busy doing doggy stuff, but I will certainly ask him.”

  “Don’t be long, Lucas. Girls, let’s go. Nice to meet you, Tessa.” Landon turns and walks toward the car.

  “Sorry about that, baby.” Lucas hugs me. “The girls love you almost as much as I do.”

  I don’t reply.

  “I hope you feel better soon. Can we get together after the game?”

  “Maybe, if you win.” I force a smile at him.

  “She smiles, thank God.” Lucas kisses me sweetly as his father honks the horn, breaking up the kiss.

  “See you tonight.” He reaches into his bag, grabs his away Jersey, then hands it to me. “Will you wear this tonight?”

  I want to scream, hell no.

  “Sure, Lucas, anything for you.”

  He kisses me again before walking away, backward, smiling at me.

  Chest tightening, I clench his jersey in my hand and remind myself, Just one more night, one more game, and then I can stop pretending.

  When I return home, I call the pet store and get a breakdown of each item that Lucas bought for Chewy so that I can pay him back. I have enough money from my birthday to pay him fully.

  I decide not to disappoint Lucas’s sisters and bring Chewy with me. I also bring a lawn chair, therefore avoiding the bleachers and using Chewy as an excuse. Kendall and Jake sit with me.

  It doesn’t matter where we sit when we watch the game, it’s absolutely amazing. Another shutout by the Saints, and they end their regular season undefeated.

  Jake grabs Chewy’s leash and heads for the field at the end of the game. Kendall and I follow. When Jake drops the leash, and the little fuzz ball takes off through the crowd, all three of us chase after him.

  When we find him, he’s pulling at Lucas’s laces, his sisters already on the ground, going crazy over him.

  “Sorry about that.” I squat down by them and take his leash, giving him enough slack to still act a fool. “I think he was excited to meet you both. I told him all about the two pretty princesses.”

  As they play with him, I watch a man in SU apparel approach them.

  “That was an awesome game, boys.” He shakes Alex’s, Tommy’s, and Lucas’s hands. “How long have you three played together?”

  “Tommy an
d I played together all through high school. Our schools merged, and we started playing with Alex this fall. Alex, this is your first year playing, right?” Lucas asks.

  Alex nods.

  “Unbelievable, right?” Lucas asks the scout.

  “None of you play like high school students. You men, all three of you, were amazing out there.” He then looks directly at Lucas. “How are your grades?”

  Again, Lucas speaks, “All National Honor Society, but Alex is first in our class as of right now … until I beat him.” He winks at Alex.

  “Amazing, so do you also play basketball?” he asks, and all three nod their heads. “Don’t go getting injured. You’ll be hearing from me soon.” He shakes Lucas’s hand firmly.

  I give Alex a hug, and he spins me around. “We did good, right?”

  “Good?” I laugh. “Understatement of senior year.”

  When he sets me down, I see Mom and Dad next to Lucas’s family.

  “Alex, is it?” Landon asks. “You did great. How do you know Tessa?”

  “She’s my sister, sir,” Alex answers.

  “Oh, okay.” Landon looks relieved, and it hits me. He thought Alex and I were … gross.

  “Thank you for getting him here.” Alex nods to the SU recruiter walking away.

  “No problem.” Landon smiles.

  Lucas is staring at me, so I lean over. “Good game, rock star.”

  He snatches me up and kisses me softly but firmly.

  “My parents,” I remind him.

  “Oh, sorry, Tessa.” Lucas puts me down but takes my hand.

  “Dad, Audrianna, this is John and Maggie Ross, Tessa and Alex’s parents. This is Kendall and Jake, but her sister Molly isn’t here. They’re Tessa’s family. This is my father, Landon; stepmother, Audrianna; and these two are Princesses Ally and Alexandra.”

  Lucas’s sisters smile and curtsy. “How do you do?”

  “Very well, thank you.” Kendall curtsies back and giggles.

  While our families chat, Lucas pulls me aside.

  His eyes drop to my chest, as I knew they would, and then back to my eyes. “What are you doing tonight?”

  “Not that.”

  “Tessa, you’re not wearing a bra.” He pulls me into him. “And damn you feel good.” He runs lazy lines up and down my back, his body against mine. He feels so good against me, too good. I’m going to miss this so much.