by Mj Fields
I also wake up in his arms again.
I easily slide out of bed but spend a lot of time just watching him sleep, knowing that, between me and everything crazy going on around him, he has more than likely lost more sleep than I can imagine.
I quickly pull my nightshirt off, put on my black bra, and throw on a light blue, ribbed turtleneck. Then I step out of a pair of undies and step into black lacey boy shorts.
It surprises me how much I love the feeling of being desired and hope that, with sexy underclothes, I can feel that way without the touching.
“That’s one heck of a sight to wake up to,” Lucas whispers, startling me.
I quickly bend down and grab the jean skirt that I chose to wear today. Yes, a skirt. It may not be my norm, but the jean part is. I figure it’ll help me work my way to a skirt that’s not denim someday.
“That’s just as good.” The bed squeaks as he stands up.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. I don’t think I’ve let you get much sleep lately,” I tell him.
“Please, don’t apologize. I wish I could wake up to that every day of my life, friend.”
His hair is messy, and his perfectly ripped upper body is bare.
Me, too, I think as I pull him in for a friendly thank you hug.
“Oh,” I gasp when I feel his erection against me. “You had better go … I don’t know … take care of that before anyone wakes up.” Then I rush him out the door and close it behind him.
Within minutes, I hear Dad head up the stairs to turn off my alarm.
“Oops,” Dad mumbles beyond the door. “Must have forgotten to turn it on.”
“Tessa,” Kendall whispers.
“I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” I whisper as I hurry toward her bed.
“Yes. If he’s going to come in here every night, maybe you should wear more pajamas.”
“I’m so sorry, Kendall. It won’t happen again.”
“It’s okay. I won’t tell. He makes you stop crying. He’s not doing anything wrong. But you need to wear more pajamas, okay?”
“Okay, Kendall.” I lean down and push her hair away from her face. “Go back to sleep. You have another hour.”
When I walk out, Lucas is waiting in the hallway.
“Thank you,” I whisper as he pulls me in and gives me an erection-free hug.
Lips against the top of my head, he whispers, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
Then we walk downstairs and part ways. He heads to the bathroom, and I head to the kitchen to throw in the cinnamon rolls that Kendall and I mixed up to refrigerate overnight.
Once I’ve cut them up and put them in the oven, Lucas walks out and asks, “Can I hug you?”
Smiling, I hug him. “I think, after the game Friday night, we should invite some people up to camp.” Alex walks into the kitchen, and I step back. “What do you think about camp Friday night, Alex?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Alex says on a yawn.
After we all stuff ourselves with cinnamon rolls, we head to school.
Jade, Phoebe, and I ride with my parents and siblings to the game. And, due to traffic, we get there minutes before the game starts. I look out at the field as we make our way to our seats and notice that every player on the other team is big, like Alex, Ryan, Lucas, and Tommy big, and the rest of our team … is so not. Like our teams’ stars, they look like college athletes.
Once at our seats, I shove two fingers in my mouth and whistle. Alex looks up, and I wave. Then I watch as he elbows Lucas, who blows out an obvious breath then smiles.
Kendall smiles softly. “Looks like he was waiting on you.”
I wrap my arm around her. “Us. They were waiting on us. We’re all family.”
I then blow a kiss, and Kendall giggles.
“Was that for our family?”
I mess up her hair and laugh. “It sure was.”
I hear my name from the direction we just came and glance over.
Lucas’s sisters come running toward me.
I open my arms and hug them. “Hello, princesses.”
As they begin asking me about Chewy, I interrupt, “Your brother is looking up here at you two.”
He waves, and they yell his name and wave back. Then they take off their coats, exposing jerseys that say, “Team Links.” Totally adorable.
“How are you doing, Tessa?” Audri asks, hugging me.
“I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m actually kind of wonderful.” She smiles. “Thanks to you, I think Lucas gave me some great advice, so thank you.”
Landon walks over, his arms full of snacks and little pom poms for the girls. “Hello, Tessa.” He looks at me and scowls, “What happened to your head?”
I shrug. “Championship field hockey game.”
“Did you win?”
“Yes.”
“Way to go,” Landon says, patting me on the shoulder. “Lucas and Audrianna tell me that you were pretty pissed off at my son the last time we met. I would have never known. Tell me, why did you act like nothing was bothering you?”
“I wanted him to win, and apparently, I’m a good actress.”
He looks me up and down, in a different way now, then asks, “Are you acting now, with everything that has come to light?”
“No, Mr. Links. I know your son is a great guy, and forgive me if I sound, well, my age, but I love him and want what’s best for him, regardless of what is happening. We’re friends, and I hope we always will be.”
“That isn’t typical of your age, Tessa … Thank you.” Landon shocks me by leaning forward and hugging me, arms full.
The game started as expected—fiercely. Lucas was sacked for the first time all season. The opposing team obviously spent a lot of time on watching their tapes and knew the Saints were big on passing and blocked almost every chance Lucas had to do so. At the end of the first quarter, Lucas threw a forty-yard pass to Tommy, and he made the first touchdown of the game. He held up his J, and Jade smiled.
By halftime, they were tied. Landon got up and walked toward a row of what looked like college scouts and shook their hands, playing what I assume is the game anyone whose high school son is being scouted should play.
Me? My stomach is in knots with worry about him. Alex, Tommy, and Ryan can only do so much to protect him.
“You okay?” Mom asks.
“Give me a helmet and pads, and I’d feel better,” I admit.
Audrianna grips my shoulder from behind and gives it a squeeze.
The beginning of the second half, Lucas passes the ball at the fifty-yard line and another first occurs—an interception.
I cringe. “Shit.”
“Mouth, Tessa Ross,” Mom scolds as Lucas pivots and runs after number 72, leaving the rest of both teams in his dust.
At the ten, Lucas tackles him, and the ball is loose. Lucas recovers it.
The whole Blue Valley side of the bleaches erupts in cheers. No one sits back down until the quarter changes. The rest of the game is Watkins against Lucas.
“I think I love Tommy, too,” I yell over the crowd to Jade, because Tommy is like a fucking animal, throwing down everyone who tries to sack him, and Alex … well, Alex catches a pass and makes a touchdown, tying the game in the last minute.
“Lot of game left.” Landon claps. “Lot of game.”
Ryan makes a killer play, intercepting the ball and running it back to the five.
On our feet, we watch as Lucas pulls his arm back to pass to Alex and gets tagged by an opposing player, spins in a circle, but before falling, he tosses the ball to Ryan, who dives over two of Watkins’ players and into the end-zone.
The stadium erupts again, and Jade grabs me and Phoebe, pulling us toward the stairs. Screaming and laughing, we run down and rush the field with the rest of the Blue Valley’s fans.
I run to Alex first then stop when I realize Phoebe should be the first to him.
I look around and see Lucas pushing through his gaggle of
groupies and hurrying toward me. I meet him halfway, and as he lifts me, I wrap my arms around him.
“You are seriously amazing. Great game, rock star.”
He smashes his lips against mine, and I can’t help but smile against them while I wiggle out of his arms.
Smiling at each other, both like idiots, I see his dad walk up behind him and grip his shoulder.
I nod, and Lucas turns, and then he and his father hug.
“You played your best game today, son. I’m so proud of you.”
“Feels like I played my first.” Lucas laughs. “Gonna feel like it tomorrow when this adrenaline wears off, too.”
Then the nails on the chalkboard, the cold bucket of water, the worst thing you could imagine at the worst possible time, shows up. She pushes up on her toes and kisses his cheek. “Great job, Lucas.”
“Thanks,” he says, looking right through her and toward his team.
He looks at Landon, who has the best poker face in the world, and I want to kiss him because, this time, I can tell he’s here for his son, because he doesn’t even acknowledge Sadi.
Landon nods, and Lucas looks in that direction. His sisters and Audri are coming for him, all smiling as they shake pom poms.
I bet Sadi wishes she brought hers … bitch.
Number 72 from the other team runs up, smiling. “Good game, guys.”
He looks at me. “Your boyfriend kicked my ass out there today, Ross.”
“He’s not her boyfriend,” Sadi says loudly.
He smiles, winks, and looks me up and down. “Good to know. See you in two weeks, Tess.”
“So, did you tell her yet?” Sadi asks Lucas.
I answer for him, so he doesn’t have to deal with her shit right now when he should be celebrating. “Sadi, of course he told me. We are friends, remember?”
“So, he told you we had sex when he was living at your house?” Sadi sneers at me.
I turn and walk away before I lose my shit and punch a lying pregnant bitch.
As I get closer to my family, I see number 72 standing with them and find it odd until I see a man I recognize with him.
“Hey, Tessa, do you remember this guy?” Dad asks.
I give 72 an apologetic look. “No, sorry, I don’t.”
“His dad comes up every year for a week and hunts with us. He’s joining him this year, too,” Dad announces.
I nod to him. “Cool.”
He puts his arm around my shoulder. “Tess, you’re breaking my heart. How could you forget me?” He laughs. “We used to shoot bow together.”
Gasping, I turn and look at him. “Benji?”
He grins. “You ready for me?”
“I used to kick your butt. I hope you’ve gotten better.”
“We’ll see.” He steps back and looks me over. “Damn, you’ve changed.”
I roll my eyes.
“No boyfriend, Ross?” Ben asks.
“Nope.”
“Great. Then you’re going to have to let me take you out some night,” Ben says. “As in a date.”
“I guess it all depends on how well you shoot. I certainly couldn’t go out with someone whose butt I can kick.” I lift my nose in the air. “And you’re going to have to redeem yourself after that play.”
We both laugh, and then he pulls me into a one-armed hug.
Lucas walks toward us, eyes all masked up.
I nod toward Ben. “Lucas, this is Ben.”
Ben unwraps his arm from me and holds out his hand. Lucas reluctantly shakes it.
“Hey, Lucas, this one didn’t remember me. Our fathers went to college together. They hunt together every year, and Tess here”—Ben puts his arm back around me—“used to kick my ass when we shot bow. Do you hunt?”
Lucas nods. “I will be this year.”
“Great. Then I’ll see you both in a week.” He looks back at me. “And you can bet your ass I’m gonna win that date.”
After he walks away, I smile at Lucas, who’s still all masked up, and tell him, “I got you and Alex something, so when you get back, check in your glove box. I’ll be setting up at camp.” I reach out and give his hand a squeeze. “See you later.”
I’m pulling out the cupcakes I made earlier as Jade sets plates on the counter, Phoebe stirs the chili, and Becca dumps ice in an ice bucket that Aunt Josie let us have—when she turned a blind eye to us carrying beer out the back door—that says “Budweiser” on it as the guys walk in.
The people we invited from the game all begin whistling and cheering. The entire team lights up. Well, everyone except Lucas.
He’s looking at me, and he looks incredibly uneasy. I assume he’s grieving the loss of all we planned for tonight, but it is what it is. I smile and hold up the cupcake with his Jersey number on it and the piped white frosting that says, “ROCK STAR,” and grin big and stupidly. His lips twitch as he walks toward me, and I set his cupcake back on the platter.
“Cheer up, buttercup.” I hip-check him and start to walk past him.
He grabs my hand. “We need to talk.” Then he pulls me outside.
Once outside, he lets go of my hand and pulls the necklace out from under his hoodie. “First of all, I love the necklace. Thank you.”
I smile. “You deserve—”
“You don’t have to pretend with me, okay? It’s killing me, Tessa. I know I deserve for you to be pissed. I deserve it. So, stop holding back. Give me what I deserve.”
Confused, I tilt my head.
“You held it together at the game after she told you. And even though it was a mistake and you and I aren’t together anymore, I respect you enough that I want to explain. I want you to know I was fucked up.”
When realization hits, the pain from what he’s saying hits me so hard that all I can manage to say is, “Oh.”
He begins, “It meant nothing.”
It meant nothing? It. Meant. Nothing?
“You slept with her?” My voice squeaks, and I swallow bitter tears. “Again? When? Why?”
After his nod, he frantically tries to explain, but I hear nothing but the blood boiling inside of me. When he finally closes his mouth, I manage to force a smile, which I am sure looks more like a sneer, and say, “Okay, then.” Then I turn to walk away.
“Tessa, wait,” he says, grabbing my elbow.
I jack it away and turn. “Do. Not. Touch. Me.”
“Tessa, baby, it was just—”
I hold up a hand, telling him to stop. “Lucas, I’m not sure what you want me to say. Should I congratulate you on your ability to manage stress by getting high? Or give you an atta boy because women throw themselves at you?” I bark out a disgusted laugh. “Although I would hardly call that a woman?” At this moment, I realize the sound of blood boiling happens right before rage happens. “Or maybe I should scold you on your problem controlling this?” I step to him, reach down, grab his dick, and squeeze so damn hard as I stare him dead in the eyes. Then I let go and step back. “You have a problem. A couple of them, actually. But I’m not yours, and you are absolutely not mine.”
I turn to leave, and he again grabs my elbow.
“Don’t you touch me. You make me sick.”
“Tessa, I love you. I’m sorry.”
The fact that I know him well enough to know he believes that calls pity for him and makes me realize I’m fucking pitiful myself.
“I still want you to be okay. I care deeply for you, and I will pray, Lucas, that someday you can see how wrong you are about your feelings for me if you could do that. If you could fuck her. Our friendship was never a friendship, because I loved you so much more than that, no matter the hurt it caused me. But that’s where I was wrong. I said one thing and wanted something else desperately. I was hurt then. Now I feel betrayed and disgusted at myself. You should be ashamed of yourself; I certainly am ashamed of myself. You won’t lie to me again, because now that I know you’ve lied to me, and yours—”
“I’ve never lied to you, Tessa.”
I turn and walk toward camp, huffing, “I suppose not. How very noble of you.”
I walk inside and find Jade.
She looks at me and immediately asks, “Tessa, what’s wrong?”
“Tell Tommy that Lucas needs a friend right now.” I clear my throat. “And Jade, right now I need to fall apart, so can you meet me at the pond after you see that Tommy takes care of Lucas?”
Chapter Thirty Four
Tessa stayed with her mother for two days. The first day, Sunday, was Halloween, and I went with Tommy to his church, just to give her a break. When I returned later that afternoon, she was gone. From what I gathered, from all the kids who showed up on the Ross’s family’s porch, Tessa was missed by more than just me. All the little ghouls and goblins asked where she was. John or Alex explained she took Kendall and Jake out with Maggie.
John and Alex also treated me no damn differently than they ever had. I have a suspicion they don’t know, and that pisses me off because she should be able to count on them, and I am single-handedly fucking that up.
The next day, at school, she didn’t have to avoid me. I came into class last minute and left first. Lunch and study hall, I spent a lot of time at the gym.
After school, I spent three hours with Coach Saville and the guidance counselor, applying for colleges. To be honest, they did everything for me. I just sat there, numb.
When I leave school, Sadi is in the parking lot, pulling up right next to my vehicle.
She steps out of her car, and I brush past her.
When she grabs my arm, I pull it away.
“You do not want to deal with me right now, Sadi.”
“Real mature,” she huffs.
I turn and point a finger in her face. “Mature? You want to counsel me on maturity?” I snap my mouth shut, not wanting the vile things dancing on the tip of my tongue to drip out, so I give it to her straight. “As the girl carrying my child”—I hit myself in the chest—“I do not want to let loose on you, but you listen, and you fucking hear me, Sadi. You will not win against me, and I do not want my win to cause my kid to live a life where he or she is stuck in the middle of an eighteen-year battle, so you better back the fuck down and start by understanding that I have no choice but to live at the Ross’s, so get that you’re hurting me more than you’re hurting Tessa with your bullshit, and that is not something you want to do.”