Peter began to sob, only, unlike his words, his sobs were audible.
“Please let me help you.”
Larsen saw Peter’s mouth moving. His image was still faded, just like some of the old photographs of him in Kathryn’s albums. Then, for the first time, Peter spoke aloud. “What happened to him? He didn’t die with me. I’ve waited here for him.”
Feeling a rush, Larsen knew Peter was asking about Ernest Carrow. He hadn’t anticipated that as being a concern of Peter’s. It seemed so obvious now, but he had overlooked it in his many musings about a situation that he could barely understand. “Ernie didn’t die when you did, Peter. His father tried to kill you both, but only you died.”
“Bring him here.”
Larsen stammered. “I-I can’t bring him here, Peter. Ernie … um, Ernest Carrow died two years ago. You might find this ironic … um, I know I do … but he was choked to death by a ghost.”
Peter’s image became sharper as the shock of Larsen’s words registered on his face, begging Larsen to explain.
“Willard Carrow made Ernie’s life a living hell. He forced him to pretend to be heterosexual and marry a woman. He even had a daughter, Eve. But by that time, after seeing you die in that theater and knowing that his father had killed you out of hate and tried to kill him as well, Ernie became every bit as mean as his father. I’m sorry, Peter. He grew up to be a really bad person. He was the principal at the high school. When Eve got pregnant as a teenager, he killed her boyfriend and set another guy up to take the fall. Almost eighteen years later, the ghost of the guy he murdered killed him.”
Peter’s sobs intensified as he realized he had waited forty years for someone he could never see again. “I wanted to see him. Just once more. It happened so quickly. No good-byes.”
“I know, Peter. I’m sorry. But your mother is still here, and she would love to see you. I’d really like to arrange that for you, if you’d let me. Remember I told you that the theater is opening in January? That’s only a little more than two weeks away. We’re going to have a talent competition on opening night. Did I tell you that? It will be harder for you to stay here after that. People will be around all the time. But you don’t want to stay here anymore, do you? You can’t possibly want that. This is no life—I mean, death—for you. You deserve eternal peace.”
Larsen felt unsteady. He wasn’t sure what he was saying. He felt like he was pulling dialogue from every ghost movie or TV show he’d ever seen. Did he sound completely ridiculous? He had no idea if his words made sense only to him, or if Peter was taking them to heart the way he had intended.
Peter stood stoically in one place. His head turned only slightly to look at Muggins, who had sat there staring at him the entire time. Larsen looked at the dog. “Hey, boy. You’ve been so quiet I forgot you were with me.”
“I’ll never see him again. I waited for him.”
“I’m so sorry, Peter. I’m sorry about what happened to Ernie, and I’m sorry he did such terrible things to other people. But that’s the truth.”
“He was good. He made me happy. He had so much love in his heart.”
Larsen frowned. “I believe you. But I’m afraid that Ernie’s ability to love died when you did.”
“I waited so long.”
“I know, Peter, but do you …”
Muggins barked as the room became warm again. Larsen knew he’d have to try again another day. Peter was gone. He felt drained as he walked over to the kitchen area and grabbed the tape measure. “C’mon, boy, let’s do some measuring for your mom.”
“Woof!”
Wearily, Larsen looked at his four-legged friend. “Woof to you, too.”
`*`*`*`
“You know, Lars, when you didn’t come back right away, something in my gut told me you were talking to Peter.” Arielle typed some information into an online form as she spoke.
“Mrs. D, Peter has been waiting forty years for Ernie Carrow to come back. He can’t understand that the boy he loved named Ernie became a horrible man named Ernest.”
Arielle turned around to face Larsen at his desk. “Well said. Did you ask him about seeing his mother?”
Larsen began filing a stack of receipts on his desk as he spoke. “Yeah, I did, but he seemed to be in shock about Ernie. I couldn’t get any further in the conversation after I gave him such bad news.”
“You’ll just have to try again. Today is Friday already. Time is flying by. Maybe you can talk to him on Monday. I don’t want you to come in on Tuesday. It’s Christmas Eve. If you can’t find Peter on Monday, you’ll just have to keep trying. I guess he has to process what happened to Ernie. If I waited forty years for someone and got that kind of news, I’d sure have to pause and reflect, you know? So, were you able to actually see him?”
“Yeah, I was over by the old sets, and he was sort of in the rehearsal space. Just standing there. He wasn’t clear like you or … um, I mean, he wasn’t clear, but I could see him. And I heard his voice today.”
“You did? How amazing! That must mean he’s beginning to trust you. You know, now that I think about it, when I saw him on the stage, he seemed faded, too. But he was too far away, and I think my brain just told me it was because of the plaster dust or something. I know; it’s crazy. Nothing makes sense, and everything makes sense at the same time.” Arielle paused. “By the way, it’s been so busy that I haven’t had time to talk to you about something very important. I want you to stay on as my assistant here after the theater opens, if you would. I’m not sure what your plans are after you graduate.”
“First, of course I’ll stay on. I’d love to! As for school, I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’m applying to UCLA and some other theater schools, but unless I get a scholarship and some financial aid, I don’t see how I can do it. If anything, I need to earn all I can.”
“Fantastic. By the way, those vintage posters you ordered will be back from the framers after Christmas. I’m counting on you to help me decide where to hang them.”
“Really? I’d love to help with that. You know, Mrs. D, I almost just asked you if you could fit one more seat at your Christmas breakfast table.”
“For who, Lars?”
“Peter. It’s really weird, but he’s not like a ghost to me at all.”
Chapter 29
River held Avalon’s phone in his hands and looked down at it with great interest. “When you said you could paint, you didn’t tell me you can really paint! This is beautiful. This house looks like it could tell many stories.”
Standing outside by the main doors of the school, Avalon was keenly aware that Gina would be coming along soon and probably wouldn’t be happy to see her talking to River. But she put it out of her mind as best she could. “Oh, it can tell stories. That’s our home on Kensington Avenue in Jersey City.”
“Was this drawn from a photo?”
“Sort of. But I turned summer into winter and added the two people outside. I think living in the desert has made me appreciate the cold weather more.”
“Did your dad sell the house when you moved out here?”
“No, he rented it out for a year. He’s hoping that if Erik finds a good job when he gets back, he can live there with Carrie Lynn and their baby. Plus, there’s an apartment on the third floor that’s always been rented out.”
“That’s nice to know that your family home isn’t gone.”
“Yeah, it is. And I don’t like to sound selfish, but I hope Erik and Carrie Lynn do live there so I can move back after graduation. I feel like a fish out of water here, Riv.”
“Well, this area isn’t exactly known for its abundant water. Sorry, I didn’t mean to make a joke out of the way you feel. Any more paintings?”
“There’s one more.”
River took his middle finger and swiped the screen from left to right. “Oh, wow!” He reverse pinched the screen to see the details in Avalon’s painting. “You are a genius. You paint like someone who’s been studying for a lifetime. What a ki
ck-ass painting of New York City!”
“Yeah, we’ve got the best view in Jersey City. That’s from Liberty State Park. You probably know that’s the Hudson River.”
River looked at Avalon and smiled.
“Oh, yeah. I forgot. You’re real smart, and you know everything.”
“Ha ha. That’s what I want people to believe. But since my name is River, I’ve made it my business to know all of the main rivers of the world, numero uno River being myself. I’m the real Rio Grande.”
Avalon giggled. “I totally know you’re not kidding. And, yeah, of course you would know all the rivers. It’s so you.”
River was mesmerized by what he saw on the screen. “This is seriously good, Avalon. I want to ask you something, if that’s okay.”
Avalon pushed a green strand of hair away from her eyes. “You can ask me anything you want. You know I trust you.”
River lowered his voice. “So, just wondering: since you’ve been painting again, have you painted any premonitions?”
“Nope. Nothing’s come to me. I’ve just been painting from my photographs of back home and from my memories, too. Feels good to paint and helps with the homesickness and the breakup. But if I do feel compelled to paint something, I’m not going to fight it. I’ll go with it, you know? I’m tired of dealing with bullshit and being afraid of things … and people.” Avalon wiped a few beads of sweat from her brow. “I’m glad we only had a half day today. I’m sick of this school and this freakin’ desert. Being here is just plain weird. It’s tripping me out being hot as hell in December.”
“Yeah. I can get why you painted the old Jersey homestead with snow. I have to take a look at that again.” River swiped left on the phone. “This is great. So much character.”
“Hi, Avalon. Is something special happening on your phone? Is there a party going on here?” Gina, who had just come outside, smiled and put an arm around River’s waist.
“Just showing River my paintings. That’s all. Erik is probably waiting by his car for me. Have a merry Christmas. See ya next year.” Before River could respond, Avalon hurried away.
Gina could see the look of concern on River’s face and worried that she had let her jealousy show. “Hey, Riv. How’s my guy? My mom asked me to make sure that you’re coming to our house for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow.”
Distracted, River’s eyes followed Avalon into the distance as he watched her get into Erik’s car. Realizing that Gina was asking him a question, he quickly averted his glance, but Gina knew exactly where he’d been looking and didn’t like it.
“Sure, Gin. I’ll be there. I told you I would be. I’m looking forward to it.”
“I’m sorry for asking again, Riv. I just wanted to be sure. My mom’s picking me up in about ten minutes, and we’re going to finish the rest of our shopping. By the way, in case you were wondering, Taylor’s not coming. She told my mom she wasn’t kidding about never setting foot in this town again. My sister sure knows how to hurt my parents. I mean, it’s not like they haven’t gone to LA to visit her.”
River gestured toward the closest boulder. “Let’s sit down and talk before your mother gets here.”
River opened his backpack and pulled out a water bottle. “You know, when Taylor used to bully Jess and the Jinxster, it’s because being a bully made her feel better about herself. Secure people don’t need to bully.”
“Uh … right.” Gina fiddled uncomfortably with the zipper on her backpack as River spoke.
“It doesn’t sound like she’s gotten any more confident being in LA for the past two years, or she wouldn’t be so threatened by this town, especially since it’s way more happening since she left it. Gin, I hope that you won’t be that way. I mean, I hope you’ll feel good about—”
Gina felt sick as panic settled in her stomach. She knew River saw right through her insecurities regarding Avalon. “I’m really sorry, Riv. I know what you’re thinking.”
River turned to look her in the eyes. “I can’t tell you anymore that there’s nothing romantic between Avalon and me. And I can’t tell you enough times that she’s never hit on me. She just wants a friend. You’ve got to deal with that, Gin.”
Gina, aware that River had noticed her nervous fidgeting, looked uneasy. “Hey, can I have a sip of your water?”
“Sure, here.”
She took a few sips of River’s water, then handed the bottle back to him. “I know, it’s just that she’s got so much in common with you. You’re both artists, and you’re both different.”
“Right. And that’s why we’re friends. Why can’t you accept that it’s not anything more?” River put a comforting hand on Gina’s shoulder. “You’re beautiful, baby, and you’re the girl I want to be with. But I’m going to be really honest: it hurt me the way Avalon rushed off because you made it really clear you don’t like seeing us talking. And you told me that you were Avalon’s friend, too, but honestly, I’m not seeing that. You told me that you exchanged phone numbers, but I know you’re never going to call her. And you know, that’s okay. Just don’t hate on her.”
“I’m sorry. I just wish I had a talent to impress you the way she does.”
River was frustrated. “You do impress me, baby. Have I done something to make you feel like I’m not feeling the love, or what?”
“No, Riv. I’m just being a jerk. Do you want me to call and apologize to her?”
“No. Just chill, Gina. Okay?”
Gina looked nervously at her phone. “You know, Riv. My mom just texted me that she’s going to be a few minutes late and I’ve got to use the little girl’s room. So I’ll see you tomorrow night, okay?”
“Sure, Gin.”
Gina gave River a quick kiss on the lips, stood up, then made a dash toward the school. She raced through the open front doors, bumping unapologetically into a few students who were on their way out.
`*`*`*`
As Gina hurried into the girls’ room, she found Bianca waiting for her by the sinks. “I got your text. What’s up? Everything okay with you and Tonio?”
“Heck, yeah. Listen, I texted you to meet me here because I’m worried about you. I was outside with Tonio and we kept our distance because it looked like something heavy was happening with you and Riv.”
Gina peeked under the bathroom stalls to make sure they were the only two in the room. “Yeah, sort of. I found Avalon outside showing River her pictures of her paintings on her cell. I asked what was going on, and she took off really fast just to get River’s attention and make him feel sorry for her and angry at me. Bitch be like, ‘look at my pretty paintings, Riv. Pay attention to me, Riv.’ Ugh!”
“So is that what you two were just talking about?”
“Yeah. Riv was telling me how I needed to be more confident about our relationship and that he and the Jersey girl were just friends.”
“He’s told you that a few times before, hasn’t he?”
Gina took her comb out of her purse and began styling her hair. “Yeah. You know, it’s weird because I love him for being so smart, and then sometimes I hate that he is. Other guys would be so clueless.”
Bianca sucked in her cheeks as she reapplied her blush in the mirror. “Girl, you may not like Avalon, but take it from your bestie: you better start acting like you do, or you’re gonna be the one to kill your relationship, not Avalon. You hear me?”
Gina nodded. “I guess I have to sharpen my acting skills. Who knows? Maybe I’ve got some talent after all.”
`*`*`*`
Muggins went crazy with joy when he saw River enter the trailer.
“Hey, boy. Surprised to see me here, aren’t you? But you don’t have to give my face a bath or anything.”
Muggins kept licking his human brother, while Arielle got out of her chair to give River a hug. “Aw, Riv. You just made my day coming to visit. And I owe this great honor of your presence to …? And where’s Lars?”
“I walked over here with him because I wanted to talk to you. And Lars is
going downstairs in the theater to see if he can talk to Peter again.”
“Oh, good. I hope he succeeds. I can’t stop thinking about that poor boy, waiting forty years for someone who ceased to exist a very long time ago. Just not in the way Peter ceased to exist. It’s really tragic. Sit down, Riv. Since when do you need a formal invitation?”
River sat in Larsen’s chair as Muggins went back under Arielle’s desk. “Since I became royalty.”
“You’ve been a royal pain in the ass since you were born. I’ll give you that.”
“Ha ha. Good one, Mom.”
“Is everything all right?”
River picked a pen up from Larsen’s desk and began absentmindedly dismantling it. Arielle recognized his nerves right away.
“Riv, that pen didn’t die. It doesn’t need an autopsy.”
Realizing what he was doing, River laughed and put the pen back together. “You’re really funny today, Mom.”
Arielle leaned forward and touched his knee. “Are you having problems with Gina? Did you come here for a heart-to-heart?”
“Yeah, but don’t get all mushy on me, Mom. The thing is, Gina’s really jealous of my friendship with Avalon. And even though I don’t like that, I can pretty much deal with it. But I really hate the way it upsets Avalon. Every time she talks to me she’s worried about Gina coming along. Gina’s jealousy just creates so much tension. And for what?”
“Have you told Gina how you feel?”
“Yeah, I have. Several times. I’ve told her that she’s the one I’m interested in and that it’s just friendship with Avalon and me. But nothing I say makes any difference.”
“And you were hoping I could help you.”
“No, Mom. I’m here because I was hoping you had a rocket to the moon, and I could escape into outer space to avoid this drama.”
“Okay. I deserved that. Riv, having spent a good part of my life being insecure, I can tell you, it’s not an easy thing to overcome. If I had been secure, I wouldn’t have made most of my stupid mistakes. I would never have left my family, and I certainly wouldn’t have shacked up in LA with a creep like Phil Hodges and spent years trying to please a narcissistic, misogynistic, movie-producing piece of scum. What I’m trying to say is, it took me years to get it together and really believe that I was worth a whole lot more.”
Desert Star Page 26