“So, what are you saying? I have to wait years for Gina to realize she’s a worthwhile person?”
“No. But you need to be aware that it’s not easy for some people to really understand their own value. You just have to be patient and understand that she can’t change that part of herself overnight. But she does need to be better at not being so blatant about it, though. Especially where Avalon is concerned. Do you love Gina?”
River picked up the pen again, but realizing what he was doing, he put it back down on the desk and looked uncomfortably at his lap. “I think so. I really care about her a lot. I feel good when I’m with her. Most of the time.”
“Honey, all I can tell you is that you need to do all you can to make Gina feel good, but at the same time, you’ve got to know that there’s a limit to your powers.”
River pretended to be insulted. “No way, Mom!”
Arielle laughed. “You give Gina what you can and hope that it’s enough. If you two are meant to be, it will work out. Just be true to yourself, son. You know, let your brain make your decisions, not your … uh …”
“Ha ha. You’re like ten shades of red, Mom.”
“Oh, yeah. Well, take a look in the mirror, Riv. Because you’re twenty shades to my ten.”
`*`*`*`
Larsen was sure he could hear his heart beating. As he descended the stairs without the benefit of his canine ghost detector, he felt a strong chill and realized he didn’t need one.
“Peter. Are you here?”
Larsen saw Peter standing near the flats at the far end of the room. He was slightly more opaque than he had been the last time. Hoping that a sharper image meant that he was gaining Peter’s trust, Larsen walked slowly toward the lost boy, then stopped. It was clear that Peter did not wish him to come any closer.
“I’m so glad to see you, Peter. I am sorry that I had to give you such bad news.”
Peter’s spoken response was adamant. “Bring him here to me. I want to see him.”
“I told you, Peter. Ernie is dead. He’s not coming.”
“My father.”
“I can’t bring him here, either. I told you; I don’t know where he is. Even your mother doesn’t know if he’s dead or alive. She stopped looking for him. I think she’s afraid to find out. They got divorced a couple of years after you died.”
“Why? They loved each other so much. The way Ernie and I loved each other.”
“Who really knows, Peter? From what your mom has told me, he felt guilty. He said he knew how dangerous Willard Carrow was and should have moved away after all of the threats and bribes. But he didn’t want to break your heart and tear your mom away from her home and friends. But then, when you were killed, he blamed himself for not being stronger and protecting his family. He couldn’t handle the guilt, and I guess it wrecked the marriage. So, he went away, and your parents got divorced. Maybe he’s in heaven, waiting for you.”
“But not Ernie?”
“I don’t know. It’s not for me to say where he went. People in this town have their opinions.”
“He was good. He was my soul mate. How can I go to heaven if he’s not there?”
Larsen brightened. “Maybe the Ernie you know is there. Maybe the Ernest that other people knew went somewhere else. I don’t know how the afterlife works. I’m not always too sure about this one. Maybe a soul can split. After all, the Ernie you knew really did die when you did. Only his body lived on to become someone else.”
“I hope so. Look in the desk.”
Larsen looked around. “What desk?”
“Over there.”
Larsen looked over toward the props and saw an old rolltop desk pushed sideways against the wall. “This one?”
“Yes. Look in the bottom drawer. Show me what you see. Please.”
Hurrying toward the desk, Larsen looked at Peter to make sure he did not disappear. He bent down and pulled the handle on the bottom drawer. It stuck just a bit but then opened easily. Larsen put his hand inside and found that he was holding a stack of photographs. He walked back over to where he had been standing and addressed Peter. “This is what you wanted me to see.”
“Look at them.”
As Larsen leafed through the photos, he found one beautiful large photo after another of Peter in rehearsal for West Side Story. Then he came to a photo of Peter with another boy. He knew love when he saw it, and the love he saw in the photograph was something he hoped one day to have for himself. “Is this you with Ernie?” Larsen held the photo for Peter to see.
“Yes. Look at him. He was a good person.”
Peter was right. As Larsen stared at the photo, he saw warmth and light in Ernie Carrow’s eyes that were far from the evil man he had heard about. It was no wonder Peter had trouble believing what he had told him. “These are beautiful photos, Peter. I can see you and Ernie were very much in love. Can I bring these photos to your mother? Or do you want me to leave them here?”
“Let my mother have them.”
“Would you like me to bring your mother here?”
“No. She will want me to go to the light. I can’t go if he’s not there. I have to wait for him. I have to wait!”
“I understand, Peter. But in a couple of weeks, there will be people at this theater all the time. You know, there will be lots of people making new memories. I’m afraid there won’t be as much room for yours. I was just hoping you would want to see your mother before the theater opens.”
“I’ve waited for forty years. I’ll wait forever.”
Larsen opened his mouth to respond, but Peter was gone. Looking down at the photos in his hands, he couldn’t help but think of the bittersweet moment when he would present them to Kathryn. If only he could tell her that it was possible to see Peter again.
`*`*`*`
“Wow, look at this photo of Principal Carrow as a teenager! He looks like a completely different person.”
“No kidding, Riv. It’s amazing. He looks like he was a really nice kid. And then he turned into the devil.” Arielle looked up at Larsen. “So Peter wants his mother to have these photos?”
Larsen stood against the wall of the trailer. “Yeah, he does. But he won’t agree to let me help reunite them. It just kills me.”
River stood up. “Here, dude. This is your desk. You sit down; I’ll hold the wall up.”
Larsen began to protest, but River was already out of the chair, so Larsen took his place at his desk. “He thinks she’ll make him go to the light, and he doesn’t want to go without Ernie. I told him Ernie won’t be showing up and that it’s going to be really hard to be here once the theater opens in two weeks.”
River played with Muggins, who had come out to greet him. “Maybe he’ll change his mind. He’s been focused on one thing for forty years and hasn’t had anybody to talk to about it. He needs a little time.”
Arielle, lost in thought, kept going through the stack of photos, her face clearly indicating she had an idea.
“Hey, Mom, you’ve got your brain turned on. What are you thinking?”
“I always have my brain turned on, Riv. I just haven’t always used it. But I do have a brilliant idea. What if we put a plaque in the lobby and dedicate this theater to Peter?”
“That rhymes, Mom.”
“You think?”
“Ha ha.”
“We can have some of these photos professionally restored and framed, then we’ll place them around the plaque.”
“That’s fantastic, Mrs. D. Kathryn will be thrilled.”
“Great idea, Mom!”
“I’m not done. Right now, our new school will have only three classrooms, a lounge, and an office. But if we do well and expand, I hope it will become something much bigger. I think it deserves a better name than the Desert Theater School of the Performing Arts. What if we call it The Peter Winterstrom School of the Performing Arts? Of course, Jinxsy and Eve will have to approve it, but I can’t imagine they’d have any problem with it at all.”
�
�Heck, no, Mom. Besides, I’ve got the Jinxster wrapped around my little finger.”
“I dare you to tell Jinxsy that.”
“Ha ha.”
“Getting back to business; now, listen, boys, here’s what I’d like to do. After I get approval, I want to publicize the fact that the theater is going to be dedicated to Peter. But when I emcee the talent show, after I make the official announcement, I want to surprise Kathryn and everyone else by revealing what the new name of the school will be.”
“That’s brilliant. We can keep a secret, Mom.”
“That will be the best gift to Kathryn ever! It’s a really cool gift to me, too.”
Arielle laid the stack of photos on her desk. “I hope you’re right, Lars. I feel really good about this. I want this school to embody young gifted students like Peter and you. I love the idea of having a name that really means something and that honors someone so special. And maybe in some way this will give Peter the closure he needs to move on. Maybe just by knowing that he has a legacy here on earth he will find peace.”
Chapter 30
“Come on in, Larsen. River and I are just having breakfast.”
Larsen opened the screen door to the Dalworths’ home and walked into the kitchen, where Mick and River were eating. “Hey, Mr. D. Hey, Riv.”
Mick pointed to an empty chair. “Sit down. Hungry?”
Larsen took a seat at the table. “Well, I sort of had breakfast at home.”
River burst out laughing. “How do you ‘sort of’ have breakfast?”
“Well, I had a small bowl of cereal because I was too nervous to eat much. I can’t believe this is the big day. Tonight the theater is going to open, and I’m going to be performing in the talent competition. Kathryn’s going to find out that the school is being named after Peter, and Lisa and Josh will be filming it all for the TV show. And that’s just for starters!”
Finishing his bowl of cereal, Mick wiped his mouth with a napkin and turned to Larsen. “I’ve never been prouder of Arielle than I am today. I’m proud of you, too. From what I’ve been told, you have one hell of a work ethic. I don’t think Ari could have found anyone better to work as her assistant. I know it’s going to be crazy getting everything ready for tonight, so why don’t you sort of have some more breakfast?”
River laughed. “Good one, Dad.”
Larsen chuckled. “I think that’s sort of a good idea, Mr. D. I’m feeling weak already. Are you coming to the theater with us now?”
“Oh, no. I have to put in a half day at work. I normally go in later on Saturdays, but I wanted to get an early start so I can get to the theater to help in any way I can. I’m going to go kiss my beautiful wife good-bye, and I’ll see you two later.”
“Mom’s in the shower, Dad.”
Mick smiled crookedly. “And your point, River?”
Embarrassed, River shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth as Mick walked away laughing.
“You’re a piece of work, Riv. No wonder your parents say you’re from Mars. But thanks for getting up early to help us. You’re okay.”
“Speaking of being okay, dude, how are you? I know you were hoping to hear from your mom at Christmas.”
“I never said that.”
“C’mon, I know you. When we were sitting here on Christmas morning, I saw your mind taking a side trip from the conversation. I know you were thinking about her and your dad.”
Larsen shrugged. “My dad is dead, and I’m dead to my mom. It’s not like I can change any of that. But your family and Kathryn are like real family to me. I’m really grateful to know you all.”
“How’s Kathryn doing? Is she excited about tonight, seeing you perform and having the theater dedicated to Peter? Wait till she finds out about the school being named after him.”
Larsen took half of a toasted bagel from the basket on the kitchen table and began buttering it. “She was overjoyed about the dedication. I haven’t seen her ever smile like that. It just didn’t last long enough. Remember that Sunday after I got sick when I told you she was acting different? You know, angry with herself?”
“Sure. I remember.”
“Well, whatever she thinks she did wrong, she’s not talking about it, and she sure isn’t forgiving herself. She’s trying to pretend everything is fine, but it’s not. When you live with someone, you get to know that person really well. And when something’s off, you can just tell. Of course, I don’t need to live in the same house with you to know—”
“Ha ha. Better watch it!”
Larsen smiled and took a bite of bagel. “Where’s Jessie?”
“Sleeping in. She’ll probably come over with my dad or the Jinxster.”
“How about Gina?”
“She’s coming tonight with her parents. Gabe’s kids are all coming tonight, too.”
Larsen poured himself a glass of orange juice. “Gabe is really brilliant at what he does. He’s a quiet guy to work with, and sometimes kind of intense, but he’s a master craftsman, you know. It’ll be really cool for his kids to see his work.”
“Yeah, I hope so. Hey, one more thing I wanted to ask you before my mom is ready to go: have you talked to Peter since that day when he showed you the photos?”
Larsen looked unhappy. “Not really. I tried twice after Christmas, but no luck. Then, one day after New Year’s, I went looking for him, and he appeared very faintly. He just kind of stared at me. He didn’t speak out loud to me and we weren’t talking telepathically, either. I could just read his mind, weird as that sounds. He was just telling me that nothing has changed and that he’s not going to see his mother or stop waiting for Ernie. Then I went in there yesterday to remind him that we were opening tonight and that everything would change.”
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. I never even saw him. I felt a chill, and I knew he was there. He heard me, but he wasn’t up for any conversation. And that’s basically it, except that I thought I heard him crying when I left.”
“See you this afternoon, guys!” Mick smiled and hurried out the kitchen door.
“Looks like we should get ready to go, Lars. Let’s head into the living room and wait for my mom.”
Just as River and Larsen were entering the living room, Arielle came in from the other direction carrying an oversized dress bag and a small suitcase.
“Hey, Mom. Where are you going?”
Arielle plunked her luggage on the couch. “Same place you’re going. To the theater.”
River laughed. “Yeah, only we’re not moving in. Ha ha.”
“I hope you come back in the next life as a female, Riv. Then you’ll know what it’s like to have to doll yourself up for an occasion like this, among other things. Now, would you be kind enough to carry my stuff to the car?”
“Where’s Muggins?”
“He’s in the backhouse snuggling with your sister. I think he’s going to stay home today. It’s too chaotic. Besides, he doesn’t have a ticket. Now, let’s go to the theater and get this show on the road. I’m a nervous wreck. I’ve never worked harder for anything in my life. Please, let this day go like clockwork.”
“Sure it will, Mrs. D. What could possibly go wrong?”
`*`*`*`
Bianca made herself comfortable on Gina’s bed as she lay back and put Gina’s pink and purple pillows behind her head. “Okay, girl, so why did I need to haul ass over here at twelve-thirty in the afternoon?”
Gina smirked. “You only live down the street. You have to travel at least five blocks to be legally allowed to call it ‘hauling ass.’ Besides, you’re so tiny, there isn’t much to haul.”
“Okay, so why did you summon my petite butt to your bedroom? Your text sounded kind of urgent.”
“Totally.”
“What’s the nine one one?”
“Are you serious? I told you yesterday that I have no clue what to wear tonight. This is the first chance ever for River to see me glammed up. I want to look like a movie star. First, you need to hel
p me figure out which dress to wear and then what to do with my hair and makeup. I don’t want to look tramped-out like my sister. I want to look like the classy girl that I am.”
Bianca locked her fingers together and stretched her arms lazily over her head. “Okay, girl. I’ve got you covered. Hey, you’ve got a call.”
Gina made a face. “I wonder who it is. That’s my WTFRU ringtone.”
“What?”
“My ‘who-the-fuck-are-you’ ringtone. It’s the default one I set for people who aren’t in my contact list.” Gina looked at the number. “I don’t know anyone with a 201 area code. Hello?”
“Gina, this is Avalon.”
Gina’s eyes opened wide. She put her hand over the speaker and mouthed Avalon’s name to Bianca.
“Oh, okay. I didn’t recognize the area code.”
“Yeah, my family kept our Jersey numbers. Listen, Gina, this is really important. I need your help.”
Gina rolled her eyes. “You need my help for what?”
“I know this is going to sound really bizarre to you, but you’ll have to trust that I’m for realsies. I have a super urgent message for River. I don’t have his cell number, and I called his house phone but only got voicemail. I didn’t leave a message because I figured it would be too late by the time anyone checked.”
Gina sat down on the bed next to Bianca, put the call on speakerphone, and laid the phone on top of a pillow. “Too late for what?”
“Too late for him to get my message in time to do anything!”
“So, what can I do for you, Avalon?”
“I need River’s cell number.”
Gina held up her middle finger to the phone while Bianca suppressed a laugh. “I don’t ever give out anyone’s number. That’s totally uncool.”
Avalon’s frustration was mounting, and Gina was enjoying every sigh on the other end of the phone.
Desert Star Page 27