ROCKSTAR
Page 34
When Dax hung up from his heart-wrenching phone call with Dean, he looked like he wanted to cry. And in that moment, I knew losing Dean as a friend and potential collaborator was a much bigger loss to him than losing Caleb. But Dax hasn’t dwelled on that, as far as I know. Or, at least, if he has, he hasn’t admitted it to me. All he’s ever said on the topic, when I’ve prodded him, is, “Even the shitty stuff has led me to this moment. And, I swear to God, baby, there’s no place I’d rather be than in this moment with you.”
I turn to look at Dax sitting next to me. He’s listening as Zander tells the rapt crowd in this beachside restaurant his “Keane and Maddy story.” It’s what everyone’s been doing at this dinner to kick off the wedding week—telling a cute Keane and Maddy story. And Zander’s story is one of the cutest so far: the story of Keane and Maddy’s very first, highly combative, interaction via text exchange.
As Zander continues talking, my phone buzzes with a text from Miranda: All ready.
My heart leaping, I show the text to Dax, and he smiles and nods.
“…And I told Peenie Weenie,” Zander says, “‘I like that Maddy Milliken. She’s adorbsicles.’”
Everyone laughs.
“And, man, was I right about that,” Zander continues. “This girl is as adorbsicles as they come. These two are perfect together.” He raises his drink. “To Keane and Maddy. Kaddy. I knew you were made for each other, even before you met. I love you both.”
Raucous applause erupts and Zander sits back down. Dax signals he wants the microphone—and the minute Dax stands with it, everyone goes ballistic. Because, come on, he’s Dax fucking Morgan. Even in his own family, he’s a rockstar.
“Hey, everyone,” Dax says smoothly. “I’m super stoked to be here.” He smiles at me and my entire body electrifies with excitement. “What I’m about to tell you will end up as a Kaddy story, I promise, but bear with me because it begins as a Diolet story. As most of you already know, Vi’s been on tour with me and the goats for the past three months. We’ve been having a blast, but we’re also super pumped to take this week off before the final three months to relax with all of you.” He smiles at me again. “Recently, Vi and I did something kinda cool, which we immediately told Keane and Maddy about. And they said we should tell all of you about it here tonight. We were worried about stealing their thunder, but Keane and Maddy insisted. So here we go.” Dax grins. “About a month ago, I got down on bended knee, right after our show in Barcelona, and I asked the love of my life to be my wife. And she said yes.”
Pandemonium. That’s what’s exploding around me. Dax’s parents and siblings beeline to us from their seats. They hug and kiss us and welcome me into the family. I catch Colin’s and Fish’s eyes, sitting next to each other at the next table, and they smile and wink at me. Of course, those sweet boys have known about our happy news since the night Dax popped the question, and they were both instantly as happy for Dax and me as we were for ourselves.
A beaming smile on his face, Dax says, “Violet hasn’t worn her ring since the big day because she wanted to put it on after we’d told all of you.” Dax fishes the ring out of his pocket, kneels, and looks up at me, a massive smile on his gorgeous face. “Violet Rhodes, you’re the love of my life. You make me feel like the luckiest guy in the world, every day. Will you please say yes and agree to become my wife?”
When I nod profusely and say yes, Dax slides the ring onto my finger and leaps up to hug me. Of course, everyone cheers and swoons.
There’s another round of hugs with Dax’s parents and siblings and best friends until, finally, everyone heads back to their seats.
When everyone settles down, Dax brings the mic to his lips again. “Thank you, Keane and Maddy, for letting us share our good news like this. That’s you guys in a nutshell—always willing to share the love and the spotlight. That’s why we love you the most.”
Everyone cheers and claps and clinks glasses, clearly thinking that’s the end of Dax’s speech.
But they’re wrong. Instead of passing the microphone to the next person, Dax brings it to his mouth again. “There’s one more thing I want to mention. Something else Keane and Maddy insisted we tell you tonight.” He grins, a boy with a juicy secret. “Three days after I proposed to Violet... we found out she’s preggers.”
Dax’s parents look floored. Same with his siblings. But I’m laughing along with Dax, feeling hugely relieved to finally have our huge, exciting secret out in the open.
“Looks like we’ve reached a bump in the Rhodes, folks,” Keane shouts, holding up his rum punch, and everyone laughs.
Chuckling, Dax says, “I want to say a quick word of thanks to my sister for getting knocked up accidentally long before I had to stand up here and make this announcement. Thanks for breaking in the parentals, Kitty Kat. Look at ’em. They don’t even look upset. Just surprised. And that’s good because, guys, Violet and I are stoked about our baby news. It wasn’t planned. But we both feel like it’s the best news, ever. I’d already proposed before we found out, and we’ve both always wanted a kid. So all it means is our timeline is a bit faster than originally envisioned. It’s all good.”
Dax’s closest loved ones come at us again. Another round of hugs are administered. Tears are shed. Finally, Dax brings the microphone to his lips again. “So, one more thing. We told Kaddy about the proposal and pregnancy, and they were like, ‘You know, every single person you’d invite to your wedding will already be at our wedding...”
The crowd loses it at Dax’s obvious implication.
Dax raises his voice to be heard above the growing din. “So, we figured, why make everyone travel again, especially when Violet is knocked up?’” He chuckles. “Surprise, everyone! You’re invited to two weddings this week!”
I text Miranda: Now! And, two seconds later, the double doors leading into the restaurant fly open and my paltry little contribution to our guest list files in, all of them waving like contestants at a beauty pageant: my mother, Reed, Miranda, my three roommates from college, and Ashley—Puppy Girl—plus her parents and two siblings.
Dax lifts his water glass and shouts, “Violet and I are getting married on that beach right over there tomorrow at five! We hope you’ll all come! No shoes required!”
Chapter 54
Dax
The sand feels soft and warm underneath my bare feet.
Violet, staring up at me with those blue-gray eyes of hers, is beautiful in her simple white dress. The girl who’s been obsessed with sketching wedding gowns her whole life designed the simplest one imaginable for herself. A backless white sheath with zero frills or flourishes, that fits her curves like a second skin.
Right before we left for the Bahamas, Violet chopped her long dark hair into a sharp bob again, just for me, turning herself into a hitwoman, yet again. This time, my hitwoman bride. Lights and darks, all swirled together, ever so beautifully. She’s a work of art, my Violet, from every angle. Music in motion. Intriguing to me, endlessly.
Holding my hands, Violet says her vows. “Dax, you’ve made this Violet anything but blue. I can’t wait to be your wife and make a family with you.” She looks out at our audience. “And to be a part of your entire, incredible family, forever.” She returns to me, tears in her eyes. “I promise I’ll always be your faithful and loving wife, right by your side, through richer and poorer, and sickness and health, through anything that comes our way, no matter what it is, good or bad, forever and ever. I love you.”
I swallow my tears and squeeze Violet’s hands, overwhelmed with joy and hope and love.
The Bahamian dude with the sick accent turns to me. “Dax, please tell Violet your vows.”
I take a moment to gather myself, and then say, “Violet, the minute I saw you across that crowded room, I felt like I’d known you in a past life. It was like some part of my subconscious thought, ‘Of course, you look like a mash-up of Elvis and ABBA and Uma Thurman—that’s so you.’”
Violet laughs, along with
everyone in our audience.
“And in return, I recognized in your gaze a woman who instantly understood exactly what she was seeing in me. The fact that I’m two guys at once—a guy who’s just as likely to be brooding in a corner as performing at center stage. And with each and every glance and smile and conversation and touch since our first meeting, that initial feeling of deep-seated mutual understanding and respect, that incredible feeling of destiny across a thousand lifetimes with you, has only grown and blossomed. And now, my love, my flower, my destiny, you’re in my blood. Under my skin. Fused with the very tissues of my every organ and tethered to my every thought and idea. You’re a part of me now, Violet. You’re the air I breathe. You’re my heart and soul. My dreams. My everything. And I promise to take care of you, to love you—and our beautiful baby—forever and ever, with every breath I take and every beat of my heart, until the day I die. I love you.”
Violet is crying. There’s sniffling in the audience. And I’m barely keeping it together.
Somewhere in the line of groomsmen behind me in the sand, I hear Fish’s voice mutter, “Whoa.”
I chuckle, because I know Fish is stoned out of his mind back there, and everything I just said was probably quite a trip for the dude.
Other than Fish, my groomsmen include the usual suspects: Colin, Colby, Ryan, Keane, and Zander. Not sure exactly how many of them are stoned back there, but I’ve got to think Fish isn’t the only one. Which is fine with me. I’m not partaking these days, but I don’t care if they do. Especially not here, in paradise, at the chillest wedding ceremony that ever was. A wedding where the bride and groom are both barefoot, and half the wedding guests are barefoot and sloshed on rum punch, and the endless aquamarine ocean is our serene backdrop.
I would have asked my brother-in-law, Josh, to stand up for me, too, since he’s become another big brother to me. Plus, he’s indirectly paid for my wedding, just by paying for Keane and Maddy’s. But I figured if I asked Josh to stand up here, then I’d have to ask Reed, seeing as how he’s Violet’s brother. And while I’m super friendly with Reed, and grateful to him for being there for Violet, and also for what he’s done for my band, he’s not my brother, not like the dudes standing here with me. I mean, he’s technically my brother now. And Ryan’s, too, actually. Which amuses me to no end. But he’ll never be a part of my inner circle the way these other guys are. It’s just the way it is.
The Bahamian dude—who, actually, might also be stoned out of his mind, now that I’m looking at his bloodshot eyes—smiles broadly at Violet. “Do you, Violet, take Dax to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Violet squeezes both of my hands. “I do.”
The Bahamian dude turns to me. “Do you, Dax, take Violet to be your lawfully wedded wife?”
I’ve never felt so sure of anything in my life. I know guys my age are supposed to be on the warpath, in constant search of their next conquest. But that’s just not me. I did that for a stretch, and it just wore me down. Made me feel like I was following the instructions to a board game I didn’t even want to play. I’m so sure of Violet and me, in fact, we’ve got no prenup. If my billionaire brother-in-law could take the leap with my sister, no holding back or Plan B, then that’s good enough for me. This way, I’m putting it all on the line, in every way, come what may. And it feels amazing. I want this woman to be my wife and the mother of my baby, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in the world. And so, without the slightest doubt or reservation and my heart soaring, I look into Violet’s kind eyes and say the easiest two words I’ve ever said in my life: “I do.”
“Whoa,” a voice says behind me. And this time, I’m pretty sure that was Keane. Which means, yeah, my big brother is stoned out of his mind, right along with Fish. I’m not surprised.
The Bahamian dude instructs us to exchange rings, which we do, both of us beaming and blushing. And then the dude starts giving us marriage advice. Telling us colorful stuff like, “Don’t let your mouth carry you where your foot can’t carry you back from.”
As he talks, I glance over Violet’s shoulder at her bridesmaids, or maids of honor, or whatever the heck they are: Miranda, Maddy, Aloha, Kat, Tessa, and Lydia. They’re all smiling from ear to ear. They’ve got tropical flowers in their hair, just like Violet. Everyone’s hair is blowing in the warm breeze. Just like Violet’s and mine.
I feel at peace.
In love.
Serene.
Truly happy.
I’m exactly where I want to be. Where I’m meant to be. With the woman I love. And a baby on the way. I’ve got it all and I know it. And I’ll never, ever fuck it up.
I glance out at our audience and meet my mother’s twinkling eyes. She’s wearing a sundress and a straw hat. She looks a little sauced. She blows me a kiss and I smile. When I meet my dad’s eyes, he nods and wipes away a tear. And that makes me well up with the tears I’ve been stuffing down this entire ceremony, because, damn, Thomas Morgan never cries.
My eyes blurred with emotion, I return to Violet, just as the Bahamian dude pronounces us husband and wife and tells me it’s time to kiss my bride. And so, I do. I lean in and press my lips against Violet’s, the woman I’m going to love and cherish and take care of forever. The woman who’s never had a family, and now has one with me. The woman I know was sent down from heaven to save me from the wrong path. A path of darkness and misery and pointlessness that was beckoning to me—but which I dodged like a bullet, thanks to Violet and the ones I love the most.
When I release Violet’s lips from mine, I lean into her ear. “I love you, wife,” I whisper. And as I say that last word, electricity, euphoria... love sweep over me and bathe me in a warm, peaceful golden light.
“I love you, husband,” she whispers back, tears floating down her pretty face.
I wipe a tear from her cheek and smile. “It’s us against the world, my love. Forever.”
Epilogue
Violet
Holding Jackson in my arms, I clap and cheer for Aloha as she finishes singing one of my favorite songs off her new album—a song called “Boy Toy.” During this tour—22 Goats’ third, but their second as a headliner—Aloha’s been the opener. But, really, a co-headliner, if you ask Dax.
Of course, where there’s Aloha, there’s Zander. He’s been taking care of Aloha’s personal security on this tour, as usual, while Dax’s security has been handled by his usual team, led by Brett—the ex-Navy SEAL who’s been handling Dax’s personal security ever since Dax texted Reed and asked for reinforcements during our first sightseeing trip in Seattle.
Keane and Maddy have also been hanging out on this tour quite a bit, as much as Keane’s busy shooting schedule on his TV show and Maddy’s busy life as a documentarian allow. When Maddy’s documentary about Aloha came out earlier this year, it catapulted Maddy into the big leagues of the documentary filmmaking world. There’s even talk about Maddy being nominated for an Academy Award. And even though I had absolutely nothing to do with my sister-in-law’s amazing documentary about Aloha, it gives me infinite pleasure to feel like I’ve played a tiny part in it whenever I see Aloha wearing the superhero costume I designed for her on the movie’s poster.
In addition to Keane and Maddy joining us almost every other weekend during this tour, Dax’s other family members have dropped by quite a bit, too, on a rotating basis. Since Dax makes sure there’s always plenty of relaxation time built into the touring schedule, we’ve had a blast hanging out with everyone in different cities and doting on each other’s kids and babies.
Speaking of babies, I double-check the protective headphones nestled against Jackson’s wispy blonde hair. They’re designed to protect my baby’s little eardrums in the midst of blaring live music. And, yep, they’re still firmly in place.
“All good, Action Jackson,” I say to my son’s smiling little face. And he coos at me happily, melting my heart. Oh my freaking God, I love this boy! I didn’t know I could love someone as much as I love our little donut.
>
The crowd in the arena applauds raucously, signaling Aloha’s set is over, and I lift Jackson’s little hand and puppeteer him into giving Aloha a little “Action Jackson” cheer.
“Oh, my, is someone cheering for Aloha?” my mother-in-law coos.
I turn to find her standing next to me in the skybox, smiling at her newest grandson. She offers to take Jackson from me, to feed him a bottle and change his diaper, while I run to the bathroom and relax with our family in the skybox for a bit. Gratefully, I hand my baby over to Gramma Lou and sprint for the bathrooms.
“Take your time!” Louise calls after me. “I’ve got him!”
I don’t normally hang out in luxury skyboxes during Dax’s shows. I typically sit front-row center, which is unusual for wives and girlfriends and VIPs. Everyone else tends to prefer watching shows from the wings. But Dax loves seeing me in the audience when he performs, holding his mini-me with his protective earphones on. Dax says he never gets tired of that sight, especially because he knows it won’t last forever. At some point, we’re not going to be able to lug our little donut around everywhere we go. One day in the future, when Jackson is older, Jackson and I might have to hop private planes to visit Daxy during his tours, rather than traveling full-time with him. Which is why, for now, I try to sit where my husband can see his wife and baby as he performs, so we can all savor these early days of our little family.
There have been some shows where I haven’t made it to my front-row seat, simply because I’ve been breastfeeding Jackson in a dressing room, or rocking him to sleep, and couldn’t tear myself away. On occasion, though rarely, I’ve handed Jackson to our traveling nanny during a show, and then watched and danced in the wings. But, mostly, I sit in the front row with Jackson, and Dax and I use the nanny only when we need alone time together. Which, I must admit, we enjoy on a daily basis.