Running From Forever

by K. Aten

  Keller grinned back at Louve. “Well I guess you have your answer.” There was no more to be said so the French woman simply grinned back before turning the lights off with a remote and pulling a large blanket over them all.

  SARAH DIDN’T ARRIVE home until noon the next day. As promised, Louve provided breakfast. It was a traditional French affair with fresh croissants, coffee, fruit, and yogurt. She was relieved when the French woman declared the previous evening’s activities nothing more than a bit of fun. And fun it was but the singer was still glad to avoid any more emotional connections being piled onto her plate. The twins were up and onsite when they finally emerged from the apartment below, so Louve asked one of them to take her two friends home. Keller’s car was at Sarah’s house so that’s where they were dropped off. The bar manager had a few things to take care of at the club that afternoon so Sarah promised to come over later in the evening for dinner. Plans made and a million things flying through her head, Sarah watched as the little blue car turned the corner at the end of her street. She was greeted by an overly affectionate Husky when she finally walked in the house. Rounding the corner, two familiar faces met hers. Annie and Jesse were eating bowls of cereal and watching the cartoon network. She rolled her eyes at them. “Really guys, did you both regress back into childhood last night?”

  Jesse smirked at her. “That would be implying that we actually left at some point.”

  Meanwhile, Annie’s eyes narrowed when she took in her sister’s rumpled outfit from the night before. “Um, Sarah, don’t you keep clothes at Keller’s house?”

  Sarah looked at her curiously. “Yeah, I keep a few things over there just in case. Why?” She gingerly walked across the living room and sat on the loveseat and Duke jumped up practically laying in her lap.

  Annie abruptly sat forward, startling Jesse. “Oh my God! Are you freaking kidding me, Sarah? Does Keller know where you were and what you were doing last night?”

  Confused, Sarah startled at her sister’s outburst. “What are you talking about?” She shifted on the couch, still sore from the night before.

  The younger woman pointed a finger at her. “Are you telling me that you didn’t hook up with someone at the club last night and bail on Keller? Why else would you be strolling in right now, without even a shower, looking like—”

  Jesse looked at her girlfriend now, trying to piece together what Annie was saying. “Looking like what, babe?

  The younger Colby sister leveled a gaze at her. “She’s walking funny, Jesse, and that doesn’t happen when you crash on a friend’s couch for the night.” Jesse’s mouthed Oh with understanding, but smartly remained silent.

  Sarah snickered when she caught on to what had Annie so fired up. “Um, Annie?”

  “What!”

  “Neither one of us went home last night, I was with Keller.”

  Confusion washed over the younger woman’s face. “But—what, where?”

  The older sibling smirked. “Louve took us to the apartment below the club. We spent the night there and had breakfast with her this morning.”

  “Oh, you just crashed with Louve.” It was small voice that came from the chagrinned woman, immediately sorry for jumping to conclusions.

  Jesse cocked her head to the side in thought after watching the exchange. “So why are you walking funny?”

  Sarah chuckled and smirked at the two women. “It’s not the first time.” Annie threw her hands up in the air and with a rapidly reddening face she proceeded to clean up the bowls and box of cereal. When she left the room, Jesse stood to follow her. On her way by Sarah, she held out her fist for a bump. Humoring the younger woman, Sarah obliged.

  Jesse smirked back at her. “Nice!” Then she walked into the kitchen to find her sheltered girlfriend.

  NEARLY THREE WEEKS passed since their night at Temple du Loup. Despite their erotic encounter with Louve, the evening had only succeeded in bonding Keller and Sarah closer together. Sarah and Duke spend most nights with the bar manager and Keller was happy to have her there, but she wanted more. One afternoon when Annie and Keller were both at the bar, Keller brought up an idea she had been thinking about. “Hey Annie, can I ask you something?”

  Annie set down the stack of flyers she had been perusing and looked at her boss curiously. “Sure, what’s up?”

  Keller took a seat at the table across from her and got right to the point. “I want to ask Sarah to move in with me. Do you think she’ll—”

  Annie sat forward. “She’ll freak!”

  The bar manager frowned. “In a good way or in a bad way?”

  Annie made a face and idly scratched at her temple. “Hmm—well…”

  Keller sighed. “In a bad way. But why? I mean, she’s practically living with me as it is!” Frustrated, she scrubbed her hands over her face and through her hair, elbows on the table. When she sat back again, her already messy hair was even more in disarray. “I just—” She growled in frustration.

  Annie understood all too well what her sister was like. She knew her older sibling was terrified of tying herself down. It was directly related to the death of their parents and having to step into a parental role for a younger sibling. She also suspected that Keller’s condition played a major part in her sister’s reticence. She wanted Sarah to move in with Keller for her own good but she couldn’t just ask her to leave. Maybe they could come up with something if they worked together. “You want to go to sleep every night knowing she’ll be in your arms when you wake the next morning. Am I right?”

  Keller groaned. “Yes, that’s exactly it. But no matter how much time she spends with me, I don’t think she’ll be willing to move in. She’s so afraid of commitment, Annie! I’m not going anywhere. I would do anything for her!”

  Annie smiled at her sadly. “I think that’s the problem, isn’t it? She’s spent her whole life running and she knows if she moves in that she’ll be tying herself down to one place and one person. Moving in with someone is a big deal. It’s a promise to stick around.”

  Her boss groaned again and dropped her head to the table, hiding her face. After thumping it a few times she sat back up. “So what do I do?”

  Wheels turning, Annie smirked at her. “You mean, what do we do? I have a plan, are you interested?”

  Instantly alert, Keller looked at the younger sister of her lover. It was obvious that Annie and Sarah were related. They shared their dark hair, mouth, and nose. However, Annie was definitely the slyer of the two. She always had plans and always thought ahead. Keller had seen it many times while the younger woman was working for her. Keller grinned at her. “You’ve been thinking about this, haven’t you? What’s the matter, is your big sister cramping your style?”

  Annie laughed. “I have been thinking about it but it’s not because she’s cramping my style. Jesse and I love having her live with us, it’s just…” She trailed off, thinking about what she would say.

  “It’s just what?”

  “Well, Jesse and I have been talking about this for a while, and we just really want to see you both happy. You two are meant to be together, any fool can see it.” She laughed again. “Well, maybe not my fool of a sister.”

  The bar manager smiled with affection. Annie had been more than just an employee for a long time, she really was a good friend. “So what did you have in mind? I know you, you’ve probably got some grand plan and an even better name for it.”

  “Well, as a matter of fact I do. It will be a lot of work for me and Jesse but I’m calling it ‘Operation PDA’.” Keller raised an eyebrow at her so she went on to explain. “Okay, so I know how weird it is to see your sister sucking face with someone. That’s why Jesse and I have a plan that involves hot and heavy displays affection whenever she walks into the room. We’ll even hang around the house more until we really get to her. What do you think?”

  “A lot of work for you, huh? Jesus! You’re going to drive her nuts. Okay, why don’t you try that for a few
weeks and let me know how she’s doing. Then when I sense she’s reaching her breaking point, I’ll ask her if she wants to move in with me.”

  Annie pumped her fist in the air. “Awesome! We’ll start tonight.”

  AS PREDICTED, TWO weeks later found Sarah at her breaking point. Still clueless about her sister’s master plan, she spent an entire evening ranting to Keller about her and Jesse. “Seriously, all they ever do anymore is grope at each other. It seems like whatever room I walk into in the house, they’re going at it hot and heavy. I couldn’t have friends over even if I wanted to. What the hell has gotten into them?”

  Keller was sitting on her couch, drinking a glass of wine and watching her lover pace back and forth. She was doing some award winning acting to keep a straight face though. She’d heard the complaints many times over the past few weeks. “Well they haven’t been living together that long, they’re probably still in the honeymoon phase.”

  “Honeymoon phase? They’ve been living together for months, Keller! And I think they’re worse than they ever were before. It’s—uh, awkward sometimes when I walk in a room. Jesus, that’s my sister! I don’t want to see that!”

  Sensing that now was the time for the next step, Keller purposely kept her words cool and casual. She was merely making a logical suggestion in order to solve Sarah’s problem. Gazing at the dog that was sound asleep on his dog bed, she took another sip of her wine. “Well, why don’t you just stay here then? It’s not like you’re not here most of the time anyway. Let the kids have their space for a while.” She looked at Sarah, who had gone still with thought. “I mean, I have plenty of room, and we work similar hours. It would solve your issue…” She trailed off, waiting for the explosion.

  Sarah stood by the couch, chewing her bottom lip in thought. While Keller made a good suggestion there was part of her that balked at moving in with someone new. Well, besides her sister. But she also had to admit, if only to herself, that she missed the bar manager on the days she slept at home. There was a comfort to waking in the embrace of a lover and Keller had been very good about not pushing her for anything more serious over the past few months. Sarah felt so much for Keller, but she kept all of it locked tightly behind those walls and excuses.

  She looked down at the woman that she had grown so familiar with and her heart ached. At the exact same moment, Keller turned her gaze up to the singer. That moment when their eyes met sent a pang through Sarah’s chest. She knew that she would be opening herself completely the minute she stopped running from Keller and all that her lover meant to her. In the past, she never wanted to spend more time with someone. The more they got to know each other the more Sarah wanted to escape. But, it was exactly the opposite with Keller. Continuing to stare at the woman on the couch, Sarah could feel her breathing increase with the beginnings of panic. But one thing stopped it and calmed her down. Keller smiled and that one look held many meanings. She could see fear and uncertainty, but also kindness and affection. Beneath it all was that one emotion that Sarah was afraid to name, was not ready to name.

  The moment was broken when Keller spoke. “Sarah? Do you want to move in with me?”

  The singer didn’t like to see so much fear and uncertainty on the face that had grown to mean so much. She thought back to her sister’s words all those months ago. She did want more with Keller. She wanted to fall asleep each night and wake each morning with her. She enjoyed it when the two of them took Duke for walks in the park, or even the simple evenings when neither was working and they opted to order Thai Guys and watch Netflix. Despite all the things that Sarah knew made them different, they shared a remarkable amount of similar tastes and needs from life. She wanted to move forward despite her fear and despite that secret part of her lover that Sarah found terrifying. With a smile of her own, and no small amount of trepidation, she answered honestly. “Yes.”

  Regardless of the hope she had been clutching for months, Keller was surprised. “Seriously?”

  Sarah laughed at the look on her face and came around to sit on the couch next to her shocked lover. She carefully took the wine glass from Keller’s hand and set it on the low coffee table. With long fingers tangling into shaggy blonde hair, Sarah pulled Keller so close they were breathing the same air. Then, with all the surety she possessed, she whispered her response again. “Yes” The kiss that followed was one of joy and relief, and also one of dawning hope. They spent a long time on the couch, touching, kissing, and connecting with each other. Keller was basking in warmth of that single word and in Sarah’s touch. And Sarah’s hesitance and concern were rapidly fading away in the wash of contentment she felt lying in Keller’s arms. She was getting tired of running anyway, it was time to explore her new life.

  They were interrupted by a cold nose and a few urgent whines. If any dog could do the pee-pee dance, it was Duke. They broke apart laughing and Sarah stood with a sigh. “Of course you decide you want to go out right now, you mangy mutt!” Duke whined one more time before running to the door. His leash was kept on a hook right next to it. Sarah just shook her head and followed the anxious dog. “I’m going to run him down to pee. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She slipped on her jacket then paused and looked at Keller. “You know what, we should celebrate somehow since I’ve never lived with anyone but family. We could skip cooking and order a pizza or something. After we could maybe do wine and a movie, or wine and the Jacuzzi?”

  Keller stood and brought her nearly empty wine glass to the kitchen island. “How about Pad Thai, followed by champagne and the Jacuzzi?”

  Sarah grinned with delight. “Ooh, Pad Thai? You really know the way to a girl’s heart! And champagne, so fancy!”

  Keller smirked. “So I’m assuming yes to both? So Jacuzzi or a movie?”

  Ignoring the dancing dog for just a few seconds longer, Sarah walked over to the other woman and grabbed her by the front of the shirt. Drawing her in slowly, Sarah leaned down and ran her tongue around the helix of Keller’s ear. When she felt the shorter woman shudder against her, she whispered in her ear. “What do you think, hot stuff?”

  Keller swallowed when Sarah stepped back. “I think I’ll go call Thai Guys Xpress, and run some water.” The sound of Sarah’s laughter carried well through the apartment door.

  As soon as she was sure the musician was gone, Keller grabbed her cell phone to text Annie.

  FYI, Operation PDA was a success. She said yes! Talk to you later!

  She grinned like an idiot for a full minute before remembering the food. “Shit!” Sarah said yes, and there was no way she was going to screw things up. She had three promises to keep— food, champagne, and Jacuzzi. Well, she actually had four promises but the last was merely implied. She felt her face flush when she thought about where the Jacuzzi would lead them. What a perfect end to the evening.

  Chapter Nine

  AFTER ALL THE plotting and planning, moving Sarah was a bit anticlimactic. Because of all her time spent on the road, she really didn’t own much beyond music equipment, clothes, and dog stuff. It was a pretty sad testament to her life actually. After the move, they invited Annie and Jesse over for Sarah’s first official dinner living in Keller’s condo. Both younger women ooh’d and ahh’d at the modern hi-tech abode. Jesse, with her always tech-oriented brain, started asking questions and making suggestions minutes after walking through the door. Annie spent her time jealously drooling over the view and the Jacuzzi. As they sat around the dining table after eating Keller’s homemade lasagna and garlic bread, Annie proposed a toast. “Here is to Keller’s amazing lasagna and her even sweeter condo!” They all clinked glasses and took a sip of their drinks and Annie continued. “And here is to Sarah finally moving in with a girlfriend after all these years!”

  Sarah immediately choked and sputtered, surprise causing her to inhale her drink. With wide eyes, she looked back at her sister. “G—girlfriend?”

  Annie’s eyes were just as wide as she stared right back at her. “Um, hello
? You moved in with the woman you’ve been banging for months. If that’s not a girlfriend, what is?” Keller and Jesse sat slightly in shock and remained silent. Keller knew that Sarah hadn’t quite put a label on their relationship yet but she was content to let Annie push for her.

  Sarah looked at her sister and then turned startled eyes to Keller. “I, uh—” She cleared her throat and tried again. “I guess you would be my girlfriend, huh?”

  Keller gave her a serious look. “Are you comfortable with that?” Annie and Jesse held their breaths waiting for the answer.

  It took the mercurial singer only a second to answer. “Yes I am.” She laughed self-consciously. “It’s just been a long time, that’s all. I’m very comfortable with it.”

  Keller gave her a broad grin then leaned over and followed it with a sweet kiss. “I’m very comfortable with it too.”

  Crisis averted, Annie caught her older sister staring at her with an unreadable look on her face so she winked at her. Sarah merely smiled and shook her head.

  DESPITE SARAH’S PROGRESS in the relationship department, it took less than a month for her and Keller to have their first big fight as an official couple. It was a Saturday morning and the front page of the paper featured an article about a hit and run on the east side of town. The description of the vehicle perfectly matched the truck that the police had been looking for in connection with the murder and gay bashings that happened over the summer. While the incident didn’t occur near any LGBTQ establishments, it was mere blocks from Sarah’s teaching studio. To be fair, Keller probably wouldn’t have panicked as much if Sarah didn’t have a lesson scheduled at eight that night. “You should reschedule or let me come with you!”

  Sarah sighed with frustration as she put her breakfast dishes in the washer. “I’m not going to cancel, this is a regular client. She only has one appointment a month and I have this specific time slot reserved for Sadie because it’s the only one that works for her.” She turned around and pointed at Keller. “And you have your own job to go to!”