The Doctor Who Has No Closure (Soulless Book 10)

by Victoria Quinn

  “Good. Working with the residents makes me feel young. I remember when I was that eager in residency.”

  “Young?” she teased. “You’re younger than almost all of them.”

  “You know what I mean.” I walked with her down the hallway, the wall made of windows, letting the sunlight flood in.

  “I have lunch for you in your office.”

  I rubbed my hands together eagerly. “What’s on the menu?”

  She smiled like she loved doing things to make me happy. “Lasagna and Caesar salad.”

  “Ooh, that sounds great. I’m glad I don’t have to eat cafeteria food. I’ve been out of school for a while, but I still don’t miss it.”

  She chuckled. “The world’s top heart surgeon deserves better than that.”

  I shrugged off her comment as we continued to walk.

  She pulled out her phone again and read through an email. “So, I was contacted by Dr. Conway. She said she’s in town this week and wanted to get dinner.”

  I turned to Sicily, my eyebrows raised. “Did she mention why she’s in town?”

  She shook her head. “Her email didn’t say.”

  I had a busy week, but I would absolutely make time for her. “Tell her I’m free on Wednesday.”

  “Alright, I will.” She read off the rest of the messages and notices that needed my attention.

  When we got to my office, my lunch and coffee were waiting, so I took a seat behind my desk and started to eat.

  She sat in the armchair along the wall with her tablet open in her hands, reading through more emails as they came in.

  My door was partially open, so one of the students pushed it farther to stick his head inside. “Dr. Hamilton—”

  Sicily was out of her chair so quickly. “Dr. Hamilton is having lunch right now. You can wait twenty minutes.” She went to the open door and stood in front of it, blocking me from view.

  The student immediately ducked out.

  This time, she shut the door before she took her seat.

  Damn, that was pretty hot. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t mind.”

  “I know you don’t.” She looked at her device again, her eyes down, her eyelashes long over her cheek. She crossed her ankles together like the queen, sitting perfectly upright, reading her emails while responding to me at the same time. “But all you ever do is give to people twenty-four seven, and it’s my job to make sure you take care of yourself too.” She started to type on the screen, working quietly.

  I continued to eat my hot lunch in silence, looking at the poised woman in front of me, the way her tight clothing fit her curves in every perfect way imaginable. It was a pretty nice lunch, staring at my hot assistant while I shoveled delicious food into my mouth. Definitely beat helping that resident.

  “Who is Dr. Conway, if you don’t mind my asking?” She kept her head down, her eyes on her work.

  “She was my resident adviser, more like a mentor. Basically what I’m doing with these students, but on a deeper level. She took me under her wing and had me assist on all her surgeries and kinda became my private instructor.”

  “Wow.” She lifted her gaze from her screen and looked at me.

  “Yeah, she’s insanely brilliant, one of the best in the country, and I guess she saw something in me.”

  She smiled. “How can she not?”

  “We’ve talked over email a couple times over the years, but I haven’t seen her since I left Johns Hopkins. She must have heard I’m back to surgery.”

  “Yeah, apparently the entire world has heard,” she said with a chuckle. “Every morning, I have hundreds of messages in my inbox. It’s crazy. I’m not sure how we’re going to cycle in Doctors Without Borders. I left two weeks off for that trip, but…” She stared at me, as if she expected me to say we should just ditch it.

  But I couldn’t do that. “We’ve got to make it happen.”

  Without complaint, she nodded. “I admire your dedication, Dex. I just wish there were more hours in a day, or that we lived longer or maybe could manipulate time so you could help every single person who needs it.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  “And maybe you need two assistants since you work just as much as two full-time people at once.”

  I shook my head and stabbed my fork into the Caesar salad. “No. I just want you.”

  She stilled at my words, her eyes focused on me, and slowly one corner of her mouth rose in a smile before she dropped her gaze back to her tablet, a beautiful color filling her cheeks like my feedback meant the world to her.

  I continued to eat as I watched her, and she continued to keep her head down as she worked. Time passed that way, the two of us comfortable in the silence, existing in mutual peace.

  I walked into the restaurant and found Natalia sitting alone at a table, snacking on the chips and guac in front of her. Her eyes were down, so she didn’t notice me, too busy sliding the chip through the green mixture.

  “Long time no see.” I reached the table just as she finished chewing.

  Her eyes lit up at the sight of me, and she got to her feet to wrap her arms around me in a deep embrace. She was in high-waisted jeans with a black blouse tucked in behind a black and silver belt, boots on her feet, her blond hair long and curled. She had to be in her midforties, but being on her feet all day opening people up kept her in shape, not to mention all the skincare she spent her millions on. “Dex, it’s so nice to see you.” She gave me a deep squeeze and let the affection linger before she pulled away. “Wow, you’re much fitter than you were in residency.”

  “Well, I actually have time to work out now.”

  She chuckled then patted me on the bicep.

  “And I can afford a gym membership.”

  She laughed again then returned to her seat.

  I sat across from her and ordered a margarita when the waiter came over.

  “Wow, and you drink too.”

  “I always drank,” I said with a chuckle. “Just not around you.” I grabbed a couple chips and dunked them into the salsa before dropping them into my mouth. “So, how are you? How’s Hopkins?”

  We got to talking about medicine, new residents, her research, all that good stuff. She’d always been my mentor, the kind of surgeon I aspired to be, a badass who didn’t miss anything. This woman didn’t make mistakes, handling surgery almost robotically, but she managed to care for her patients with her whole heart.

  We ordered a couple tacos and ate as we got to reminiscing about her mentorship, some of the other residents in my class, the surgeries I’d done after graduating. It was nice to talk to someone who knew me from that time period, who could compare who I was now to who I used to be.

  “So…I heard about the break you took.” She held the taco between her fingertips and craned her neck to take a bite, leaving the statement casual so I could choose to respond to it if I wished.

  “Yeah. It was a long year.”

  “I hope you weren’t sick or anything.”

  “No, nothing like that. I just…I just needed to take a break.”

  She nodded like she understood. “I’m glad you’re back. I’m sure your appointment sheet is filling up fast.”

  “I’m already booked for the next three months.”

  She gave a special smile that was filled with pride, like she still saw me as her prodigy even though other residents had come and gone since I left. “You’re teaching residents as well?”

  “At Columbia. After all the help you’ve given me, I wanted to pay that forward.”

  “That’s sweet.”

  A couple moved across the restaurant to one of the tables on the other side of the large room, and the only reason I stared was because I was pretty sure the woman was my sister. She was in a tight black dress and heels, like she was definitely on a date. The guy with her was the same guy I saw in her apartment a couple months ago.

  So, she was still seeing him.

  The guy sat across from her, wearing a long-s
leeved shirt that was tight over his muscles, and there was a smile in his eyes that was also a little arrogant. He was a good-looking dude, a guy who could get any woman he wanted, and since my sister was the best, it was no wonder he wanted to spend time with her.

  Natalia caught my distracted gaze. “See someone you know?”

  “My sister.” I shifted my eyes back to her. “Sorry.”

  “No, it’s fine. Why don’t you say hello?”

  “She’s on a date. Besides, I see her all the time and don’t want to see her more than I have to.”

  Natalia chuckled like she knew I was kidding. “What does she do?”

  “She’s a physician too. A diagnostician.”

  “Does she work at the Harper Clinic?”

  “Yes. How’d you know?”

  “I’ve heard a lot about them, and if she’s nearly as bright as you, I’d imagine that’s where she’d be.”

  “Yeah, she’s kinda smart.”

  She smiled then ate another chip.

  My gaze wanted to shift back to Daisy to study the guy, to see if he was good enough for her or just going to break her heart, but I had to respect her privacy and appreciate that she was a grown woman who could do whatever she wanted. So, I ignored the impulse.

  Our conversation went quiet because we’d already spent the last two hours talking. We were all caught up.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your divorce…”

  My eyes turned back to her, feeling that weight fall into my stomach like it always did whenever someone mentioned it. All I could do was give a nod because I didn’t want to invite any questions or further conversation.

  “Are you seeing anyone now?”

  I was surprised she asked something like that. Our relationship had always been professional, mixed with a bit of friendship and affection, but I never asked about her personal life, and at the time, she never asked about mine. I was certain she wasn’t married and had never married. She seemed too busy and fulfilled to make a commitment like that, not when she was committed to the heart. “My personal life is pretty casual right now.” I’d meet a woman on a Friday night, and we might have a fun weekend, but by Sunday evening, I’d mentally checked out and I was already focused on work the upcoming week. I just wanted to get laid and have a good time, and that was exactly how I presented myself to the women I met in the bars or on the subway. I didn’t waste their time. I didn’t pretend to be seriously interested to get them into bed. If they wanted good sex and a fun weekend, I was the man for the job. If they wanted something serious, I was not at all qualified for the position.

  She nodded and broke a chip between her fingertips. “Mine too. It’s been that way for a long time.”

  I never questioned her about it because I had too much respect for her to cross the line like that.

  “I always knew I didn’t want a husband. With a fifty-percent divorce rate, I just didn’t see the point. Would you gamble your life savings on a fifty-fifty chance?” She shook her head and dunked the chip into the salsa before placing it in her mouth.

  When I got married, I hadn’t thought of it as a gamble. I fell in love and thought it would last forever. I thought we were different from everyone else, that the love we had was real and timeless, that everyone else in the world was miserable, but not us.

  Wow. So fucking naïve.

  “And kids…no thanks. I don’t have time for that. When I devoted myself to this life, I knew that would never be in the cards for me. They require so much time and dedication, and my patients deserve that more.”

  I nodded like I understood.

  “Are kids something you want someday?”

  Really odd question. “No. And I’ll pass on the marriage too.”

  She smiled, like that was exactly the answer she was hoping for.

  We said goodbye outside the restaurant.

  “How long are you in New York?” I asked, my hands in the front pockets of my jeans.

  “Just for the week. I have a couple appointments and a conference.”

  “Great. I’m glad we could catch up.”

  Her small purse was over her shoulder, her blue eyes so astute and intelligent. Her mind always seemed to be processing a million things at once, like a computer that could run multiple programs. “I’m actually relocating to the city.”

  “You are?” I asked in surprise. “You’re leaving Johns Hopkins?”

  “I’ve been there for a decade, and I think I’ve accomplished everything I possibly can. I’ve been offered a research position at NYU, and I just couldn’t pass it up. They also offered me a full-time faculty position.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Will you still be seeing patients?”

  “Always,” she said with a smile. “But the work is repetitive, and I need more intellectual stimulation to remain content.”

  “Understandable.” I turned to the street and raised my hand to wave down a cab for her. “Well, I had a great time catching up. With your move to the city, maybe we could see each other—”

  She pressed her lips to mine, her palm flattening on my chest.

  I didn’t react, just let her kiss me, because the embrace was so unexpected.

  When I didn’t kiss her back, she pulled away but left her hand on my chest. Her gaze was still confident, like my lack of cooperation didn’t disappoint her in the slightest.

  I stared at her, totally dumbfounded. “Um, Dr. Conway—”

  “I told you to call me Natalia. We’re equals now, Dex.” Her hand slid down my chest to my stomach, and her fingers slipped underneath my shirt to feel my bare abs. “I’m not your mentor anymore. I’m your friend. And…I’m very attracted to you.”

  The blood pounded between my ears like a drum as I realized she was unmistakably coming on to me. “Natalia, you’re a very attractive woman, but…it wouldn’t be right. I value our professional relationship deeply—”

  “Babe, I just want to bang you. That’s it. We can be lovers and colleagues. No expectations. No commitments. That’s how I like it—and so do you.” Her hand moved farther up my hard stomach to my chest. “Have you ever been with an older woman?”

  “No.” She was at least fifteen years older than me, but the age didn’t bother me. A sexy woman was a sexy woman.

  “You’re going to love it, Dex.” She moved in close again, placing another kiss on my mouth.

  This time, I kissed her back, even though I knew I shouldn’t. It was hard to deny a seduction, especially when it was wrong, practically taboo. To top it off, she was brilliant, and I’d always had a thing for a smart woman.

  “Come on.” She pulled away and took my hand. “Let’s go to your place.”

  “You did what?” Derek snapped his head in my direction from his spot on the couch.

  “Yeah…I know.” I cringed, knowing I shouldn’t have done it. I should have just walked away.

  “You slept with your residency mentor?” he asked, still incredulous. “You slept with Dr. Conway?”

  Now I called her Natalia. Said her name a couple times when she rode me like I was a wild stallion and she was the wildest cowgirl in the wild, wild west. “A little bit.”

  Derek shook his head as he stared at me with disappointment. “What the hell are you thinking, Dex?”

  “She came on to me, alright?”

  “So?” he snapped. “You politely decline. I do it all the time.”

  “I’m not married.” Anymore.

  “Doesn’t matter. You know how to turn a woman down. You used to do it all the time too.”

  When I wasn’t depressed, bitter, and lonely. When I was in love with my wife, eager to get home to her every night, to fuck her brains out like she was a whore I paid for and then make love to her right after as if I hadn’t just pounded her pussy mercilessly. Times were different. Everything had changed. I had changed.

  “That relationship is ruined now. You understand that, right?”

  “S
he said we can just hook up and still be professional—”

  “Never. Gonna. Happen. Women say that shit all the time, and they don’t mean a word of it.”

  “Look, she’s in her forties, and she’s never been married or had kids. That’s not what she’s looking for.”

  “Maybe she is looking for a fuck boy. But you want to be that fuck boy?”

  I shrugged. “I mean, it’s kinda hot.”

  Derek chucked the pillow at my face. “I’m serious.”

  I let the pillow roll onto the floor before I fixed my messed-up hair. “I know. It wasn’t my finest hour.”

  “And I thought you were doing better? You’re back to surgery, doing research, in good spirits…”

  “I am.”

  “Then why did you fuck up so bad?” Lizzie and the boys were asleep in their rooms down the hallway, so they couldn’t hear us talking in the living room.

  I shrugged and rubbed my palms together. “Come on, give me a break, man. I’m a single guy, and she’s a single woman. We did nothing wrong. Was it professional? No. Was the sex good because it was so wrong? Yeah, I’m not gonna lie. But it’s not going to happen again, so whatever. It’s over.”

  “Even if it is over, the damage is done.”

  “She’s not like that.”

  “She’s a woman. They’re all like that.”

  I turned to him. “That’s sexist, and you know it. She’s a gorgeous woman who’s got brains. If she wanted a husband, she would have had one. She doesn’t. We don’t work together and she’s not my mentor anymore, so there’s no harm.”

  Derek faced forward but shook his head anyway.

  Emerson came from the kitchen in the rear. “Derek, let it go.” She had a glass of wine in her hand, wearing sweatpants and one of his t-shirts. When she approached the couch, her fingertips moved through his short, dark hair before he leaned back against the couch so she could sit on his lap.

  His arm moved over her thighs and his other hand cupped her ass, but he sighed in annoyance.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Listen to your wife.”

  Her arm circled his shoulders as she sipped her wine.

  “And you’re one to talk,” I said. “You hooked up with your assistant.”