The Doctor Who Has No Closure (Soulless Book 10)

by Victoria Quinn

  “It’s not you.” That was all he said, as if that were a sufficient answer.

  “Then tell me what’s wrong—”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, we have a full roster of patients to see today, follow-up appointments we have to squeeze in because I was unavailable yesterday, so I don’t have the time or the headspace to deal with this shit. Do your job. Or is that too goddamn hard for you?”

  I stepped back like a gust of wind hit me in the face. “Is it too goddamn hard for you not to treat me like shit? Fuck off, Dex.” I walked to the door, unable to keep my emotions under control. I gave him a look over my shoulder before I stormed out. “I’m sorry about whatever happened to make you behave this way, and I know it’s not the real you, but don’t expect me to put up with it. Because I won’t.”

  We worked through the day, and I could see Dex was a little different was his patients. He was attentive and comforting, but he didn’t have that extra little quality that made him stand out from the rest. Whatever was eating at him was still gnawing at his insides.

  When his last patient was done, he had his virtual follow-ups with patients, called about everyone on the call sheet, and by the time he was finished, it was almost seven in the evening. I got him dinner even though he should have been finished with the day and set it on his desk.

  He didn’t look at me or say thank you.

  I would normally wait until he was finished for the day before I left, but I wasn’t going to sit around when he didn’t even want me there. I could have found something else to work on, but I didn’t want to be in his presence any more than he wanted to be in mine. I grabbed my purse and coat and prepared to leave.

  He left his office and walked out in his hoodie and jeans, his satchel over his shoulder.

  Ugh, bad timing.

  He didn’t walk right past like I assumed he would. He stopped in front of my desk and looked at me.

  I came around the desk and stepped into the lobby. But instead of giving him my full attention like he silently commanded, I just walked off to the elevator.

  “Sicily.” He didn’t come after me. He stood his ground and waited in the lobby.

  I should have just walked away because he didn’t deserve my attention, but even at my angriest, I couldn’t just ignore him. I turned back around and walked up to him, staring him down furiously, expecting an apology to fly out of his mouth before anything else did.

  He stared at me for a while before he spoke. “I’m sorry.”

  “Better be.” I gripped the strap of my bag, still fuming on the inside.

  “You didn’t deserve to be treated that way, regardless of my problems, and I am sorry.”

  I inhaled a deep breath and felt the anger evaporate from my lungs. “I accept your apology.” He wasn’t stubborn like most men, and if he was wrong, he wasn’t afraid to say it. That was one of the things I loved about him, and even at his worst, I still loved him.

  “And I’m also sorry for this…” He dropped his gaze for a moment, chewing the inside of his cheek as he found his next words. There was a long pause, one that lasted an eternity, before he met my look again. “I don’t want to see you anymore.” His throat shifted slightly, an audible swallow filling the quiet lobby.

  I heard what he said, but that didn’t mean I understood it. “What?” I blurted it out, not following his train of thought.

  “I never should have kissed you. I never should have pursued this relationship. I knew I wasn’t ready, but I did it anyway because I was selfish and couldn’t control myself. I take full responsibility for it. It’s entirely my fault, and I’m sorry for that. Really, I am.”

  My eyes narrowed when I realized what was happening. “You’re dumping me?”

  “No,” he said quickly. “I’m not dumping you—”

  “You fucked me all weekend, and now you’re just done?” I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe Dex would do something like this. “Wow…okay.”

  “That’s not what happened—”

  “That’s exactly what happened. You got your fix, fucked your hot assistant, and now you’re good to go. Now you’re back to finding the next hot piece of ass—”

  “That’s not what happened.” This time, he yelled so I would stop talking. “That’s not what this is.”

  “Then what is it?” I crossed my arms over my chest, my eyes dry because I was too furious to be devastated. It was all happening so fast, all hitting me with no anticipation. “What did I do? You said it’s not me, but it obviously is if you’re dropping me like I mean nothing to you.”

  “It’s not you,” he repeated. “It’s me. It’s always been me—”

  “Fuck you, Dex.” I turned around and marched off.

  He came after me. “Sicily.”

  I turned back around. “Why? Tell me why.” My eyes started to fill with tears because the pain hit me the second I turned away from him, the second I couldn’t see his face anymore.

  He inhaled a deep breath, his jaw tightening. “She’s getting remarried…”

  It took me a second to catch up with him, to figure out he was talking about his ex-wife.

  “We’ve been divorced for a year, and she’s already getting married.” His voice changed, catching slightly, like this news was as devastating as his initial divorce was. “I just… I don’t have much faith—”

  I lost it. “Dex, she’s a fucking bitch. Plain and simple. She didn’t deserve you, not then and not now. And she sure as hell doesn’t deserve to have this power over you, to affect your new relationship when she’s not in your life anymore. I’m sorry that her indifference is so harsh, but now it’s your turn to be harsh. Forget her. She was a big fucking mistake, a big waste of your time, but I’m not.” I pushed both of my palms against my chest. “I’m not a mistake, Dex. I care about you more than she ever did. I would take a bullet for you. I would never, ever hurt you.”

  “I know you wouldn’t—”

  “Then don’t do this. We agreed to take it slow—let’s continue to do that.”

  He dropped his gaze and inhaled another deep breath. “Like I said, it’s not you. You deserve to be with someone who doesn’t carry this kind of baggage—”

  “We all have baggage, Dex. Each and every one of us. I’m happy to carry it with you.”

  He lifted his gaze and looked at me again, his jaw still tense. “I’m sorry, Sicily. I really am. I’m not ready. If I were ready, then this wouldn’t bother me. But it does bother me…deeply. Relationships obviously work for some people, but I’m not one of the people.”

  Tears flooded my eyes and dripped down my cheeks, and I didn’t have the strength or care to give a damn about it. I had my baggage too. I was wounded too. And now I’d been destroyed another time, and this hurt far more than all the other guys combined. “You have no idea…how much you’ve hurt me.”

  He closed his eyes and winced in pain.

  “But I’m not afraid to try again…someday. With a guy who deserves me. I never thought I would be better than Dex Hamilton at anything, but it looks like I have more courage, more bravery, more guts than you ever will.” With as much strength as I could muster, I turned around and strutted to the elevator, stabbing my finger against the button so the elevator would rise as soon as possible.

  Luck was on my side because the doors immediately opened.

  I stepped inside, jabbed another button, and then looked through the open doors to the lobby.

  Dex was right where I left him, his chin still tilted to the floor, his eyes shut, like he couldn’t stand to look at me—or more likely, stand to see me look at him.

  Also by Victoria Quinn

  I rushed into something I wasn't ready for. I want to be ready, wish I were ready, but I'm just not.

  But I miss her. Every day. Every moment. Always.

  It's like losing half of my soul.

  Maybe Sicily is the right person, just not the right time.

  And if that's true, can I really just let her
go?

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