Decadence (Tree of Life Series Book 1)

by Nichole Austin

  He yanks me toward him, his mouth pulling to the side. “Is this how it’s going to be? I’m always going to be chasing after you?” Laughter taints his voice.

  The blood drains from my face, and I want him to let go of me immediately, which he does. Always chasing after me? What does he mean by that? This must be a joke. Our meeting like this is a mistake. We’ll never see each other again after tonight. This connection between us happened because of my vision. I’m meant to be with Xavier or Lawrence, not him. He’s clearly lost his mind if he thinks otherwise.

  A dimpled grin lights up his face, and he teasingly says, “Clearly, sweetheart, you have no clue to what lengths I’ll go to see you again and win your affection.” He frames my face and puts his forehead against mine. “You forgot I could hear your thoughts, didn’t you?”

  You forgot I could do this, didn’t you? A sinister smile spreads across my face as I throw him and make sure the river breaks his fall. When he comes up sputtering and charging toward me, I can’t help but laugh. After the night I just had, this is exactly what I need. The last thing I expect is for him to pick me up and wade into the river.

  “Alaric, don’t you dare!” I squeal. He’s getting me all wet, and if he drops me in the river, my nightgown will be transparent.

  His pupils dilate as he looks down at my nightgown. He wades to the edge of the river and sets me down. His green shirt and black pants are soaked, leaving nothing to the imagination. He’s rock hard in all the right places. “You’re allowed to throw me in the river, but I’m not allowed to do the same?” he questions. “Tell me, mate? How’s that fair?” Raising his eyebrow, he waits for my answer.

  Everything in my head goes blank before it starts racing. I heard only one word out of everything he said—mate. The saliva in my mouth dries up, and everything around me disappears. All I see is him standing in front of me, and my breathing turns fast and erratic. He said we’re mates, but I have two very real men back in Caldia and he lives in Lapshire. Plus, I’m only seventeen. Too young for marriage, too young to have a mate. I’m too young for all of this. How would I even get to Lapshire? No, I can’t go to Lapshire. There’s no possible way I’m Alaric’s mate. This is too much. I can’t be his mate. He is definitely imagining things.

  Cool, wet hands surround my face, and I take a huge breath. After my next big breath, soft, full lips gently touch mine, and the world rights itself with just that one touch. All the pain, hurt, and betrayal I’ve experienced disappears. It’s gone. The kiss only lasts for a moment, and then I’m forced back to reality as Alaric steps back. Bringing my hand up, I touch my lips and look over at him, my eyes almost bulging from their sockets. Slowly, I sit on the soft ground and stare at a flower.

  “You can deny it all you want, Rosalyn, but you’re my mate. As soon as I touched you, I knew. My mother explained this intense feeling to me a long time ago. Though, she never told me we’d be able to talk to each other over long distances,” he explains gently before pulling me against him. His arms wrap around me while he kisses the top of my head. “You’re my mate. We complete each other, and I’ll fight for you.” He kneels in front of me. “I won’t let you go. You’re my eternity, my everything. We may not love each other yet, but we will. Any man who thinks he has a right to you can get in line behind me,” he passionately says as he slams his fists on his chest.

  My nostrils flare, and a growl leaves my mouth. “I am so sick of every man in my life thinking I’m a possession.” Furiously, I bite out the words. Poking at his solid chest, I bring the point home. “I decide what happens with my life, and right now I choose Lawrence. He’s the only man who hasn’t treated me like a possession. If I’m your mate, I should be your equal. I’m not yours to claim, just like Xavier does.” Looking him square in the eyes, I deliver the next line. “Right now, I don’t feel like your equal.” I whip around and stomp toward the gate before my tears of frustration can be seen.

  Steely arms wrap around my waist, halting me. I feel the force of his rumbling words in my back. “I’ve felt every ounce of your frustration. I don’t own you, and you’re free to make your own decisions.” He sighs and turns me around. When I look up at him, I see he has a touch of a smile on his lips. He lifts his hand up, runs his knuckle down my cheek and says, “You gave me tonight, and now I’ll wait until I get to have you again. We were put in each other’s lives for a reason, Rosalyn. No matter what, you’ll always have me.” He taps the side of his head and gently laughs.

  Shaking my head gently, I look down. Before now, there were only two men complicating my life, and now there are three. My love life is a complete mess. Looking up one last time, I take in the beautiful garden. When I look back at Alaric, I get on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. The real world is where I need to be. It’s time to get back to where my problems are and away from this new one developing.

  Chapter Twelve

  Rosalyn

  “Wake up, sleepyhead.”

  I know that voice. A feather-light touch strokes my hair as I try to pry my eyes open. When I succeed, the amazing green ones that meet mine are a welcome sight. I smile when I realize who’s leaning over me, and I welcome his leather scent. But a sudden burst of crippling pain tears through my heart. It doesn’t take long for me to remember my dream from last night and how my list of problems keeps growing. Alaric growls in my head. You keep believing that one, sweetheart.

  “Rosalyn,” Lawrence softly says. “How are you feeling?” He kisses my forehead. Opening my mouth, I try to speak, but my mouth is dry, and my words won’t form. Lawrence’s hand leaves my forehead as he turns and grabs a cup from the table next to the bed we’re lying in.

  “Drink this,” he tenderly says as he puts the cup to my lips. When I take a sip, sweetness bursts on my taste buds, and thankfully, I feel like I can talk.

  Gratefully, I tell him, “Thank you.” He’s so worried about how I feel. Flashing back to the memories of him turning blue, I shudder. Lifting my hands to touch his face, I say with concern, “I feel like I should be asking you how you feel.”

  He smiles at me. “Amare, I’m more concerned about you.” His eyes look deep in mine, as if they’re boring into my soul.

  My stomach flutters with butterflies, then it’s ruined. You think you have a strong connection with him. Can he talk to you from long distances? Is he your mate? I choose to ignore Alaric. He’s become a complication. The fact he thinks we’re mates is ridiculous. Suddenly, anger bursts through my system and overruns me. I’ll let you get away with a lot, Rosalyn. But denying our mate bond? That’s something I can’t handle. Take your time, and I’ll give you your free will. But this is my life you’re messing with. I’m connected to you and have no choice but to feel everything you feel. Remember that when you’re with Lawrence. He breaks off our connection, and the empty feeling he leaves pains me. I don’t feel complete anymore and don’t know what to do about it.

  Lawrence’s finger affectionately bops my nose to get my attention. The lines to the side of his eyes are crinkled, and his teasing smile causes my lips to spread across my face. “Were you daydreaming?” Teasing, he shakes his head. “What am I going to do with you?”

  A surge of heartache shoots through me as I think back months ago when Xavier came home. That was always his line. My eyebrows draw together, and I take a deep breath, hoping Lawrence will answer my question. “Has Xavier always been like he was last night?”

  He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Rosalyn, are you sure you want to hear this?” Slowly, I nod my head. This is something I need to hear. With a heavy sigh, he says, “I’ve known since I was a boy that Xavier is not someone to cross.” His eyes glaze over for a second, and then he makes eye contact again. “He was cruel to everyone around him until you came along. Your mother used him as an instrument of torture, if that gives you any insight.” His tone is serious.

  A gasp escapes my mouth, but Lawrence tenderly strokes my face to soothe me. He crushes me to his chest, and his lips move
in my hair. “I’ve never seen him love anyone, Princess, until you. For the last seventeen years, your presence brought out a softer side in him, but when you weren’t around, he was still the cruel bastard he’s always been. So, what you saw last night, Princess, yes, that’s normal for him.” The harsh explanation crushes my heart. When you think you know the essence of someone and then realize you don’t, everything you feel is destroyed.

  My breathing becomes staccato-like as my world caves in even more. The man I grew up to adore isn’t who I thought, and I don’t know how to process it. I flash back to all the moments I’ve had with Xavier, every touch, smile, laugh, and kiss. Was everything a lie? Muttering against Lawrence’s chest, I ask, “Did he even love me?” My eyes sting as I bury my face in Lawrence’s chest. He tugs me to his chest and catches the lone tear that manages to escape before it falls down to my chin.

  “Look at me, Rosalyn,” he softly demands. Slowly, I bring my eyes to his face. “I think he still loves you and always will. He just doesn’t know how to love you the way you need to be loved.” His eyes flash with reluctance.

  My eyes well up, and I squeeze them shut, burying my face in Lawrence’s chest. Although I asked for the truth, it doesn’t mean this doesn’t hurt. Silently, I mourn my mistaken image of the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. He’s a monster. The heartbreak this new understanding brings is almost crippling. And I’m beginning to resent everyone who keeps things from me. Eventually, I’ll find things out, and when I do, it’ll pulverize my heart. I’m over this feeling.

  I’m comforted by the light pressure that makes its way up and down my back as I cry. This man has been by my side through some difficult times. When the tears finally stop, I separate myself from his solid chest. The look of uncertainty on Lawrence’s face when I raise my chin makes my heart beat hard in my chest. Keeping my hands busy, I twirl a piece of hair between my fingers, refusing to meet his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

  His hand grasps mine, pulls it away from my hair, and then brings it over his heart. The thud of his heartbeat has me studying our clasped hands. Leaning down, I kiss the top of his and hear the quick intake of his breath. When he puts my hand on his heart, something between us shifts, almost like everything is now serious. There’s no pretending anymore.

  Propping my chin on top of his chest, I meet his eyes, which tug at my heart. He brushes his hand across my cheek. “Go to sleep, amare. You’ve used a lot of energy with your powers. You need to regain your strength.”

  Everything feels heavy, and my eyelids no longer want to cooperate, but I have one last question to ask him. “What does ‘amare’ mean?” My voice is a whisper in the small room as I slowly lay my head on his chest. As I’m on the edge of sleep, I hear him whisper, “It means ‘love’.”

  “I’ll never understand why Mother doesn’t just kill you all. The lot of you are a waste of space,” a girl with brown hair tells Lucas. He’s sitting at a dining room table staring down. He only has table scraps on his plate, but the girl has meat and cheese on hers. My eyes move between the two plates because an entire pig rests on the table, and it doesn’t make sense why he doesn’t have more food.

  A young man enters the room and sits next to Lucas. He looks like him and seems to be around my age. A plate, looking much like the one Lucas has, is placed in front of him, and his lips turn down in disgust. Neither of them move toward their plates, not an inch. The dining room is immaculate with warm browns, but the climate couldn’t be colder.

  “Hey, Andrew.” The girl smirks when she sees the boy jump. “I can’t wait until mother puts you into slavery. I wonder who she’ll sell you to. I hope they chain you and torture you all day,” she says with such attitude I want to fly across the room and slap her across the face.

  Andrew shakes, and I go up on the tips of my toes to attack her. “Enough, Cassie!” Lucas lets out a harsh breath as he slams his hands on the table.

  She stands up quickly and grabs the table. “Excuse me, Father,” she says, outraged. My mouth drops open and my eyes bulge.

  I gasp when she rounds the table and punches him, and a drop of blood forms on the corner of Lucas’s mouth. “You seem to have forgotten your place. Don’t ever tell me what to do again.”

  I crack my eyes open and squint at the stone walls of the room around me. “This is bad,” I mutter. A second vision of the same man—Lucas. He’s older than I thought. Remembering what his own daughter did to him makes the bile in my stomach bubble up into my mouth, and I lean over the side of the bed as my stomach clenches and vomit drenches the floor. I swipe my hand across my mouth when I’m done, and the acrid smell almost makes me heave again.

  I realize Lawrence is no longer in the room with me. My heart pounds, and I’m scared it’s going to pop out of my chest. What if someone’s hurt him? In my panic, I swing my legs over the side of the bed near the door and stand on shaky legs. As they buckle, strong arms wrap around me and pick me up.

  “I’m right here, amare,” he says gently. “Your mother had to talk to me.” Lawrence gently places me on the bed and places a hand on each cheek. His eyebrows knit together as his eyes search mine. “You’ve worried yourself sick.” He leans down, and his soft lips gently brush my forehead. Releasing me, he goes to the corner and grabs some towels to clean up my vomit. It doesn’t take him long, and then he sits next to me on the bed, pulling me to him. His arms surround me, and his breath tickles my ear. “Why are you so upset, Rosalyn?”

  My breath hitches, and I lean into his chest while I wait for my brain to stop short-circuiting. I’m finally calm enough to I realize that he’s the reason why. My voice cracks. “I thought something happened to you.” There’s no way I’m telling him about my vision. That’s something I’ll have to figure out on my own.

  Technically, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. You’re choosing to figure it out on your own, Alaric tells me, disappointment clear in his tone.

  Gnashing my teeth together, I furiously send back, Alaric, what do you not understand? I don’t get why you won’t just leave me alone. We aren’t mates. Why can’t you just accept that? Feeling Lawrence’s lips in my hair, I turn my focus back to him.

  A feather-light kiss lands on the side of my neck, and I lean my head to the side to give him better access. You do realize I can make you feel better than he’s making you feel, right? Alaric says sarcastically.

  Nothing like Alaric to break up the moment I’m having with Lawrence. Butt out, Alaric. I don’t care how good you could make me feel. I don’t want your hands or your lips on my body. I bring my attention back to the man in the room with me.

  “Lawrence,” my tone causes him to snap his eyes to mine. “Don’t ever do that to me again. If something happens to you because of me, I’ll never forgive myself.” I’m gnawing on my lower lip as I think back to the moments when I woke up knowing he was being attacked and I had to get there as quickly as possible. The last thing I want to do is repeat that.

  Lawrence puts his thumb up to my chin and pulls on my lower lip. “How about you don’t chew through your lip.” He puts his hand on my cheek, and I lean my head into it. “You do realize I’ve been around a lot longer than you have, right? I think I can defend myself if something comes up, amare,” he says tenderly. Leaning forward, he kisses my forehead.

  “I realize you’ve been around a lot longer than I have, but I’m the one who saved your life last night. If you remember correctly, Xavier almost killed you.” Shuddering, I try to pull him closer, but he quickly moves away from me.

  Gently, he grabs my shoulders. “The last thing I need is for you to tell me I’m inadequate. I’ve had a hard night, and I don’t want to have this discussion with you right now.” Turning around, he makes his way out of the room, slamming the door.

  The moment the room goes silent, I realize my mouth has gotten away from me, and I can’t take back the words I just said. Trying to lift my hand to my lips, it falls right to the bed, and I realize
there’s no way I can go after him. There’s only one way I can say I’m sorry, but that means I’ll have to reveal my secret to him. At this point, I don’t care.

  Lawrence, I’m sorry for what I said. What you don’t know is that I had a vision of you fighting Xavier last night, and I died a thousand deaths when I arrived at your chamber and you were on the floor. Losing my battle to the overwhelming sadness of him leaving, a single tear leaves a trail down my cheek. The last few months of getting to know you have gone by so fast, and I feel like I just got you. Please don’t walk away from us. Forgive me, because I really need you in my life.

  Falling over on the bed, the door opens. A red head peeks through, and a heavy sigh breaks through my lips because it’s not Lawrence. Alizon moves closer to me, and in her arms is a gold and red dressing gown.

  She softly smiles. “How are you feeling?” Laying the gown on the bed, she sits by my feet.

  “Like a horse trampled over me,” I say, rolling my eyes.

  She slaps her hands on her thighs and laughs. “That’s a great analogy.” When she’s calmed down, she leans over and tucks a piece of hair behind my ear. “I passed Lawrence, and he said you were awake. There’s a guard outside waiting to take you back to your chamber.” She simply sits there and waits to see how I’m going to react, and I can’t tell if she knows what happened. If she thinks I’m going to open my mouth, she’s crazy. I’m too weak to get into it.

  In a hurry, I nod my head. “Can we just get me back to my chamber? I just want to go to sleep.” I’m hoping she’ll allow that.

  Alizon slowly shakes her head back and forth. “You aren’t just going to sleep, Rosalyn. We’ll be discussing this Lawrence situation.”