The Journey to Northumberland and the Rise of the Undertoads

by Kenneth Mullinix

  *

  "So Louis will we raise Hobgoblins tonight from the dead or a Sith Fairy", ask an inquisitive Short Stack, "and by the way what is a Hobgoblin and a Sith Fairy? I have heard you talk about them but I have no idea what they are."

  Louis looked intently at Short Stack's left eye that had once been blackened by Frank Fatbottom. "Do you still have nightmares about that day Short Stack; you know when Fatbottom socked you?"

  "Louis don't bring that up again, it's too painful to talk about, and yeah I do have nightmares about it. Let's stay on the subject. We can talk about that later, I know that Fatbottom is back in town I saw him yesterday by the Five and Dime Store. He was looking for Tessie Whitman."

  Louis shuddered at the thought of being punch in the eye. His skinny knees started to knock together below his blue jean shorts.

  "Now Louis can we talk about something more important, what about those Hobgoblins, what exactly is a Hobgoblin?"

  Louis quelled his banging knees long enough to gather his thoughts about him. No one noticed the odd sounds except Growlin Harry and Chug.

  "Chug did you hear that strange sound outside. It sounds like a couple of woodpeckers are making a home in that there tree outside of the barn. Did you hear it?" asked an amused Growlin Harry.

  "Yeah it sounds like they're really trying to get it done before that full moon tonight so they can hide out from ole Fatbottom before he shows up tonight at the Widdershins dance. Both kids winked at each other at Louis's expense, knowing all the while about Louis's loose knees and fading courage.

  Louis turned a bit redder in the face than he already was more so to delight of the other kids as they fell about the haystacks in Mr. Beamer's barn. Louis again tried to gather his wits about him as he spoke out.

  "Yeah that's the sounds of a couple of woodpeckers alright outside, and also the sounds of two pecker-wood dimwits trying to be funny."

  Louis smiled at his friends, then pulled up his shorts a little higher and began to shake his legs uncontrollably. Everyone fell about the place as a Louis started to do a fanciful jig. At the conclusion of his most delightful dance, a real woodpecker could be heard outside the barn on that self-same tree, pecking away.

  Tessie Whitman looked at Molly, as Molly climbed on top of Stuttering Sammy. Chug punched Louis in the arm, as all looked about the barn at the farm animals which were oblivious to the entire conversation.

  "Now about those Hobgoblins and fairies, what are they Louis?" asked Short Stack.

  "Well Short Stack Hobgoblins are small, hairy little men who...like their close relatives, brownies...are often found within human dwellings, doing odd jobs around the house while the family is lost in sleep. Such chores are typically small deeds, like dusting and ironing. Oftentimes, the only compensation necessary in return for their services was food. Attempts to give them clothing would often banish them forever, though whether they take offense to such gifts or are simply too proud to work in new clothes differs from teller to teller. They can be raised inside of fairy rings under the right circumstances along with Sith Fairies. Now I know you are going to ask me about these particular fairies as well, am I right Short Stack?"

  "Well actually I was still trying to picture hairy little men doing house work, and if they are really wearing aprons or not."

  Chug began laughing aloud at the thought of this, as Molly grabbed a nearby broom and began to mimic a Hobgoblin cleaning up.

  "This is not funny, this could really happen. I can raise the dead, and I am going to show you tonight. All of you, now as for this Sith fairy; they go by other names like a Sleagh Maith. These fairies are mostly human in appearance and they have magical powers. Where they come from is mostly unclear but in folklore they are mostly dead or are a form of a good demon, or can be completely independent of human form, more like an angel. Some can be real evil though. They went into hiding hundreds of years ago as man populated the planet. Now Siths fairies are said to be the Good People and have a middle nature between man and angel. They are intelligent, and have light changeable bodies like an Astral Fairy might have, sort of like a condensed cloud, and are best seen in the twilight of the early morning or late evening or during a blue moon, and during this blue moon tonight is when we are going to raise a Good Fairy, a Sith Fairy from inside of the fairy circle by me, the Fairy Tender."

  Molly looked at Chug, as Chug looked across the barn at Tessie, who in turn looked at Short, as all then looked at Stuttering Sammy, all mouths were agape.

  "Geez....Louis...maybe...ah...er...er you are a Fairy Tender" said the bewildered little Short Stack.

  "Hobgoblins, fairies, forest and stone trolls, elves, witches," loudly proclaimed Louis as he grabbed a red cotton blanket out of a nearby cupboard, spinning it artfully over his thin shoulders, "these are the creatures at my command, tonight; for I will raise the dead, un-dead, semi-dead and the barely living from there lairs below us and maybe even above us!"

  As Louis began his rant Molly silently snuck up on Louis from behind, hiding her intentions. She hid behind a large hay bale as Louis approached from the other side of the barn.

  Louis found Mr. Beamer's walking stick laying against a nearby wall, he raised it above his head, pretending it was a magical wand, then continued onward with his pompous theatrics, "I am the...Great Fairy Tender...The Great Red Magician, The Giver of Life...the...the...!"

  Hot Tamale Molly sprang from her hiding place as Louis closed in, she pinched the cloth robe off of his shoulders, quickly covering his head in darkness, she spun him around twice then swiftly kicked him in the behind, sending him into a dizzying spin toward the horse trough found by the large front barn doors.

  The air flew out of his lungs as the pain from the kick shot into his nerve endings, and just as he was about to be bathed from head to toe in an inglorious fashion, Mr. Beamer entered the barn in a dissecting path. His strong arms stopped Louis's unwanted advance towards his infamous demise in front of his friends. After steadying Louis upright and helping him gain his footings, Mr. Beamer snatched the cloth off of Louis's head; a wild-eyed Louis emerged full of surprise at his un-natural predicament.

  "Well Mr. Great Fairy Tender, are you practicing your art for the big night?" queried the bemused farmer.

  "Well...ah...er...what happened?" said the keyed up child, "who did that?"

  The other kids all broke out in laughter again at seeing Louis's facial expressions and boyish excitement. Mr. Beamer sat down on a nearby hay bale as he motioned for Louis to come closer and sit down with him.

  "Louis I've heard from some of the older inhabitants of our fair town, and from some of the younger and older kids as well that tonight, out by the rocky quarry at the outskirts of town, that you and Molly here, Chug and they rest of your friends are going to celebrate Walpurgis Night and cause a little maleficium and black magic. The Knights of the Templar once took a path that you are thinking of a long time ago, in The Olden Age, in The High Ancient Time of Men. Is this true are you going down that same pathway?"

  "Ah...er...now you see Mr. Beamer I guess, am I...er...yes...well...kind of...er."

  Mr. Beamer shook his head again in disbelief at what he was hearing.

  "Maleficium...ah...what is that?" asked a questioning Growlin Harry.

  "Maleficim Harry is a Latin word which means a wrongdoing, or mischief. Or a term used to describe a malevolent, dangerous, or harmful magic. Or to put it in simpler language an "Evildoing" or "Evil Sorcery"

  Louis's throat went dry; he could not swallow.

  Mr. Beamer turned his words and thoughts back towards Louis once again.

  "Well I thought so Louis. So since I have not seen those certain books of mine and they have not been returned yet I can only guess where they are. And that goes for the rest of the kids here. If any of you have seen my missing books, I want them returned. They are not to be read by ones that are as
young as you all are, and as inexperienced in life.

  Louis could just not bring himself to admit his shortcomings and thievery. He just sat there with a blank look trying to understand his odd behavior; the behavior of a thief. Inside all he could think about and all that kept running through his thoughts were, "But everything is planned. All the kids are coming tonight and I need those books for the correct spells and words to use, to see my fairies...but...but..."

  "I can see now that no one knows anything about those missing books" said Mr. Beamer as disappointment showed in his eyes, "Walpurgis Nights is upon us then. There is nothing I can do about it. I am not your father Louis. I am just your friend, and as one friend to another I can only give you some advice then.

  I being one who has lived a longer life than you have, and have been to places you could not even imagine or seen, things that your wildest imagination could not even take you to. I implore you to not do what you are thinking of doing tonight. There is dark-magic in this world that you do not know about, or want to know about, and I believe this is what your immaturity and youthfulness is driving you towards tonight. Showing off for your friends will only get you in trouble, "Mr. Circle Fairy Tender". Short Stack showed off last year at that same watering-hole to all of your delight by insulting Frank Fattom Junior, and looked what happened to him? I have now seen your fairy circle Louis."

  Louis shoulders slumped as Mr. Beamer continued to speak.

  "I was out there just last night. I guess you did not see the Runestone in the very center, almost completely buried in the necrotic zone. This is a tell-tale sign of an evil Sleagh Maith fairy being raised and not a gentler Astral Fairy being inside of that circle."

  Molly's face froze in place with a blankness the other kids were quick to pick on and display themselves. Each in their own way looked about the barn with disbelief etched in their minds and hearts. Was Louis right this whole time, or is Mr. Beamer just playing an awful trick on the hopeful, budding magician?

  Mr. Beamer rose from his perch, off of the hay bale with the red blanket firmly in his left hand. He spun the blanket about in a mystical fashion, like that of a seasoned wizard as he dug deeply into a oversized pocket that stretched down the side of his blue jean overalls. Now appearing in plain sight was a very, from-the-past-looking, crooked stick. Raising it above the cloth blanket and now speaking in a rhythmic fashion, he spoke aloud in an odd low pitched, gravelly voice that the children had never heard before, which only enlivened and engulfed their senses:

  Widdershins, Widdershins, a Widdershins night

  all the children dance and shout, circle left nine times yes we do

  just so we can begin to raise you

  Quagga-tail switch, abide and heed my callings

  because tonight's blue moon is surely rising

  Upon the rise in the next twilights new morning

  be an Astral Fairy nary a Sleagh Maith Hairy

  Young is he the new crowned fairy tender

  his youth should not be his profound undoing

  Under my command you must wisely rise

  be only Atamo the Astral Fairy, or the fairy tender faces his demise

  Widdershins, Widdershins, a Widdershins night

  all the children dance and shout!!

  An enormous flash of white and red light exploded out in all directions from the tip of the quagga-tail switch as it snapped backwards under Mr. Beamers command. As the supernatural, unnatural and ghostlike light dispersed about the room a thunderbolt detonated underneath the roof of the barn startling all of the animals and children alike. All ran for cover as the strange colored lights reached their apex around where Mr. Beamer was last seen standing. The red cloth blanket dropped to the floor as the natural light backscattered into nothingness; the real world light quietly found its way back into the barn as all grew deathly still.

  "That Mr. Beamer; what a trickster, a charlatan, a cheat, a con artist, swindler, and what a slippery custom!" proclaimed a bemused little Louis as the fright of it all escaped the last of the nerve endings in his rattled brain, "don't you see? This is all a fraud! He's just trying to scare us into not going tonight to Walpurgis and to a Widdershin dance. He's really right behind that bale of hay over there."

  Chug scampered over to the front doors of the barn. He looked behind the largest of the bales of hay, then behind the two barn doors, nothing.

  "Are you...you sure...I mean really sure of this Louis" stammered out a believing Chug, that Mr. Beamer had really vanished.

  "Obviously his not here Louis" made known a shaky Molly, "and what was that spell, or incantation? It was a warning Louis for us to not go tonight."

  "We have to go, it is all planned. The mushrooms are ripe and ready, the blue hair moon will be rising at midnight and you have baked all of those goodies. Heck the whole school house is coming. All of our friends are coming. Who cares about that ole' Mr. Beamer, he's just having fun at our expense. He's just an old farmer who thinks he's a wizard, or conjurer...or...a...juggler that's all."

  "But Louis he's gone and what about the lights, the lightning bolt, and thunder?" asked Tessie as she comforted Molly the best she could.

  "It was all just a show, man I can do that stuff you wait until tonight. I will top that display, I have been practicing, you just wait and see" said Louis as he comforted Molly the best he could.

  "Are you sure this is going to work and no trouble will be forthcoming tonight?" asked a restrained and very hesitant Growlin Harry in his low growling voice.

  "Yeah of course it will be fun. This is going to be the biggest party of the year. I will see you all tonight at about eleven out at the water-hole. Now let's all go home and relax a bit and rest, that way you all can be ready for the "Big Show" stated a now ever more confident Louis.

  Louis began to usher all out towards the front of the barn and towards the road back to their homes. Back pats, hand slaps, and smiles escorted them forward "OK...I will see you all tonight, be sure to be on time now" said Louis as Muncy jumped wildly about the front yard chasing a wayward butterfly.

  As all were off and down the road, Chug turned back towards Louis with a few words of caution and admonishment for the self-aggrandized Fairy Circle Tender, "You better be correct on this one Louis and not mess it up, like you do everything else. What if Mr. Beamer's warnings are founded? We could be getting into a big stew of trouble that we might not be able to get out of and what about a...a real evil Sleagh Maith Hairy...what the heck...?"

  "Never mind that Chug I've got it all under control...trust me Chug...just trust me...?

  "Now Louis that is exactly my point Louis, exactly. I know we are going to dress up and scare the girls with our little plot for the dance tonight, but the rest of this could get out of hand in a hurry if Mr. Beamer is really correct about all this magic stuff."

  "Ah don't worry Chug...I've got this one...no worries man...no worries..."The Plan" is still on..." stated Louis once again to try and calm Chug down.

  Chug disappeared down the road shaking his head in worry. Louis turned backwards towards the barn doors. Slowly sauntering in he sat back on the self same bale of hay that he was on before, turning toward Harriet the Milking cow he spoke to himself "Man on man those guys have no faith in me. Don't they have any faith in the "World Renown Fairy Circle Tender" from Centerville Indiana? Me, "Red the Great", "Louis the One and Only"...Louis the...the..."

  His voice trailed off as he lay down on a straw bed. He closed his eyes and began to slowly and methodically fall asleep; resting his weary mind. Trouble followed Louis everywhere he went and everyone accepted it but the unforthcoming little Louis. He would show them this time, no flub-ups...man no flub-ups...he kept thinking, he would surely show them all...this time. Louis took a well-deserved nap as images of a real Sleagh Maith Hairy invaded his dreams.